No One Is Safe: The Podcast

Did you forget about us? We forgot about us! We finally got it together and recorded a show with our good friend Terrence Williams! Donald Trump, Arby's, Kanye West and the perils of existing in your 30s are all here. We missed you.

A Kentucky lawmaker wants men to have to swear on the bible and get permission from their wives to get Viagra. We're a little late the the John Scott victory party, but we're here and we love him. Dolphins are scary, but maybe don't try to selfie with them. Also, Fat Mat renounces Pantera.

Clean out your ears, we are back with our first episode of 2016. We mourn the loss of Lemmy and lament using Q-tips improperly.

No fancy description guys, just a look back at some of the best, worst, and blurst of 2015.

Forgive us if we seem a little flippant about the situation in Paris - it was happening while we were recording and we didn't know much of what would go on. This week we talk shitty first dates, Red Cups, World Kindness Day and being too broke to shop at the thrift shop.

Do you want to hear Fat Mat and Lindsey talk about sex? Of course you don't, it would be disgusting right? Well. Too bad. It gets a little gross this week as we discuss California's plan to make porn stars wear condoms and... goggles? Plus, how early is too early to decorate for Christmas? Canada has a new Prime Minister since our last show and Mat admits to his man-crushes.

Fat Mat and Lindsey recorded this show live at The Handsome Daughter in Winnipeg! Special guests include Chad Alsop of Dead Ranch, Mat's Hetero-lifemate Jay Fulmore and Sam Smith, who books some of the best shows in Winnipeg! Toilets, bedbugs, politics, babies, shitty bands... we cover it all!

Lindsey wants to pay for a Garbage meet and greet package but is afraid she'll just cry all over Shirley Manson. Fat Mat has finally started spending money at Tim Hortons. Urban Outfitters thinks people should work for free on the weekends, Burger King turns its buns black and your poop green, plus, the live show is next week!

Mat is back from New Jersey and tells us about holding a live, human baby for the first time. Minimum wage has gone up in several Canadian provinces, baseball is boring, and can you be sweat shamed? Plus - Lindsey IS NOT going to work at Hooters.

Lindsey and Fat Mat discuss the de-funding of Planned Parenthood, Ahmed's clock and the ensuing bomb scare in Texas, and Wayne Gretzky's endorsement of Stephen Harper. Plus, Sweden experiments with a six hour work day, PK Subban donates ten million dollars to the Montreal Children's Hospital, the RCMP knows how to party, and Fat Mat breaks up with Terrance.

Fat Mat and Lindsey are back following a few weeks of technical difficulties. They talk about Kim Davis and the Syrian crisis, all while pondering all the delicious foods immigrants have brought to Canada. Plus, details on our live show October 18th at the Handsome Daughter in Winnipeg, and how you can help a dear friend of ours fight cancer.

Episode Twenty Five was supposed to be released last week but our file got corrupted. Lindsey and Fat Mat are back with Episode Twenty Five round two, talking Ashley Madison, starting and monetizng their own religion, and what government employees should be allowed to tweet during an election. Also, what's the bigger problem: Walmart or its customers?

Canada is in for an 11 week election campaign, so Fat Mat and Lindsey give you some tips on how not to be a jackass on social media during a federal election. They also discuss Hitchbot, weird relationships with strangers, and whether or not Fat Mat's "romantic" encounter with Gwen Stefani 20 years ago is the reason she's divorcing Gavin Rossdale. Also, find out how Lindsey's grandmother became a Canadian citizen (hint: it involves booze).

Fat Mat and Lindsey talk about the death of Rowdy Roddy Piper and the controversy surrounding Hulk Hogan. Cecil the Lion and the internet lynch mob are also discussed. Plus, should women be allowed to walk around topless, Montreal cafes putting a stop to loitering, and Mat talks about his new film project.

Lindsey and Fat Mat discuss the Louisiana theatre shooting, the Confederate flag, hackers can take over and crash your car, and is the standard nine to five workday becoming a thing of the past? All that plus Fat Mat reviews a bunch of movies, poops at Lindsey's house (in the middle of the show!) and complains about Lindsey posting a bathing suit picture on Instagram (see it @lindsey_withane)

Fat Mat and Lindsey discuss the Slurpee Capital of the World title, how banning soda in a high school led to a Lethbridge teen becoming the Al Capone of Pepsi, and why you shouldn't have three-ways in public. Also, #DeadRaccoonTO, sitting face to fact on an airplane, and the importance of good toilet paper.

Lindsey and Fat Mat are back after a two week hiatus to tell you all about the demise of cable tv, as well as local machete fights and bomb scares. Also, stop calling in threats to WestJet planes! In other news, Fat Mat hates perogies. 

Mike Peters from Cancer Bats joins Lindsey and Fat Mat to talk about, as the title suggests, throwing hatchets and porn in space. They also talk about hockey beards, penis fit bits, kidnappings, and drinking booze with Dave Grohl.

Lindsey and Fat Mat are joined by Braxton Conrad, who is a FTM transgender and more important, an all around good dude. They discuss Caitlyn Jenner and Laura Jane Grace, reality television, growing up different, leaving dogs in hot cars, high school, and Fat Mat's hilarious bathroom story.

It's a bit of a mixed bag this week. Lindsey and Fat Mat discuss trolls feeding off other trolls, high school dress codes, and why you can't shoot a kid with a b.b. gun. All that plus we talk about the end of the tampon tax, how often the French and British shower, and Fat Mat damn near has a heart attack over... Brooks and Dunn?