John Branyan's Comedy Sojourn Podcast

It's a SCANDAL, Neighbor!  Our 11-year-old boy was the target of racist insults at school... You won't believe the audacity of that 3rd grade bully. But that's nothing compared with the text message that is causing grown women to FEAR FOR THEIR BABIES.  Tune in to laugh with us about the state of the country post-election--and to rejoice that the old Leftist tactics of calling everything "racist" don't seem to be working any longer! (Email the Comedian at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com) 

In this conversation, the hosts explore various themes surrounding holiday decorations, particularly wreaths, and the cultural significance of Thanksgiving. They delve into the absurdity of certain holiday traditions and the role of food in celebrations, while also reflecting on the uniqueness of American holidays compared to global practices. In this lively conversation, the hosts delve into the cultural significance of Thanksgiving, exploring the irony of celebrating American gratitude with foods that are rarely consumed outside the holiday. They humorously discuss the need for turkey to have a more prominent role in American cuisine and brainstorm ideas for a Thanksgiving-themed restaurant. The conversation takes a whimsical turn as they consider unconventional meats, including chipmunks and groundhogs, and share a humorous anecdote about a blue heron incident, highlighting the absurdity of culinary traditions. In this lively conversation, the hosts delve into the culinary traditions of Thanksgiving, explo

Hey, Neighbor! Our Australian friend, Jasmine, has left the table--but her visit was so refreshing!  She went Trick-or-Treating for the very first time, and it led to discussions about whether Satan's Holiday can be redeemed...  (When is it appropriate to decorate with skulls.) Next: The Peaches shares her theory that "The Nightmare Before Christmas" is a Gospel story.) Later: When it comes to the election, DON'T TALK ABOUT POLITICS AT CHURCH! Make sure you stay neutral, like that person who constantly talks about how Jesus wasn't a Democrat or a Republican.  Contact us by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com

Sound Bites "Sometimes people die and they don't tell you.""I think the best way to go would be on top of an asteroid detonating a nuclear device.""Do you gather everybody together under the pretenses of something else?""Let's get the parasites.""Are you gonna stop eating red dyed food now because you know that it's coming from a bug?""Cereal, the reason that they color food is because the natural color of things after it's been processed is usually like gray or brown.""I don't think I'm chewing on enough copper""Hehehehehe""I eat a slice of Wonder Bread and I'm good to go"  

Sorry this episode is a tad late, Neighbor. We're enjoying this week with our friend from Australia, Jasmine! Listen to the playful chatter for awhile... Then, help us determine the difference between a Friend and a Fan!

Sound Bites "I'm actually... You can't see the sweat, but I've got two little sweat marks on my shirt.""I brought the incredibly funny Lisa Gilbert who has a Dry Bar special out and what's it called? All the Time Tired.""No outside carry-in food, drink or ice cream products. That's literally what it said.""That sounds like barbaric to me. That sounds like something that you wouldn't need to do in modern times, Brian.""Yeah, I like it. I'm a fan. I get that in the sushi, so.""He misses a lot of spots, so I still have a lot of work to do, but it's still helpful.""Santa's dead.""The responsibility of my kids still believing in Santa or not is not mine as a parent. It's not for me to tell them. I'm not going to have blood on my hands. It is all the kids on the playground.""I'm not signing for a fake guy anymore."  

We have an important question for you today:  when you travel, do you unpack your suitcase and put things in the hotel dresser??? And speaking of traveling, the Peaches has a HOT TIP for packing clothes for lots of kids!   Then: here's a sermon illustration you probably should NOT use... and an example of the world's worst Humor Sermon.  Later: Put on your serious pants, because we have another important question. Can you be a homeschool parent if you think Elon Musk is smart?  The internet sounds off. Finally, contact the Comedian's family to tell us how many days a retreat or conference needs to last...  nextdoor@johnbranyan.com 

Imagine our shock and horror when we realized this gem had been skipped over!  It's here now and that's all that matters.   "Why have we never seen a book written from the opposite perspective?" "Men don't mind being objectified. That's every man's dream." "In this dystopian future, men would be content with their role as sex slaves." "Kids start to act better during December because Christmas is coming" "What they should do is take your annual raise and divide it by 52" "When she's mad, she doesn't care that she's taller than me" "Boredom for parents is just a distant dream" "Nothing thrills me like washing the dishes" "Boredom is intended to be a punishment"

Welcome to the table, Neighbor.  Is there anything more manly than mowing your lawn?   Modern gas cans suuuuuuuck.  And also--if you have a bald baby girl, just put a bow on her head when you're going out! It will be a courtesy to strangers in public... To contact The Comedian's Family, email nextdoor@johnbranyan.com . 

Sound Bites "I made a sound, a pretty girly, feminine sound.""He was clinging to my arm as I tried to get him off.""Hornets are the jerks of the animal world.""There aren't very many cool injuries though, really.""Yeah, or you were trying to like rescue somebody from like, you know, push a car out of the street or something.""I don't ever want to be stung by anything that isn't a murder hornet.""Leaving early at a thing that you enjoy. That's funny.""It's like, spoiler, Dorothy makes it home in The Wizard of Oz.""It's like you're not getting out of the parking lot before me, pal.""War of the Worlds, the movie by Orson Welles, before inspired by the radio play by Orson Welles, inspired by the short story by Jules Verne written in 1890? That ending?""My dad likes to arrive everywhere early. He  also likes to leave everywhere early""It's not even watered down mango juice. I know you don't like the taste of mango."  

The McKinney's have BIG NEWS.  (So, here's an obscure quote from an old movie... do you recognize it?) We chat about all the horn-tooting compliments we've received this week.  Then: John shares another example of "men can't win" with the Feminists, no matter what they do. Later:  You get to hear the advice that John shared with a Highschool-age Peaches YEARS AGO and has been repeated countless times since... Finally:  What would you do in a crisis situation? Would you steal? Murder? Eat your loved ones? Who really knows for sure????? Christians really need to stop saying they may or may not act like Pagans when they're caught in a hurricane and forced to sin...   Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com  

Takeaways Natural conversation is key in stand-up comedy, and segues are not always necessary.Internet connectivity can be unpredictable, causing interruptions in online conversations.The ironclad beetle is a fascinating creature that can withstand immense pressure.Being in the same room during a podcast recording can eliminate technical issues and improve the overall experience. Incorporating elements of a rock concert into a comedy show can add excitement and enhance the comedic experience.Audience participation can be a fun and engaging way to involve the crowd in the comedy show.Breaking up with a realtor can be awkward, but it's important to be upfront and honest about your decision.The real estate industry can be confusing, with different types of agents and agreements, but it's important to understand the process when buying or selling a house. Sound Bites "You don't need segues, just transition to whatever it is and who cares.""There's a beetle that you can drive a car over and not crush it.""They're

Welcome, Pkarghl!  The Pod Ninja saw a church sign that he didn't like very much...  If you want to make things REALLY WEIRD for the men at your church, John and Luke can tell you how.  Then: God is very mad at librarians...  But let John tell you about his conversation with Sheila Gregoire first. Later:  If you want the PERFECT GAME for bossy women--may we suggest The Sims?  Or Roller Coaster Tycoon?   Contact the comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com 

Just me and Luke today. We manage to discuss some important concepts even without Brian and Juan. Takeaways Honesty in social interactions can lead to better understanding and communication.Sometimes we do things we don't want to do to accommodate our spouses or loved ones.Different people have different approaches to activities and hobbies.The discovery of sharks with cocaine in their system raises questions about drug use in aquatic animals. Sound Bites "So you'd rather the honesty of knowing that you were not as good as something else?""I don't think that you necessarily have to want to go to a place in order to go to a place if your wife wants you to go there.""There's so many things that I want to know about. Specifically, I want to know how long the guy who tests drugs, who tests sharks for drugs, I want to know how long he's been doing that job."  

Hey, Neighbor. If this is your first episode--please don't assume we ALWAYS talk about bodily functions...  But, we're talking about them today.  Two-month-old Bridger's life has improved significantly since probiotics turned his poo yellow. (That's the color a breastfed baby's poo is SUPPOSED to be.)  From there, the conversation about ways to heal your gut biome just gets weirder and weirder... Joe stops in temporarily, to offer his expert opinion about fecal transplants.  Later:  John wants to talk about the Steve Lawson Scandal, even though nobody at his church knows who Steve Lawson is... Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com

The gang dives into theme songs, chronic pain, and the mysterious allure of pickup trucks. We swap hilarious stories about cigarette lighters, Fourth of July shenanigans, and the quirks of patriotism. Things get wild with tales of fireworks, vending machine ammo, and our lack of culinary snobbery—let’s just say we’re not foodies! We wrap up with a light chat about edible bowls and a missing host. You're welcome to tag along!

Hey, Neighbor! The McKinney Kids are at the table for another improv game.   They answer some important questions--just one word at a time. We love laughing with these crazy characters... How do you know you've had a great birthday party? What's the best way to get rid of hornets? How do you make a birdhouse? Find out on today's episode. Email the Comedian's Family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com

The gang gets nostalgic about cars, laughing over how we remember them more than people’s names. We joke about using cars as nicknames—hilarious or creepy? You decide. We also dive into the quirks of self-checkout machines and their fake gratitude, wishing they’d just give us a sarcastic “thanks.” Then, it’s all about weird food combos, like ice cream on hot stuff (why?), fried ice cream, and the genius idea of a cookie dough caulking gun. We wrap things up with a silly take on the phonetic alphabet and Morse code.

You can't just sit and listen to a podcast, Pkarlgh!  The Podcast Ninja has spoken.   Turns out, all of our attention spans are shorter than we'd like...   What's the minimum amount of time you have to concentrate on something for it to count as "focus?" Then: Joe and Luke both have the sort of study habits that make their wives craaaaaazy.  Later: Play "guess that word" with Emmi's spelling test.   Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. 

The gang, with special guest Curtis Crow, dives into the hilarious transition from young to old—think reading glasses, sensible shoes, and pharmacy apps. We also chat about the wacky world of Guinness World Records and the absurdity of some titles. Then, we tackle the ultimate culture clash: marriage. Cue the awkward gift-giving scenarios with white elephants and secret Santas, and brace yourself for the laugh-out-loud idea of the "Joelympics"—where regular folks compete in everyday tasks like grocery bag hauling and car packing. We wrap it up with some honest family talk, exploring the quirks of communication and the art of not offending Aunt Mildred.