What Are You Worried About?

This week, we spend a lot of time discussing early 2000s TLC specials about humans with horrifying diseases because Ric is real worried about turning into a tree man. The most irrational thing about that, obviously, is that he'd make a great tree.

This week, Sawyer worries about the kind of aliens with big grey heads, child-like bodies, and Ric-ish fingers, Carly spoils Moon, and Ric gets real into conspiracy theories.

This week, Carly is spooked in the shower, Sawyer's father becomes a Tickman, and Ric gets chiggers.

This week, Ric dumps on roller coasters, Carly goes to Kennywood, and Sawyer takes the best picture of his life on Splash Mountain.

This week, Sawyer worries about children because children are the worst and shan't be trusted in any circumstance. You know what else shan't be trusted? Lawnmowers.

Ric, Sawyer, and Carly open the floor to you guys this week, discussing (and hopefully exacerbating) three juicy listener-submitted worries.

This week, Carly jumps off of a bridge for her mother, Ric planks (but only recreationally), and Bean gets his doctorate in Cryptozoology.

This week, Ric worries about entrapment. Not about being captured at the hands of the authorities, or being swindled by the sly cunning of a enchanting woman. No, he's worried about getting stuck in an elevator that may or may not have vents, with a group of a strangers who are almost definitely going to have to watch him use the bathroom in the corner.

This week, Sawyer worries about his most upsetting preexisting condition: smell blindness. You might think he would worry most about things like his entire house blowing up at the slightest spark because he bumped the gas on while eating peanut butter tortillas over his sink like an animal. But mostly, Sawyer just worries about being a stink boi.

This week, Carly worries about murky waters, Megalodan sharks, and luxury cruise ships. Ric details the plot of a movie he's never seen and is swept away by the marvels of a magician. Fiery, blue flames of lightning shoot from the tips of Sawyer's fingers—twice.

A lot of decisions were made this week. Ric decided that he'd make a great cult leader, Sawyer decided that all ghost sightings are garbage, and Carly decided that she's probably a medium.

This week, Sawyer reveals that he can hear his bones talking to him, Ric is swindled by some vape shop boys, and Carly talks about her sinus holes and inherited witch elbows. We also worry about becoming the old people who hold cell phones with two hands.

Carly worries about unsecured loads, Ric gets exasperated, and Sawyer ruins his favorite pair of shorts. Also, radio bikes, red pickup trucks and Tulsa, Oklahoma.

This episode sure is a doozie. It's not like any of the other episodes you're going to hear, probably. We don't know. Sawyer talks about how he's rich and good-looking and isn't afraid of prison, Ric regales us with a tragic tale of innocence lost, and Carly smashes her face on a piano bench.