Speak Loud

In this episode of the Speak Loud Podcast, host Tiffany Barnes is joined by Quintin Long – a Utah native, amateur photographer, advocate for suicide prevention, and soon-to-be husband. Fresh out of high school, in a time of personal growth, Quintin found himself in a relationship with a woman that mentally abused him. After 12 months of abuse, he came to realize that the relationship was not what he thought it was and it was time to get out. Though he still carries a lot of blame for what happened, Quintin in now in a healthy, committed relationship. Tune in to hear what he is doing now in his relationship to make sure that the patterns of the past don’t repeat themselves. To other male listeners, Quintin shares some sound advice - Listen to your friends and family. It’s okay to ask for help and it’s okay to tell others that you are struggling. Find someone you confide in and tell them about what’s going on in your day-to-day life. It doesn’t have to be about abuse, but just have open conversation with someon

Emotional and psychological abuse is the most underrated form of abuse. Just because there is no physical evidence of violence doesn’t mean that it is less traumatizing.In today’s show, we have Anne Blythe joining us. Anne and I will be having an in-depth conversation on emotional and psychological abuse.Anne is a trauma expert and survivor. She hosts the Betray Trauma Recovery podcast. She will be sharing a slice of her story and different ways to deal with trauma.Also, we’ll talk about pornography addiction and abuse, identifying abuse in a relationship, and how to set boundaries. If you are going through trauma and or you’ve been through trauma and are yet to deal with it, this episode is for you.Resources mentioned in the episode:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men- Lundy BancroftConnect with Anne Blythe:Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast- https://www.btr.org/recovery-podcast/Center for Peace Program - http://www.cnfp.org/Join BTR Group- https://www.btr.org/service/btrg/

Triumph—Inspire—Change, because the cycle ends with you. No matter how large your flame inside, whether a spark or a wildfire, resilience comes from destroying the lie that you are simply a victim of your circumstance. After escaping abuse and being legally emancipated at 15, Tiffany Barnes founded S.H.A.R.E. to help others take a stand against abuse in their lives. Journeying through her past, Tiffany shares her own story of abuse, defeating the darkness, and inspiring others to be the change they want to see. Key Takeaways:Forgiveness is a key part in overcoming abuseUse your past as a steppingstone toward the future, toward a better lifeMake yourself promises that you won’t become [fill-in-the-blank], and hold yourself to that If you know about abuse and say nothing, you are no better than the abuser themselvesResources:More about SHARE? Visit sharethemovement.orgVisit Tiffany’s website: coachtiffanybarnes.com What to Listen for:[05:00] A glimpse into my early life and family background[23:00] My darkest h

Manipulation assumes no gender… and neither does vulnerability. Here to talk about the power of standing up for yourself and stepping away from the victim mentality is Ryan Breivik. Ryan is the mastermind behind The Scarlet Letter D, a book about bouncing back and redefining yourself after divorce, which he created because he would have loved to have that knowledge back when he was going through his divorce.Ryan was married to a "narcopath", which is a combination of a narcissist and a sociopath, and has been divorced for 9 years. Ryan’s mother was highly emotional and his father didn’t often think things through, so that was the norm that he grew up with. He didn’t know he was being abused by his wife, but around the fourth year of marriage, she admitted that she had been with other men before being with him. This wasn’t the way their culture worked. Normally, physical intimacy is saved for after marriage. Ryan began to think of what else she hasn’t told him and that it was the beginning of the end

1 in 6 men experience some form of abuse BEFORE the age of 18 years old. We don’t often hear men’s stories of abuse and overcoming abuse but I believe it’s crucial. Here to talk about discovering the power of his mind, embracing the wholeness in ourselves, and all things resentment is Dennis Concoby. Dennis was a family medicine doctor and is now a life transformation coach because he recognized the severity of mental illness in the world and felt the need to make a shift. Dennis was one of nine children and experienced abuse from his parents. An event that got him thinking about this abuse was a time where someone had gotten into his father’s beloved sodas, which turned into a huge ordeal. He didn’t know how to deal with it so he locked it away deep inside himself. A theme in his early life was either these moments of abuse were normalized or they were too big to process, so he internalized them. Once he was in his medical residency program, some unusual behaviors started to come out, which the people around

Brooke Heym is a mother, entrepreneur, sexual empowerment and intimacy coach, public speaker, musician, and a survivor of many forms of abuse. Brooke’s mission is to help people learn how to reestablish sexuality into a positive part of their life and begins by sharing with us how shame and creativity are often related.Brooke’s experience of sexual trauma began when she was 8 years old, with her stepfather. With the abuse lasting into her teenage years, she explains the fault that he placed on her and how it impacted her way of thinking about her worth and power. She believed that she was responsible for her childhood abuse and broken family and that it was engrained in her that her purpose was to be hurt. Having experienced date rape and divorcing from three abusive marriages by the age of 27, Brooke gets vulnerable and speaks about her experience trying to stop the abuse from happening but not actually being able to stop it. Brooke talks about boundaries and making the profound decision to stand up for your

So often, we think of abuse as something that only women can experience. Men’s abuse seems to be scoffed at and disregarded. However, men’s abuse is real, and it is happening far too often. Today I welcome Tony Taylor, a survivor abuse, to discuss the abuse her endured, how he found himself in an abusive environment, and how he was able to find freedom and resilience after abuse. Tony recounts the emotional, mental, and physical abuse he experienced as a child. He goes into how his abuse led him to develop a borderline personality disorder. Tony goes on to describe the abusive relationships he found himself in and how he felt himself in abusive relationships because he didn’t know anything different and began to think his abuse was normal. Tony shares what held him back from healing; he explains that his need for resolution and closure that never came caused him to harbor anxiety and trauma for years after his abuse. Tony and I discuss the ways he has worked to overcome this block and what freedom from this h

For survivors of abuse, it can be difficult to shift their mindset from victim to victor. So often, the trauma in the wake of abuse leaves open wounds that are salted by setting up camp in the “victim mentality”, rather than seeking healing. Taylor Doulas, an amazing mother, captivating speaker, retreat and event organizer, as well as personal development mentor and interpersonal influence mentor, joins me today to share her story. Taylor is a survivor of emotional abuse and she speaks into the trauma she endured as well as how she overcame that trauma and stepped into resiliency and healing. Taylor expresses a very abrupt approach to healing that some people experience. Instead of slipping into a victim mentality, Taylor was strategic and determined to find healing after her emotional abuse. She shares the tactics she implemented to harness her healing and how she shifted her mentality from “following others” to “choosing herself”. Taylor explains that her healing looked like immersing herself in personal de

I am so excited to welcome my dear friend, Lauri Schoenfeld, to the show today! Despite the childhood abuse she endured, Lauri is a successful, incredible, and strong woman today. She is a mother of three, a captivating and inspiring speaker, an expression coach, and an amazing author.Lauri opens up about the different types of childhood abuse she faced, including emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. She recounts the thoughts and feelings she experienced and how her perception became morphed because of her abuse. Lauri explains how she began to justify the abuse her parents inflicted upon her as being her fault, that something was wrong with her. She shares that this mentality that manifested from her abuse led her to become suicidal. Then, Lauri discusses how she was able to break out of her childhood abuse because of a physical ailment she had to tend to and heal. Through the care she gave her body, Lauri learned to find her mental strength as well, and shift her mindset to being the victor in her life.La

Trauma has a massive impact on our psyche. So much so, in fact, that our brains can suppress memories of trauma in order to cope. This is not uncommon and can affect many trauma survivors. Tiffany Jackson, a strong, beautiful mother and trauma survivor, recounts her trauma on the show today and speaks into her repressed memories of trauma, how she coped when her trauma came to light, and how she perceives her trauma in the present day. In our discussion, Tiffany and I connect through our shared trauma and speak to the trauma that impacted us most and why. Tiffany goes into some of the trauma she experienced and how she achieved resilience and peace after this trauma through self-love. Because of a suicide attempt, Tiffany shares, she was led to a wonderful therapist who invited healing into her heart and gave her the support she needed. She speaks into how she stays resilient through trust in her own strength and trust in the journey she is on to peace. Tiffany explains the energy healing tactics she has used

Feeling comfortable in your sexuality after trauma can feel like an impossible feat. So many survivors struggle to confidently express their sexuality or even connect to it after experiencing trauma. In this amazing episode of the Speak LOUD podcast, I welcome Susan Bratton, highly esteemed and incredibly known intimacy wellness expert, to speak about finding healing in your sexuality. Susan, a trauma survivor herself, shares her background of sexual, emotional, and physical abuse and the pain she experienced in her past. She explains how this trauma, and her own challenges healing her sexuality, lead her to begin helping others, especially sexual abuse survivors, feel confident in their sexuality.  After researching the subject of healing sexuality and lovemaking, Susan explains, she found three main factors that attribute to sexual confidence. Susan speaks into the impact trauma has on sexuality and digs deeper to understand exactly where trauma manifests itself in an individual’s sexuality. Susan shares th

Today, we are joined by a very special guest, Leta Greene. She was raised in what she calls two extremes: truck stops and Provo, Utah. Not exactly spots that belched up beauty tips. So, how did a shy tomboy with her share of scars become a confident beauty expert? Here’s a clue: it didn’t involve a traditional makeover or even much makeup!  She discovered the secret to lasting beauty—and it worked despite all the scars and truck stops. Leta gives us a look into his background, and why she is passionate about educating kids about topics that they face in today’s world. She creates an immediate rapport to help them build their confidence and understanding of healthy relationships.  Leta speaks into why we don’t want to terrify young minds with all the realities and dangers of our world. Just as when we explained to our children to look both ways before crossing the street we did teach them by showing them pictures of children that had been hit. We taught them the principle and pointed out the dangers they could

Abuse is a horrible epidemic in the world today. I am joined Sarah Galeboloke, a young marketing professional to discuss abuse and the ramifications it has on our society. Beyond her career, Sarah works with nonprofits to promote anti-trafficking efforts and helps victims of abuse or overcoming pornography addictions.Sarah shares her story of mental, emotional, and verbal abuse in her childhood and how she found herself in an abusive relationship. She explains how her abuse pushed her to learn about emotional intelligence and lead her on an empowering journey and self-awareness, resilience, and knowledge. Sarah speaks into the healing process and how it has been an ongoing battle. She expands on how her domestic abuse has impacted her present relationships and how she is overcoming learned reactions and finding her strength. We discuss the Victim Triangle and Winning Circles and how these theories helped Sarah shift her perspective from that of a victim to that of a warrior. Through her own domestic abuse, Sa

So often we dwell on and live in the negative aspects that trauma creates. However, as strong and amazing survivors, it’s critical that our mindset shifts to focus on the positive effects of trauma. Lorrie Richins shares her story to bring awareness to trauma and share her work as a personal and family empowerment coach. Lorrie starts the show off by giving listeners look into her background and the work that she does in her business, Whole Family Mentoring. She recounts how her repressed trauma was brought forth later in her life; what caused the trauma to resurface and how she coped with this realization. After hitting her breaking point and planning to take her own life, Lorrie found her strength and kept fighting, eventually becoming resilient to the pain that once crushed her. Lorrie explains how seeing a therapist helped her step into resiliency and out of the pain she felt. Lorrie so perfectly describes what pain feels like and the reaction it forces it us to have of escape and fleeing from those feeli

In this episode of the Speak LOUD podcast, I speak with my incredible guest, Em Capito, public speaker at TedTalk Salt Lake City, licensed clinical social worker, and trauma survivor. Em shares with us her passion for finding resilience in sustainable and fulfilling ways. Em and I dive into our conversation by touching on learned resiliency and how to step out from the constrictive mindset that someone either is or is not resilient. We chat about the empowerment that is achieved when we start shaping our lives around resilience. Em offers her perspective on this and speaks into what resilience provides us and the tools and techniques she used to find resiliency after trauma.Em shares her trauma and recounts the journey she took towards resilience. She speaks into the foundation that is necessary to harvest resiliency in our lives and how to fuel our resilience. Em goes on to outline the six factors of the resilience pyramid that she has implemented to keep herself accountable for her resiliency. Through our d

I have the privilege of speaking with the wise and wonderful Angie Milgate today! Angie is an EPIC, Empath Psychic Intuitive Creative, who sees and speaks truth, and author of the incredible book, Above the Clouds: A Courageous Journey of Hope, Love and Revelation. She joins me to discuss her experiences with trauma and her connection with the energy in this world. Angie shares her background and how she found herself in a position to helps those who are fighting to overcome the trauma they endured. Although Angie didn’t experience childhood abuse herself, she speaks to the experience she had growing up in a family with parents that had faced trauma. Angie explains how she ended up finding herself in an abusive relationship and also how she was able to escape from her abusive husband.  She speaks into her struggles with seeking help immediately after she was able to break free from her abuse. Angie shares the questions and self-accusations she heard in her mind during that time and how they affected her heali

Today, we are joined by a very special guest, Joe Dennis, who works with me at S.H.A.R.E. as a trauma counselor.  Joe gives us a look into his background, and—more specifically—his work as a trauma clinician. Joe describes what he’s witnessed in his role focusing on PTSD and how trauma manifests itself. We dive into how trauma changes over time and define the types of trauma that people experience.   Joe speaks into the different approaches available today to treat trauma. We talk about what tactics he’s found to be successful in overcoming trauma and achieving resiliency.  As my conversation progresses with Joe, he uncovers how trauma affects the brain. Joe explains the impact trauma has, not only physically, but mentally. We go on to discuss how trauma resurfaces and manifests through triggers even after we’ve overcome physical trauma. Joe shares his own beliefs and points of consideration to overcome the experiences we go through in our pasts.  With his focus in trauma, Joe is able to shed light on the dif

I switch things up in this episode with my guest, Janet Brohm, an incredible teacher, and businesswoman who shares her insight into the effect our core personality traits have on our resilience.Janet shares what the five personality traits are and defines what they look and feel like.1. Openness2. Agreeableness3. Conscientiousness4. Extroversion5. NeuroticismJanet explains the research around resilience and how these personality traits impact our ability to be resilient. She describes how certain personality traits allow people to be more resilient or cause them to be averse to resilience.  Janet uncovers how personality traits are formed and the effect our environment has on our personalities. Janet poses examples and scenarios to paint the picture of the role our environment plays in creating our personality traits.Through her research, Janet has found solutions to shift your personality traits to improve your resilience. She outlines the weight physical health has on our resilience and encourages listeners

I sit down with a very special guest, Shirley Barnes, who shares her story of mental and physical abuse and molestation. Shirley explains that through her experience with abuse, she’s realized the importance of speaking up and speaking out against abuse when it happens.Unfortunately, Shirley, like so many others, experienced sexual abuse and molestation at a young age that continued into her teenage years. Shirley touches on these instances of molestation that she endured throughout her childhood. Shirley explains her abusive home situation throughout her youth and how it contributed to her molestation and the perception she had of the sexual abuse she faced. She admits the guilt she feels for not speaking up to ensure that sexual abuse wasn’t imposed on others.She delves into her past and the mental abuse inflicted upon her from her mother which led to abandonment issues that continue to affect her now. Shirley explains how certain coping mechanisms have manifested within her as a direct result of the sexual

Welcome to the Speak LOUD Podcast! This podcast was created to share stories of survival of abuse. Focusing on hope, resilience, and empowerment.  Tiffany will be sharing her story of overcoming abuse as well as interviewing other survivors throughout the country sharing their stories of TRIUMPH and RESILIENCE. Too often people let the abuse define them instead of empower them. Tiffany hopes that through listening to this podcast other survivors of abuse will find hope in the stories shared. Realizing they are not alone in what they went through. Please be sure to SHARE THE MOVEMENT and SUBSCRIBE, LISTEN, RATE AND REVIEW this podcast. Let's end this EPIDEMIC one person at a time!