Hush: A Buffy Podcast

It's Halloween. In September! In the world of Buffy podcasting at least. Join us as we ask confusing questions like..."Is dead, room temperature or other?"   Join us as we (kind of) scold Buffy for championing 'sexy Halloween'. Join us for chat about My Little Pony, chaos, the vampire class system and lots more. Also, where is Joyce? WHERE THE HELL IS SHE??

Welcome to Reptile Boy. Welcome to the flaccid (frat boy) cock of patriarchy. A cock that needs supporting, and one that (of course) always gets support (boo). You'll hear criticism of Kent Preparatory School's PR department. You'll hear John be very confused (and wrong) about what Buffy does or doesn't find. You'll hear us (almost, kind of?) stick up for Xander. And you'll hear chat about the insanely fast (or insanely efficient) judicial system in Sunnydale. We should also warn our lovely listeners that there is (unavoidable) talk about date rape in this episode. So please tread carefully. x

So, finally, we're over the rainbow and in the land of Oz. Beautiful Oz. Tiny Oz. But there's more. There's drunken-robo-Joyce and the blood she has on her hands. There's your hosts getting mixed up about centuries. And there's lengthy discussion about the pluses and minuses of being a sentient mummy.

It's the character we've all been waiting for. Miss Edith! She's here, she's porcelain, and she's not invited to the party (naughty girl). Oh, and there are some other new vamps who are kinda cool, I guess. Plus Joyce finally gets (non-boring) stuff to do. And I cry. And Jess cries. And Spike laughs. So strap your ears in. School is about to get hard.

Some Assembly Required? Some patience required more like. But some perspective required too. For though this may be something of a Frankenstein's monster of an episode - a dog's dinner made up of various slapped-together scraps - this is still season 2, folks. Lovely season 2. Magical season 2. And the only way is up from here. But we still have the big fun talking about necrophilia, Sarah Palmer, graveside picnics, inexplicable jackets and much more besides. So dive on in! It's 4th down and...something and the running guy is gonna...punt the timeout into the endzone. Or something. Go, Sunnydale, go!

We're back! Rested. Refreshed. Rusty. And it's Season 2! When Buffy was bad. Or, sort of, a little bit naughty. Or, y'know, just a normal teenager, who'd suffered trauma. You'll hear the cartoon non-scariness of the skeleton form discussed. You'll hear Jess describe human beings as "skeleton robots covered in skin." And you'll hear Jess threaten to hang John upside-down. In the interests of science. Allegedly.

A special bonus ep! Where we collect our thoughts about the season that was season 1. Before casting those thoughts onto this pod. Using our mouths. Next week? Season 2! SQUEEE!! *both drop dead from over-excitement*

It's the end of all things. Or, more accurately, the end of the specific thing that is Season 1 of the television program Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Expect (literal) blood! Expect (literal) tears! Expect (unexpected) references to old Yellow Pages ads! Boo at stinky Xander. Cheer at awesome Buffy. Feel all the hots for Giles. Ask Willow for a raisin. It's 'Prophecy Girl'. And nothing will ever be the same (till next week).

We're shattered! We're knackered! We don't know if we're out of sight, or out of mind. Or both. Or neither. So please forgive us for the rather thrown together nature of this week's offering. Files got corrupted. Possibly by Moloch. Possibly by John. But we kept on keeping on. Then went to bed. Anyway, the main thing is that we have sexy Giles/Angel action! Those mystery legs are heating up nicely. Mmmmm. And, y'know, we repealed the shit out of the fucking 8th! Enjoy, hushcats.

Nightmares are becoming real! And maybe they are real. Or maybe they're not. We're confused and unsure. This one is stuffed with...stuff. Little House on the Prairie. Twin Peaks. Judy Blume. Confusion about baseball terminology. And (of course) pigeon sex. It's got the lot. Stuff it in your ears.

Welcome back! It's episode 9 of the show that's all about dignity, and human feelings, and...personal hygiene or something. We've got Snyder (Yay!). We've got Xander not being an arsehole (Yay!). We've got the return of Joyce (Yay?). And we've got Jess insulting librarians and gallery owners (Boo!). Enjoy, Hushcats!  

If you're not jacked in...you're not alive! So...jack in immediately! Jack in to the matrix. Jack in to your TV. Jack in to potatoes. And clouds. And bunnies. And the kitchen table. Jack in to everything (this instant) if you want to be alive! More importantly, jack in to this - the latest episode of Hush. Where Jess and John take you on a not-so-educational tour of late 90s cyberculture, while sharply criticising the Scooby Gang's frivolous attitude to tragic student death. Pop it in your ear-holes, Hushcats. x

Hear Jess and John natter (at length) about a key episode that's so key it might as well be a...giant key. And not an episode of a TV show. Which is, y'know, what it ultimately is. Hear the gross incompetence of The Three discussed. Hear John do a PERFECT impression of drug-addled Joyce. Hear Jess lose her shit over a library sign. Hear talk of bras in bed and Angel's property portfolio. And hear Jess try and settle the ancient philosophical conundrum of the true nature of age (at least we think that's what she's doing). Enjoy, Hushcats!                

It's episode 6! 'The Pack'! Where John doesn't know his Gifts from his Crafts. Where Xander is, again, chastised most severely. Where the Malleus Maleficarum is compared to the Daily Mail. And where Noah (the bible fella) is called a fictional prick. Stick it in your ears.

Hope? It's the thing with feathers (according to Emily Dickinson at least). Owen? He's the pretentious (and featherless) thing with a gormless face you really want to slap. It's Episode 5! "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date"! Where we chatter about: inner sanctums (ooer), sackfuls of imitation gold watches, the Brotherhood of Colin-a-likes and the ongoing tosspottery of Xander. All the while wondering - where the blinking flip is Joyce?!

Join us for the sad (and brutally cut short) tale of Dr. Virgin MD (the Doc who couldn't tell an ant from a beetle). Otherwise known as, "Teacher's Pet". And it's (probably) better than you remember! Or, at least, John thinks so. Fruity language in this one, folks. So if you're the type that easily swoons then best listen on a fainting couch. Where to find us: Our website Twitter Evil Facebook Instagram

No vamps? No Angel? No Darla? No Colin? (sob) What's going on?! Well, nasty witchcraft is going on. And Buffy's gotta stop it. While singing Macho Man. Expect more crappy Joyce parenting. Expect psychotic courier truck drivers. Expect much love for Amy. And expect Jess getting hot & bothered over that dreamy Mr. Giles. Episode 3, Slayerettes! Stick it in your earholes! For lots more, go to: buffypodcast.com/

Get out your scythes and sickles, baby, it's time for The Harvest! Actually, put them away. They look sharp. And pointy. And dangerous. Instead, listen to Jess and John talk about sexual sucking, unfair vampire hierarchies, the loveliness of Colin, blue balls, interrupted climaxes, and lots more! Episode 2, folks. It's (almost) orgasmic.  

In which your intrepid hosts - Jess and John - chat lots about Buffy the Vampire Slayer Episode 1, "Welcome to the Hellmouth." Join us as we criticise Joyce's parenting. As we 'admire' Angel's velvet coat. As we try to figure out if, like Giles, we'd choose a cup of Bovril over being stuck in The Bronze with a 90s post-grunge band.  Then go read our show notes at buffypodcast.com for more Buffy the Vampire Slayer bits and bobs.

Coming soon! Two people who love Buffy (lots) talk about Buffy (lots) into a microphone! Expect laughter! Expect tears! Expect frequent criticism of Joyce's parenting! First episode drops shortly, so go follow us (Jess & John) on Twitter - @hushcast - and on the Facebook thing. Byeeee!