Speak Loud

Today I’m talking with Eric Daddario, who travels to high schools to show students how they can immediately change the course of their own lives and the lives of others. His experience lies in watching his brother die of a drug overdose, which is when he realizes the importance of making positive choices. Eric’s program shows youth how their decisions can impact long-term consequences in their lives.Speak Up When You Need HelpEric’s message is to speak up when you or someone you know is in trouble from alcohol or drug abuse, sexual abuse, or they are suffering from mental illness. His brother struggled when they were teens, and even though they were in the same peer group, Eric didn’t go down the path of addiction while his brother did. Eric believes his brother made that choice because of his low self-esteem.Struggling Through Social Anxiety on His OwnEric’s brother struggled with social anxiety due to a physical appearance issue which his brother believed others were judging him for. Although he had plastic

Today I’m talking with Jarie Bolander, an author and entrepreneur whose experience runs from semiconductors to life sciences to nonprofits. He runs his own podcast, “Entrepreneur Ethos,” named after his latest book of the same title. Jarie  works to help clients convert concepts to strategies, but for today’s episode, he’s here to speak loud about what he calls “manly grief” and the process of grief for men in our society. Caring for a Terminal SpouseJarie first encountered an issue with grieving as a man when his then wife, Jane, died of leukemia in 2017. He recounts the two of them trying to prepare in case of her death but that it’s impossible to prepare for something like that. After her death, Jarie felt afraid and confused, and turned to substances to try and fill the void. While grieving, Jarie felt alone and like there weren’t many people who were able to support him the way he needed—even he didn’t know what he needed. He joined support groups for widows and widowers but found that the majority were

Today I’m talking with Becca Ferguson, a licensed professional counselor in trauma recovery and an online course creator who brings her love for storytelling and teaching everywhere she goes. Her advice comes from years of both personal and professional experience and her main goal in her work is to make sure people know that they aren’t alone. Today, she’s here to speak loud for people who don’t know what they need—or are afraid to ask for themselves. Seizing Your AutonomyBecca shares that something she’s learned both as a therapist and a client is that after experiencing trauma, there’s a struggle in knowing how much to tell. One of the reasons why she became a therapist was because of her upbringing. She grew up in a conservative Christian home, where she didn’t have a lot of autonomy, and experienced abuse and the guilt and shame that came with it. It wasn’t until last year when Becca was seeing her own therapist that she realized that she had PTSD. She was abused in the church, had over-controlling paren

Today I’m talking with Rebecca Heidt, an artist and author of “Acceptance: The Beginning” and “Acceptance: The Reality”, the first two in her fantasy-fiction series. She’s won awards both for contemporary fantasy fiction and woman fantasy fiction as well as an LGBTQ+ fantasy fiction award. Rebecca believes in empowering others in not giving up on the life they want and claiming your own voice. Using Fantasy Fiction to Process TraumaOn her first appearance on the Speak Loud Podcast, Rebecca spoke about her own journey with trauma and acceptance, life experiences that influenced her to write her books. She’s currently working on the third book in the “Acceptance” series with plans for at least one more after that, along with an audiobook by December 2023.Through her book series, Rebecca’s been able to heal from the major traumas of her life, a process that she describes as happening over and over. The fictional setting offers a playground to experiment with different narratives and parts of her life in a way th

Today I’m talking with Hildegard Koenig, proud mother of 2 who has dedicated her career to helping others. She’s a survivor of domestic violence and sexual abuse who has a burning passion to give her voice for victims of crime and cancer warriors. Hilde is the co-founder and president of the Ink Against Cancer foundation, a unique 501c3 that connects local artists to provide financial aid for cancer warriors. The Consequences of Domestic AbuseHilde shares that her first experience with sexual assault came when she was a child in Venezuela, and influenced her adulthood when she met her abuser and eventual ex-husband. She stayed in the marriage until nearly losing her life, and left with nothing but her two children—15 months and 2 months old, respectively—and was scared of what would happen. Hilde says she wishes she had known of more of the resources available for victims of domestic and sexual abuse. After sharing her story and getting a protective order against her abuser, Hilde started from the bottom once

Today I’m talking with Lynn Crook, author of “False Memories: The Deception that Silenced Millions.” After suffering sexual abuse as a child, she sued her parents for damages and won, which led her down the investigation path that inspired her book. Today, she’s here to speak loud about encouraging survivors to speak publicly about their experiences, and combating shame with compassion. Uncovering Repressed MemoriesLynn was the oldest of six children who were all molested. Her father forced her to repress the memory after punishing her for talking about it, and over her young lifetime, she eventually forgot about it completely. It wasn’t until 40 years later when Lynn was working in a sexual abuse response center that the memories started to resurface in panic attacks and flashbacks. It took Lynn months to speak about and accept what had happened to her, but when she did, she decided to sue her parents for damages due to sexual abuse. She had the means to go to court and wanted to make the world safer, eventu

Today I’m talking with Steve Simpson, an award-winning author, businessman, and volunteer. Steve started writing as a child to escape a traumatic home life, and through his experiences with foster care, therapy, and self-help groups, was able to create a new start for himself. Today, he is here to speak loud about his own experience with abuse and to assure other people that they aren’t alone. Living a False NarrativeIn early childhood, Steve describes himself as the opposite of an ‘A student’: a ‘Z student.’ He was always cracking jokes and interrupting and consistently failed classes because of the physical and verbal abuse he was receiving at home from his father. He recalls being jealous of the ‘smart kids’ whose home lives he believed to be perfect. Steve developed the narrative that he was stupid and that it didn’t matter how much effort he put in—he would never succeed.Steve says that he started cutting class as early as 3rd grade, and would go to the library and ask for a pen and paper, where he would

Today I’m talking with Jennifer Morris, a mother and author who decided to share her story of love and loss in order to bring comfort to those who have experienced death in their lives. Her book, titled ‘I Will Be With You Alway’ released last June in 2022, and provides children with a story on how to understand and cope with loss. Another Side to TraumaJennifer’s mother died when she was 5, and still too young to understand what death was. She recalls sitting at the dinner table and asking her family, “So, after the funeral, is that when Mom is coming home?” Eventually, Jennifer learned that her mom had committed suicide, and as a young girl told herself the story that her mother had left her deliberately because she was not enough. Her father’s struggle with alcoholism led to another narrative of Jennifer’s: “I’m alone with no one to take care of me.” She spent her life searching for someone to take care of her, willing to be whatever role they needed in order to feel loved. She felt like a ship in the midd

Today I’m talking with Jason Hallberg, a friend of many years. He is a new podcaster, from the podcast ‘Rapping Life,’ which is currently in its early stages. Today, he is here to talk about childhood emotional neglect and the discoveries he has made through his soul journey. Emotionally Absent ChildhoodJason Hallberg grew up dealing with emotional neglect throughout his childhood. His father was absent from his life and his mother raised him in the same manner she was raised. His mother’s boyfriend created an environment of verbal and emotional abuse as well as excessive drug and alcohol use. Jason was quick to lash out and fight in elementary school, and after being expelled in 4th grade and seeing the impact it had on his mother, became closed off and hyper-independent.Jason recalls meeting his best friend in junior high whom he described as changing his life. His friend lived an entirely different lifestyle, with a functioning family and more money than Jason, who felt he didn’t bring anything to the tabl

Today I’m talking with Clayne Edward Wayman. He’s a sought-after mortgage professional, as well as a speaker, mentor, and founder of the Vasper platform where he shares spiritual insight and mentorship. He’s a recent author and a husband and father of four. Today, he’s here to share his story and talk about the importance of trust.Growing Up in a Polygamist SectClayne grew up in a Mormon fundamentalist polygamist community. His mother was a first wife of 12, and Clayne was the first of 45 children who were primarily homeschooled. He married his first wife when he was 21, and then remarried after their divorce. Both were members of the same fundamentalist community, based in Arizona. Clayne explains that multiple Mormon fundamentalist groups still practice polygamy. These sects view polygamy as a cornerstone of the religion. Growing up, Clayne thought his lifestyle was completely normal— ‘monogamist’ was the worst insult that he knew. However, in 2008 and 2009, he started questioning the environment he was rai

Today I’m talking with Charles Smith, an author, advocate, and lifelong survivor who uses his story as proof that you can overcome the worst that life has to offer. He has been an orphan, homeless veteran, and suicide survivor, and uses his pain as a building block to support others. Today, he’s here to speak loud about bringing awareness to complex PTSD. Compounding TraumasCharles’ mother passed away when was 6, followed later by his father at age 11. As a child, he moved often, and from the PTSD found it difficult to create close relationships. His sister recalls that he didn’t speak for 6 months after they moved in with their aunt and uncle following his father’s death. Charles says that he was in shock and depressed, and afraid of getting close to people only to lose them again. As a young adult, Charles joined the army infantry, serving in Cuba and in the reserves. However, after his uncle and grandfather passed away, Charles found himself a homeless veteran. The depression led him to self-harm and an ev

Today I’m talking with Papa Ray Hurst, a husband, father, and personal coach. After surviving two major depressions, he’s now leading people to freedom through his work as a speaker, author, pastor, and business owner. Today, he is here to speak loud about absent and abusive fathers and the social struggles that can be traced back to these roots. Returning to Core BeliefsPapa Ray’s greatest desire “is to be for the world what the world was not for me when I needed them the most.” His father left when he was 4, and he grew up in a Mennonite community that wasn’t equipped to handle the separation. He recounts that his relatives didn’t know what to do for him and no one stepped up to fill the space of father-figure, which led to his depressions later in life. Ray talks about the importance of identifying your dominant thoughts and returning to the core imprint of the subconscious, or the core beliefs. Narratives created in childhood—almost always before 10, Papa Ray says—are difficult to shake but necessary to c

Today I’m talking with Dr. Nghi Dang, a family medical physician of over ten years. He’s provided care to all ages for both mental and physical health, giving him a deeper view of the importance of mental health. He’s the author and illustrator of the “The Adventures of Max and Friends” children’s series and father of 2. Today, Nghi is here to speak loud about responding to mental health proactively rather than reactively and encouraging preventative action. Understanding Trauma and Mental IllnessNghi was born in Vietnam and immigrated to the United States when he was 6. The culture shock turned his world upside down and he felt alone and outcasted in his new home. Despite his initial struggles with school, Nghi went on to follow his siblings’ examples in medicine and pursue a career as a doctor. Nghi explains that mental illness is often diagnosed when patients come in to treat symptoms that seem unexplained. Trauma and stress can affect the body in more ways than we might know, as Nghi explains, and there i

Today I’m talking with Neil McKinlay, a meditation teacher and mentor who seeks to share his lifelong interest and reflection in the practice of meditation. Through his online communities, he offers a range of resources to encourage and empower meditation practitioners to access their inner wisdom and bring it into the world. Healing the Relationship with SelfNeil has been meditating since he was a teenager and has practiced in 2 separate Buddhist communities. However, the community was being driven by the spiritual leader’s self-centered impulses, rather than healing and meditation. The manipulation and disrespect that Neil suffered from his teacher caused him to make the difficult decision to leave the community he had been a part of for twenty years.Neil left the community with a distorted relationship with himself and his intuition. He no longer works with a spiritual leader but is still reflecting on those twenty years and sifting through for the golden nuggets and silver linings of things he’s learned a

Today I’m talking with Kimberly Bell, inspirational speaker, minister, and mentor. She’s the author of “Epitome of Kimberly: A Memoir of Finding Hope & Resilience.” She has 2 degrees, in Human Development and Psychology and in Theology. Through her books and talks, she inspires others to never give up hope and inspire others to solve societal issues. Today, she is here to speak loud about having the courage to be yourself and embrace your life. Learning to Choose HerselfKimberly describes her background of abandonment and abuse. She experienced abandonment from her parents and all forms of abuse. The ‘broken foundation’ started for her when her parents, who were in a physically abusive relationship, left her to be raised by her aunt without explanation. As an adult, she had to accept that it happened but she was not responsible for things adults did to her. She explains how the abandonment and abuse she went through influenced her experience with relationships in adulthood. She always put other people fir

Today I’m talking with Donna Wayles, a wife, mother, and abuse survivor who shares her story of escaping domestic abuse with God’s love and grace. She’s the author of “I'll Pray for You: A Christian Woman's Guide to Surviving Domestic Violence” and a self-described domestic violence subject expert. Today, she is here to speak loud about being a thriver after domestic abuse and finding life and hope after abuse.Donna met her abuser through a church picnic when she was in her early 20s. She describes that the pressure from the church encouraged her to get married early and young, within 7 months of meeting her then-husband. Though she had been sensitive to the physical abuse he began to demonstrate, she interpreted his controlling behaviors as ‘protectiveness’ and being a sign of how much he loved her. As the abuse escalated, however, Donna began reaching out to different avenues for support. Another wife from church dismissed her concerns about her husband’s possessiveness and talking with her pastor

Today I’m talking with Debbie Terry, an author, speaker, and survivor of domestic abuse. She’s the host and owner of the Restoration Warrior Women’s Conference where she gathers women from all walks of life to share their stories and faith and help others overcome their obstacles. Today, she’s here to speak loud about her new book and offer support for other survivors who have yet to step out from their situations. Speaking Up After TraumaDebbie explains that she wasn’t aware of the extent of her own abuse because of the love she had for her husband at the time. After a nasty divorce and the separation from her children, her journey in healing began. She explains that factors such as pride and shame encouraged her to stay in her situation but ultimately had to accept that the other individual wasn’t going to change. Debbie is now remarried to the love of her life, but she describes that she at first pushed him away because she wasn’t used to the level of love and treatment he was giving her. The scars and lay

Today I’m talking with Amy Stein, an herbalist, energy medicine educator, and trauma-informed breathwork facilitator. Her mission is to educate and empower the highly empathetic so that they can live in harmony with their body and their environment by working with Mother Nature’s intelligence rather than against it. Today she’s here to speak loud about choosing what is best for our bodies and the intersections of the body’s intelligence and empathy. Treating the Root CauseAmy shares that throughout her life she often felt misunderstood and not honored when it came to her body. Symptoms such as migraines and blackouts were dismissed or she was told, “Your body is broken, take this pill.” These wounds and limiting beliefs followed her into adulthood as the ailments only increased. Her journey began while teaching geriatric patients coping skills such as meditation as an alternative to medication. However, Amy didn’t fully understand the concepts she was teaching and decided to educate and empower herself. The b

Today I’m talking with Greg Wieting, a healer and entrepreneur who helps others heal from anxiety, depression, trauma, and chronic pain with his unique blend of trauma neuroscience, energy medicine, and somatic and mindfulness practice. He developed this framework, Prisma, during his own healing journey and is here to speak loud about working with pain in a significant way. Rising Above Chronic PainWhat Greg shares with clients is what he’s learned from his own 25 years of healing. He has dealt with muscular-skeletor difficulties his entire life but didn’t seek healing until finding reiki work after college. That moment was something he never realized he had been looking for and it sent him on a journey to discover more healing modalities for himself and others. Greg says that his early experiences taught him, “I’m not my pain.” Our lives are often organized around pain or trauma, but he realized that this didn’t have to be the case. After 8 months in India, he studied bodytalk, yoga, and ayurveda, which led

Today I’m talking with Jimmy Clare, a motivational speaker, autism advocate, and author. He’s the founder of ‘Crazy Fitness Guy’ and became a speaker after overcoming his own personal struggles in life. He had been told he wouldn’t be able to walk without braces, bullied, and undergone 9 surgeries, including 3 in one day. Today, he is here to speak loud about proving naysayers wrong.Growing Up With AutismHaving autism affected Jimmy in many aspects of life. He didn’t reach many milestones as a kid, though he doesn’t like the idea of ‘milestones’ as they imply that he was behind in some way. When he was a child, a friend of his mother’s told her, “Don’t worry about Jimmy not talking at the moment because later in life he’ll never shut up.” In a way he was right, as Jimmy is now a professional speaker. Many of Jimmy’s struggles stemmed from school. Bullying was rampant and there was less understanding and acceptance for autism at the time. He recalls not being supported or understood by the school district, whi