Good Night

Bogart had it right in Casablanca. He didn't tell Bergman much about himself. It was all about her. "Here's looking at you kid" was mostly what he said. That's how you start a romance. Not a relationship, a romance. A relationship develops. A romance explodes. And after the explosion, there's nothing like a good back rub.

You know how things "go around"... a flu, a rumor, a hot tip? Well there's a bug going around...a nasty, ugly, very contagious growl. Left untreated, it can turn you into a cynic, or worse yet, it can give you political correctness. Here's what to do about it...and a story about somebody who ignored this warning. He fell victim to "The Prince of Fantasy".

Spiderman gave my buddies girl some great aural sex. (Aural with an A) He wove a web, and she wasn't strong enough to get away.

Serious New Year's Resolution this year is: "Crush Cynicism". Easier said than done these days. It seems that no matter how cynical you get, you can't keep up. So I'm not keeping up at all. My little 8 year old next door neighbor Emily, with her giggles and jelly beans, made me remember that the best way to solve a serious problem is with a silly solution. Try it. It worked for me.

Before there were discos, there were record hops. If you can remember record hops, you are a member of the Louie Louie generation. Louie Louie was the perfect guy dance. No complicated dance steps, and "the word" was that the words were "dirty" although nobody could really understand them. It was before political correctness, so it was ok to be dirty. If you are a member of the Louie Louie generation, you may need a daily minimum adult doseage of hope. Try this one.

This is a good argument for naked government. Research by Yale University Seniors has shown that when people hang around together in the nude, their conversation becomes "serious and philosophical." What a way to make Congress get serious and philosophical...Teddy Kennedy in the nude on the 6:30 PM network news. Just be careful of the concept on the beach on a soft summer night.

This is about Tinkerbell's tragic magic. Tink was in love with Peter Pan, even though society wasn't up for human-fairy marriages. She knew Wendy was going to win in the end. But she LOVED Mr. Pan. So she gave him her magic anyway. She just loved him. Tink was magic, but she needed us to clap for her to show that we believe, or she'd die. You've got to see Pulling-the-rabbit-out-of-the-hat magic to believe it. But you've got to first believe in Tink's kind of magic to see it. Tink's kind of magic is what can keep love going, even when we're a few weeks past the springtime of our lives. This is about clapping hands for Tinkerbelle...and keeping magic alive.

Introducing you to a voice that will never shut up. Now you'll never feel alone...even if you're all by yourself, sitting in a corner pigging out on fists full of Christmas fruitcake, swilling something frosty, and sticking out your lower lip because you're feeling left out of the Major New Years Party-ing.

Ask people if they've got "The Christmas Spirit", and some people say "Bah Humbug". Lots of people say "ho, ho, ho". Most people just say "Happy Holidays". And of course, a few people just say "Huh?" I don't find The Christmas Spirit in religion, presents, stories, poems nor even in music. A lot of people don't believe in it. I do. I've felt it. And I've seen it. Here's where I'll go looking for it again this year.

The biggest One Hit Wonder of all time was written because Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, one creature was stirring, and it was a mouse. David Summer makes a Grandfather, Father and Son connection and there's a story about NEVER Growing Up in this week's "Good Night".

Some people are SHOCKED ! SHOCKED I TELL YOU, that I would call my lady "Wonder Wench". She gets back at me this week. And a This Christmas love story about a love that started one Christmas a long, long time ago.

This time you'll find out why I claim that Men Are Saints. (The MAS Appeal). And learn about the salmonella poisoning you can get from eating turkey, which makes you crazy enough this time each year to rush down to the nearest mall and flatten your credit cards. Plus, we'll tell the story of "Beauty and the Beast".

Just a tiny clump of hair sets off a shriek heard from here to Labrador. A tale of lurking intrigue and falling down laughing at a major US Airport. And the Number One, El Supremo, Top Pick To Click cut from the Personal Audio Cds as reported by CDBABY.com - a story about a guy pretending he wasn't watching as the lady who used to be his wife crosses a downtown street, leaving him with a question that he'll probably never be able to answer.

The real difference between men and women is that we spit and scratch, and they dont. Another difference is that they do things to help us in an emergency, and we just grow a mustache. If you're getting a headache from this, I'll give you a back rub to make you feel better at the end of this PodProgram.

What kind of parties do the guys in the Lands End Catalogue underwear ads have with the girls in the Victoria&s Secret Catalogue when they&re stuffed into my lumpy mailbox together? Fantasies make life "interesting".

There are many parts of his body that a guy simply can't control, in times of great stress. Besides the parts that people with dirty-happy minds will immediately identify, there are also eyebrows and fingertips. This PodProgrm gives the science fiction explanation for that phenomenon, and explains what Humphrey Bogart and Tom Cruise seem to have done about it that us ordinary guys can't seem to master. And there's a story from the Quiet Hands cd that goes right along with the flow.

Taking time off from the Super Intercontinental Plastic Potato Pop Gun wars for lots of calls with your reaction to the questions about "stayin' faithful" from both the "Love Comes When You Least Expect It" story cd, and from your own lives. Why do men stray? What's it like being "The Other Woman?" "Is The Other Woman just, cheap?" And my own reaction to the idea that the pilot is just an ordinary dirty dog. Plus "Dick's Details" to take your mind off your mind, so you can nod off to sleep. Did you know that Moses stuttered? Bet nobody laughed.

Two suburban backyard war lords, Randy and I, face off with Intercontinental Ballistic Plastic Potatos, and the powerful Pop Guns to deliver them. Star Wars de-fence is semi successful, and Bill the Mailman loses his cigar. An honest confession as to why these PodPrograms are about such little things. And watch a beautiful woman's make up melt.

A trip back to bell bottoms, beads, and the late, great,1960s. If you can remember where Puff the Magic Dragon lives (by the sea), you'll remember Peter Paul and Mary and the land of Hona Lee. This is about a concert, and a knock on the side of the head lesson about respecting yourself, and whatever you stand for. It helps if, in the process, somebody gives you a rose.

Growing up can hurt. So can telling the truth. That's why some of us do neither. Mostly we are guys. I cannot tell a lie, the kid next door swiped my Bazooka toy, and I want it back. But she's 5 and I'm not going over there and knocking on her door, and saying "I want my toy back". Life is hard when faced with growing up. There's a story in this PodProgram about what I'm (honestly) trying to do about it. Honest !