The Upgruv Podcast

Chris and Rob headed off to a press screening of "Jedi," and what they came back with is amazing. Jill is dumbfounded at the amount of Star Wars crap she has to endure, seeing as she just not a fan. It all comes to a head in the first-half season finale. 25 min.

On a very special Christmas episode, the gang goes caroling through the streets of Pittsburgh, singing their favorite holiday songs and even some they hate. But when Mike Brady is trapped inside a high rise under construction, Carol has to sing him to safety. It's a Christmas miracle. 21 min.

The gang commiserate about how everyone has gone all gangbusters with the Christmas season. Meanwhile, Jill binge shops on Cyber Monday while Rob and Chris debate whether to declare Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" the greatest Christmas song of all time. 20 min.

There's trouble afoot as the gang heads into downtown Pittsburgh to catch Light Up Night. Jill can't help start shopping, while Rob and Chris have to struggle through the crowds for the best spot to catch the fireworks. Les Nesman tries to interview all of them. 22 min.

Rob sneaks Jill and Chris into the movies, where they test out the new D-Box seats. But when one of them farts during the movie, they're forced to text Mr. Drysdale for help. 21 min.

When Jill goes on vacation, Rob and Chris decide to go trick-or-treating with their neighbor, Meghan. However, their love of Halloween candy is challenged by Meghan's healthy lifestyle. The boys end up in trouble after egging Mrs. Babish's house. 23 min.

Jill's shopping spree to find pants ends in success, while Rob's lawn-mowing business takes a hit when he's injured. Chris finds himself the unlikely advocate for pole dancing as an Olympic sport, but Sergeant Carter is having none of it. 22 min.

When Jill skips out on donuts because there's no drive-thru, Rob and Chris make it a mission to get her out and about. But Rob can't help but spend too much, while Chris has a run-in with an early Christmas shopper. 22 min.

The gang is pretty torn up over the death of rocker Tom Petty. To make themselves feel better, they head down to the Regal Beagle for a few drinks and talk about Pittsburgh celebrities — still alive — that they would be most sad to lose. 19 min.

Jill and Rob have to deal with a mixed up food order on a road trip to Penn State, while Chris takes his date on the Log Jammer hoping for some alone time. Mr. Kotter ends up treating the gang to Gobbleritos as his fall treat. 22 min.

When Jill goes on a beach vacation, Chris and Rob are left to their own devices. After crashing an Oktoberfest bash, the boys attend a late-night "Star Wars" screening that turns incredibly awkward when the theater mistakenly shows porn. Needless to say, Mrs. Garrett is not too happy with them. 21 min.

The gang's up to their usual hijinks in the second season opener. Rob develops a crazy obsession with clowns, which makes for some awkward moments with Chris and Jill. But when Mr. Furley shows up unexpectedly, things really get silly. 22 min.

Sometimes, you have to let the girls hang out. Whether you want to or not — and that's all to do with the dangers of wearing a romper to Kennywood. But that just scratches the surface of the insanity Rob, Chris and Jill get into in the latest upgruv podcast. The other fun stuff: Construction in Pittsburgh — and the test we all need to keep our roads safe. First dates at the movies — and why you should just not do it. Suing that first date if she turns out to be a rabid texter. The dangers of wearing a romper — and worse, wearing it to Kennywood. Baby Kessel — is there anything cuter? Big Ben at the Pens game — and the unfortunate GIF that resulted from it. Best burger — how do you like it best? With Rob Rossi, Chris Pastrick and Jill Leonard.

No better words have been spoken to make for a great episode title: "Two Cheeks and a Crack." And, yeah, it means what you think it means. See, we were talkin' about the @CheekyExploits account on Instagram. And Jill just didn't think it was a good idea. And there was plenty else to talk about: It's mittens weather; the man-purse; Rob bought a bike. Too bad he forgot he didn't know he didn't know how to ride one; Beers. Lots of beer. Lots; WTF is up with portions?; Does everything have to have cheese?; Unicorns and mermaids; Drinking milk that's two weeks out of date; The Frork; Why doesn't Pittsburgh like Uber?; We couldn't love the James Conner pick any more than we do. With Rob Rossi, Jill Leonard and Chris Pastrick.    

Damn, we have some weird AF dreams. Jill's obviously been thinking about Phil Kessel again. Then again, maybe it's her brown water. Any way you look at it, it's pretty messed up. And that's just the start of what we're talkin' about this week: Whore baths; the cost of Wendy Bell's thanks; drinking on the job; Gilligan's Island: Ginger or Mary Ann; "Jan was a bitch" on "Brady Bunch"; fun killing people on the Oregon Trail; wtf happened to our old-school NES?; freaky dreams about Phil Kessel; body ink; that Monroeville strip mall nude model; strippers are very intelligent; things we'd like to see Rick Sebak do.    

First of all, we're just sick of this giraffe cam — it's fake news. But more importantly, we riff on Russian dogs, our Internet search histories, baker's porn (you read that correctly), Rocky III vs. Rocky IV (which is better), ordering our toilet paper from Amazon, how to properly eat Chex mix, why people hate white chocolate, how Michael Keaton throws shade, picturing Rob naked (except for socks), how Jill's never been naked outside and chimp poo. It's a packed house, kids.

Look, we don't like Elmo. OK, Rob and Chris don't like Elmo; Jill kinda has a soft spot for the little red dude. But he took out Grover, and we don't like it. What else? Well, we bang on "The Gong Show," we spend time on awkward and uncomfortable children's books, talk about friendly Canadians, debate Monopoly board flippers, discuss NFL players going to proms, going on blind dates set up by a nun, reflect on disturbing photos of us in high school, talk about Pittsburgh's link in the Bill Cosby trial and hear Jill's incredible tale of gassing up her new car with diesel. It's good times.

This time out, we start off by sharing some Lenten secrets — like how you can keep your promise to give stuff up. Things turn a bit less religious when we talk about St. Patrick's Day drinks that can help you handle the holiday. Things get creepy when we touch on Garfield's true sex. That turns into some disturbing talk about Snoopy, Tweety Bird and the Road Runner. We also tackle all-pink Starburst and other great ideas we have for our favorite snacks — from Mega Stuff Oreos to Chex Mix, the pluses of McDonald's home delivery, the trail of chicken nuggets in Jill's bedroom, what the hell is happening to David Letterman, the many slang terms for having sex, and the Florida city website that turned to porn.  

When you start out talking about a cat's bloody vulva, you know you're in for trouble. You'd think we would have learned better by now, but ... we're slow learners. We're happy as hell that Jill's cat is OK, and even happier that we're not the ones who have to put cream on the animal's lady parts. From there, it's just more moving through the wormhole: "The Birdcage," Disney's animated movies, Pittsburgh's place on the big and small screens, the weird thing about "The Naked Gun" movies, feeling our age now that the '90s are having its 20th anniversary, swear words by state, the merits of pineapple on pizza, what the hell does Rob have against cheese?, morning sex and those dirty dirty pop songs.

Nothing kills our buzz like tainted medical marijuana. And we just can't have that. In the latest podcast, the upgruv team takes on the poison in the well. What else? Well, the Super Bowl was fun (unless you were a Falcons fan), but it's really the commercials that a lot of folks tune in for. This year, not only were the pickins slim, they gave it all away too soon. The upgruv team also gets to talking about that and plenty of other stuff, including: Selfies at funeral homes, winter drinks you can make at home, abolishing Valentine's Day altogether — and Rob's secret sex lair (eww), the trouble with getting 3 inches of your penis chopped off, sex-toy bingo, and possible Cheetos formations