Poorly Summarized

Team Trump issues a flawed St. Patrick's Day hat, a new Texas bill seeks to curb men's superfluous emissions, the US Army doesn't work for the 'brother of ISIS' anymore, the Jawzrsize promises to strengthen your jawline, and Rachel Sussman takes kintsugi to the streets of New York. Special Guest: Joe Sondow.

Sean Spicer fails at Twitter, porn star gives up adult filmmaking to become a pastor, flag desecration laws are unconstitutional, theater refuses to show 'Beauty and the Beast' over alleged 'gay moment', and Jimenez Lai draws cartoon buildings in section.

Pence gets in trouble for conducting publics business with his personal AOL account, PwC botches the Oscars finale, an image depicting 'the future that liberals want' goes viral, a disgruntled Texas family writes an honest obituary, Mike eulogizes his father, and a fastidious sculptor carves the growth rings out of trees. Special Guest: Ahmad Philips.

Thousands protest Trump's immigration policy on 'A Day without Immigrants', an enterprising chiropractor patents labia glue as tampon alternative, Norman Rockwell paintings might be subliminal erotica, frozen hair selfies are sweeping the Yukon, a photographer captures New York Times covers, and Mike picks up a new habit. Special Guest: Margaret Dodge.

Mike discovers cappuccino, Donald Trump surveys the public about the media's credibility, Wolf Blitzer makes un-funny jokes about tragic murder, Utah Republican enumerates the unintended consequences of equal pay laws, 74-year-old man gets entire church high on weed cookies, website tracks space junk. Special Guest: Seán McGuire.

The TSA tries to catch obvious terrorists, science identifies the serial killer pattern, a meme depicts the bible's teachings about immigration, MIT explores the morality of murderous self-driving cars, and Russian garbage becomes art. Special Guest: Jonathan Nadel.

The crew takes a moment of silence for the Bowling Green massacre, an elderly woman licks eyeballs for money, UC Berkeley students protest a troll, scientists create a human-pig hybrid, and a Dutch artist creates a new "species". SHOW NOTES Trumped up “Forget about religion” Bowling Green massacre “Pray for Arnold” “Fear of Muslims is RATIONAL” Stupid Shit UC Berkeley and Nazis Weekly Stories Elderly woman licks eyeballs Human-pig hybrid Eye Candy Wind powered machines   Special Guests: Sarah Rice and Susie Meister.

Sean Spicer goes ham on Dippin‘ Dots, Richard Spencer takes one in the jaw, Mike explains the inherent sexism of chivalry, inventors streamline bacon cooking, and Joey considers in-skull mechanical locusts! SHOW NOTES Follow-up 65 foot Snow Corridor in Japan Trumped up Sean Spicer Tweets passwords Sean Spicer hates Dippin’ Dots Trump uses private gmail account ‘Ungrateful traitor’ Stupid Shit Stop male oppression! Weekly Stories Richard Spencer gets punched in the face Richard Spencer debate Bacon toaster Eye Candy Anatomical wire sculptures Special Guest: Joey Alison Sayers.

Maryland public school social media coordinator gets fired for an educational tweet gone viral, Mike explains the “contradiction” between climate change and a snowball, and Steve presents 2016’s most offensive British advertisements. SHOW NOTES   Trumped up Trump quotes Bane Trump in a 1950s western QVC on the White House website Trump uses Obama inauguration photo on Twitter Stupid Shit A slight misunderstanding of global warming Public school worker gets fired for funny tweet The UK’s most complained about ads of 2016 Eye Candy Humurous street art  Special Guest: Steve O'Neill.

Trump vociferously denies his alleged ties to Russia, TV anchor tells Alexa to buy thousands of doll houses, a badly designed meme equates teen sex and soda, a middle-aged man with an RV seeks a youthful companion, and Walead Beshty is probably laundering money.     SHOW NOTES Trumped up “NOTHING TO DO WITH RUSSIA” “UTTER NONSENSE” “Are we living in Nazi Germany?” “I would do very, very well in Nazi Germany.” Stupid Shit Sex and soda “Alexa, order me a dollhouse” VIP weekend Eye Candy Shattered sculptures  Special Guest: Jeremy McLellan.

A stoner prankster changes the Hollywood sign, teenage Justin visits a psychiatrist, thousands move to Edmonton to stare into a philanderer’s steely blue eyes, Jeff considers the Cult of Crossfit, Mike brags about his hypothetical pranks, artists design a non-billboard.     SHOW NOTES Introduction @mtrushmorepod on Twitter mtrushmorepodcast.com Trumped up Office of Government Ethics tweets at Trump John Bolton mustache snub Ratings diss Trump makes a rare Twitter mistake Stupid Shit Therapy is for the weak Hollyweed Staring Cult Eye Candy Non sign   Special Guest: Jeff Hopkins.

Trump coins the word ‘unpresidented,’ an elderly woman freezes inside a locked car, Christina Sommers declares her fix for the gender wage gap, Lindsay forgets she’s on camera, Facebook starts flagging fake news, and a cement mixer turns nocturnal disco ball.     Trumped up 25% Trump family “An unidentified man” “Unpresidented act” “Let them keep it” Stupid Shit Feminist dance therapy Frozen woman trapped in a car Facebook and fake news Eye Candy Cement truck disco ball   Special Guest: Lindsay Goldwert.

Justin defends male Santa, Vanessa Otero (patent attorney) proposes a truthiness chart, ‘my flag’ makes the list of 6 Things You Don’t Mess with, VW owners maximize sellback opportunity, José López creates impossible stone taffy, Mike receives a flattering proposition.     SHOW NOTES Introduction Adam’s writing at Whiteboard Fiction Grub Adam on Twitter Trumped up “Scare the bejesus out of the Kremlin.” “Kick the can down the road” “Basking in the glow of victory” Trump promises a press conference Stupid Shit All the things you can’t mess with Truthiness Scale http://www.marketwatch.com/story/how-does-your-favorite-news-source-rate-on-the-truthiness-scale-consult-this-chart-2016-12-15 VW settlement http://bgr.com/2016/12/13/vw-settlement-cars-update/amp/ Eye Candy Twisted stone art   Special Guest: Adam Christopher.

Catwoman arrested for slashing boyfriend with scissors during fight, racist meme delineates between old-school gangster and modern-day thug, Sofia Vergara gets sued by her own embryos, Simon considers emotional prostitution, and scientist discovers feathery dinosaur tail in amber.     SHOW NOTES Introduction Various Breads and Butters on Facebook Various Breads and Butters on Twitter Various Breads and Butters website Trumped up Trump praises Duterte  “Only the crooked media makes this a big deal” “It could have been something off the internet.” “I’m, like, a smart person” Stupid Shit Another racist meme Headline of the week ‘Catwoman’ arrested for slashing boyfriend with scissors during fight Poorly Summarized science Sofia Vergara being sued by her own embroyos Eye Candy Dinosaur tail preserved in amber Special Guests: Benjamin R. Cohen and Simon Tonev.

Mall of America hires a black Santa, Austin reports on his voyage among the ‘Flat Earthers in Christ’ Facebook group, ‘suicide bomber’ squirrel hospitalizes Chicago politician who spoke out against squirrels, Mike wants a Yosegi box for Christmas.     SHOW NOTES Introduction Austin on Facebook Trumped up Trump and Air Force One Newt discusses Celebrity Apprentice A recent survey “I told you what the hell do you have to lose?” Stupid Shit Flat Earthers in Christ War On Christmas Black Santa Headline of the week ‘Suicide bomber’ squirrel hospitalizes Chicago politician who spoke out against squirrels Eye Candy Yosegi Homemade toaster    Special Guest: Austin Baird.

Mitt and Donald go to dinner, Michaels shopper loses her mind over bags, Justin is solicited by an interrupting astrologist, Kael and John discuss their first favorite songs, Japanese theme park regrets dead fish ice skating rink.     SHOW NOTES   Introduction Faded Paper Figures on Facebook Faded Paper Figures on Twitter www.fadedpaperfigures.com Follow-up Airbag helmet Trumped up Global warming is “a bunch of bunk” “Like old times” Hillary Clinton’s proposal to ban flag burning Kellyanne Conway goes rogue Stupid Shit Seat belts are for the weak Crazy Trump supporter Michaels meltdown Pete’s Coffee meltdown Ice rink of death Swimming with the fishes Eye Candy A drawing 3.5 years in the making Special Guests: Kael Alden and R. John Wiliams.

‘Post-truth’ is Oxford Dictionary’s 2016 ‘Word of the Year,’ transabled woman yearns to lose feeling in her leg, fashion designers refuse to offer their services to Melania Trump, and Mike tempts fate by riding a four-wheeler without a helmet.     SHOW NOTES Introduction www.brainunraveled.com Brain Unraveled Facebook page Follow-up Muppet definition Trumped up A family business Accidental leak of first-year plan “The president can’t have a conflict of interest” CNN in the fake news business Word of the year Post-truth Stupid shit False equivalence Is this a thing? Paralyze me Eye Candy Foldable paper cycling helmet   Special Guest: Giulio Anichini.

Trump becomes harder to parody, drivers in China put scary reflective decals in their rear windows, 2016 may be the year to safely say ‘Merry Christmas’ again, edible beetle larvae deliver as much iron to the body as beef, and Shozo Hayama finds faces in rocks.     SHOW NOTES   Introduction Mt Rushmore Podcast on Twitter www.mtrushmorepodcast.com Follow-up Mark Zuckerberg doesn’t believe fake news is significant enough to matter Trumped up Trump denies science “The police are the most mistreated people in this country” Trump thinks Rachel Maddow is not attractive Steve Bannon admires Satan Is this a thing? Terrifying reflective decals Stupid shit “Merry Christmas” is the new safe space Poorly Summarized science Edible insects with more iron than beef Eye Candy Japanese museum of rocks that look like faces

A heartbroken mom happens upon the Clintons in the woods, Trump supporters revise their stance on dissent, Facebook promises to show you less fake news, and Mike loses money on a wager. SHOW NOTES Trumped up Racist group threatens U Penn students “I have a lot of first priorities” Trump hates the electoral college Trump compares gay marriage to golf putters Don’t start believing Heartbroken mom bumps into Hillary during a hike Stupid shit Only founding fathers can protest Poorly Summarized news Facebook promises to purge misinformation from your News Feed Eye Candy Translucent figurative sculpture   Special Guest: Darren Husted.

Starbucks releases an anti-Christmas coffee cup, Tim Kaine’s positive demeanor gets on Mike’s nerves, Scott passes on the office of POTUS, Sarma Melngailis becomes a runaway fugitive, and the guys consider expensive skeleton art exhibitions as an alternative to burial or cremation. SHOW NOTES   Introduction MindThunder Radio’s almost entirely inactive Twitter account  Follow-up Fact checking Trump’s voter fraud claims BYU does the right thing with amnesty Trumped up “Watch” the polls Levi Quackenboss and Trump Trump crashes child HIV event without donating Trump and Kathy Lee Gifford War on Christmas Starbucks loves terrorism and hates Christmas Stupid Shit It appears that hating Tim Kaine is a thing Wait What? How the Queen of vegan cuisine became a runaway fugitive Eye Candy Graphite skeleton that draws itself into nothingness Special Guest: Scott Hofmeister.