Heartfelt Marriage

Zany people are the kind of people you like the most. In this edition of Dr. Ross's Life-Lifting Words, he discusses this fun word and in the process encourages all of us to drop the pretenses and be the kind of person others like to be around - be zany!  

Everyone’s looking for the good life! And YOU can have it! Here’s what you need:  Education, information, conversation, observation, participation, determination and one more! To find out the “one more,” take a few minutes (less than eight) and listen to this podcast! You want to find the good life, right?

One guy bragged to his friend that he was able to get out of his marriage without the use of an attorney! He told how he and his “Ex” were able to settle things by using a mediator, and that saved him a lot of money! In this brief (five-minute) podcast, Dr. Ross speculates why their marriage ended – both funny and tragic possibilities. You’ll like his conclusion and suggestion as to what you can do to create, maintain, and enjoy a mutually satisfying, emotionally healthy, till’ death-do-us-part kind of marriage.

Dr. Ross has prepared for you a checklist that reveals a variety of clues that your marriage relationship is growing, flowing, and glowing! Use it to self-check your progress toward the happy marriage you dream of! Dr. Ross believes you can have a healthy, long-lasting marriage. Listen to Dr. Ross briefly discuss each item in Heartfelt Marriage Podcast 094.  

Romance is alive and well, according to Dr. Ross! In this podcast, he takes the word ROMANCE and shares what romance (courtship, flirtation, and passion) is all about and how it creates spark in your marriage relationship.  He says, “Romance is a gift to your beloved, expressed in the loving ways you treat each other day-by-day. Love is what gets you through the long pull of the frequently changing physical, emotional, and spiritual issues of a lifetime together.” Does that sound like what you want in your marriage? Listen to the podcast WITH your lover and who knows what good things might happen! The podcast is 8 minutes long.

From Dr. Ross: In the previous podcast, I started a series titled “How Good Can Our Marriage Be?” Part one was supposed to be this: “Your marriage is a place where love-hungry hearts can be filled.” The problem is, I started writing it and realized it was essential to the entire series. I found it impossible to deal with the love-hungry hearts theme in only one podcast. What happened was that this one theme – love-hungry hearts – has evolved into a series all its own. Its title is Seven Hungers of the human Heart. One of the blessings of growing old is that you have a lifetime of observations of humanity at its worst and its best. I have been around the world and studied people from a variety of cultures. I lived in Central Africa for seven years and watched the Batonga people and learned a lot from them about life and love and family. But I’ve also been to Europe, Asia, Central America, South America, and Canada. From my experience of over seven decades on planet earth observing men, women, and children in v

How good can your marriage be? Now there’s a question worth asking! It’s a good question because it focuses on the strengths of your marriage, rather than the weaknesses. Lots of marriage specialists like me focus more on the negative side of a marriage relationship. The question is always, “what’s the problem?” rather than, “What do you two do well together?”  Fact is, every marriage has weaknesses, and no matter how hard they try, they always will have areas for improvement. So, if your goal is to work constantly to eliminate the weaknesses in your relationship, you have no time nor energy left to develop the good stuff you do together.  This podcast is the first in a new series of podcasts that answer the question, “How good can our marriage be?”  Dr. Ross’s answer to the question is, “Fantastic! If you focus on what you love about each other rather than what bugs you about each other.”  He believes happier marriages begin with a positive mindset and an optimistic outlook on the prospects you have to make

A long and healthy marriage is a marvelous thing to experience and a blessing for children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. But, how do you make it happen?  How do you get longevity in your marriage? Dr. Ross’s marriage lasted over five decades. In this Podcast, he says, “How long you stay married depends on how you look at each other.” He then shares with you three ways to look at each other to ensure longevity in your marriage. You’ll love this podcast – especially the part where he tells you to … well, listen to it and you’ll find out! The podcast is 9 minutes long.

When children arrive in a marriage, priorities change, focus shifts, hand-holding turns into hand wringing, and sweet kisses turn into swift pecks on the cheek. Erotic encounters turn into repetitive intersecting. Tedium replaces erotica. Saving money overrides spending money. Boredom and bedlam, frustration and fear, confusion and concern overwhelm. Passion is replaced by parenthood.  So many responsibilities – no time for US. It’s time for an intervention. It’s time to learn how to have kids and to have a great marriage. Hubby? It’s time for you to take leadership and learn how to romance your children’s mother. In this fun podcast, Dr. Ross offers four suggestions to help you romance your children’s mother. His recommendations are gleaned from having had at least one child present in his home for over twenty years. Of all the responsibilities you have as a husband and father, this is one of the easiest things to do – to romance your children’s mother. Give it a try for a month or two – or for that matter,

There is a long-standing myth that libertine singles have all the sex and married people live sex-deprived lives until they finally get divorced and rejoin the sexually liberated singles crowd once again. It’s a myth – and the popular magazine, Psychology Today (online), has the evidence. Their article is titled, “6 Reasons Why Married Couples Should Have Better Sex Lives.” The subhead says, “Much of what you’ve been led to believe about married sex is probably wrong.” In this fun and informative podcast, Dr. Ross shares Psychology Today’s six reasons, and at the end, he adds a seventh reason married couples have better sex than singles. Don’t miss it. The podcast is 10 minutes long.

Can you think of anyone you know who has or had a successful marriage? Maybe your parents – maybe an aunt and uncle who always seemed to make good decisions, loved each other and got along nicely. Perhaps it is a friend you have in your MOPS group or a buddy you like to be around at church or at your service club. In this podcast, Dr. Ross discusses how good role models are good for your marriage! When you see other people live happy lives, it encourages you to do what you can to make your life enjoyable, even blissful. Who are your role models for a good marriage? The podcast is 10 minutes

Over ten years ago a rumor got out that half of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. Guess what, it was a rumor. The “fact” was checked and disproven, but the news was reported again and again and again until it became believed more than Santa Claus. Some years ago, some sociologists asked recently married and divorced Americans a dozen or so questions about their marriage: How long they dated, how long they were engaged, etc. After running the data through a multivariate model, the researchers calculated the factors that best predicted whether a marriage would last forever or end in divorce. Their results revealed that there were from five to seven significant factors that led to stable marriages. I have synthesized their findings with my decades of observation and have come up with my view of what it will take for you to have a stable marriage. Hear them in this 9-minute fast-moving, power-packed podcast. It will help you create the stable marriage you desire.

Dear Friend, After my wife’s death, I found out things about her that I never knew. Our oldest son, David, was her undisputed favorite child, and he revealed to me a couple of her secrets. I’ll tell you about one of them in this podcast. The theme is that both husband and wife are individuals who make up a common third entity called marriage. However, you cannot define yourself solely regarding what you think others need of you. You cannot be only “wife” and exclude all other aspects of who you are. You cannot be just “husband” and not have time and space that is yours. May God bless you and your mate as you negotiate the time and space, the quirks and traits of each other’s personality and both of you wholly become who you are, and at the same time, the two of you become entirely one. Or as I like to say, I am me, and you are you, and our marriage is us. Enjoy the podcast and feel free to forward it to anyone you know who wants a mutually satisfying, emotionally healthy, till-death-do-us-part marriage.  Than

Responsibility is two-words in one: “response” and “ability.” That’s what Dr. Ross discusses in this podcast. He points out that some really good stuff happens to people who take responsibility for their lives. When you’re in charge of you, you create your own fortune – your own vocation – your own calling. When you blame others, you forfeit your future and surrender your life to being the perpetual victim, the sorry Sam or the miserable Mary for whom nothing good ever happens. Who do you blame for your screw-ups? If you take personal responsibility for the state of your affairs, you’re a gem of a person. Keep up the good work – the world needs more people like you, individuals who don’t blame their mother or the weather or the government or their mate for whatever goes wrong in their lives. For a more harmonious home, for a more loving relationship with every member of your family, whenever you make a mistake, admit it – take personal responsibility, then apologize for it, then fix it, and make it right.  Wh

While getting a haircut recently, my hairdresser, Jackie (not her real name), told me a sorrowful story about betrayal, suicide, and struggle. I share the story with you in this week’s podcast because I want you to receive the same encouragement I gave Jackie. The story will break your heart, but I want it to motivate you to do everything you can to give all the love you have and receive all the love you need to become all the person God wants you to be.  Sincerely, Dr. Ron Ross

From Dr. Ross: I have officiated at over 300 marriages. In the process, I noticed that many brides and some grooms think it’s like they are in a Hallmark movie. The bride thinks the guy she’s in love with is Mister Perfect, her long-awaited soul mate, the kindest most generous most loving man she’s ever met. She thinks. And the guy thinks something similar – she’s beautiful, she’s kind, and not only that, she likes me! What more could a guy want? He wonders. Then they get married. The bride soon learns Mr. Perfect, isn’t perfect – he’s flawed. The groom finds out she’s not the fantastic figure of feminine flawlessness he thought he married. How is it that two people so in love with each other can one day wake up, look at the person lying in bed with them and wonder, “who is that woman, next to me?” or “Who is that stranger I let into my bedroom?” The problem is EXPECTATIONS. That’s what this podcast is about – what each mate expects out of their marriage and how to deal with their differences. Want to be clos

What is your favorite Christmas memory? What was your worst Christmas? As the dad and mom in your household, you’re the ones who create Christmas memories for each other and your children. In this podcast, Dr. Ross shares Christmas memories from his marriage to that “cute little Colorado girl named Amy Kay” that he was married to for over 50 years! You’ll delight in his memories and in the process, realize afresh that Christmas is about the people you love the most. It’s not about expensive gifts, elaborate meals, or crazy parties. It’s about each other and the eternal “Other” who was born on Christmas Day, Jesus Christ. You will find the podcast endearing and helpful. It lasts only 9 minutes.

What does it mean to be content?  Dr. Ross answers the question with two fascinating stories – one is about the time he moved his young wife and two toddler children to Africa. When they arrived, all they owned were the clothes in their suitcases. This experience taught them what contentment was all about. His second story is about a recent visit he had to the home of a very wealthy family (mom, dad, and 2 kids). They had every toy and every convenience imaginable. Were they content? You might be able to guess the answer, but you will enjoy Dr. Ross’s story of his visit and how it applies to life. In this podcast, Dr. Ross defines contentment like this: It is the feeling you get when you realize the stuff you have is just about all the stuff you’re going to need. The podcast is 10 minutes long.

In this podcast, Dr. Ross reminds us that the holiday season is a time when family memories are made. He begins with a personal story about how he almost ruined his first Christmas with his teenage bride well over 50 years ago.  He continues with some touching memories of the last days of his long marriage to “that cute little Colorado girl named Amy Kay.”  He wonders, “What kind of memories are you creating for your marriage, for your family? For your husband, your wife, your children?  You will love this personal, emotional and relevant podcast by Dr. Ross. The podcast is 9 minutes long.

“I just want a happy marriage!” is a lament you hear often.  In this podcast, Dr. Ross shares with you an almost sure-fire way to plant the seeds of happiness in your marriage relationship – and it’s something you can start doing today without even telling your mate. The best thing is – it’s EASY, FUN, and FULFILLING for you, your mate, and everyone around you!   The podcast is 9 minutes long.