Delay Radio: Comedy,funny News, Funny Stories (fast-ish)

On this episode, we have 2 special guests, a husband and wife team. But to clarify, the D and the Jethro are not married. To get things kicked off, the D discusses beards. As it turns out, a recent research project from Switzerland showed that beards are gross. Research showed that microbial counts in dogs (30 furry dogs) vs. men yielded that beards are absolutely disgusting. We then go into discussing shows that keep you up late, including Timeless, 11/22/63, and other shows. They will blow your mind…including concepts of merging shows, without spoilers. After going on TV show rants, we go into questions from Reddit. What is normal to do as a child, but creepy to do as an adult? How about putting your fingers under the closed door of a bathroom…or eating a candy necklace? Or staring at your parents while they sleep – that would probably be really creepy as an adult. We found the holy grail of ‘the people of Walmart’. It involves karate, demolishing product displays, and a dog stealing cornbread.

On this episode of Delay Radio, we bring on 2 special guests in place of Honch (husband and wife duo!), who is held up in Canada (not really). So we start off as a complete mess, immediately going off the rails into who knows what. But we did talk about Taco Bell, Black Holes and the band Soundgarden, all before we get into the main schedule of the show.We eventually got back on track, which which we thought would get us to questions from Reddit, but it ended up just being dad jokes. To be honest, we did struggle not to talk politics....but we did ease into the turtles and songs from Austin Powers. If you're looking for an evening of awkwardness, this is your episode of belligerent comedic bills. 

On this weekly episode of Delay Radio, we have Jethrow stepping away from his crazy business ideas. From the echo chamber (we have no idea what happened). Jethrow wants to shoot a movie about Helen Keller from the perspective of Helen Keller (sorry.) We are sure that movie won't last very long. That's okay. We went on to talk about other movies and inventions from Horrible Bosses. After talking about what happened after the TV show friends, Honch got on his phone and finally decided to figure out what was happening in the news, but really he ended up just finding funny news article headlines, and describing what it feels like to get hit in the face with all kinds of stuff. 

On this weekly episode of Delay Radio, we start off with a completely off the mark introduction, including of Honch, who leans back constantly every week. This time we lay down the rules, and maybe we'll just take the mic to his face.We discuss random things as we always do, including Taxidermy, cows, and other things. As in many episodes, the Jethrow has a business idea. He wants to start a taxidermy business...featuring people's pets. We imagine that if something really bad happens to your pet..it may be too severe to recover. If you could do it to your pets, what about your spouse? His idea progressed, getting bigger and bigger. Picture the band at Chuck E Cheese's.....but your long gone loved one. Thank you for this golden moment Jethrow. After digging further, Honch brings up his sister in law's pet parrot that remembered the angry voices of people long gone.After talking about new business ventures that will hopefully never happen, Honch discusses the 'super pooper' that wa

Starting off as awkward as possible, we did get Honch at attention. Although you couldn't see him, Honch was having trouble staying close to his microphone, so we've made him lean over the table.  So to kick things off, Jethrow disappeared from the Internet, and he has gotten rid of all of his social media accounts, including Facebook, Instagram, Twitter (you name it, it's gone). However, he does have an idea to start up his own social media platform, open to people...especially those that don't tattle on others, and it's really setup to speak your mind to the manager. That means you Karen. It will also have a built in tool that allows you to make other peoples' status updates yours. That way you don't have to take any ownership of it, that'll work, right?After we can't find Jethrow on the Internet, Honch tells us the story about going to Minnesota, where he starts receiving texts from his wife's phone, including emojis. As it turns out, Honch has a hard time

Does ASR creep you out? We whisper in our intro, but still...ASR is a whole different thing. After being really awkward as usual, Honch talks about his adventures of going to the barber shops, and how he is super angry about not finding a real barber shop, especially one that doesn't know that the pole stands for walk-ins, yet it is appointment only. He wants the real experience of going to a barbershop in questionable areas, such as getting his car stolen, and he wants really bad beer, not a coffee. He has resorted to his wife cutting his hair, with the exception of one place.After Honch discussing his desire for warm beer and a haircut, Jethrow talks about 'cut and run', a new business focused on specialty hair cuts. After D's brain has a glitch, Jethrow talks about homeless game show ideas, giving homeless people $1,000 and a one way ticket to anywhere, sans avocados.Have you heard of the butt hole tickler? He's a real man that has been terrifying people in their homes, sneaking in

So we'll admit that it has been awhile in the world of delay radio. Some life things happened, mostly winter. But we've crawled out of our bear caves to get things going again. That said, Jethrow didn't know that the 'Florida man' thing existed, so just before jumping on the mics, we did it. You enter your Florida man and your birthday into Google, and you're essentially whatever the headline is.Jethrow searched for his, where a man decided to throw a toilet through a window, and long story short, when cops showed up, the man was actually sitting on a toilet, it's a number 2 felony. Honch looks for his, and again, a toilet story - Walmart bathroom. And at some point, Honch mistook the Twilight Zone reboot with the revival of Twilight, where he declared he is for team Jacob (we don't care how it is spelled). So at the beginning of the year, all of us kicked off a 'diet', and our dad bod. Honch gets upset over some of the foods to have diet...and somehow we end

<p>Honch is out this week, so we try to tackle the topics of the world, including obsure Malcolm in The Middle reference, and then we falsely identify the parts of the movie Halloween - including that Fergie is in it. Only one of the members actually watched it.</p><p>Do you know how to properly pronounce Ariana Grande? The D will she the record straight for you. On to actual news - a town north of Duluth, MN has been experiencing drunk birds flying around as they were eating fermented berries. As it turns out, the police just told people to calm down.</p><p>We then got into questions from Reddit. What action films would be better adapted to an animated film. Anything with Bruce Willis, Meg, and so on. That somehow to into what happens when we downloaded MP3's from the Internet years ago..and legos. 

<p>We kickoff this week's episode of Delay Radio like every other...awkwardly. Jethrow kicks us off with searching Reddit for questions, including someone seeking advice for new college students. Get a blood test, remember you're young, and in the words of Jethrow, "don't". We mean, there are probably some famous people that figured it out, right? Because dad doesn't understand that the world is different so you still need tuition for next semester. Here are some other options: get famous on Instagram - there's a few ideas. Well, one. Okay? Okay. After we talked about this, we turned this into a conversation about PB&J.</p><p>Also, D had this rubber toy that was a banana filled with sand - that he was whipping around the entire episode. But we quickly got down to business. Police in New York were able to catch 3 robbery suspects from a burger joint, following a trail of macaroni salad. Also, in Kuwait, local fish market owners took googly eyes , the one

Once we actually go started, we came up with the jobs/careers that we wanted hypothetically, and then how we could ruin it. Honch wanted to be a pizza delivery man, so it makes sense that he wouldn't own a car, D wanted to be a CEO,Hackerman wants to be a pilot so he's going to be blind - and Jethrow wants to develop video games, so he's going to get migraine headaches when he's thinking about video games.After talking about jobs, Honch wanted to talk about 'bathroom behaviors'. Honch gives his list of things not to do in the bathroom - he's so angry about the stupid stuff that people do in the bathroom. Honch decided to quiz us about what to do in various scenarios, including warm breathing and 'thunder dumping'.Eventually we make our way to world records, including eating powdered donuts, cats and dice, balancing a soccer ball on a car, and then we end with guessing fake news headlines, including ghosts,goats,uber,candy.

So after some complete nonsense, we go into porn names. There is the old addage about using your street name, middlename, etc. But as it turns out, there are some other methods to come up with your porn screen name - and each of us give up our new porn names. And with those conventions, what happens if the street you live on is socially prominent? Yes, we accidentally went there...and as it turns out, Jethrow is Christopher Steel. After talking about bad porn names, we talk about smells - a wife made a perfume that smelled like her husband, who is an astronaut because she missed him. We asked the group what musk smell they would want for the rest of your life; BBQ and other food items came up, but the Honch took it a step further to grilled pineapple.

We think we're running a real news podcast, but we're apparently doing it wrong, because we're using a soundboard. But once we go off on a real tangent of playing with sound fx, an 82 year old man has been growing his nails for 66 years, and recently cut them for display at Ripley's Believe It Or Not in New York City. What started as punishment from a teacher, turned into a lifetime of nail growing. And you won't believe this, but they had to use a grinder to cut the nails. The longest nail was 6.5 ft long, can you believe that? After talking about super long nails, Honch was disgusted...and wanted to get back to being normal after hearing the story about nails, so a youth football coach has been banned after he was aggressively flashing his penis at a game, and not just at the players, but at the crowd as well. This, of course, was after becoming drunk, drinking quite a few pints of beer. If you don't want to be fined, then you should probably stop drinking. After talking abou

On this week's episode, we start out with the scary movie harmony. If you haven't caught on, we do a voice intro. We got right into a movie that Jethrow watched about a sexually transmitted demon. We decided that we needed a soundboard, after going on about the Amish filming a movie. Have you seen the movie ghost? It doesn't matter, because no one wants to give their bit of news. Jethrow begins to tell us news that he heard on the radio. It is official that California has fire tornadoes, not the ones you find at your local 7-Eleven, but actual tornadoes made out of fire. So what would you do if fire tornadoes became beings? Honch points out that since we're talking about tornadoes, what about shartnadoes? Turns out that the highest level is the lava sauce from Taco Bell (is that hotter than the blazin' sauce? D built an arcade machine in his basement, which features what of the creepiest games ever called "Chiller", which is the creepiest arcade game ever made. Look that v

We kick off this week's podcast with a quick callout to Chipotle's food poisoning incident, and to the 'radio voice' featuring a Janis Joplin tribute band, and Molly Hatchet. So the 'D' has betrayed Honch, divulging details about a cruise that Honch bought for his wife..because D didn't know the details. And not to sidetrack, have you ever had trash grits? It has pork belly, but that tarnishes everything because D ruined Honch's life. I guess we'll resort to drinking beer. Hackerman had some pretty interesting news coming out of the U.S; a senate member (well, she's actually running for the house of representatives) has posted her degree, which she didn't actually get. Multiple people called her out - including the university that she claimed to get it from. She 'studied' marketing, but as it turns out, the university doesn't even offer that - irony. After talking about fake degrees, we found a question from Reddit - wondering what the m

We started the podcast by not starting it the way it should start, with an intro. We actually just started talking about "Weekend at Bernie's" and the dance from Michael Jackson's "Thriller". Once we realized we should probably kick things off, we finally kicked it off. Going through introductions, we keep it very open. Honch was talking about his wife's coffee, he accidentally used the word corpse, but we assure you that his wife is alive. Apparently her coffee order is getting more complicated, and he is so mad about it. Why can't you just order a regular coffee? Cold pressed, brewed, a venti,smoked,double espressor, more cream. And not to totally go off the side, but what do people get when they are searching for BBC on the Internet? Do they really get the news, but get other results? After talking about coffee, we went onto wrestles, Macho Man, Hulk Hogan, and Owen Hart. So CVS is being sued - this is what happens; he was getting Viagra and paying cash, and his wife

On this week's episode, we starting out by being not sorry about anything, with a quick hommage to some weird 50's and 60's songs. And how we like our women - coffee, and other various things. We immediately give Hackerman a host of stage names all driven by web tech; PHP, DJ Ruby on Rails, etc. To kick us off, Honch talks about announcing at a race track to get into a news story about a woman getting hit in the face with a hot dog, because as it turns out, if you use an air cannon - people get shot. We guess that is an easy way to get food, albeit something wrapped in duct tape, frankly... So after digging around Reddit, Jethrow wanted to get into some life lessons, including letting other kids borrow your bike, playing with scissors and electricity, and we eventually get into talking about volcanoes. Long story short, you shouldn't try to cook food over a volcano. Would you cook something over a Volcano? After talking about who knows what, Hackerman drops us (in British accent), 'wo

On this episode of Delay Radio, we bring on our newest member, hackerman (is it pronounced hackerman, or hackermen?) and we'll probably spend the rest of eternity trying to shorten his name. Honch went on vacation to Atlanta, Georgia, where he subjected his family to our very own podcast for hours on end -- all the way from Michigan to Georgia. Instead of playing it over his Bluetooth connection, he listened to it over the phone. We're still not sure how he was driving, but apparently it was with one hand against his wife's face. He continued to laugh at all of his own jokes, and perhaps while maintaining an erection. Once the Honch was done talking about vacation, he ended up shopping for lube on Amazon. We don't know why he was shopping lube, but he found a 55 gallon drum on Amazon - which pairs well with his Wish app; he's trying to get a deal. How much is too much lube? (trick question). Turns out that he could get Prime shipping on a massive drum of lube, who knew? So once we wer

On this week's episode of Delay Radio, we have special guest, only known by his intimate circle of friends as Protor - he had the right to remain silent apparently, so he did...well for the most part. D starts off with his 'juicy' story in a batman voice (only part of the time). The ultimate level of irony plays out. So a man has been arrested with gun posession charges, but the irony is that he has a tattoo of a pistol on his head. He has a felony conviction on his record, so he cannot own a gun. On top of that, he was driving his Toyota Camry (without all season tires) and slammed it into a pole. So he's pretty classy as you can imagine. Why would you bust a guy like this? After talking about the guy who crashed his Camry, Jethrow finds a question from 'Mike Nasty' on Reddit. How do you deal with a person who interrupts peoples' stories to tell their own? Well, you could push them down some stairs, get up and leave (thank you Protor), you could spray it with a spray bottle

On this week's comedy news podcast, we have a few funny topics, including rats and ATM's (with the weird news noise), and an update from the Alabama poop train from Honch, and some other things. Immediately, before actually talking about the knews, we get off topic, discussing Seinfeld and showering with food. Croutons will definetely not work in the shower. So we finally get onto the news story, which is an update from 7 months ago (we think, we don't understand the concept of time). So a train gets stuck in Alabama with a bunch of poop, just sitting in a city. Now we've learned from Honch that the train was finally emptied...and maybe in Georgia, probably somewhere around Atlanta. Sorry people of Atlanta. After talking about trains and poop, we turn to Reddit for some of the best questions that Jethrow found on Reddit. The first question was, what was it like in the 2000's in school? Jethrow and D take a trip back to memory lane about skipping school in the video store, sneaking out

On this week's comedy news podcast, we have a few funny topics. Including, the trademarked smell of play-doh (why don't they just spell it play dough?). In addition to this we have a case of mistaken identify from the police.. Honch jumps in with a story from Vancouver, Canada, where a criminal was listed as a drug dealer #1 on his phone, for which he was busted by police. We also find out what Honch is called on his cell phone. The moral of the story is stop challenging the authority....because there is always a reason why you get arrested...and be careful what your phone calls you After getting arrested by the police, Jethrow tackles questions from Reddit, where we learn about the guys' worst fears including heights, being afraid of bees. Jethrow screams like a girl...and then runs from bees. He's not allergic to bees, but extremely afraid of them...especially the ones in his shed where his lawnmower is. The Honch is afraid of the kids slime, but he's really afraid of snakes and hi