Good Night

"Maybe" the princess really did kiss a frog, and he turned into a prince...and that's why the Queen found a guy in her daughter's bedroom one morning. "Maybe" Cinderella and the other prince did live happily ever after. On the other hand, "maybe" it was the same guy, and he was really an out of work actor just "playing the part of a prince." "Maybe" is a slippery, squirrely word. Check out this podcast and find out why it's so important to all us "Louie-Louie Generation" people. You'll also find out why maybe George Washington wasn't really our first president, and why maybe you should call a sandwich a shrewsbury.

The word aerobic comes from the ancient Brooklyn word for "pain." Sometimes a "Whoops" gets in the way of a workout, partially due to that fact. Please listen before you fall into the trap of doing sit ups, or other harmful activities that could lead you to problems like "The Di Nero Syndrome."

When women watch a musician like Yanni toss his long hair while he's playing, they say, "oh isn't he wonderful." Then they turn to their boyfriends/husbands and say, "you need a haircut." So...eventually we go and get a haircut. They think that's easy. Actually, it's a ritual so dangerous it borders on human sacrifice.

Solitary sensual pleasures are an important part of Louie-Louie Generation lives. Here is your guide to Solo Scratching, Retro Rubbing, Scalping, Showering, and Sneezing. They are not only pleasurable, they are endorsed by Big Louie...his own big bad self.

A Toy Boy is not just a dyslexic Boy Toy. A Toy Boy is a "Louie-Louie Generation" guy who uses toys for the benefit of mankind...and the pursuit of woman kind. When a Toy Boy is asked when he's going to grow up, he holds up an object in the shape of a cross...made from tinker toys.

Some days, you just need a pat on the fanny from your girlfriend...like when your other girlfriend gets hurt...badly. This was one of those days. Boys with toys will understand.

What a stupid title for a song these days. Or maybe not. Is the glass half full, or is it half empty...or does that make any difference at all. This is a story about waking up with a picture of Hillary Clinton on my forehead...and going to bed with a little different way of looking at "A Wonderful World."

I found that I am suffering from "Precocious Ab Deflation." That's a highly technical term. It comes from the ancient Latin word "Pre" which means before...as in "pre-marital sex." "Cocious" is from the ancient Brooklyn word "cocious," which means "wise person"...as in "every winning team has a staff of wise cocious." So "Precocious" means what happens to you before you have a chance to get wise to what's happening. But I'm ok, because just in time...the Lone Ranger came to the rescue.

I passed my FAA Flight Physical the other day, courtesy of the fact that my Mother was a pincher. Try using the same technique I used next time you're going through some kind of crisis that makes the little voice in your head start crying for your mommy. It really does work.

Everybody needs a trophy...a prize for a lifetime of hard work. "Trophy" is from the ancient Brooklyn word "Tro", meaning to hurl an object... as in "I tro a baseball pretty hard." Fee is the Bar Association word meaning money. "Trophy" therefore means something at which I throw money. My trophy is my little airplane. And the boogie man is trying to take it from me. Some memories, some hopes, and one big fear this time.

She was packed into her blue short shorts like two scoops of cherry vanilla ice cream. Her stretchy halter top was stretched as far as it would stretch. She had just moved in a few months ago, severely disrupting the balance of estrogen and testosterone in the neighborhood...and she loved it. That&s what I wanted going on in my head on my bike ride. Instead, I got "My Boy Bill." The little voice in my head got the last laugh on me again.

Who were our REAL forefathers ? Why is California such a mess ? How did Bob and Kathy stay together ? Who bought all those Sony Naked Cams ? Get the alleged answers, plus the story of an out of breath woman and a sweaty guy in this week&s Good Night Podcast.

Toe nail clipping isn&t easy for a Louie-Louie generation guy. Each toe is a three breath affair. The Thumb toes are good for five. Toenail clipping has become so hard priests will start assigning it for penance. "You did what?? How often?? Well say three rosaries and clip your toe nails...that will teach you." But Louie-Louie generation people take heart. We may shrink, but we never shrivel.

Watch out when a sweet southern lady with big gentle eyes serves you some grits and syrup and gives you one of those classy smiles. Y&all can do you in. That&s what happened to Don Imus. It happens to me a lot. AND IT CAN AND WILL HAPPEN TO YOU.

Sometimes your head works behind your back. There&s some guy up there telling you what you should or shouldn&t do, and giving you a hard time when you screw up...AND YOU DON&T EVEN KNOW WHO THIS GUY IS. But you can put his smarts to work for you, with the Quiet Decisions technique in this week&s podcast. If he keeps giving you a hard time, tell him to back off, because you&re all you&ve got.

Doctors now claim that the reason men chase pretty young girls is that we have an overwhelming drive to spread our genes to succeeding generations, and mating with a young and pretty woman makes it seem more likely we'll do that efficiently. WRONG "Playing In The Gene Pool" exposes the naked truth in this cover up.

Soon, some terrorist will sneak into your bedroom in the middle of the night guys, and he'll shave a little bald spot right up on top of your head. You won't even notice till the next time you get a hair cut, and the barber puts that mirror around in back of you. That's the start. From then on, you're going to be on the watch for the young guys who are lurking in every corner, ready to pounce on your girl.

Pop is not a funny sound when it comes from your once magnificent leg while riding your bike. "Wear support socks" is a completely silly thing for a doctor to say to a sex symbol like yourself. But it happens. There IS an up side to it. And it&s part of this podprogram.

Men and women are opposite sexes. Not just different sexes... OPPOSITE sexes. That's one reason we have a lot to learn from each other. My Lady Wonder Wench told me the secret of happiness a long time ago, when she said, "Whatever you want". There's a story in here about a young guy who did just what he wanted to do with his buddy's half naked girlfriend. How do you think THAT turned out? Bet you're wrong.

You all know question number one; "If I died would you get married again ?" The ONLY possible answer to that potentially deadly question is revealed in this absolutely essential podprogram. And you will also find a workable answer to the even more deadly but less well known mighty question number two; "Were you a virgin when you got married?." Guys, you miss this podprogram at your own risk.