Delay Radio: Comedy,funny News, Funny Stories (fast-ish)

Before we recorded this week's episode, Honch made everyone Chicken Schwarma and Gordy accidentally clogged the D's toilet with his meat poops.And the kicker is that we forced him to talk about it after D's wife texted him to come up stairs and help out by finding a plunger. A woman whose name is Amethyst fell in love with a ghost named Ray. Apparently they joined the mile high club on one of her flights. Well, things started going poorly and the woman believed that the ghost was distanced, and perhaps cheating on her. She called the wedding off. Gordy then takes the topic down into a completely different direction. Listen and Subscribe On:Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-tell-our-wives-warm-beer-and-cheap-comedy-and-news-ish/id1355526064Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/e381a44d-6804-4e4c-8a66-3f2bb8c95ea7/Dont-Tell-Our-Wives-Warm-Beer-Cheap-Comedy-and-NewsSpotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2PKE9J2XIDd13xsCzvu5EVGoogle Play: https://podcasts.google.co

In this episode, we start off our introductions as we always do, but this time, Honch threatened to take his shirt off with his Danny Devito grin. We always introduce Gordy as a character from a movie - Howard The Duck in this case. Once we finally go to the news, Bubba took us down the rabbit hole on Subway in Ireland. In the country, the ratio of flour to sugar is apparently...important. The issue went all the way to the courts, where the bread at Subway is not legally bread. There are taxes that you would pay when you enter a certain category of food, and Subway has argued they don't belong. This quickly turned to the quest for cheap burgers...and then back to the 'tax refunds' for Subway. The lawsuit is apparently stressful for Bubba, because it is giving him a migraine headache. Maybe he's a little too carb loaded. When Honch worked at Subway, he had the nickname 'roast beast', and used to profile what sandwich someone would order based on who walked in the door. He then pro

We kick off this episode with a question for the audience. WHICH ONE OF US SOUNDS LIKE HOWARD STERN? Honch takes us on a lesson on 'what makes a man'. Apparently, no man buns, no skinny jeans, and no makeup are allowed to qualify. As for attitudes, any guy who is afraid to make a decision is not a man - or if all he does is make excuses. Gordy takes us down the story of 'James'. James goes into the military, and is having relationship trouble. It started off light with a few escorts, gets injured, and then tries to transition back to his normal routine. After returning home, James seeks out his local friendly neighborhood hooker. He picks up a cougar on a dating website, and there are no photos. He finds a woman and it ends up being HIS BEST FRIEND'S MOM. Bubba becomes an instant expert on his story coming out of the United Kingdom. At a local zoo, 5 African Gray parrots were put into isolation after they taught eachother how to swear at patrons in the zoo. They are going to replace t

Honch kicks us off with stories about him getting on planes again. When Honch went through security, he made observations of other individuals  and their crazy masks. Basically, Honch walks into a bathroom at 4:30 am in the morning, and it was a complete nightmare. After boarding, the man sitting next to him ate all his snacks and left him at the gate.Gordy discusses a man in Lincoln, Nebraska that went up in front a bunch of a city council a true American hero, a true patriot if you will. He does not like the term boneless chicken wing. If you haven't seen the speech, you should check it out on YouTube or in your Facebook video feed! In the speech, her proposed removing boneless chicken wings from all menus, or renaming them.Bubba then takes us on the 'pun intended' news headline adventure, calling out news titles across the globe. We end the night with a man who ran around his house to get a fly, but ended up causing an explosion. Listen and Subscribe On:Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.

Before each recording session, the team just sits around and talks. While discussing, D told us about the days of being in a band, eating breakfast before a show, which turns into a mess. Additionally, they discussed run-ins with an anarchist group who raised chickens and owned their own music venue.Listen and Subscribe On:Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-tell-our-wives-warm-beer-and-cheap-comedy-and-news-ish/id1355526064Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2PKE9J2XIDd13xsCzvu5EVGoogle Play: https://podcasts.google.com/?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8xNjAwODIucnNziHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/31084705Pocket Cast: http://pca.st/itunes/1355526064Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=436282&refid=stprCastro: https://castro.fm/itunes/1355526064Castbox: http://castbox.fm/vic/1355526064?ref=buzzsproutRSS Feed: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/160082.rss

We started this episode off as a complete train wreck. We were dertailed by the fact that Honch was wearing a holster that contained Texas Pete hot sauce. Yes, you heard that right. He litereally carries around a holster full of hot sauce. And by the way, this is our 69th episode.Gordy starts us off with a 'birthday'. It is grandma's birthday, and the granddaughter of said grandma was feeling a bit riskay, looking for some solo-loving. She proceeds to purchase a vibrator/dildo, but she found out that it shipped to her grandmother's house and then handed off to her father. Since she didn't receive her package, Amazon proceeded to send another one to grandma. After facing the music during Christmas, her father proceeds to inform her to stop sending grandma sex toys.Have you ever seen Iron Man in person? Not Robert Downey Jr. at the movie theater, but an actual Iron Man. At an airport, a man was spotted by multiple pilots, floating with a jetpack at approximately 3,000 ft. The FAA is cur

Honch is running for President. Not really, Honch has uncovered a news story about his future state. An old man has duped many women by posing online as both a young looking man and that man's father. He would post online to unsuspecting females, and then bait-and-switch them out to have sex with his older father, who faked that the man required sex to live.Bubba closes out his 3 week segment of "1958 Dating Tips".A nude man in Germany was hanging out at the beach, when he was approached by a wild boar. He was able to scare him off, and it is not the first time it has happened to the man and his friends.In Japan, they have done something making it easier to see if a toilet has been used before you use it in Japan. That's right, the country has been unveiling toilets, where they are clear until someone sits on them. That means that you can see everything!Listen and Subscribe On:Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-tell-our-wives-warm-beer-and-cheap-comedy-and-news-ish/i

In this week in Stupid, the Honch kicks us off quickly with a story about a man who went to a store, stole from it several times during the day, and then came back and ended up getting a job application after getting several 'free' pairs of sunglasses.Bubba let's us know that if we're looking for a man, then we should order our steaks rare? These are some really bad dating tips from the 1958. Gordy discusses an Amazon delivery driver that while leaving a package at a woman's home, a man ran from his van to her garden. While he wasn't stealing fire wood as suspected, the man was actually taking a dump on her property. Where do you go in-case of an emergency?Have you ever had to put out a fire? What would you typically use? Well, a California man when dealing with the recent California fires, had to resort to something very unusual to put out his fire. Beer. Yes, that's right, BEER. After having exhausted other resources, the man used quite a few cans of Bud Light to put out a

Every week, we introduce Gordy as a celebrity that he is not, and this week is he Balki from the classic TV show Perfect Strangers. Sorry for Honch's crunching on his 'Speedway" Baby Back Rib ruffled chips (not a paid placement). Now on to the news, a restaurant in China has asked patrons to weigh themselves when they come in. When you enter the restaurant you do a weigh in, and based on your numbers you are suggested items to eat during your time there. Apparently this comes from the country's initiatives around food waste, but definitely fat shaming - which turns into a discussion around a group of guys on YouTube that do the 'all you can eat buffet' challenge - which you still pay top price in Las Vegas.A man in Cleveland, Ohio when to a bank to rob it, and on his way there, grabbed something to write his note on. As it turns out, that note was written on DMV paperwork. The police showed up hours later...and it is all over. Then things go well...wrong-ish.The 1950's have

Gordy is out again this week, locked in a theater watching Pet Cemetary (just kidding). On this week's episode, we discuss a man named Malcolm McDonald, whom had a condition (which is really bad and sad). But what we're really struggling with is the fact that Doctors are having him grow his penis replacement on his arm. Aren't there other places to grow a new one?Have you ever had something in your hand and set it down, and then wonder where you put it? In Walla Walla, Washington a state library was doing some cleaning during this whole COVID/Corona Virus thing, the library was removing shelving and items from the mystery section, where the found some beer and gum that was there for more than 30 years, which it was a 5 pack of Hamm's beer and Godzilla gum (looks like Big League Chew). Would you eat or drink it?Are you up for a 18 Karat gold mask? If so, it'll cost you $1.5 million USD dollars....from an Israeli jeweler. The white gold mask will also include 3,600 white and black diamo

This is our first episode back recording from the whole COVID-19/Corona Virus thing. We have finally started back up, trying to find our way away. But we're back and we're so ready, but without Gordy this week (whom we have joked that he stars in Stranger Things, but he only looks like the character Dustin).We finally got into the news, where Honch brings his love for Detroit Lions, but he's not talking about the Tiger King, he is talking about the Washington Redskins changing their name. What we need to ask is, what do they change their name to? That said, they changed did finally change their name to "The Washington Football Team". Literally the most literal name you could go with....seriously that is the best that their marketing/PR department could come up with? They are only putting numbers on their helmet, with no identifying logo.After discussing the names of sports team, clearly the only thing to talk about immediately after that is robots. But there is a tie in with the prior

We started off with Honch, who was discussing the things that he does to piss his wife off - whom I believe was using the term "Gordo".When Honch is needed, he'll go out to the garage and then do nothing, including him listening to Amazon Music. Honch's wife was not a fan of him buying a new truck - so without any money. He then asked the guys, what we do to make our wives angry. When the D's wife cooks, which is not her forte' - she makes these meals, and then the D takes ALL of it and then throws it into the trash. Gordy likes to make his wife angry with the 'Dad Yawn', making it loud and prominent as possible, and he gets the death stare. Bubba typically goes to bed late, where he'll start doing chores. Bubba is out nailing items to the wall during a recent move, but that's not the kicker. Bubba will close his evening by taking a nice bag of chips in bed, which the grease reminded Honch of a girl in college.There's a man who is enlisting the help of fr

It has been awhile since our last episode. In fact, we had just recorded before COVID, but after being in a bit of a shutdown, we're finally back at it. But first, a few pre-COVID episodes to prime your ears.After a brief intro, Honch kicks us off with a couple who decided that they wanted to make money by selling tickets to Heaven, and apparently they are solid gold. Doesn't that sort of remind you of the Charlie and The Chocolate Factory? As you'll hear in the story, it started when the couple had an 'epiphany' in a KFC parking lot, where he said Jesus gave him the tickets, of which, he said he would wear a wire to catch him.His wife just wanted to get drugs, a trip to space, and a baby allegator. Did you ever think that when you didn't hear from family, that it could be that your wife essentially faked your death and had your grave. He has declared that he is alive. After talking about a case of fake death, Gordy tell us about going Salmon fishing, which is not really what the

We startup this episode with the Honch trying to play footsie with the D, so we're not really sure what is going on. Whatever it is...completely disgusting. We tackle the topic a woman that was arrested after blasting AC/DC's Highway To Hell and other loud music from her home, and she threw a frying pan at a member of her family. She was arrested 4 times in 26 hours. And apparently, she should just use headphones.Would you look at a hotel special if you got a free room for getting pregnant? IF you have a baby from a Valentines Day 'nooner', you got a place to stay for 18 years, which is when they become an adult.What do you think about the shower? Bubba tries to get us to think about really weird subjects in the shower, which includes your head travelling, pizza ovens, and more. The Honch closes us down with a little 'can do' automotive advice. Listen and Subscribe On:Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-tell-our-wives-warm-beer-and-cheap-comedy-and-news-ish/

On this episode, Gordy is out, so it is just the D, Honch, and Bubba. It starts up really awkward with the Honch kicking us off with a story of McDonald's, including how to get hundreds of nuggets. What did it mean when for years we ate nuggets, but all of a sudden they announced all white meat. What were we eating before? However, that wasn't really the point of the topic, as a woman in Toledo, Ohio was so angry that she when was being rung up in the drive-thru, she pulled ahead to the next window where she was told that they were out of nuggets. The woman leaned out and slapped the employee in the face. OVER NUGGETS. Is that as bad as the shake machine going down?Do you like giant candy bars? Bubba likes Reese's, the Honch likes Take 5. The Hershey company released a massive Take 5 bar. They took on Mars making the Snickers bar, which must of had something to do with the Superbowl 2020 commercial featuring a giant Snickers bar. If you could have a candy bar in giant form, what would it be?Are

A 365 pound man ordered a pizza and was angry because he ordered garlic knots and didn't get them. He was so angry that he ended up punching the delivery man in the face. We're going to go out on a limb and say that he didn't get a tip. An Australian man filled his entire vehicle with water and drove it to the liquor store. He was wearing scuba gear and had modified the vehicle so that you could drive it with water. That is certainly one way to do a beer run. The Honch then tells us about his parents getting 'flooded' out at the car wash, after wrapping up a date with his new girlfriend.Also 'just in', a worker at a Best Buy in Hawaii had noticed a man stealing from the location more than once, so she attacked the man. As Gordy stated, "she wasn't having it." What some didn't know is that the worker had put in her 2 week notice to leave the company, but she was fired for the altercation.A Kansas man has asked the judge to settle divorce terms with things

In this episode, Honch gets us started off with what he does best, talking about the adult industry. A man is suing PornHub, claiming that the adult entertainment website doesn't provide closed caption for the hearing impaired. As it turns out, the VP of PornHub, Corey Price, publically responded that they have over 400 videos with CC. But how would they spell out certain things that take place in these videos, such as the sound of moaning. Have you been to Nevada? If you're there right now, you may run into a pidgeon that has been walking and flying around with a sombrero hat. Earlier in 2019, people had spotted pidgeons wearing tiny cowboy hats. Would they add in tiny spurs? If you see it, please let us know!Someone was on a plane from Texas to Chicago, and there was a drug fest. We don't really know how else to say it, but it included probably the grossest loogie ever described by mankind. Bubba closes us down with dad jokes, but Honch has the last word with a drunken summary of our cruise s

In this episode, the Honch is always here because we can't rid of him. And now with our new team member Gordy, we introduce him as someone who played Charlie in Kinky Boots. Quickly we start in a little bit of a tiff. The Honch doesn't now how to pronounce Billie Eilish and he isn't a fan, but the D is a closet fan. It is not pronounced Billy Eyelash.The Honch kicks off the news with a story coming out Missouri and Oklahoma. At an adult store, there was a carjacking involving a truck, a meth head, and a goat. We feel really bad for the goat, which makes us goat sympathizers. What happened to the goat?What happens in the beginning of Big Lebowski? If you said tumbleweeds you are correct. In the state of Washington, tumblegeddon happened. Several cars and trucks were trapped when tumbleweeds took over the highway, which resulted people missing the New Years celebration.After the news, Gordy shares a story about him being on vacation in Mexico, where he opened the cooler. He thought it was a bug,

With our latest cast, Gordy is now introduced as a cast member of voice from various movies, of which he isn't. This week, we said that he was the voice of Johnny 5 in the 80's classic Short Circuit. It was a crew of 3 this week, as Bubba is currently out of commision but returning soon!We're not sure if anyone knew this, but the Honch went to college and knew a guy who liked GILF and it's exactly what you think. His roommate would track down older women, spend $40 on PBR, and take people back to his room...yeet. The Honch had to sleep on the bottom bunk, which has made us all fortunate to hear some of his college life stories.A Colorado man was feeling a little bit more giving this holiday season. A man in Colorado actually had robbed a bank, left the bank, and while making his way to his local Starbucks, was throwing money at people and yelling Merry Christmas. He sat and waited for the cops to arrest him. Good guy or bad guy?Gordy poses the absolute necessity to make a decision. Who wou

This week is still just the D and 'The Honch' together. In a basement. Alone. Honch rants about anti-vaccinations, including Jenny McCarthy, who thought that her and 'other moms' got autism from vaccinations. D didn't know that that whole story was unnearthed, but is this true?But that is not the worst of the conversation. There was a lady in Australia that laced suckers with chicken pox, and then proceeded to hand them out to kids.Do you like Jacuzzis? If you're looking for a great holiday/Christmas gift. There is a company that sells a jacuzzi for your balls or testicles (if you want to be more scientific). It is called the Testicuzzi, and it will keep your region ultra relaxed, and apparently they get their own spa day. And the coolest thing about it is that they used a 3D printer to prototype it, and you can get it in a multitude of colors.Listen and Subscribe On:iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-tell-our-wives-warm-beer-and-cheap-comedy-and-news-ish/id135552