The Art Of Coaching

We’ve all been there. Stuck, unmotivated, and unsure of what to do or where to go next. And just as we’ve struggled, we’ve also had to help others who can’t seem to move forward. Whether you’re a leader, manager, mentor, or just someone who wants to be more effective in tough conversations, knowing how to cut through resistance is a critical skill. People don’t just fear failure, they fear success. Staying stuck, or just refusing to advance, feels safer than the prospect of higher expectations and the weight of added responsibility.  People are complicated, and it’s not as simple as offering advice or motivation. Different personalities bring different sources of resistance, and pushing too hard, or in the wrong way, can backfire. So how do you actually help? How do you guide someone toward action without overwhelming them? In this episode, we break down the principles of managing these interactions so you can help them get out of their own way without getting stuck yourself. In this practical episode, Brett

This week, we’re revisiting one of our most popular episodes, and a topic people continue to ask us about.  People pleasing. We’ve all seen it before (whether we recognized it or not) - constantly being agreeable, always saying yes, never setting any boundaries - all to the point of self-destruction.  If you haven’t experienced it yourself, it’s likely you’ve witnessed someone else demonstrate these behaviors.  And although it may have short-term benefits, we know that these self-destructive tendencies are not sustainable, and can lead to mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion and burnout. If this is something you think you might struggle with, or if you know someone who does, today’s episode provides a wide variety of perspectives on what “people pleasing” can look like in the day to day world, a number of root causes, and a handful of different solutions you can use to help you manage these behaviors. More specifically, Brett dives into:  Quotes that hit - some of the most impactful sound bites I’ve he

We’ve all been there, and watched it happen from afar.  Something happens, and the temperature starts to rise. Tempers flare, and the situation becomes heated. These moments can reveal sides of us we’re not particularly proud of. How should we respond when life gets tense and others lack empathy or communicate in passive-aggressive ways? What actions can we take to navigate these difficult interactions without making things worse?  To move forward, we must find a way to counter our adrenaline, exude control, and convey compassion. Avoidance is never the answer. The only way out is through. In today’s practical, real-world episode, Brett discusses: The #1 thing people ultimately want in conflict Conflict archetypes and the importance of knowing which one you are How and when to make concessions without “losing” or admitting fault Why taking a pause or a deep breath isn’t the most practical advice BONUS: A crash course in how to NOT piss people off  Want to host your own AOC Inservice? As a leader, you’v

Have you ever heard the phrase, "no plan survives first contact," or, "everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face"?  These sayings might sound dramatic, but let’s be honest, they ring true. Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us, especially when we’re chasing our biggest, scariest goals. When that happens, we’re often quick to rationalize, intellectualize, or make excuses for why we didn’t follow through. It’s human nature, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the story. The real question is: how can we stay the course, even when the unexpected happens? Consistency is the truest measure of excellence and a life well lived. So, how do we tether ourselves to it? How do we make progress and avoid giving ground to the circumstances and stressors, both good and bad, that we inevitably face? In this motivational episode, we cover: The most important component of credibility and how to maintain it How to stay consistent in the areas of life where progress and growth are critical Building your own d

New year, new you, right?  Many of us set resolutions and goals this time of year, which is a great way to start fresh. But let’s be honest: flipping the calendar doesn’t magically fix everything in our lives. If we want to truly step up as leaders, spouses, parents, or high achievers, we need to confront the uncomfortable “stuff” we’ve been avoiding. It’s about unpacking the baggage we’ve been dragging along, facing it head-on, and making the changes that not only improve our lives but also ripple out to everyone around us. It’s not easy. In fact, it might be harder than losing that last 15 pounds or finally contributing more to your retirement—but that’s why you’re here. So let’s get to work. In today’s episode, Brett discusses: Carl Jung’s concept of The Shadow and how it can help you become a better leader The true definition of culture and how to forge a resilient group identity Strategies to recognize and address your internal struggles The damage caused when avoided baggage “leaks” out onto our loved

This week, we’re revisiting one of our most popular episodes, because the questions about this topic just keep coming! While giving feedback is a skill many want to master, the real secret lies in learning how to receive it. (’Tis the inverse of the season) Hearing where we can improve is tough, and the common advice about giving feedback—like the “sandwich technique”—often falls flat in real-world situations. Instead of sharing surface-level tactics, we’re diving into strategies that actually work, both for receiving and giving feedback effectively. In this throwback episode, we cover: The science behind why we often respond poorly to feedback Why rationalizing doesn’t help (and how to stop doing it) What to say when you receive feedback you don’t understand or agree with When it’s appropriate to reject someone’s feedback THE COALITION – Hurry, the doors are closing soon! Less than a month left to apply for the next round. The Coalition is a mentoring group designed for busy professionals ready to grow. Wi

Regret. It’s a loaded word, especially around the holidays.  But it doesn’t have to be as painful as it seems. Imagine the peace of mind that comes with knowing you’ve done everything in your power to let someone truly understand where you’re coming from and why. How can we hold ourselves accountable and ensure we’re not the problem in those critical moments? Maybe you’re one of the lucky ones who doesn’t have heavy personal issues to navigate. Instead, you want to show up for your team, lead with intention, and set bold goals for the year ahead. To do that, clear communication skills are essential, not just for closing this year but for leveling up in the next. Here’s the truth: self-awareness is a gift greater than anything you’ll find under the tree. This episode is packed with actionable strategies to help you be more present and intentional in every moment of your life, whether big or small. In this episode, Brett discusses: Multiple frameworks to evaluate and improve any interaction The importance of r

There’s nowhere lonelier in the world than rock bottom.  It’s a place where overwhelm, anxiety, and uncertainty feel relentless, and the total weight of your burden makes moving forward seem impossible. Staying down is a choice, but it’s one that you really can’t afford to make. Before you pick yourself up, you need to know exactly where you are. When you recognize where the demons holding you down come from, you can see the path you need to take to fight back and regain control.  It’s not about hacks, quick fixes, or the perfect framework. It’s about facing the hard truth head-on, with squared shoulders, and taking action, even when the easy choice is to stay down. In this episode we cover: The three most common responses to overwhelm and a “salty” alternative How to categorize our stressors so we can divide and conquer Self discrepancy theory and making peace with our whole selves Investing in yourself and the pitfalls of “playing tight” To get the most out of this episode, and every episode in our librar

This is not a “social media is bad” episode.  That conversation has been talked to death. The truth is, very few things are inherently good or bad—it’s all in how you use them. But today’s episode is about how they use you. If “they” were writing this, they’d correct me and say, it’s how we allow them to use us. What makes the algorithm so effective at manipulating our sense of self worth and exploiting our deepest insecurities? Why do we fall into cycles of comparison, inadequacy, and pleasure seeking that keep us hooked? More importantly, how can we recognize these traps and reclaim control before they erode our self identity and damage our relationships? This episode is raw and unfiltered, straight from the heart and brutally honest. Brett speaks uncomfortable truths, using current cultural trends to challenge how we think and act. In this episode, Brett unpacks: Self-completion theory and why the “never enough” voice always catches our ear How to audit the “feed” that’s fueling your thoughts Engaging wit

Lazy.  It's one of the most shameful things you can be. And it's largely a title or accusation we make of ourselves. Why do we so frequently feel utterly drained, craving time to unwind and escape reality? Is there a way to not just reclaim that time, but to structure our days more intentionally to prevent fatigue from building and spiraling into a never-ending cycle? What can we do to finally experience relief and regain control? In today’s episode, Brett provides a framework to identify the warning signs, uncover the deeper issues at play, and ensure these feelings don’t erode your self-worth. In this episode, we explore: Psychological insights explaining why we feel so depleted How to prioritize and structure your week to optimize work and rest Mini retreats, transition rituals, and other tools to mentally reset during the day Strategies for filling your cup and consistently showing up for YOURSELF Today’s episode comes from a listener request! If you have a topic or question, submit it at artofcoaching.

Have you ever felt stuck or stagnant?  That restless feeling like you’re spinning your wheels, going nowhere fast, yet knowing deep down that you need to break free. Stagnation isn’t just about a lack of progress; it’s a state of mind that can creep into any part of your life—your career, your relationships, or even your personal growth. But the good news? Feeling stuck is a signal, not a sentence. If you’re hard on yourself, hold high expectations, and tend to overthink, this episode is for you. Brett shares tips and strategies to help you break free from your own head and get back on track.  Listen in for insights on these topics and more: How to create and leverage your own “minimum viable day” Making friends with the monster and how to embrace our struggles The power of failure simulations Why using an “I Got This Done” list may be more helpful than your “To Do” list Don’t miss out! Our biggest sale of the year is coming—Black Friday is just around the corner, and you’ll want to be the first to know. Si

When they’re your best player or most productive employee, but ALSO the biggest thorn in your side.  We’ve all been there and had to deal with the type. What do you do? This episode transcends the specific context of coaching a high school athlete to tackle a broader, universal challenge faced by leaders, managers, and professionals everywhere. Whether you’re navigating a workplace dynamic, coaching a team, or leading a group, this discussion will equip you with strategies to help difficult individuals recognize their behavior, foster deeper connections, and ultimately drive meaningful improvement. Brett dives into actionable insights to help you set boundaries, uncover root issues, and avoid falling into the trap of enabling destructive patterns. In this episode, we explore: The importance of setting realistic expectations How to systematically funnel multiple issues to uncover the core problem The real reason behind narcissistic and emotionally immature behavior Facing conflict head-on and the danger of shi

The knot in your stomach. That flush of unease when you know you’ve fallen short of your own standards.  The only way to truly adapt and evolve is through real vulnerability—not the gentle, polished kind from TED talks, but the raw honesty that forces you to confront hard truths about yourself.  This isn’t about stepping out of your comfort zone in a clichéd way; it’s about embracing the discomfort and going to war until you’re fully transformed. Today’s guest, Kyle Holland, knows a thing or two about facing challenges head-on. As an Exercise Physiologist with U.S. Customs and Border Protection, he’s worked in some of the most demanding environments and spent 10 years with the 160th SOAR(A), a Special Operations Unit in the Army. Kyle has also trained professional athletes and MMA fighters at Mike Boyle Strength and Conditioning and worked with both the University of Iowa and Louisville’s football programs. A devoted husband and father of three, Kyle brings a grounded perspective to every topic he tackles. In

Audit. It’s one of the most unsettling words in the English dictionary, carrying a connotation of fear and unease that makes people shy away from even the slightest hint of it  But, like most intimidating things, an audit becomes far less daunting once you look at it more closely. One definition of an audit is simply “a systematic review or assessment of something.” Think of it as a straightforward check-in—a moment to take stock of where you stand and where you want to go. At the end of the day, an audit is really about something we talk about time and time again: accountability. It’s a chance to be honest with ourselves about what’s working, what’s not, and how we can move forward with intention. In today’s episode, Brett guides you through practical steps to reflect, recalibrate, and get back on track before the year wraps up. If you wait until January it will be too late. Topics we’ll dive into include: Assessing your goals and determining when to pivot How to  measure growth and allow yourself grace when

“I’M DONE.” It’s one of the most frustrating feelings in the world.  You’ve tried everything to fix things but just can’t get through to someone. You keep hitting the wall over and over.  But what if there’s a way to revisit the problem, to approach it from a different angle, and open their minds (and ours) to new possibilities?  In this compact episode, Brett gets straight to the point of navigating these messy situations, helping you zoom out to see the situation for what it truly is, and recognize when it's time to look in the mirror—ultimately leading to a resolution when it feels like all hope is lost. Key subjects covered: Diagnosing the REAL issue: the most crucial first step to solving any problem How to see into your blindspots through someone else’s perspetive Two types of errors, their differences, and how to avoid both The “Triple A Approach” to ensure YOU aren’t the problem Understanding the role our ego plays in the root cause of our discontent One of our missions as a company is to be a beacon

Empty Coaching.  Words and phrases that lack teeth. “Good job! You’re getting there! I like that.” “We’ve got to get better. C’mon, step it up. That’s not what I’m looking for.” We’ve all been guilty of letting these clichés fly out of our mouths at one point or another. But do they actually help inspire change or simply fill the silence? In today’s episode, we cut through these hollow lines and explore how we, as leaders and coaches, can move beyond surface-level feedback to foster both immediate performance improvements and long-term growth..  Brett and our guest, Tex McQuilkin, get to the heart of what makes feedback impactful—what to say, when to say it, and how to become the kind of leader the world truly needs. Tex, a national-level presenter, coach, and content creator, brings his expertise as a certified strength and conditioning specialist and holds a Master’s in health behavior change. He’s led seminars in 16 countries, working with everyone from professional athletes to Navy SEALs. Today’s show is

Our lives are not the movies.  When sudden, unpredictable events like family hardships or natural disasters strike, it can feel like we’re living in one. But more often, the changes in our stories are subtle.  The turmoil is internal, and we’re left to wrestle with our challenges quietly, on our own.  Today’s guest is no stranger to this real-life push and pull. She knows what it’s like to juggle the expectations of motherhood, navigate life transitions, and manage the chaos that comes with it all. Dr. Emma Laird, PT, DPT, OCS is a board-certified physical therapist at Pro Kinetix in Oakland, California, specializing in orthopedic care. She earned her Doctorate in Physical Therapy from MGH Institute of Health Professions and is a certified Orthopedic Clinical Specialist. Emma brings a holistic approach to helping her clients return to their favorite activities while promoting lifelong movement health. A Bay Area native, Emma is passionate about sports and strength training, values she learned early on from he

We’ve all heard the motivational phrase, “Failure isn’t an option.” It sounds inspiring, but is it really true?  Failure, in reality, is an option—often chosen in the form of inaction, silence, or the unwillingness to engage. How many times have you held back an idea, avoided speaking up, or let a moment pass because of the fear of judgment? Playing it safe is extremely tragic. In today’s episode, we’re diving into the cost of silence and the hidden price we pay by not putting ourselves out there. What’s really stopping us from stepping forward? And what can we do to shift from apprehension to action?  In this tough love episode, Brett takes the gloves off and gets real about: The evolutionary roots behind our fear of rejection How our ego is the true source behind our hesitation to engage Criticism, its inevitability, and how to turn it into data Harnessing pride as a shield to protect against self-devaluation Navigating the fear of success versus the fear of failure Referenced Episodes: E259 | Understandin

Why would someone hold on to a false or inaccurate belief even when you’ve laid out all the facts and logic in front of them? You couldn’t have been more clear in presenting your argument! Your reasoning is solid, but maybe it’s not the absence of evidence that’s preventing them from changing their perspective—it might be the way the information was delivered... Today’s show is one of our keystone episodes, unlocking why constructive communication often fails to get off the ground. Brett is joined by Ali Kershner in-studio for a deep dive into the tactics that will help you get your point across more effectively and give you the best chance to change someone’s behavior.  Grab a pen and download the reflection questions because this episode is hands-on and loaded with tactical information and strategies you can implement at work, home and anywhere you deal with people.   You'll learn: How to identify the areas you’re stubborn in and need to change The different types of persuasion and the impact of each How ti

It’s the holy grail of mental health and wellness for many people. Almost all of us, at one point or another, have chased the elusive 'work-life balance,' hoping to find the perfect harmony between our careers and personal lives. But is 'balance' really the right word? Perhaps it’s a misnomer that oversimplifies the complexity of juggling work and family. Today’s topic arose from a conversation between Brett and several of our facilitators about the push and pull that occurs between career and family. It’s a concept we all struggle with in some capacity, and in this episode, we’ll share insights from that discussion along with practical strategies for managing the demands of work and family. Tune in as we get real on a this common struggle, as we explore: The misnomer of  “balance” and how to define it for yourself How guilt influences decisions in your professional life Realigning your goals to reflect what truly matters How to recognize if the obstacle in your was is YOU - and what to do about it Put Us On