Wikifreaks

Exactly like Joaquin Phoenix in 2010, WikiFreaks is back from a mysterious and deeply concerning hiatus and, also exactly like Joaquin Phoenix, readier-than-ever to quickly skim half a Wikipedia article before confidently explaining how to avoid bear attacks. Join Syd and Rach this week as they dish llama drama, llearn some Llatin, and llament the absence of Woody Harrelson in any film not featuring Woody Harrelson. Meet your favorite sleuths in Free Association Corner, pack your cargo shorts in case things get romantic, and queue up your favorite episode of 'Guns, Guns, Guns with Rachel Gaffin and That Other Lady' because we're cracking cases and taking names in part one of WikiFreaks' series on Unnatural Disasters.  

"The beginning" philosophizes Plato, "is the most important part of the work."   "The beginnings of all things," writes Cicero, "are small."   "My partner," waxes Miranda Kerr, "is very traditional."   This week, Rach and Syd are talking origin stories, listing every flavor of La Croix in vocal fry, saying the word "ascot" twenty-nine times, and reading two Wikipedia articles that actually contain no origin story whatsoever. Forget everything you know about back-to-school party etiquette because we're moseying back to mid-century Bronx for the birth of hip-hop, and stop kissing on T.V. for a hot second so we can discuss the dawn of Hollywood censorship-- let's do a single Google search and get started.

Once quoth the great thinker Tyra Banks-- "Go west, young man." So grab your gramophones, a trashcan, and some money for a dog, because we're taking her words to heart and going on a trip. In an episode broadcast from an undisclosed location, join Syd, Rach, and special guest Will "Julian Assange" Dickinson as they pack up the two shirts they brought and unpack the logistic intricacies of the German roadtrip, consider the relative legitimacy of Scandinavian time travel stories, and accidentally do a lot of ayahuasca. Buckle up, and start peddling.

Love apple pie and Vermont's vibrant autumnal foliage? Got a tepid curiosity about poltergeists? Seeking detailed information about how to commit the perfect murder? You've come to the right place, as long as you're well versed in complicated legal jargon and wiling to invest complete trust in the discernment of sleuth and little bespectacled puppy, Helen Ackley of Nyack, New York. Join Rach and Syd as they discuss the proper way to eat dessert and kill drifters in an episode that will probably be used as legally admissible courtroom evidence in the foreseeable future. 

Join your hosts for a thrilling jaunt down history's most mysterious parkway, Abbey Road, and gallop right through the Geyer family estate, Graceland. Is Elvis alive, and did he have an un-credited part in Home Alone? Is Paul McCartney dead, and does his body double sound like a combination between Harry Potter's Uncle Vernon and Grover from Sesame Street? We've got answers, and the answers are yes, no that was Paul Giamatti, yes, and yes. Another week, another step closer to cracking this thing wide open.

This week, join Rach and Sydney as they unpack the most salacious historical gossip this side of the DarkWeb. In this episode, you'll learn why the working title for your memoir, The Gorgeous Hussy, has already been taken and how you can make most efficient use of your wooden leg in terms of espionage. From discussion about smokin' Greek hotties to theories surrounding castration on the floor of the Senate, let's talk about some ye olde bad behavior.