Thanks For Sharing

Why do some people still get to you… even after you’ve done the work? It’s not just about “triggers.” And it’s not just about setting boundaries either. Sometimes it’s: – being around someone you don’t trust – navigating tension with someone you love – watching a relationship change in ways you didn’t expect – or trying to stay grounded when your past and present are both getting activated This episode is about something deeper than coping: How we build the capacity to stay connected to ourselves in relationships that feel complicated, unresolved, or emotionally charged. Because real healing isn’t: avoiding people or just getting through interactions It’s learning how to: – regulate instead of endure – stay grounded without shutting down – protect yourself without abandoning yourself If relationships have ever made you question yourself, second-guess your reactions, or feel like you lose access to who you are, this one will land.  Link in bio   Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a fut

Most people think lying is a choice. But for many people, it doesn’t even pass through conscious thought. It starts in the body.  A flush  A tightening  A sense of threat And the truth doesn’t feel like an option. In this episode, I talk about something I often say:  “I came by my dishonesty honestly.” Not to excuse it— but to understand it. Because for many of us:   Truth didn’t always feel safe Being fully seen felt risky And connection sometimes depended on what we didn’t say  And for partners? Dishonesty doesn’t just hurt. It makes you question reality.  Was any of this real?  Have they just been telling me what I want to hear? Wanting honesty isn’t controlling. It’s about trying to build a relationship on something real.  Here’s what I’ve learned: As the truth reveals itself, it can be very painful. But it also settles you. It settles your nervous system. Because you’re no longer trying to hold together something that doesn’t quite fit. If this resonates, this episode is for you.    Link in bio   Co

In this episode, I share a conversation I had as a guest on The Wholeness Network, where we talk about patriarchy—not as a buzzword, but as something that quietly shapes how we love, how we show up, and what we believe we’re allowed to need. This shows up in my work all the time: • men who were never taught emotional depth but are expected to create connection • women who carry the weight of relational responsibility • couples who personalize patterns that are actually bigger than both of them And here’s the tension: even when the system shaped us… healing is still personal. If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same relational patterns and couldn’t quite explain why—this conversation might give you language for that.  Full episode at the link in bio   The Wholeness Network link:  https://www.thewholenessnetwork.com/   Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode? You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shap

People don’t leave therapy because it’s not working. Sometimes they leave because it’s getting too close to what matters. And sometimes… they stay. But still feel like something is missing. You might: understand your patterns have more awareness even be making progress …but not actually feel different. That’s not failure. It’s the difference between insight and integration. In this episode, I talk about: why “being ready” isn’t enough why trauma work requires preparation, not just willingness how going too fast can actually reinforce the problem why addicts and betrayed partners need different pacing and why the relationship—not just the model—matters Healing doesn’t happen just because you go into the trauma. It happens when your system can stay open long enough for something new to take hold. If you’ve ever thought: “I’ve done a lot of work… so why does this still feel incomplete?” This episode is for you.  Link in bio Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode? You can

We keep asking: How could this happen? But maybe the better question is… Why are we still surprised? When the Epstein files resurfaced, I saw a lot of shock, even in professional circles. Names people admired. People who built identities around wisdom, healing, or influence. I texted my friend Rachel and asked, “Are you surprised?” Her response: “I am never surprised when a male spiritual guru, leader, or pastor turns out to be a sexual predator.” That stopped me.  Because I wasn’t surprised either. But what did surprise me was America’s response. Why does the conversation here so quickly become political, fragmented, or avoidant? Why do we focus on individuals instead of systems? Why do we struggle to hold power accountable—especially when it’s wrapped in wealth, status, or influence? In this episode, we explore: Why Americans may respond differently than other countries The psychology of protecting powerful people How systems (families, institutions, even nations) often protect themselves first And

Sometimes relationships fall into a confusing pattern.  Things feel connected for a while. Conversations are easier. You feel hopeful.  And then emotions show up: hurt, stress, vulnerability, and suddenly the other person shuts down. Many partners assume this means the person doesn’t care. But often what’s happening is something different. In this episode, Jackie talks about a pattern she sees frequently in couples called emotional cycling — when someone can access connection for a time but struggles to sustain it when emotional intensity increases. The good news is that emotional capacity can be learned.  Real intimacy doesn’t happen when emotions are avoided.  It happens when two people learn how to face them together.  Listen wherever you get your podcasts. https://www.speakpipe.com/ThanksForSharing Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode? You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conv

Recovery isn’t dramatic most of the time. It isn’t big breakthroughs. It isn’t intense motivation. It isn’t one powerful decision that fixes everything. It’s steady. It’s going to bed when you’d rather “steal time.” It’s feeling shame without escaping it.  It’s waking up at 3 a.m. and choosing not to spiral. It’s resisting the urge to future-trip and instead staying in this hour. It’s calling your spouse when you want to isolate. It’s saying, “I need to go through this,” instead of numbing it. Steady isn’t exciting. But steady builds resilience. And over time, what once felt haunting begins to quiet, not because life is perfect, but because you’re no longer running from yourself. Episode 357 is live. If you’re in the middle of the long game… this one is for you.    Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode? You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations.  https://thanksforsharingpod

What actually happens after sobriety begins? Many couples believe that once porn or addictive behaviors stop, the relationship should feel better right away. But for many people, that’s when a deeper layer of healing starts — emotional awareness, reconnecting with the authentic self, and learning how to rebuild safety, security, and trust. In this episode, I talk about what rebuilding really looks like — both individually and relationally.  Sobriety removes secrecy — but reconnection grows through emotional presence, consistency, and learning how to show up differently with each other over time. If you’re in the stage where recovery has begun but the relationship still feels fragile, this conversation is for you.  Have a question or something you’d like me to talk about in a future episode? You can call the show and leave a voicemail or send me an email — I love hearing from you, and your feedback helps shape these conversations.  https://thanksforsharingpodcast.my.canva.site/thanks-for-sharing-links

What happens to the self when parts of life begin living in secrecy? In this episode of the Thanks for Sharing podcast, we move beyond behavior and beyond relationship impact to explore how porn can shape identity, emotional development, and connection. We talk about: • how compartmentalization forms in the brain and nervous system • why dopamine can reinforce a “secret self” • what young men need to understand about relational risk and resilience • how partners often sense misalignment long before discovery • the difference between shame and responsibility • and how healing begins through development of the authentic self This episode is part of an ongoing series: Episode 1 — Regulation & the brain Episode 2 — Relational impact & betrayal Episode 3 — Development of the self (this episode)  Have a question or thought? I’ve added a place in my Linktree where you can send a message or leave a voicemail for a future episode. (you can stay anonymous)  Listen now — link in bio. #ThanksForSharingPodcast #Au

  In this episode, we explore how porn reshapes relationships, not just behavior. We talk about how porn: quietly reorganizes relationships around absence impacts the partner’s nervous system and sense of safety often feels like cheating, even when there’s no physical affair contributes to loneliness, emotional withdrawal, and loss of self in partners shapes expectations of intimacy and attitudes toward women creates predictability that looks like safety—but isn’t We also explore why time alone doesn’t build security in relationships and why repair, not perfection, actually creates safety. This conversation isn’t about blame or shame.  It’s about understanding why things feel the way they do and what helps people rebuild capacity for intimacy, presence, and connection. Whether you’re navigating porn use, supporting a partner, or trying to make sense of distance in your relationship, this episode offers language for experiences that are often difficult to name.   

In this episode, we explore why porn is so compelling, why willpower usually fails, and why intelligent, caring people struggle with it even when it conflicts with their values or relationships. This conversation moves beyond shame and into understanding how novelty, dopamine, attachment, and emotional regulation intersect, and why real change starts with compassion, not control.  

We recorded this episode planning to talk about current events, and the conversation didn't go exactly where we planned, and that's why it matters.  Instead, we found ourselves talking about how people are actually living inside all of this, the personal experiences and stories that impact us.   Politics. Gender. Fear. Fatigue. Misunderstanding.    This wasn’t a debate.  It was a conversation about what it costs us to stay polarized — and what it might take to repair.    What part of this conversation stayed with you the most?  Where do you feel the divide showing up in your own life — relationships, family, friendships?

It sounds reasonable. It sounds like: • “This makes sense.” • “This is normal.” • “I already know why I do this.” In this episode, I explore how rationalization and minimization quietly protect comfort, certainty, and the need to feel right — especially for smart, thoughtful people.

Defensiveness doesn’t always look like anger. Sometimes it looks like minimizing, mocking, dismissing, or explaining things away. In this episode, I talk about: • why people get defensive • how avoidance can be loud or quiet • how to respond without escalating • and the red flags that mean a boundary has been crossed If you’ve ever felt shut down for asking a real question, this one’s for you.

Rachel and I talk about why so many of us feel pressure to know what comes next, and how real change tends to happen without announcements. We explore how moves, family dynamics, and internal shifts quietly reorient us long before we name them. If you’re entering this year without goals or certainty, this conversation offers permission to slow down.  Listen now.  

As this year comes to a close, there’s pressure to reflect, resolve, and reset.  But not everything we live through gets neatly wrapped up.  In this episode, I talk about what it means to move forward without closure, why waiting for it can keep us stuck, and how grief, loss, and complicated family dynamics shape what we carry and what we lay down. This isn’t an episode about resolutions. It’s about honesty.  About integration.  About letting a year end without forcing meaning too soon.

When one partner grows faster, it doesn’t mean the relationship is failing.   Uneven healing is one of the most painful dynamics couples face. One partner finds language, boundaries, and insight. The other is still trying to feel safe. This episode isn’t about who’s “ahead.” It’s about how healing actually unfolds, and how couples stay connected when growth isn’t synchronized. Because growth isn’t a competition, and pressure isn’t intimacy. If this feels familiar, this episode is for you. Listen, reflect, and notice what lands.  

In this episode, we go into the identity shifts that happen in relational recovery, for betrayed partners, for CPTSD survivors, and for the partners who are healing from addiction or avoidance.   When recovery is real, identity shifts happen beneath the surface. And they can feel terrifying, confusing, and unfamiliar, even when they’re healthy     If you’ve ever felt your body tense even when your partner is doing everything right… This episode explains why.     If you’ve ever felt scared by something that was actually good… this is for you.  Save & share.  Full episode in bio.  

   Have you ever made a decision or taken a step in your healing that terrified you, only to realize later it was the best thing you've ever done? Today we’re talking about why healing so often feels uncomfortable, why your brain resists the exact things that help you grow, and how to tell the difference between the discomfort that sets you free and the discomfort that keeps you stuck.       In this episode, Jackie unpacks The Discomfort Paradox—the surprising truth that the hardest, scariest parts of healing are often the ones that finally move us forward.    If this episode stirred something in you—an old story, a new awareness, or a pattern you’re finally ready to shift—take a moment to ask yourself:   Is this discomfort healing or harmful? That single question can change your trajectory. If this episode resonated with you, share the episode with someone who might need it today.

Family roles aren't personality traits.  They are survival strategies.  In this episode, Jackie talks about how these roles form within the Child Self, the Adaptive Child Self, and the Functional Adult Self framework. And how healthy families do it differently.   If you grew up in a role you’re trying to outgrow, if you lose your Adult Self around family, and if you’re trying to break generational patterns, this episode is for you.  This episode will help you understand why you became who you had to be,  and how to become who you want to be now.