Good Night

Barry Manilow, Pat Cooper and a cast of thousands of my friends star in this episode of Good Night. Well, hundreds of my friends. Ok, all my friends. I call it Mouth vs. Ear I Miss You. Mouth vs. Ear was a quiz show. Sort of. My friends and I were the Mouth, and we always won because we cheated. The listeners were the Ear, and they always lost because we cheated. Pat Cooper was our in studio guest at NBC Radio's New York FM station, WYNY. Barry Manilow was a regular caller. Pat won and Barry lost...because we cheated. I Miss You is a story from the Lovin Touch Personal Audio CD. When you listen, you'll understand why it's appropriate for this podprogram.

Not sure if it's Deer John or Jane Doe, but I have a haunch you'll enjoy the story. Also, the first known "not tonight dear, I have a headache" in recorded history. Plus a conversation with that little voice inside you that keeps calling you names. And then to sleep.

I thought I must have gone blind, or maybe it was that my eye glass prescription suddenly ran out. It was a shocker. Most of us eventually turn to flab. When that happens to our vision, we need glasses. Then it becomes a matter of balancing our need to see, with our need to look good. But nice things happen when you get the balance right, as the man and woman in the Bedtime Story called "Second Chance" will tell you.

35 is the magic age for guys. Until you reach 35 if some muscle hurts, you just shake it, and it's instantly ok. After 35 if some muscle hurts if you shake it, it might fall off. As a PodProgram listener from China found, the same thing happens with relationships. Don't say we didn't warn you. Sometimes magic is your best defense. So we're giving you some magic fingers from the Quiet Hands.

A fortune cookie ignored, is a fortune cookie on a mission of malice. A deadly three tow truck weekend, because I didn't pay attention to the way the fortune cookie crumbled. And a Bedtime Story about a lady on a horse, a windbag husband, and a pilot who might take off with her.

Waitresses are like Mini Moms. Be nice. They bring you your dinner, and even get you desert. And a Lovin Touch story about a minute's truth, and a forever fantasy.

The only pick up line that worked on the picky-est 21st Century woman, an amazing 18th century pick up procedure, and the story of a pick up line that got a work out woman worked up...I think. And then to sleep.

A first hand play by play account of an actual Non Cosmetic Shonz-ectomy this time. The results of life guarding at Coney Island a lot of years ago...too much boardwalk, too much hot dogs...too much sun. Non cosmetic means kinda ugly. Schnoz as in nose, and ectomy as in cut it open, fool around for a while in there, and sew it back up. There's also an audio helping hand in here, so all and all it's a positive pod.

I'd never say all men are always saints. But there is a certain manly grace that deserves more credit than we get. So we don't do everything the way the grown up sex would like us to do them. But we GET THEM DONE. Usually. Even moving. You can call this a moving story if you like. There's a Bedtime Story in it called "For The Long Run."

Doctors and Dentists are supposed to help us live a good life. But that's hard to keep in mind when they have a dead fish, an ominous Bible, and a funeral parlor fragrance in their waiting rooms. But nothing compares to the jolt you can get when you hit the playback button on your answering machine.

Practical jokes are a gift from the Lord. They loosen you up, and make you can relax. Here are a couple of new ones from my buddies Dave and Al. There's also some excellent advice about women from Cary Grant, and a story about a young guy who seems to understand what Mr. Grant is talking about.

Love is never boring when a summer rain is pouring.

Nothing grows where "Puddy" goes, so the Ladies of the Neighborhood aren't going to miss him. But the Prince grows stronger the more they wish he'd go away.

Nobody expected anything special. After all, nothing happened. But all of a sudden two people started living a new life together.

A good back rub means a very good night. Here's a verbal back rub from some calm and quiet hands. It'll turn your nerves to jelly and your muscles into warm spaghetti.

Some women expect too much from us. We're only guys. Give a guy a snarly, high horse power toy, and make way for the appearance of a super beast called LAWN TRACTOR MAN ! But some women have a right to expect a whole lot more than they get from many of us beasts. So here's a mostly true Bedtime Story about Beauty and the Beast.

Magic Lives. That's why there is Santa Claus, Beethoven's Fifth, The Beatles, The Hubble Space Telescope, and Bedtime Stories. Here's a true story, and a Bedtime Story about finding magic again, even though you're all grown up.

When worries won't let you sleep it's giggles to the rescue. Because you can't giggle and worry at the same time. Plus a story about love at first sight, and a second look at a "Tiny Dancer" from the "Night Connections" Personal Audio CD.

ABC - TV recently called Whitney Houston's biggest hit "I Will Always Love You," "America's Number One Wedding Song." That's because nobody listens any more. Just like lots of the people in your life, and mine. Here's what Whitney's song really means.