Dongtini

Back from a long break! Stephy reports on Jesus Camp, Simone straightens things out with her undies, and the word cunt is bandied about like nobody's business.

Richard Dawkins,objectively cute babies, Hemlock Grove, disappointment with fudge, and a Dongtini book club proposal.

Simone relays questionable intelligence from the Muslim scientific community and Stephy wants to stay at a monastery.

Simone makes her official birth press release, Stephy reports on porn and pancake church events, and both ladies got down Behind The Candelabra.

Stephy is uncharacteristically startled by an onslaught of dongs, Simone gets sentimental about Muppet Babies, and everyone is emotional about the last episode before Dongtini goes on maternity leave.

Boston bombing hookups and other unpublicized tragedy, dumb pregnancy advice, and more Amazon reviewers rate shit they didn’t use.

Simone is fucking outraged at a swearing guy, Stephanie shares a wealth of info after her documentary overdose, and a Russian takes an ass kicking way too far.

Simone had a baby shower that was actually fun, Stephy is panned by critics/pastors, and Donna Martin had really weird cleavage.

Simone rants about the new novel based on The Bible miniseries, Stephy was really concerned about Amy Grant’s whorish videos, and Simone reads Amazon reviews written by dumb cunts.

Simone reads the recipe for Resurrection Rolls (SPOILER ALERT the tomb is empty) and Stephy thinks Passion Of The Christ is a snuff film.

Simone is awarded VIP handicapped pregnant lady parking, Stephy found a new horribly wonderful movie in the realm of "The Room," and we wonder how much latent misogyny we just automatically accept.

Simone is furious with all the idiotic Amazon reviews, Stephy wants to balance kindness with anger in regards to feminism, and The Onion helps us process childhood balloon-losing trauma.

Stephy has chronically misplaced logic, Simone was rewarded for being rear-ended, and we both wake up looking forward to naps.

Simone got rear-ended, Stephy encountered her longtime stalker, and we talk about the Onion c-word tweet.

Simone overcomes the adversity of pronouncing American R's, Stephy got a dentist's boob all to herself, and the politics of Valentine's evil are discussed.

Stephanie made a bunch of people mad by saying a very very very baaaaaad word, Simone wrote a disgruntled letter to an irresponsible chocolatier, and together we measured our dongs using the Condom Size app.

Simone’s behind-the-scenes of an infomercial she appeared in, Stephy’s art of calling in sick to work, and becoming vegetarian.

Simone’s trash celebrity boycott, Stephy’s breathless emails from captivity, and a bar with a giant whale dong.

Simone makes a giant dong-centric announcement, the ladies engage in cognitive behavioral therapy, and Stephy is hit on by someone wheeling around his own urine.

Simone rescues kittens from her demented neighbor, Stephy pissed off Mars Hill Church some more, and Singing In The Rain is really good, goddammit.