A Conversation With Gangaji

He is a hip hop artist whose words and music have provided a message of clarity, optimism and peace to millions. For over 25 years, she has pointed us to freedom by inviting us to look deeper than our thoughts. What happens when two people from very different backgrounds come together to talk about skin color? This month, Prince Ea sits down with Gangaji for a special feature of A Conversation with Gangaji. Where does racism come from? How do we face the truth about our own prejudices? In these turbulent times, is it possible to transcend our differences?  

  How many times have we been betrayed by a lover, a friend, a family member or an institution? How many times have we witnessed others being treated unfairly, people we care about or even people we don't even know? And what about the state of the planet? Perhaps it's built into us as humans to want justice. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. But when we get caught up in this desire to remedy unfairness, what is it that we're actually looking for? What is the deeper question when it comes to our search for justice?  

Have you ever asked what it means to just be yourself?   The answer to that might seem easy, but maybe not. Have you ever thought to yourself, I'm not quite myself today.  What does that mean?   Maybe you feel like you have to be a certain person depending on different situations. Are you your sex, the different roles you play in life, your successes and failures? For some us, we can be so practiced at who we think we should be that the question of being our true selves can be surprisingly perplexing. It could also be the most important questions we can ask. What does it mean to be yourself?  

Aging is sometimes called the great humbler. Some embrace it. Some dread it.   But most of us vacillate between the loving the good parts and resisting the reality that our bodies and brains have a limited shelf life. What does that mean for our quality of life? Aging is an involuntary invitation to seeing how we are attached to who we want to be and where we are afraid to let go. But if we shift our attention in a certain way we might find our ideas about aging aren't quite as concrete as we thought.    

When a strong emotion like anger or fear or sadness pops up there seems to be an automatic impulse to get rid of it, or at least to try and manage it. It's as if these feelings of ours are something dangerous, something that might overwhelm us, or at the very least, something that interferes with our lives. Is there a way to transcend these emotions of ours? What if we choose not to do anything with them? Is giving up the habit of trying to escape them a doorway to liberation?   

Sometimes there seems to be a little competition that goes on within ourselves between confidence and doubt. I'm good at this, but not so good at that. I'm smart. I'm attractive. I'm able. But sometimes it feels like I'm not. If doubt is nothing more than a bad habit and confidence is fleeting and somewhat superficial, then what's deeper, more trustworthy than both of those things? Is there a place within all of us that is rooted in a certainty that transcends both confidence and doubt? And if so, how do we find it?  

It's irritating at the very least, someone assumes what you're thinking or feeling, or what you need to do. Perhaps you have someone in your life right now who is just certain they know what is true for you. In an extreme way, perhaps it's even an abusive relationship. Do we ignore their projections? Do we not take them personally? Do we stay or do we go? If we find that projections in general aren't ultimately based in reality then how do we find solid ground when it comes to relationships?  

How many times have we been triggered by friends, co-workers, family members or acquaintances in some way that seems separate from us? Perhaps we've found them controlling, needy, critical, arrogant or self-absorbed. Are they simply displaying difficult parts of their personalities or are they are mirroring back to us some part of ourselves we'd rather not see? Projections and assumptions cause all kinds of trouble in relationships. Getting at the root of them can open up all sorts of possibilities.  

The sense of freedom and intimacy that happens by the sheer willingness to be vulnerable can be life-changing, somethings in ways we could never have expected. It takes courage to let down our defenses and expose the ways we feel wrong or afraid or embarrassed. But what about the times we are caught off guard, when we are put on the spot in ways that are not by our own choice? This month, Gangaji looks at voluntary and involuntary vulnerability and what role they play in living a fuller life. How can the willingness to be exposed put an end to suffering?  

Alanis Morissette is known by million by the way she so rawly communicates the human experience through her songs. But over the years, she's also been willing to share her spiritual journey with all of us. In this very special episode of A Conversation with Gangaji Alanis Morissette talks to Gangaji about success and failure, the difference between pain and suffering, and the deeper meaning of living life dedicated to the truth.  

When we really stop and look at our lives there's a lot to be grateful for, even when it doesn't appear to be obvious. What's also true is that gratitude comes and goes. For some, gratitude seems to come easily. Does that have to do with one's upbringing or are some people just born that way? And is it okay if we don't feel grateful at times? How does one experience gratitude when life feels hard? Rather than seeking it, is gratitude possibly part of the fabric of who we truly are?

Our question this month is: What do we do when we are faced with the unthinkable? Perhaps it comes in the form of a difficult diagnosis, the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, or just witnessing man's inhumanity to man. How do we find a sense of love and peace when what we are experiencing feels like struggle? How do we know when to hang on and when to let go? And do people who have had profound spiritual awakenings experience difficulty differently than others? Gangaji's answer to that question is both surprising and humbling.

In our everyday lives, we have ideas about what we like, what we dislike. We notice moments when we've made a mistake. But there's another voice that whispers in our ear. It's the voice of the critic. It's the judge. Gangaji refers to it as the super ego. It's the task master who speaks with the authority of God. It tells us we should be better, smarter, happier. It's like a club that we not only beat ourselves with, we also inflict this voice on others, whether it be outwardly or in our own heads. The question is, how do we put down the stick of the super ego, this God voice, and live our lives in peace?

Perhaps it is something that every human being experiences at some point in the course of a lifetime, even if it's only once, even if it goes unrecognized. Gangaji refers to it as “the essential experience”. It's a moment when any identity with ourselves as a set of feelings, thoughts or circumstances is somehow absent. It can happen in nature, in the midst of a trauma or even when nothing in particular is happening. For some people this “essential experience” ignites a call to a bigger life. But the desire for it can also perpetuate the search for what is already here.

In April of 1990, Gangaji (then Antoinette Varner) could never have imagined how drastically her life was about change when she met her teacher, H.W.L Poonja (Papaji), on the banks of the Ganges river in India. She also would never begin to imagine the number of lives that would be changed as a result of that meeting. Taken from the previously unreleased pilot interview of A Conversation with Gangaji done back in 2011, Gangaji describes one of her most profound moments of awakening and the impact it had on her daily life. At the core, this conversation allows us to see what is possible in our own lives.

In a world where being in control and looking good are often equated with success and stability telling the truth can be a very daunting thing to do. It requires the willingness to expose sadness, anger or fear. It is the courage to admit to the times we have betrayed ourselves and those around us. Although it can be painful, it is also hugely liberating. But is there more than the feeling of freedom that comes with telling what Gangaji refers to as the “relative” truth? Is there an ultimate truth? Beyond any concept, what exactly is the truth?

Thoughts come in the form of an endless stream of considerations and evaluations. They are fueled by our hopes, dreams, insecurities, successes and failures. These thoughts seem so much a part of us that sometimes it's hard to imagine they're not real. But if, even for a moment, we stop following our thoughts, what is left? What is it that is actually trustworthy? Is it our intuition? And what about those of us who find ourselves living in our heads? What if our thoughts, no matter how convincing, ultimately are not true?

How many times, in the name of being liked, have we withheld what we really wanted to say? How many times have we betrayed ourselves so we wouldn't be rejected or judged? Being “nice” potentially blocks us from intimacy with the people closest to us, not to mention ourselves. And what about the parts of us we just plain don't want anyone else to see? Our question this month is, what are the possibilities if we dare to let go of the strategy of being nice?

Although there can be great peace that comes with yoga, meditation and other rituals, there is one question that often goes uninspected when it comes to living a conscious life. And that is, what are the mantras that take up the other hours of our day, the ones about our finances, our health, our relationships? If we tell ourselves the truth, what are we really practicing between our practice? We'll also be talking about the relationship between having a spiritual practice and waking up. And finally, is there a true remedy for a racing mind?

It goes without saying that great value can be found in therapy and other forms of self-inspection. There is huge relief in facing our dark sides, healing our deeper wounds and finally feeling emotions we have been running from. But is there a way that we can work on ourselves and still miss the deeper freedom that we are actually in search of? Our conversation this month is, where does therapy end and and self-realization begin?