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So, I guess this is a thing again. Which, you know, not really a terrible thing, per se. For instance, we could have started hanging out with the “wrong crowd,” joined a punk band, taken up skin popping sweet lady H, maybe get a neck tattoo and some LINKS! The movie I was trying to […]

WHOA! Didn’t see you there! With your come-hither eyes and your sensuous, pouting plumber’s crack. Of all the gin joints in all the jointed gins in all the Ginny Joiner jointed ginger geiger jo-jo j…j…gah. I’m really out of practice with this. Anyway, here’s your links or whatever. I guess. Lourde Lourde look who’s for…teen? […]

Whoa. I mean WHOA. What the hell happened? The last thing I remember is July, and heat and primaries, and the next thing you know, Mitt Romney’s waiting tables in Disneyland and we’re up for another four years of that nice Kenyan man running the country. Cocaine’s a hell of a drug, folks, and so […]

NO, not really. And I didn’t even ride the Oregon Trail (though I did see a trail marker). Unless I-80 was a big part of the Oregon Trail, I’m not really sure. But we do have a show! One that consists almost exclusively of me telling Pat all about my time abroad, in shitty cars, […]

So, we’re here. Again. I know, it’s been like 2 months and your lives are hollow and empty without us. That’s okay, because we’re here now, with our dulcet tones, and LINKS! That Obama. So out of touch. Wait, I mean Mitt. Mitt’s out of touch.  Screw it. Do we really want another president who’s […]

We’re not dead yet! We’re feeling better! Because of the big jug of bottom-shelf, plastic-bottle gin and a big ol’ spoonful of LINKS! You thought I was joking. Bud’s at it again! Seriously, though, fuck that kid. I’ve wanted a foul ball all my life. You don’t see me crying. Meanwhile, in the Republican primaries… BOOOOOOOOOOOM! […]

And really, who does? Communists. Communists want scurvy. And LINKS! Mittens whipped Newt like one-armed by-the-hour S&M hooker that was parked in a loading zone. And then went and won a primary. Why doesn’t anyone like Mitt? Is it the hair? Is it the fake smile? Is it the unsubstantiated rumor that I’m starting that he’s going […]

What is there to say, really?  We spent far too much time talking about politics.  Politics bore you?  You don’t really follow it?  Well, isn’t that special.  Skip to about the 45 minute mark and you can hear us talking about porn stars in Vegas and then you can keep on ignoring the crazy elephant […]

The best part of the holidays is all the carbs. The other day I was eating a doughnut at work, when a coworker brought in a pie, and another coworker brought in a cake. This resulted in the best/worst sandwich in the history of mankind, right up there with the time Chris Dodd and Teddy […]

Christmas trees. Is there anything better than a really good Christmas tree? With the lights twinkling, the ornaments glinting, the squirrel that was hidden in the boughs of the tree chirping merrily as it chews on the extension cords a la Christmas Vacation, the sap that gets in your hair and makes you look like […]