Sex Gets Real: Talking Sex, Relationships, And Kink With Dawn Serra

In the DC area? Sign up for my workshops at Secret Pleasures Boutique by popping over to their workshop page.  What can I even say about an episode that not only has Dylan, as the celesbian guest this week, but Dylan singing Rihanna? Yep. It was amazing having Dylan back on the show, beer in hand, for a fun, frank discussion and answering listener questions. She has been working so hard that we've had virtually no time to catch up.  On this episode, we dig into strap-on sex, sex positions, cuckholding and sharing the fantasy, plus how to find your voice as a submissive and what to do if your new hook-up only likes one position. There's a lot of laughing and over sharing, but you knew that. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. Do it.  About Dawn Serra For those of you who have listened for awhile, you know more about my sex life than most people know about their partners, but I figured it was time for a little bio action. First, you can check out my sex & relationship coaching over at DawnSerra.co

In the DC area? Sign up for my workshops at Secret Pleasures Boutique by popping over to their workshop page. The October "From Curious to Kinky" isn't up yet, so check back soon if you've got your eye on that. We all have those people that we admire to the point of fandom, and for me, one of those people is Emily Nagoski. Her work has had a deep impact on my personal life and my professional life. She single-handedly changed the way I work with clients who have low desire or libido they aren't happy with. And her blog? It's one braingasm after another. So, needless to say this week was a dream come true for me. Because I've already spent so much time gushing over her book, "Come As You Are," on previous episodes, we don't actually spend a lot of time talking about it in this hour. Instead, we talk about pleasure and joy as political rebellion, feminism, the importance of creating context that works for your sexual enjoyment, being inclusive of all bodies, fat acceptance, research, and her new book on burn ou

Conner Habib generously agreed to jump on the phone with me at the last minute for this week's episode, and our conversation is incredibly political and philosophical in ways you don't often hear on the show. This is my second time interviewing Conner and both times we've chatted, I've felt challenged and inspired to think bigger.  Strap on your thinking cap and get ready to feel stretched by some of Conner's ideas about feminism, sex work, consent, and oppression. I also invite you to listen to the entire conversation before forming your ideas and thoughts about some of the radical things Conner has to say. He often makes me uncomfortable with his visionary approach to sensitive subjects like consent, but as you'll hear, he is as self-aware and thoughtful as he is provoking. Sit with any discomfort that comes up and then let me know what you think. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.  About Conner Habib Conner Habib is an author, a lecturer, a porn performer

There is something so delicious in talking about something that I have so little experience with. This week's chat with Princess Kali is just that - a fun, playful talk about erotic humiliation, objectification, mastering kink, and being a Dominatrix. It's rich, it's approachable, and it's terribly intriguing. Throughout the episode, Princess Kali drops truthbomb after truthbomb. I adore her story of how she got started as a stripper and Dominatrix. It's not often you find a woman who recognizes that men will be objectifying her simply because she's a woman, and so decides to make a profit off of that behavior. We dig into what humiliation is and why people crave it, how you can tap into your inner Dominant, and what happens when people stifle and ignore their deep sexual desires. Plus, tips for getting your submissive involved in scene planning! As Princess Kali says, kink is a team sport. I can't wait for you to hear this chat. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Inst

It's just you and me this week. No guest. No interview. Just your questions and emails and me savoring every single one of them. We're talking transsexual fetish sex, pegging, exploring sex with a partner who is a rape survivor, what it means to be bad at sex, Hollywood myths about how sex should look, and ALL the ways to communicate with the folks we're fucking so that we can all be more successful in the sack. Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Resources discussed in this episode "Radical Ecstasy" by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton "Cyber Infidelity" by Dr. Eve SpareParts Joque harness - want one? I sell them. Contact me for details. Ruby Ryder, pegging expert Sex after rape. There's a great article here and here. About Dawn Serra For those of you who have listened for awhile, you know more about my sex life than most people know about their partners, but I figured it was time for a little bio action. First, you can check out my sex & relationship coaching

This week's chat is one of my favorites. Andre Shakti is an absolute delight. The first time I saw her in person at Sex Down South last year, I was in complete awe. She is this vibrant, powerful force to be reckoned with, and when she said she'd come on the show I was completely tickled. We dive into sex work, fetish wrestling, porn, and more. One of the things she mentions during our chat is how we do not have any resources in the world on how to be a good consumer of sex work or of porn. She draws an parallel between Julia Roberts and porn performers that is fantastic. Plus, we talk about the importance of letting go of goals in sex and instead, getting to know your body and celebrating what it's capable of, instead of obsessing over what you wish it could do.  Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episode Violet Blue and TinyNibbles.com - resources on ethically produced pornography About Andre Shakti An

Body positivity is something I constantly bring up on the show - not only because it's an important part of my own story, but because I'm constantly getting questions from listeners about their own body shame and struggles. That's why I am so excited by this unapologetic and energizing look into pole dancing and burlesque with Kaila Prins. Not only did she use both to help her work through an eating disorder, but she has also discovered what it means to be embodied and to live in a deeply consensual place, as a result. From controlling the gaze of the audience to sharing what it's like to get naked on stage for the first time, we roll around in gender, safe spaces, embracing 'ugly' as a by-product of feeling empowered and attuned to your body, and so so much more. Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episode Stripcast: True Stories of a Stripper with a PhD by Lux ATL. About Kaila Prins I’m a drag queen tr

A listener question sent me on a quest to find some folks who could share their coming out stories, specifically cis men, and that quest led me to TT Baum. Several colleagues had the most amazing things to say about him, and when we finally connected, I adored his calm energy and beautiful openness. This episode has so many tender moments - from his coming out story to his thoughts on sex education for youth to his journey to becoming a sacred intimate. I wanted to listen to him talk for hours. So, settle in and get ready for a great chat with TT Baum. Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episode Bondassage The Body Electric School About TT Baum TTBaum is a Sacred Intimate and Sex Educator based in San Francisco. He has been dubbed a pleasure activist and a warrior of love. TT’s path to sexual awakening began over a decade ago. He has refined a powerful style of erotic facilitation that integrates his own

Trigger warning: talk of suicide From the early days of queer porn to managing sex positive feminist shops to getting internet famous for her epic orgasm quest, Crista Anne - the rainbowiest of rainbow people - joins the show this week. One of the things I've admired about Crista Anne for so long is her fierce, unapologetic approach to sharing her own struggles. She doesn't hide behind the internet and try to craft a perfect image. Her vulnerability and courage when it comes to her struggles with orgasm and depression caught my attention a while back, and I'm excited she's bringing that spirit to the show this week. Plus, some of THE funniest quotes we've had on the show in a while. Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episode Goodvibes Tantus toys About Crista Anne Crista Anne is a rainbow colored pleasure revolutionary whose work focuses on starting conversations and busting stigmas surrounding the inte

Are you ready for a mastery level version of Sex Gets Real? Good. Because this week, Sarah Mueller from Smitten Kitten joins the show to share her research on lube, as well as her findings around herpes and STIs. Did you know some lubes (like KY) actually INCREASE the likelihood of STI transmission because the lube damages your genital tissue? And why does silicone lube damage silicone toys but condoms filled with silicone lube don't? We also field a question from a listener about bacterial vaginosis, which takes us down the rabbit hole of just how little the medical community knows about this condition as well as STI diagnoses. This is an episode you'll want to listen to more than once because the information is so damn important. Settle in and prepare yourself! Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episode Ella Dawson's amazing TED Talk about STIs is a must see. The Smitten Kitten carries most of the lub

JoEllen Notte is a sex educator powerhouse - she is revolutionizing the discussion about sex and depression, and also has a beautiful blog all about sex positivity, sex toys, and introversion. She recently reached out to me and asked if she could come on the show to talk about sex positivity versus sex performativity. Or, as we discuss in this episode, the way sex positive folks often exclude people by their actions and behaviors in a way that makes spaces feel unsafe. Sex positivity has been an incredible response to our sex negative culture, but it's also just that - a response to the existing paradigm. Not everyone wants to have all the orgies or flirt all of the time, and that gets overlooked a lot. So in this episode, JoEllen and I have a really frank discussion about some of the ways sex positive communities are failing us, and then we field two listener questions about using inclusive language and not being a creep at sex toy stores when you have questions about sex. Don't forget: I just revamped my on

Elle Chase joins the show this week, and it is such an incredible discussion. LadyCheeky, Elle's very famous Tumblr, is a resource that I mention regularly on this show. Lady Cheeky is not about getting off, but rather about getting aroused and sitting in those erotic experiences a little longer, savoring the sensual. We dive into the back story that brought her to this point with a world-renowned porn site. This episode is all about fat sex, fat bodies, and finding your own way to pleasure. Elle's approach to embodied consent is glorious, and her advice to a listener who can't orgasm without a vibrator is definitely worth a listen. Don't forget: Dawn just revamped her one-on-one coaching packages and spots are filling up. If you need some help around sex, your relationship, and connecting with a loved one, you can check out her programs over on DawnSerra.com.  About Elle Chase: Sex educator and sexuality and body image coach Elle Chase, is a graduate of the comprehensive San Francisco Sex Information, Sex Ed

Because it was such a huge week, I wanted to spend a little quality time with you. Despite having so many incredible interviews lined up and ready to go, I really wanted to field a few terrific emails and get cozy with you. Oh, and be sure to pop over to Kickstarter to check out the new sex game Weapons of Mass Seduction. It looks awesome and inclusive. In this episode, Dawn: Answers a question from Britt about wanting to toss her husband's salad (aka analingus) but being afraid of poop in her mouth. What can she do? Shares a little confession after audiophile wrote in commenting on some sound issues. Helps a vegan pain slut to track down some delicious and kinky retailers in the U.K. for cruetly-free BDSM gear like floggers, whips, and crops. (Links to all the sites mentioned are down below.) Rolls around in a sweet and vulnerable question from a young listener named DonkeyPunch about his fear that he isn't good enough for his girlfriend, despite her assurance that he is. It's all about trust, vulnerability

Masturbation May. Just a few days left to pop over to our exclusive sale with podcast-approved toys. Treat yourself to something deliciously naughty. Showtime's new late-night show, Submission, is all about BDSM. We follow Ashley, a woman coming out of yet another sexually unsatisfying relationship, as she begins to explore her desire in the realm of power exchange and BDSM. Written and directed by Jacky St. James, who has taken the feminist porn world by storm, the show offers us a more complex, empowered, dynamic, and accurate look into the world of pleasure, pain, psychological play, and more. On this very special episode of Sex Gets Real, I sit down and chat with Jacky St. James and the show's lead actor, Ashlynn Yennie. We talk about how the show came to be, what it was like for porn director Jacky to shoot a mainstream show about sex, and how Ashlynn jumped into this world without any prior experience in kink. It's hot, and it's about to get even hotter. Submission airs Thursdays at 11pm ET on Showtime

Masturbation May. Have you gotten yours on yet? If not, pop over to our exclusive sale with podcast-approved toys and treat yourself to something deliciously naughty. This week, August McLaughlin shares a little about her battle with anorexia and body dysmorphia, plus how that led her to creating Girl Boner. We also field some wonderful questions from listeners on the way our bodies and genitals look, plus struggling with orgasms. In this episode, August and I: Laugh and cringe over the sad state of sex education in the United States. Rarely is pleasure ever mentioned to young people, but if it is, it's usually reserved for folks with a penis, while the only info we get about vulvas is that they have cramps and periods. Explore August's eating disorder and body dysmorphia and how that led her to heal her relationship with her sexuality. Dig into the importance of letting go of shame around our shame. How can we confront our own stories and beliefs to lead a more empowered and authentic life rather than the o

Masturbation May. Have you gotten yours on yet? If not, pop over to our exclusive sale with podcast-approved toys and treat yourself to something deliciously naughty. Nadine Thornhill is someone I admire greatly. Not only was she part of the Explore More Summit, but her approach to parenting and talking to kids about sex is revolutionary. And this week, we're going deep into consent, kids, teens, being a parent, talking about porn, and much more. I truly believe that future generations will be so much more consent informed and emotionally intelligent because of work like Nadine's. If all of us are better able to express ourselves and receive rejection gracefully, we'd have drastically healthier relationships and sex for it. You can find Nadine at NadineThornhill.com. She's also on Twitter @NadineThornhill and YouTube with awesome videos.  Resources discussed in this episode: Cindy Gallop's Make Love Not Porn website and TED Talk "Red: A Crayon Story" - a children's book on being different (Nadine referenced

Masturbation May is in full swing, so pop over to our exclusive sale with podcast-approved toys and treat yourself to something deliciously naughty. Victoria Rosa, from Open and Awesome, joins us this week. She shares stories from her journey with tantra and sacred spot massage. Then we dive into listener questions. First up, a listener shares that her husband is horrible at oral sex and yet he thinks he is god's gift to her pussy. What can she do when he doesn't take direction well? Orgasmically Challenged also needs help. Her sweet boyfriend cums before she orgasms and she is getting super frustrated. Between their anxieties and shyness, is the relationship doomed? Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show: Contact form: Click here

MASTURBATION MAY is here! And we are celebrating with an exclusive Sex Gets Real sale: njoy, Magic Wand, Lelo, Sliquid. Check it out now. Only happening for the month of May. Comedian and 4-Play Baltimore host, Prescott Gaylord, joins us for a second HIQI. Listener Dannyle wants to know how to talk to the guy she's dating about the fact that she can't orgasm from partnered sex. She cums on her own, but when she's with someone else, it just doesn't happen. How can she share that without turning it into a challenge? Then, Stage Fright, a listener who has been in a friends with benefits situation for 12 years, wants to know being in a FWB for that long is normal. Dawn still has spots available for one-on-one sex and relationship coaching, so if you're interested pop over to her site to find out more. Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show: Contact form: Click here

From BDSM to broken penises, from virgin stories to rope bondage. It's a packed week. Dawn has some new client openings for sex and relationship coaching. Want to check it out? Pop over to her coaching page and jump on it ASAP. This week is full of juicy questions. One listener reveals he has a broken penis and after being shamed by a few partners, needs help getting over the fear. How can he embrace his penis? Another listener is eager to try rope bondage and wants stories from Dawn, plus resources on how to safely get started. A virgin is super excited to write in with her first juicy story, even if it wasn't ideal. Also, where can you find BDSM conferences like the ones Dawn always goes to? Oh, and one listeners received a prostate massage from two massage professionals that ended in orgasm, and how his wife feels like he cheated. What can he do? Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show: Contact form: Click here

Dawn woke up feeling like she wanted an intimate chat with you. There's also a follow-up from a listener who wrote in recently about sex with vibrators. Plus, a 20-year-old virgin just got her first vibrator and wants help on working on internal orgasms. A mom also has some thoughts on safer sex kits for college kids. There are a few free replays from the Explore More Summit this week, so check it out at http://exploremoresummit.com. You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us Contact form: Click here