The Hardcore Self Help Podcast

We talk a lot about parenting. But we don't talk nearly enough about being a daughter. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Allison Alford — communication scholar, professor at Baylor University, and author of Good Daughtering — to unpack the hidden emotional labor adult daughters carry inside their families. We explore the invisible work, the guilt, the pressure to be "enough," and how daughters can set boundaries without walking away from the people they love. This isn't about cutting family off. It's about understanding your role, recalibrating it, and finding pride instead of burnout. If you've ever felt like you're doing a lot… but it's never quite enough — this one will hit. What We Cover What "daughtering" actually means (and why it's invisible) The "specter of expectation" and where guilt really comes from The difference between healthy families and the "messy middle" Why boundaries aren't magic — they're strategy How to shift your role even if no one else in your family changes Why being

Dating and relationships have never been simple — but in today's world of apps, algorithms, and endless options, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and disconnected. In this episode, I speak with Dr. Justin Garcia, Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute, evolutionary biologist, sex researcher, and author of the upcoming book The Intimate Animal. We talk about what our biology can (and can't) tell us about love and desire, how technology is reshaping intimacy, and why breakups can hit so hard. We also get personal — sharing stories about grief, recovery, non-monogamy, and navigating love in the real world. Dr. Garcia brings a refreshingly nuanced perspective, blending science, lived experience, and a deep respect for the complexities of modern relationships. Topics Covered The biological basis of pair bonding and why love is a survival strategy How dating apps are changing the way we connect — and the pitfalls of infinite choice Non-monogamy, open relationships, and what science really says about them

In this episode, I'm honored to welcome Dr. Tracy Hicks, a dual-certified family and mental health nurse practitioner with over two decades of clinical experience—and a deeply personal connection to serious mental illness. Dr. Hicks is both the daughter of a parent and the mother of a child with schizophrenia spectrum disorders. Her perspective blends professional expertise with lived experience in a way that is both deeply compassionate and refreshingly practical. We talk about what schizophrenia really is (and isn't), the impact of stigma on individuals and families, and the importance of person-centered, empathetic care. Dr. Hicks shares her personal journey—raising a daughter with serious mental illness while navigating barriers in the healthcare system—and offers guidance for both providers and caregivers who want to better support those living with schizophrenia. This is a powerful and deeply human conversation for anyone touched by serious mental illness. Topics We Cover What schizophrenia is and ho

In this episode, I share the absolute honest truth about my life at the moment. I also talk about my focus for this year, the phrases I can't get out of my head, and the things I'm grateful for from the last year. Let's do this. Got a question for the show? Email duffthepsych@gmail.com or head over the http://duffthepsych.com/contact. Watch the video at http://youtube.com/duffthepsych Follow me on Instagram at http://instagram.com/duffthepsych and Facebook at http://facebook.com/duffthepsych More writings and additional podcast content over at https://robertduff.substack.com/  

In this deeply informative episode, I'm joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Melissa Mose, LMFT, who brings 30 years of clinical experience to the table and a unique approach to treating OCD by integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) with traditional methods like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). Melissa shares how a personal experience—her daughter's sudden-onset OCD—propelled her into the world of OCD treatment and changed the direction of her career. We talk through how OCD manifests, why traditional ERP can be both life-changing and difficult for people, and how IFS can offer a more compassionate, effective way to approach healing by helping clients access their internal "Self." We also discuss Melissa's new book for clinicians, her training work, and the upcoming OCD SoCal Conference happening online on November 15–16, 2025.

In this heartfelt and candid episode, I'm joined by Chef Chris Valdes—TV personality, cookbook author, and lifelong culinary artist—to talk about his powerful personal journey through the culinary world and the mental health struggles he's faced along the way. From growing up in a Cuban restaurant in Miami to rising to national TV fame, Chris has seen both the bright lights and the dark corners of the kitchen. He shares stories of family, grief, hustle, and healing—including why he took a year off from everything to rediscover himself. Whether you're in food service, struggling with burnout, or just love a good story with heart and spice, this one's for you. Timestamps / Chapters: [00:00:00] Intro & Chris's background [00:03:00] Earliest food memory: the flan and whipped cream incident [00:06:45] Growing up in a family restaurant [00:08:30] Father's imprisonment and family disruption [00:13:00] Early entrepreneurial spirit (orange hustling!) [00:17:00] High school struggles & turning point with Le Cor

Friends, welcome back to the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. This is my first interview back after a bit of a journey. I thought there was no better way to kick off this next phase of the podcast than by introducing you to a friend and brilliant human that I met in the interim. Dr. Amy Andrea Martinez is a professor of sociology with a focus on Chicano gang culture, incarceration, and abolition. She is a total badass, and she gets vulnerable about her experiences in this conversation. We discuss how her younger brother's arrest, the development of her identity as a Xicana woman, her experiences with depression and suicidality, and her decision to build armor around her heart this year before diving back into the heart of academia and book-writing. I really hope you enjoy this one. In this conversation, Dr. Martinez mentions this book: https://www.amazon.com/AM-Club-Morning-Elevate-Life/dp/1443456624 Stay connected: Weekly newsletter: https://robertduff.substack.com  – free tips, Q&A, and community updates. M

Episode Summary: In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Duff returns to the mic after a hiatus to share what’s been going on behind the scenes with The Hardcore Self Help Podcast. He opens up about an almost-acquisition of the show by a larger mental health organization—a deal that initially looked promising but ultimately fell through. With transparency and vulnerability, Dr. Duff reflects on the emotional and professional impact of that experience, explains why the podcast paused, and announces the exciting new direction it’s headed in. What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why the podcast went quiet for a while A behind-the-scenes look at the attempted acquisition of the show The emotional and logistical toll of being let down by a potential deal Reflections on past professional disappointments outside of clinical work What’s next: rebranding, new episode formats, and a stronger emphasis on interviews Why connection and personal stories will be the heart of the podcast moving forward Dr. Duff’

In this insightful interview, I’m joined by Marcia Bonato Warren, a trauma-informed body therapist, somatic counselor, interculturalist, and author. Marcia brings over 30 years of experience working with cross-cultural mental health, and she shares a powerful lens on how identity, culture, and trauma intersect in the body. Together, we explore the concept of embodied code switching, how our bodies carry cultural and ancestral imprints, and how healing often involves not just the mind, but movement, sensation, and deep awareness of the self. Marcia discusses her personal journey as a Brazilian and Native American woman navigating multiple cultural worlds—and how her lived experience shaped her professional path and inspired her new book. This episode is a rich blend of personal storytelling, professional insight, and hope for a more connected, empathetic world. Key Discussion Points: Marcia’s multicultural background growing up between Pueblo traditions and Brazilian culture What it means to experience cu

In this episode, Dr. Duff takes on two powerful listener questions in a raw and compassionate Q&A format. The first question comes from a survivor of extensive childhood abuse, religious trauma, and complex family dynamics, who is wrestling with the decision of whether or not to publish a deeply personal memoir. Dr. Duff dives into the emotional, psychological, and ethical layers of this situation, offering validation, insight, and a heartfelt reminder that healing and storytelling can be acts of empowerment. The second question comes from a newly single parent facing feelings of loneliness and hopelessness after a recent divorce. After a disappointing family trip, they wonder if happiness is still possible in this new chapter of life. Dr. Duff breaks down the process of emotional adjustment, the importance of realistic expectations, and how small steps can lead to renewed hope and connection. As always, this episode is filled with empathy, nuance, and practical encouragement for anyone going through dark

In this episode, I address two deeply personal listener questions that highlight the complex nature of anxiety and emotional healing in relationships. The first question comes from a listener who has struggled with anxiety for most of their life, recently facing severe limitations due to Generalized Anxiety Disorder and medication changes. We talk about the genetic components of anxiety, the risks of benzodiazepines in older adults, and the importance of advocating for the right care—even if that means seeking new providers or considering higher levels of treatment. The second question dives into the emotional fallout after infidelity. A listener is working to rebuild their marriage after their wife’s emotional and physical affairs but finds themselves overwhelmed by anger and trauma in the aftermath. I explore the importance of time, trauma-informed coping strategies, and how rebuilding trust is possible with consistent effort and support. Whether you're dealing with anxiety yourself or navigating complex re

Just a quick update! Back to regularly scheduled programming next week!

Pre-Order Bipolar Answers https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Answers-Questions-Answered-Psychologist-ebook/dp/B0F1DW5WQZ/ In this special episode, Dr. Robert Duff announces the pre-order launch of his latest book, Bipolar Answers: Questions from Real People Answered by a Real Psychologist. To celebrate, he provides listeners with an exclusive reading of the book’s introduction and one full chapter, giving a firsthand look at what to expect. This book is built from real questions asked on The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, expanded with deeper insights, case studies, and practical strategies for managing bipolar disorder. Dr. Duff shares details about the book’s structure, how it tackles common misconceptions, and why he felt compelled to write it. He also reads a powerful chapter about navigating college after a bipolar episode, offering valuable guidance on advocacy, accommodations, and resilience. Timestamps: [00:00] – Introduction and book announcement: Bipolar Answers is now available for pre-order on Amazon!

Episode 433: Navigating PTSD Triggers & Overcoming Shame In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I tackle two listener questions related to PTSD, trauma, and the emotional challenges that come with them. The first question is from someone who is deeply affected by their environment, living in a house that serves as a constant PTSD trigger. They want to move forward but feel completely stuck. The second question is about dealing with strong emotional reactions in public and the embarrassment that follows. I offer compassionate, practical advice to help both listeners begin taking steps toward healing and self-acceptance. What We Cover in This Episode: Understanding why trauma responses persist and how they impact daily life The role of avoidance in PTSD and how to begin addressing it Practical strategies for tackling overwhelming life changes How to communicate with a therapist about deeply buried trauma The importance of seeking trauma-informed therapy and possible medication options

In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with the incredible psychotherapist and author, Terri Cole, to discuss high-functioning codependency, boundaries, and how we can break free from people-pleasing tendencies. Terri shares her own journey from working in the entertainment industry to becoming a therapist and how her personal struggles with boundaries led her to specialize in this area. We dive deep into the traits of high-functioning codependency, where it comes from, and actionable steps you can take to create healthier relationships and reclaim your inner peace. What We Cover in This Episode: Terri’s journey from talent agent to psychotherapist Recognizing high-functioning codependency in yourself How childhood and societal expectations shape codependency The role of self-awareness and therapy in breaking codependency patterns Practical tools for overcoming codependent tendencies The importance of setting boundaries and learning to say no How to conduct a resentment in

Episode 431: Pathological Demand Avoidance in Coaching & Persistent Depression Welcome to another episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Dr. Robert Duff! In this Q&A episode, Dr. Duff tackles two insightful listener questions on very different but equally important mental health topics. Question 1: Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in Coaching A listener working as an individual sports coach seeks advice on how to best support a talented but highly resistant student who displays signs of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA). Dr. Duff dives into: What PDA is and how it manifests in individuals, particularly in relation to autism, ADHD, and other neurodivergent conditions. The importance of reframing PDA as a high drive for autonomy rather than defiance. Practical coaching strategies to work around demand avoidance, including collaborative goal setting, offering choices, and making training sessions more engaging and playful. The significance of open-ended questions and genuine curiosit

Episode 430: Integrative Approaches to Recovery with Dr. Malasri Chaudhery-Malgeri In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Malasri Chaudhery-Malgeri, also known as Dr. Mala, to discuss her integrative approach to addiction recovery, rehabilitation, and mental health treatment. Dr. Mala shares her personal journey that led her into the field, the importance of holistic and individualized treatment, and how she has worked to break down barriers in accessing quality care. What We Cover in This Episode: Dr. Mala’s personal journey into psychology and addiction recovery work The challenges of pushing for integrative mental health care How trauma informed her approach to treatment The importance of cultural competence in mental health and recovery Understanding addiction recovery as a non-linear process The necessity of breaking isolation in the recovery journey The evolving role of virtual therapy and accessibility in mental health care How alternative and holistic ap

In this solo Q&A episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I answer two deeply personal and important listener questions. The first comes from a trans man struggling with the impact of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation, fear for his safety, and overwhelming feelings of hopelessness. We talk about tangible ways to navigate the stress of doomscrolling, finding community, and taking back control in uncertain times. The second question dives into the pain of heartbreak—specifically, the loss of a best friend after unrequited love. I discuss how to process grief, handle regret, and move forward when a relationship changes in ways you didn’t expect. Whether you're facing fear, loss, or uncertainty, this episode offers support, validation, and practical steps to help you through it. Chapters: 00:00 — Intro: You Are Seen, You Are Valid 02:00 — Shoutout to the Finch App: A Fun Self-Care Tool 03:00 — Coping with Fear & Uncertainty as a Trans Person in a Hostile Climate 10:30 — Managing Doomscrolling & Social Media O

In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with world-renowned psychiatrist, author, and DBT expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre to tackle the complex topic of self-hatred. As a pioneer in the treatment of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and adolescent mental health at McLean Hospital, Dr. Aguirre offers a compassionate and illuminating perspective on how self-hatred forms, why it’s so persistent, and how we can work toward healing. Dr. Aguirre explains why self-hatred is often learned early in life through invalidating experiences and abusive environments and why it differs from self-criticism or depression. He introduces practical tools to break free from self-loathing, such as identifying its roots, recognizing toxic relationships, and taking steps to separate identity from these damaging beliefs. We also discuss the challenges of treating patients with self-hatred, the transformative power of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and how his latest book, I Hate Myself, provides a groundbre

In this special episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I lead you through a guided meditation designed to help you let go of mental burdens and find focus in an overwhelming world. Using visualization techniques and intentional breathing exercises, this meditation offers a space to acknowledge your stressors, release tension, and tap into a feeling of calm and clarity. This experience is set in a vivid mindscape of space, where you can imagine yourself aboard a futuristic spacecraft, surrounded by the beauty of the cosmos. Together, we’ll navigate through moments of recognition, release, and rejuvenation. By the end of this session, you’ll feel more centered and grounded, with a renewed connection to how you’d like to move forward. Whether you’re a seasoned meditator or new to mindfulness, this episode is a judgment-free zone to focus on yourself. Bookmark it to return to anytime you need a mental reset. Sponsor This episode is brought to you by NOCD, a leading provider of virtual therapy for obsessive-c