If These Ovaries Could Talk

Robin Maril—law professor, former Human Rights Campaign attorney, and host of A Queer Guide to Saving Democracy—joins us for a conversation that starts with queer family life and IVF… and expands into what’s happening in the U.S. right now.We talk about LGBTQ+ families, donor conception, and parenting in the LGBTQ+ community—plus the real LGBTQ+ family challenges that come with raising kids in today’s political climate.This is one of those gay podcast stories that holds both the deeply personal and the very real.Biggest Takeaway? Raise good kids. Stay engaged. Be a Care Bear.

This week’s episode is a little different—and very real.When a scheduled guest wasn’t ready to share their story, Jaimie and her wife Anne stepped in for an impromptu, unfiltered check-in on their own lives. Recorded in the middle of family chaos (kids awake past bedtime, dog whining, one shared mic…), this episode is exactly what queer family life actually looks like behind the scenes.They open up about Anne’s breast cancer journey—from diagnosis in December 2024 through chemo, surgery, radiation, and ongoing targeted treatment—and where things stand now: finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.It’s honest, messy, funny, and full of love—the kind of conversation that reminds you you’re not alone in the hard stuff.

Jaimie sits down with fellow podcaster Jameel Mayers, host of Fathernetics, to talk about his journey to fatherhood through the foster-to-adopt system.Jameel shares the emotional realities of fostering, the challenges of navigating agencies as a queer couple, and the moment they met their son, Jacob, who would eventually become their forever child. Together, they explore the complexities of trauma-informed parenting, open communication, and raising kids with confidence and self-awareness.The conversation also dives into how queer parents challenge societal norms, why representation matters, and how intentional parenting can shape the next generation.

Jaimie sits down with Daniel Berezowsky to talk about his and his husband’s journey to parenthood through surrogacy — and how their work in human rights shaped every step.They share the emotional and financial realities of IVF, choosing an egg donor, and waiting to be matched with a surrogate, along with the surprising lessons they learned along the way — including letting go of assumptions and expanding what family can look like.A thoughtful, honest conversation about queer family building, intention, and hope.

What happens when the life you built no longer fits who you are — or the world no longer feels safe for your family? In this episode, Jaimie sits down with TJ Shimeld to talk about coming out after marriage, building an unconventional but beautiful co-parenting relationship with his ex-wife, raising a transgender daughter, and ultimately making the life-changing decision to leave the U.S. for Spain.It’s a conversation about identity, reinvention, grief, freedom, LGBTQ family experiences, and what it means to finally build a life that feels aligned. TJ shares how the 2016 election marked the beginning of a deep unraveling of the “American dream” he thought he was supposed to want — and how that unraveling eventually led him, his husband, and his daughter Opal to a more peaceful, affirming life abroad.

What does it really take to build a family through surrogacy as a same sex couple? In this episode, Jaimie sits down with attorney and dad Alexander Paykin to talk about his family’s surrogacy journey, the many unexpected twists along the way, and the legal realities queer parents need to understand before getting started.Alexander shares how he and his husband chose an egg donor, what surprised them most about the surrogacy process, and why so much of queer family building comes down to preparation, paperwork, and knowing the laws in the right states at the right time. They also get into parentage orders, second-parent adoption, and just how complicated the legal side of having a baby the queer way can be.It’s a conversation full of practical insight, real-life experience, and a powerful reminder that LGBTQ+ parents are some of the most intentional parents out there.

Robert and Shannon are “two regular degular schmegular queers” who went from friends… to dating… to buying sperm in just a few months (yes, it’s as lesbian as it sounds). In this episode, they share what it looked like to build a family as a cisgender woman and a transgender man, including the realities of trans fertility, the complicated emotions around fertility preservation, and the deeply values-based way they chose a sperm donor: not for height or Ivy League degrees — but for happiness.We also talk about raising a donor-conceived toddler with openness from day one, why donor conception is a “muscle” you build with practice (and books), and the moment their two-year-old asked a question that proved it was all starting to click: “Were you there?” Plus: PCOS, the IUI-to-IVF pivot, ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS), a successful transfer, and what they’re considering as they think about baby #2.

Building a family didn’t happen the way Sarah and her wife Beth originally imagined. What began as a straightforward plan unfolded into miscarriage, multiple rounds of IUI, IVF, and ultimately the realization that neither of them could use their own eggs. They share what it meant to pivot again and again — and how they ultimately welcomed their 13-year-old twin boys through both an egg donor and a sperm donor.They also talk about approaching donor conception transparency from day one (including Sarah writing her kids a personalized storybook before they were even born), and how puzzles became an unexpected antidote to doomscrolling during politically heavy times — eventually inspiring Artfelt, a puzzle company that commissions and pays LGBTQ+ and BIPOC artists.

Jaimie sits down with Hilde Festerling—queer mom, children’s writer, and the creator of the all-ages “barnyard gothic” audio drama podcast The Goat American Novel. Hilde shares the story of coming out later in life, navigating an amicable divorce, and building a creative partnership with her girlfriend. The heart of the episode is how Hilde’s family used storytelling as a literal lifeline: writing and producing a full podcast with her kids (and extended family!) became a sacred space through adolescence, transition, and big family change—while also creating queer representation that can still feel accessible for kids in conservative environments.

Lex Beach is a lesbian mom of seven kids (ages 8–23), and her family-building story truly covers the waterfront: donor sperm, IUIs, donor sibling connections, parenting through divorce, blended family life, known-donor attempts, miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy, and ultimately IVF.Lex knew she wanted to be a mom from the jump—and at 22, she got pregnant (the gay way) right after college… with sperm her parents literally bought as a graduation gift. From there, the story only gets bigger: twins, more pregnancies, co-parenting across households, a queer Brady Bunch era, and hard-earned reflections on what helps queer relationships survive the parenting years.Also: Jaimie forgets to hit record (again), records with a sick kid at home (again), and we all learn why favorite animals are somehow always in donor profiles… but braces aren’t.

We were supposed to be dark this week… but instead, we popped in with a very special bonus episode. In this short, unscripted, slightly chaotic conversation, Jaimie is joined by longtime friend and collaborator Jose Rolón (aka @nycgaydad) to officially announce their brand-new podcast:

I’m putting this archived conversation back into the world because, like many of you, I’m feeling overwhelmed, angry, and honestly a bit helpless after the most recent ICE killing of Alex Pretti. When violence like this happens it can feel impossible to know where to put our grief or how to turn it into action. This episode with Marie Newman is a reminder that change doesn’t come from waiting to feel less scared—it comes from people who decide to show up anyway. Marie has gone the distance, personally and politically, and hearing from someone who has fought these fights before feels grounding right now. I hope it does for you too.ARCHIVED EPISODE:Marie Newman isn’t just an advocate—she’s a fighter. As a former Congresswoman from Illinois, she took on big fights for LGBTQ+ rights, healthcare equity, gun reform, and more. But her mission became personal when her daughter came out as transgender, propelling her even deeper into the fight for equality. In this episode, Marie shares her unexpected path to Congress

ARCHIVE (Recorded in 2024): Meet Shawndeez, a non-binary trans dad who shares their journey towards self-discovery and parenthood. Shawndeez discusses the challenges they faced as a queer and trans individual, their decision to pursue IVF and egg retrieval, and the importance of unconditional love in the parent-child relationship. Shawndeez also talks about their work supporting parents of trans children and the need for compassionate guidance in navigating the complexities of gender identity. Tune in for an inspiring and heartfelt conversation

This episode was recorded in 2020 and originally released under the show’s former name, If These Ovaries Could Talk. While Ranae von Meding’s family life may look a bit different today, the laws in Ireland have not meaningfully changed—and many same-sex parents are still fighting for full legal recognition and protection for their children.At eight months pregnant, Ranae von Meding learned a shocking truth: after the birth of her child, her wife Audrey would not be legally recognized as a parent under Irish law—even though they were married, and even though Audrey is the genetic parent.In this archival episode (recorded in 2020), Ranae shares how she and Audrey built their family through reciprocal IVF abroad, the exhausting workarounds required when care isn’t fully accessible at home, and why Irish law has left many LGBTQ+ families in precarious legal territory. She also explains what it looks like to fight back—through advocacy, organizing, and Equality for Children, a campaign centered on one core message

This episode originally aired back when the show was called If These Ovaries Could Talk, hosted by Jaimie Kelton and Robin Hopkins — before the show evolved into The Queer Family Podcast.Over the years, I’ve had countless listeners reach out asking the same thing: “Can you connect me with Emily and Sara? I want to learn how they shipped fresh sperm.” So I’m resurfacing this conversation because yes — it can work. And since this episode first aired, Emily and Sara have helped many others create their families using the same method.In this archival episode, Emily and Sara share the truly unforgettable story of how they made a baby by shipping fresh sperm to Northern Canada, using test yolk buffer, precise temperature control, and the kind of coordination that can only come from a very committed family — including Sara’s brother Justin, one of her quadruplet siblings and their known donor.Between COVID travel restrictions, cargo flights to remote communities, DIY temperature experiments, and more than a few logi

As we head into a new year, we’re revisiting a very special episode — and carrying those Pride vibes forward with us.This episode originally aired as the finale of our very first Pride Extravaganza, where all month long (and a little beyond) we doubled up on Queer Family goodness with incredible guests and powerful stories.For this grand finale, I asked every single Pride Extravaganza guest one simple but loaded question: What does Pride mean to you?What you’ll hear is a moving compilation — a beautiful quilt of voices reflecting on Pride as visibility, self-love, family, community, resistance, joy, responsibility, and hope. These answers will absolutely give you the feels.Let this episode be your reminder as we move forward together: Pride is every day. Stay proud of who you are. Stay proud of your differences. Stay proud of your uniqueness. And keep showing up — unapologetically.We’re here. We’re queer. We make families. And we make beautiful, intentional families.Happy Pride — always.

Before The Queer Family Podcast had its name, it began as If These Ovaries Could Talk—a show Jaimie launched with original co-host Robin Hopkins.In this very first episode, Robin interviews Jaimie and her wife Anne as they share the real-time story of building their family as a lesbian couple: unexpected infertility, choosing a sperm donor, navigating IUI and IVF, and the emotional and financial reality of trying to have a second child.At the time, they couldn’t find many podcasts that talked honestly about queer fertility and LGBTQ+ family building—so they made the show they needed.This is an archival re-release of the episode that started it all, capturing the very beginning: pregnant, overwhelmed, hopeful, and figuring it out as they went.Archival note: Originally released as Episode 1 of If These Ovaries Could Talk (Pre-TQFP). Audio quality and language reflect the time it was recorded.

Jaimie talks with Naia, founder of Be Parent Surrogacy, about international surrogacy options, what intended parents can expect when working with an agency, and how Be Parent supports LGBTQIA+ families with transparency, ethics, and hands-on care. Naia also shares her own IVF story and her real-time sperm donor search—including why she’s choosing to freeze embryos as a future “insurance policy.

Anish & Miguel are two dads in Berlin who recently welcomed their son, Alexander, through agency-based surrogacy. And listen — some of us (cough… Jaimie… cough) approached queer family building with good vibes and very few spreadsheets. But THESE TWO? Absolute meticulous gay dad excellence. From cross-country agency visits, to karyotype testing, to annual goal-setting (“become parents” was literally on the list!), Anish and Miguel walk us through the entire surrogacy process with clarity, honesty, and so much heart. This episode is truly a surrogacy masterclass — a must-listen for anyone exploring this path.

Sam & Laura Abbey are BACK, y’all. The last time they were on the show it was still called If These Ovaries Could Talk, they only had one kid, and their Bravo reality show moment had just helped catapult them into queer family-building visibility.Seven years and two very boy-ish boys later, we’re catching up on IVF paid out of pocket (twice), using the same sperm donor for both kids, what happens when you over- or under-buy sperm, and yes—having to literally sign paperwork to “dispose” of a leftover vial while a straight guy wrestles with the “morality” of it.We get into raising sensitive, muddy, train-obsessed boys in a queer household that doesn’t subscribe to gender norms, ongoing origin-story conversations with their donor-conceived kids, giving boys permission to cry, and helping them navigate comments about pride flags and two-mom families. Plus, Laura shares her new project, Unseen, a queer millennial life podcast from Pink Robin Shop about art, culture, motherhood, and growing up queer with basica