Is Child-free For Me?

Listen to our lively couples’ interview with George and Anne. This couple has chosen to remain anonymous for professional reasons so, their names have been changed to honor this request. George and Anne are in their mid to late 40’s and have been together for more than two decades. They seem to share a beautiful friendship and fulfilling partnership. They are both very loving, fun and open individuals who are honest about their feelings and how they came to their decision on children. However, children play a large role in their lives with them being heavily involved in their nieces and nephew’s lives. Hear how child and early adulthood experiences shaped their views on what they want for their marriage and life together.   The views, information, or opinions expressed during the “Is Child-Free For Me?” podcast are solely those of the individuals involved and do not represent any professional advice dispensed by the hosts, Jill Brenner (social worker) and Saira John (psychologist). The podcast hosts happen to

Here’s our exciting interview with Tanya Williams, businesswoman, digital marketing expert and author of the #1 rated book, “A Child Free Happily Ever After.” Tanya comes to us all the way from Brisbane, Australia. She found our podcast through an internet search and decided to contact us to make a connection based on our mutual interest in the childfree discussion. Tanya’s energy is so uplifting as she takes us on her journey through riveting storytelling and how she has manages her own expectations, relationships and the judgment received from others.   Her positive bent on everything woman-empowerment is also inspiring and a reminder of how we need to support one another versus scrutinize and judge. Tanya shares THE perfect comeback to anyone who asks why you’re not having kids. She had us in stitches with her unflinching take on how not having kids has been right for her but she remains affirming and positive toward others who choose more traditional routes. Her quote of “womanhood does not have to equal

Listen to our second couples’ interview with Sarah and Michael. They heard of our podcast via Tammy (from a previous episode) who is founder of a kids-free meet up social group that they belong to. Sarah and Michael are both involved in pharmaceuticals with Sarah being a pharmacy tech supervisor at a hospital and Michael is a pharmacist. Sarah is currently shifting careers to become a radiology technician, is back in school and notes this change wouldn’t be possible if they had kids in their lives. Both of them are 31 and have been married for less than a year. Sarah and Michael are self-proclaimed “introverts” but felt compelled to participate in our podcast because the topic is of great interest to them. We appreciate their willingness to share their story with our listeners and us.   When asked what has led them to decide they don’t want kids, it seems there wasn’t any pivotal event that definitively led them to this conclusion but rather an internal feeling that became stronger over time. Some of the prac

Beth Powers is a 32-year-old, married, designer and business owner. Jill and Beth first connected when she helped design Jill’s home. After their professional relationship ended, their connection continued on a personal level and they have since become good friends. Beth seems to have a Zen-like quality about her that instantly makes you feel at ease and comfortable. This must be one of the many reasons she is gifted at her job and able to manage the expectations of both spouses in what is often such an emotional process.   Beth describes her evolution from automatically thinking at age 22 that she’ll have kids to more doubt regarding the issue. Her story isn’t fully told as she is not completely sure of which way she will ultimately land on the child-free topic but believes she is more on the NOT side for now. She talks about the various aspects that give her pause regarding having kids and how her career demands a large amount of time and energy that she likes having. Her husband’s stance on not wanting to

Join us for our exciting first couples interview! This couple is fun, successful, worldly, intelligent and grounded. Theresa Wylie is a 38-year-old who works for a software company and she is married to 35-year-old Brian, who owns a software company. They have been married for 5 years and met on the dating website okcupid.com. When they completed their profiles on this site, one of their questions asked about their desire for kids. Both of them stated they didn’t want children. This particular question seemed to be grouped with other “deal breaker” questions. And, based on a mathematical algorithm, Brian and Theresa were deemed a match. Even though the “having kids” question alone wasn’t a determining factor in their match, it certainly played a role and helped to get that issue out-of-the-way before even meeting.   Theresa comes from a large, Catholic family where procreation is assumed after marriage. She noted her parents never gave her a hard time regarding not wanting kids but also don’t seem to fully un

Our interview with Rick Levinson, LCSW, is special for several reasons. Rick trained both of us in the therapeutic technique of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), which is something that has highly influenced our therapy practices and reinvigorated our passion for our work. Another reason this interview is a standout is because Rick has been married for several decades and has a 32-year-old son. So, he doesn’t fit the typical guest profile but he is definitely an advocate for those who have chosen the child-free life. His child-free beliefs come from his many years of work as a social worker and the themes he has gleaned from his professional experiences.  Rick, who is in his early 60’s, also reflects on his formative years and how child-free couples in his neighborhood were viewed and the impression that made on him. His take on this issue is one you have to hear! Rick is incredibly smart, well-spoken, thoughtful and direct in his message. You’ll leave this interview with the feel goods a

Our interview with Bill is filled with so many interesting twists and turns that you’ll be on the edge of your seat. He is a thoughtful individual who has formed his opinion on the topic after much time and consideration. Bill is a 50-year-old, single (once divorced), man who works for Star Flight as an EMT-P in Austin, Texas. He is our first male interviewee and his perspective certainly brings another angle to this hotly debated topic. There appears to be several differences related to how men and women are approached about this decision and what type and degree of judgment each experiences.   Bill discussed his marriage in his 20’s and how the issue of having children served as an impasse they had to navigate. Bill eventually became so sure of his decision that he elected to have a vasectomy. However, even after this definitive intervention, he continued to have some doubts about his choice. The on going questioning of this decision is something that seems to arise for many of our guests.    Bill seems to

Tammy is a 42-year-old, married woman who is a designer for a publishing company. We discovered Tammy through an on-line Meetup group she founded called “Childfree by Choice Couples.”  Since Tammy and her husband relocated from Florida to Austin, they were eager to meet other couples that have chosen to remain childfree, hence the creation of this group. At the time of our interview, Tammy reported 130 individuals had signed up for her Meetup group and they’ve held several successful events around the Austin area.   Tammy’s story mainly involves her realization of how much emotional and physical energy is involved in raising a child. This level of responsibility does not fit well with what she has envisioned for her life. Though she also references the term “selfish” in her description, it is slowly turning that language into “self-care” that seems to be the challenge. Aside from judgment from others, it seems that trying not to judge oneself is an on-going struggle for many.   To learn more about Tammy’s Mee

Take a listen to our interview with Sezin. She is a 38-year-old woman who describes herself as a “Wear Your Voice Magazine contributor, HuffPost blogger, feminist, artist, horror novelist, tattoo collector, Frida Kahlo devotee, Third Culture Kid, who lives in Lighthouse Point, Florida after a lifetime living abroad.”  Sezin is half Lithuanian-American and half Sri-Lankan and has been married to her husband for 11 years. Since she has lived abroad, she shares some interesting perspectives from around the world regarding our central question.  Sezin is well versed in environmental and political issues and what part that has played in her decision. It seems Sezin has received aggressive scrutiny and criticism by strangers and acquaintances because she is vocal about her stance. You’ll hear how her experience contrasts with that of her husband’s and the double standard that is prevalent in our society. She is a real advocate for women who have decided their path and hopes others will also lend their support in fu

Talk about getting to the point! Ha! Our Skype guest, Jul, is a 38-year-old, Asian-Indian, never married woman who works in the IT industry and is based in Manhattan. She grew up in Southern India and immigrated to the United States 10 years ago. Jul is fiercely independent and very open and unapologetic about her life decisions. This is especially noteworthy because of the traditional culture from which she hails. The intersection of culture and expectations are themes that weave their way throughout her story. Jul’s frank way of stating her stance is refreshing. She seems to have not wavered at all in her choices and wishes others would see that she’s good with her life, as is. Her hope is that she will not be plagued by questions related to marriage, children and who will care for her in old age.   Help more people find our podcast! Rate & Review us here! Get the scoop before the episode comes out! Please visit our website and subscribe to our Newsletter!    Check us out at www.ischildfreeforme.com or

Our guest, Angelica Beker, is a psychotherapist in private practice in Austin, Texas. She is 28-years-old and has been in a long-term relationship with her boyfriend. She is the daughter of European immigrants and shares a unique perspective on how culture, family, internal and external pressures all interplay in the decision to have children. Angelica is such an easy-going person who immediately puts everyone at ease. She shares her story in much the same fashion and is honest about her confusion and guilt about not feeling strongly pulled to have children. She admits to being in the thick of the decision-making process and how tiring and challenging it feels to be in this place in her life. Tune in to hear how Angelica is navigating her way through the maze of the baby decision.   To learn more about Angelica Beker and her private practice, please visit her website: http://www.angelicalpc.com     Help more people find our podcast! Rate & Review us here! Get the scoop before the episode comes out! Please

Listen to our exciting first Skype interview with Dr. Leslie Carr.  She is a 38-year-old, partnered, psychotherapist who is based in San Francisco.  She shares her views on having children, marriage and some interesting regional differences regarding her life choices. Even though Austin (where we are based) is considered liberal by Southern standards, it is enlightening to hear how people who hail from the west and east coasts receive different attention on this issue.  Clearly, where we grow up and eventually plant our roots can have great impact on the level of acceptance and freedom there is to question the desire for children.    Dr. Carr is a fast-talking (well, by Southern standards), incredibly smart, thoughtful and well-spoken woman who posed some interesting questions to the hosts. Since we didn’t know Dr. Carr before the interview, she was curious about our story and how we ended up producing this podcast.  She seemed adept at interweaving parts of our story that complimented and even effectively co

Listen to Dr. Lara Latimer as she shares her reproductive story with honesty and a matter-of-fact tone that is unapologetic and self-assured. Lara is a 35-year-old, never-married-currently-dating professional who has had significant early relationships that have influenced her thoughts on remaining child-free. Her unofficial mentors on remaining child-free helped normalize her own feelings about not wanting children. Her story continues to evolve as she passes through different relationships and is directed to revisit the topic on occasion. Lara enjoys a full life of scholarly research, fitness, outreach, healthy lifestyle advocacy and volunteer activities. She is a self-described personal wellness advocate, lecturer and consultant in Austin, TX.   If you’d like to reach Dr. Latimer, you may email her at lara@laralatimer.com. And, you can find more information about Lara on her website: www.laralatimer.com     Help more people find our podcast! Rate & Review us here! Get the scoop before the episode comes

Carrie is a 44-year-old, married, self described author, athlete, coach, fitness ambassador and RV adventurer. She may be short in stature, standing at only 5’1”, but she is mighty and routinely competes in impressive endurance sports races (she’s an Ironman!). Carrie effectively weaves a tale of her happy upbringing in an Italian home in Columbus, Ohio.  As the youngest of 5 children and the only girl, she acknowledges that she has always been a tomboy and was raised to be able to fend for herself. Carrie knew from an early age that she was not meant for motherhood but hadn’t made that a formal decision. True clarity on this issue only came when she and her husband participated in premarital counseling through the Catholic church. Carrie is open about how she would experience waves of self-doubt and think something is wrong with her because she never had a maternal urge. Her candor around this topic is engrossing and she is a wonderful storyteller.   Carrie has a true passion for fitness, healthy living (req

Heidi is a 44-year-old, married female with a passion for fitness and professionally supporting injured athletes. She was raised as an only child and realizes that her sensory preferences are for calm and knows she has sensitivities to certain noises (e.g., shrieking children). This self-awareness helped inform her decision not to have kids, along with a myriad of other deeper considerations. She candidly reveals how she initially fell into the trap of following the social script that expects one to get married and have kids. Only after her first marriage dissolved did she seem to really question her true desire for children. Heidi notes the various stages she has experienced with being repeatedly questioned on her decision and the emotional toll it took on her some years ago. However, with age and more self-acceptance, it seems Heidi is at a state of peace with her choice. Heidi’s interview is thought-provoking and truly introspective and clear.   Heidi is a kind soul who has a very nurturing way about her.

Our interview with Valori is full of laughter and honesty.  She is a good friend of ours whom we met six years ago in a local running group. Valori is 41-years old, married and the Director of Strategic Account Management at HomeAway.  Valori has so many amazing qualities, some of which are her infectious laugh and wicked sense of humor. You cannot help but smile when you spend time with her; she’s like a human antidepressant. Valori’s story includes some difficult medical twists and turns. She was faced with making definitive fertility decisions based on these medical interventions and had to really question her true desire for kids. Since she met her husband a little later in life, this decision was negotiated together with love, understanding, and openness to exploring future options.   Valori is a spirited, fierce, smart, hilarious Texas spit-fire! She is adored by many and admired for her strength and bravery.  Valori is such a loving, giving person who truly lives life to the fullest and perpetually ins

Join us as we talk to our friend and colleague, Jen, a 44-year-old, single woman who works as a psychotherapist.  Jen is a very intelligent, insightful and open person who was willing to go deep in her exploration for this episode. Jen addresses the messages she receives from others on her lifestyle and how people respond to her differently since she isn’t partnered.  She shares her challenging journey of deciding to be proactive about her fertility options and then the emotional, financial and spiritual toll that process took on her. Jen explains how she has come to a place of acceptance in her life while still processing and learning how to find her place in a world that is child and marriage focused. Her interview was well thought out and her willingness to be vulnerable in this way is admirable.   Jen is a well traveled, Renaissance woman with an entertaining story at the ready any time you speak with her. She is introspective and her honesty and realness are very endearing qualities that likely allow her

Join good friends and colleagues, Jill Zeligson Brenner and Saira John, as they delve into the secret world of why people choose to not have children. The provocative question of “Is Child-Free For Me?” investigates the underpinnings, inner turmoil and confusion that can plague those who are not sure if having children is for them. However, the social stigma and judgment often received by these individuals lead many to remain mum on the topic. This podcast is created to fill a void that is lacking to support, affirm and advocate for those who are in the midst of deciding on this big issue or who have already made up their minds. Hear how Jill and Saira are passionate about this social issue for different reasons. It is hoped their exciting interviews with brave individuals willing to share their personal journeys will resonate with others.  Additionally, the aim is to decrease feelings of isolation and perhaps a sense of being abnormal because there isn’t a clear yearning to have children.   Check us out at w

Join us as we talk to our friend, Laurel, a 37-year-old, divorced, now partnered, woman who is a stylist. Laurel’s first career was as a social worker for Hospice care. Her level of comfort with death stems from a childhood tragedy. Hear how her early childhood experiences shaped her into the person she is today and have influenced her views on having children.  Laurel’s smart, charming, frank nature of storytelling is riveting and engrossing.  She is honest about the back-and-forth internal argument that is often evident in making the decision to have kids. She weighs the impact children would have on her career, explores her need to have her own biological child and even the practical realities of what is required in a parenting role. Through this interview, we learned so many more amazing things about our already impressive friend and we think you’ll enjoy listening to her, too.   Laurel is a stylist extraordinaire who is gifted at figuring out the emotional connection to one’s style and how her clients wa

Is Child-Free For Me launches in May! Jill & Saira give a quick update on what's in store!