Mental Health Today

What goes on in the mind of a successful entrepreneur? What makes one entrepreneur successful and another not? Find out in this episode.  Ahh, the life of an entrepreneur...  The sweet life of making lots of money without working very hard. Sit back and relax, and take 10 vacations this year.   Umm, maybe, maybe not.   Are you an entrepreneur?    Here's my definition of an entrepreneur.   Someone who is willing to take a risk in order to make money, possibly a living, doing what he or she is passionate about.   Is that you? Maybe you are just starting out, or just dreaming of that day when you start, or maybe you're a seasoned pro and you are living the life right now.   Have you ever wondered what it takes to become an entrepreneur? To keep going when it's hard, to not get a big head when things go well.   If you're listening to this episode you are probably somewhere on the entrepreneurship spectrum. From just thinking about it, to dabbling in it, to an advanced pro.   But one thing that we

What do you truly want in life?   We all have dreams and aspirations. We all want to be successful. We all want to be happy.   But not everyone has their dreams come true.   Not everyone is successful.   Not everyone is happy.    What is it that you want in life? What one thing comes to your mind?  Better health/ mental health Family Better marriage Relationships Finances to pay your bills Own your own business Imagine for a moment - what if that dream came true? How would it change your life?   What's keeping you from truly living the life you want?  Fear, anxiety, depression?  Overcoming the mental barriers that will help you achieve what you desire.    Learn more about John at www.johncordray.com Smells Like Humans Like listening to funny friends discuss curious human behavior. Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Support the showRate the show: If you enjoyed this episode, please consider providing an honest rating of the show here www.mentalhealthtodayshow.com/reviews/new . Disclaimer: The Mental He

Whether you have experienced depression yourself, or you know someone who is struggling with it, we are all affected by depression. Amazingly, according to NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), as many as 8% of American adults have experienced major depression at some point in their lives, and women are twice as likely to be depressed. That's a lot of people affected by depression. Sadly, as a therapist, I see many children who are affected by depression as well. What does this say about our culture and society? There are a lot of very sad and emotionally distressed people who are hurting out, and chances are you're one of them. Are you affected by depression? Depression is not just simply feeling blue or "down-in-the-dumps", although someone affected by depression can start out that way. True depression takes over a person's mind and body and often prevents them from doing normal day-to-day activities. Feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, numbness, brokenness, and loneliness o

Note: This episode is from an article that I wrote and was originally published in the Huffington Post on May 12, 2015. Superheroes have a special place in my heart. I grew up fascinated by Stan Lee @TheRealStanLee and his creations in the Marvel comic world. There’s just something about the message of hope and goodwill that superheroes convey that’s so appealing to me. We all have superheroes. I’m not referring to Ironman, Superman, Spiderman, or Wonder Woman. I’m referring to people in our lives whom we look up to, who mean the world to us. The grandparent who always made you laugh, the aunt or uncle who always made time to sit with you and just talk about life, the best friend who was always there, the parent who always made you feel better. We all have superheroes who make a big impact on our lives. I have had many superheroes in my life. My grandpa taught me how to fish, one of my closest friends in college who always shared a laugh, and of course, my dog. Hey, dogs can be superheroes, too, you know

So, your marriage isn't doing that great. Is the fighting getting worse? Can't seem to talk to each other without throwing word "daggers" at each other? Have you asked yourself a thousand times how your marriage got to be like this? Well, you're not alone. In fact, according to research, there are more couples in your situation than you may realize. As a marriage therapist, I have witnessed some of the most hurtful and angry arguments in my office. Sometimes I'm part referee, part therapist. But, over the years, and within my own marriage of over 20 years, I have seen the wonders of this one simple rule help dissolve hostilities and repair wounds. I have also come to realize that many of the heated fights that couples have escalated into outright boxing matches because one or both couples are unwilling to try to resolve the argument. Many times the original context of the conflict is forgotten but ends with hurt and pain due to the escalating emotions. Because of the many layers

Learning this one simple parenting tip could help you reach your child. Listen as John walks parents through what they need to stop doing and what they need to start doing.  There's no such thing as a perfect parent, but if you can start parenting with this one simple "tweak" in your parenting you'll start noticing a difference in your child. Parents, stop bickering with your kids. Don't try to negotiate with a strong-willed child - it won't work. And for Pete's sake, never jump to conclusions that your child is trying to manipulate you. If your parenting style mimics these techniques please stop right now and reevaluate how you parent. Please don't misunderstand my admonishment - I'm not saying you are a bad parent. On the contrary, I assume you are a great parent who just needs a little guidance on how to handle your difficult child. As a therapist, John reminds parents that if they want to get through to their child they need to reach their heart first - before addressin

Bickering, yelling, screaming, defending, hurting, blaming, criticizing, belittling, one-upping, put-downs, the silent treatment, fleeing, slamming doors, throwing things, breaking things, crying, threatening, giving ultimatums, blackmailing, deceiving, manipulating...  All of these ways of communicating in the midst of a conflict will destroy or at least will damage a relationship.  The clients I see in my office for marriage or relationship counseling have been guilty of saying or doing some of the things I just listed. And I bet you have too.  How we communicate with others is so important, yet it's often neglected. You and I must be able to know how to communicate our feelings the right way if we want to resolve the conflicts that we find ourselves in.  This brings me to the 4 styles of communication: Aggressive, Passive, Passive-aggressive, and Assertive. John talks about all four styles of communication, and which one is the healthiest style. Learn more about John at www.johncordray.com Smell

Men, you have a hard time admitting you need help, right? Even when it comes to asking for directions.  I get it. I have a hard time asking for directions too, but as a man and a therapist, I want to encourage you to at least consider talking to a therapist. In this episode, I talk about the 10 reasons why men refuse to seek help. Ten Reasons Why Men Refuse to Seek Therapy: Shame. He might appear weak. Downplay. He thinks his problem really isn't that big of a deal. Private. He doesn't want anyone to know his problems. Defiance. He doesn't want anyone to tell him he's wrong. Narcissistic. He thinks he is better than others. Avoidance. He doesn't want to dig up the past. Embarrassment. He's concerned about what others will think. Toughness. He has been told all their life that "boys don't cry".  He doesn't want to reveal weakness. Martyrdom. He feels like he deserves what happened to him. Guilt. He thinks it was his fault in the first place. To find learn more about emot

We all have had secrets at some point in our lives, but some of you are holding onto a BIG secret that has been weighing you down. Is that you? Are you holding onto a deep secret, perhaps for years? If so, this episode is just for you. Learn why keeping secrets is not a good idea and how it can actually make you a prisoner of your own thoughts. Negative feelings such as guilt, shame, and embarrassment can keep you from exposing your secret, but in the long run, keeping that secret to yourself may be the worst thing you can do. Find out why in this episode of The John Cordray Show.   Top 3 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Keep Secrets: 1. Secrets can be harmful to your health 2. Secrets will isolate you 3. Secrets will keep you from true freedom   The counselor and author John mentioned in this episode: Ed Welch I've Got A Secret (about keeping secrets within a marriage)   Find more at www.johncordray.com   I would love it if you followed me on Twitter @JohnPCordray   Smells Like Humans Like listening to

Are you struggling with social anxiety? If so, you’re not alone. According to the Social Anxiety Disorder Association, social phobia is the third largest mental health issue in the entire world - about 7% of the world's population! Social anxiety can affect all people regardless of age, gender, or ethnicity. It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, well-educated or under-educated. And yet, one of the worst things about social anxiety is that it’s invisible. How can you fight against something that you can’t even see? In this episode of The John Cordray Show, we’ll talk about the challenges of dealing with social anxiety, and how you can start to fight back. John Cordray is a Licensed Therapist and National Certified Counselor, and he’ll offer advice and tips to help you manage your anxiety, so you can start to feel better. John will talk about how to identify the signs of social anxiety, and how to start building up the courage to take on the challenges that come with it. He’ll offer practical advice

Do you have an inner critic? That voice in your head that condemns just about everything you do when you make a mistake - blaming, criticizing, and belittling your every thought and action? The negative thought cycle goes around and around, leaving you feeling discouraged and defeated. You become your worst enemy. It's time to stop calling yourself names and tearing yourself down. The inner critic often causes people to isolate themselves and withdraw from just about everything and everyone. If this happens to you it's time to start kicking your inner critic's butt. It will be a battle between your inner critic and your inner coach. An inner coach is an encouraging voice in your head that refuses to listen to the negative talk of the inner critic. How to Kick Your Inner Critic's Butt: Draw a large "T" in the middle of a piece of paper. On the left side write down all of your negative thoughts and feelings. On the right side write down the truth and evidence that counters your negative

When it comes to following through on good intentions, it can be even harder for someone with ADHD. We all have moments when getting sidetracked can be all too easy, but when you have ADHD, you may find yourself struggling to focus and stay on track, no matter how hard you try. Organization and deadlines can be a nightmare for someone with ADHD, as the brain is wired to take in so much information and can struggle to prioritize tasks and stay organized. The problem is, if you don’t have a plan of action and a system to follow, it can become difficult to focus and make progress. But with the right mindset and daily practice, anyone can learn how to stay organized and on task - even someone with ADHD. It’s a matter of understanding what is needed to stay focused, making a plan, and setting realistic goals to help you stay on track. The key is to break down tasks into smaller, more manageable chunks, create a schedule to keep track of deadlines and make sure to set yourself reminders. It may sound simple, but

In this episode, John talks about how to have extremely healthy communication in relationships. Learn what to do the next time you get into an argument. Want to be a rockstar in your relationship? Learn how to have healthy communication. Most couples need guidance on how to have healthy communication and John lays out the rule rules that will take your relationship to the next level. Listen to this episode more than once to learn what you need to change in your communication. 4 Rules of Extremely Healthy Communication: Rule #1: Listen first, speak second, and listen last. Make sure you watch your tone of voice, the level of your voice, and the intent of your voice. Rule #2: Don't jump to conclusions. Get your evidence before you make a conclusion. Ask your partner if what you are thinking is accurate. Rule #3: Show empathy before pride. Put your partner first, then yourself in a conflict. Rule #4: Forgive, release, resolve. Ask and extend forgiveness. Release your anger and resentment. Resolve your confli

In this episode of the JCS, John talks to Chez Barbosa from True Vine Counseling about finding your identity after a life crisis. Many times people who experience a major life crisis such as a divorce, a death of a loved one, a job loss, or a move to a new city, can have a crisis of identity. Questions like, "Who am I?" "What is my purpose?" or even questioning one's very existence can cause a downward spiral of depression and loneliness. Chez also shares his life story and how he helps individuals overcome an identity crisis and how he became a counselor.  In addition to being a counselor, Chez is a licensed pastor and works part-time as a worship pastor. Chez has been counseling since 2007, helping individuals discover their true identities. If you are interested in contacting Chez Barbosa you can reach out to him in the following ways: Website: True Vine Counseling Twitter:  @ChezBarbosa Email:    chez@truevinecounseling.com   Learn more about me at johncordray.com   Smells Like Humans

Health insurance is expensive and it makes sense to use your insurance for your next counseling session, but before you do, keep listening about why you may want to reconsider using your insurance for counseling. As a licensed therapist, I see clients who use their insurance to help cover their sessions with me, but I have more clients who don't use their insurance. Reasons to use your insurance: It could help supplement the cost of a counseling session. But, don't forget about your deductible. 3 Reasons Why You May Want to Reconsider Using Insurance for counseling: Your insurance plan may not cover mental health counseling. Your insurance company requires a mental health diagnosis code. (you may not have a mental health diagnosis) Your mental health diagnosis will go on your medical record. Alternatives to Using Insurance: Pay out of pocket (easiest) Use an HSA account (if you have one) Sliding scale Advance Payment (could be cheaper in the long run) Payment plan (check with your therapist)   Learn m

If you’re like most people, you’ve probably experienced negative thoughts at one point or another. It can be difficult to stay positive and look on the bright side when life throws you a curveball.  It’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of negative thinking which can affect our well-being and how we see the world. It can be overwhelming when life throws us a curveball, but by reframing our negative thinking, we can take control and move forward with a positive attitude.  Whether you’re dealing with a difficult situation or just want to focus on the good in life, he’ll show you five steps to help you shift your perspective and mindset.  Step 1: Find a quiet place to process your thoughts.  One of the most important steps in reframing your negative thinking is to give yourself the time and space to process your thoughts without distractions. When we’re overwhelmed by our thoughts, it can be difficult to focus. Step 2: Identify your negative thought cycle. When it comes to reframing our negative thinking, it’s

Panic attacks can be absolutely terrifying experiences that many people mistakenly assume are heart attacks. It's not uncommon to experience racing heartbeats, feeling sweaty, chest tightening, and feeling light-headed. These are all indicators of a panic attack and can take a toll on your work, school, and day-to-day life.  When it comes to managing panic attacks, there are many different approaches and treatments available. But one of the most reliable sources of information and advice comes from John Cordray, a licensed therapist who has helped many individuals manage their panic attacks. In this episode, John shares his 6 tools for calming panic attacks. He explains how these tools can help you identify when an attack is coming, recognize the physical sensations associated with a panic attack, and learn how to address and respond to the symptoms.  1. Recognizing the physical signs of a panic attack—including racing heartbeats, sweating, chest tightening, and feeling light-headed.  2. Breathing exe

Karen Tripp is the founder and president of Cancer Companions, a ministry that provides Christian support to families affected by cancer. As a Marriage and Family Therapist and a daughter of a colon cancer survivor, Karen brings a unique perspective to the work of Cancer Companions. Cancer can be incredibly isolating, and Cancer Companions aims to bridge the gap between those battling cancer and their Christian communities. Through her organization, Karen Tripp is helping to ensure that those grappling with cancer have access to the faith-based support they need. Cancer Companions has trained over 400 volunteers in support group facilitation and peer-to-peer meetings. The organization’s goal is to ensure that no cancer patient feels alone or unsupported. Karen and her team of volunteers provide a safe and accepting space for cancer patients and their families to share their stories and build a sense of community. Karen is also a published author, having written God is Bigger Than Your Cancer, a book that d

Are you and your spouse feeling like your marriage is on the rocks? Does it feel like you two are constantly fighting? Many couples find themselves in this situation and can feel like there's no way out.  In this episode, I provide 10 insights for failing marriages that can help you and your partner fix things and get back on track.  1. It's more important to resolve a conflict than to win it. Instead of focusing on who's right or wrong, try to find a middle ground where both parties can be happy.  2. It takes two to be in a conflict, but only one to end it. If your spouse is getting angry, try to be the bigger person and take a step back.  3. Learn to let go of things from the past. Holding onto past grievances and refusing to forgive can be a big problem for many couples.  4. Be quick to listen and slow to become angry. This is a key step in any successful relationship. Instead of immediately talking over your spouse and becoming angry, take the time to listen to what they have to say.  5.

Anxiety is a normal emotion that we all experience at some point in our lives. It can help us to stay safe and alert in times of danger and to keep us from making reckless decisions. But, when it is too strong, it can make us feel unsafe. I talk about different types of anxiety such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD), Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Specific Phobias and Acute Stress Disorder (ASD). Each of these conditions can affect us in different ways and if we are experiencing any of these, it is important to seek help. If you are struggling with high levels of anxiety, there are several things you can do to help. Firstly, it is important to understand the causes of your anxiety. This can be done through counseling or therapy sessions, or by speaking to a doctor. Once the cause is identified, it is important to develop a plan to manage it. This could involve relaxation techniq