A Conversation With Gangaji

Stevie Leppard had everything anyone could want on the outside, lots of money, fancy cars, a successful career, but on the inside his own self-hatred felt intolerable.  Suicide seemed like the only way out.  It was grace that would eventually save him, but it was a fierce grace.   How Stevie would go on to meet Gangaji is just part of his amazing story. 

When hard things in life show up, how do we face the sense of overwhelm that threatens to take us into a spin? Is living a spiritual life ultimately about the hope of avoiding sliding into some sort of abyss? In this repeat episode, Gangaji invites us to inspect whether or not our thoughts about hell are actually different than the experience itself. Rather than giving up, can the challenges in our lives actually be a call to wake up?

What does your life stand for? What do you really want? If the answer is freedom then what does that look like? Does the answer you come up with match your life, how you live your life? Is there something you’re holding onto that keeps you from truly realizing what it means to be free? These are potent questions. And what happens in this particular exchange with Gangaji is different because it is the beginning and end of all conversations.

It was the middle of the night. Harriet Watson was driving down a dark, snow covered road alone, barely able to see what was in front of her. Suddenly, she was startled by a loud thud. In the moments that followed, her life would change forever. From the frustration of a life a rigid rules and beliefs to the experience of profound freedom, this story is a testament to the trustworthiness of life.

With rare exceptions, human beings are innately good. Being in alignment with that goodness feels spacious. We can be greedy, cranky, critical, jealous, but being good? Now that’s seems like an infinitely better way to go. The problem is that being good can be a trap unto itself. Does our capacity for a deeper awaking rely on our willingness to cultivate this goodness within us? Or are we inherently good, without doing a thing?

Control might ultimately be an attempt to fend off our deepest fears. It can show up in all sorts of ways in our everyday lives. It can interfere with relationships. It can also be exhausting. Some people are self-described “control freaks”. For others, control can show up in more subtle ways. Fessing up to our control issues is a pretty tender thing, but when the source of it is finally met, the possibilities are endless.

Just in time for November, we're revisiting a episode we did a while back on the subject of gratitude.  There are so many gems in this one.  Sometimes when we don't feel especially grateful, we feel as though we should, as if feeling ungrateful is something we should avoid.  That's just a jumping off place for one of our favorite conversations. 

When trauma happens, it can change the trajectory of a life. It can color how we see the world around us. We can retreat. We can act out. And we can certainly spend our lives running from it, managing it or even trying to heal it. How do we come to terms with even the deepest of wounds without suffering from the identification as someone who has been hurt or wronged in some way? This episode takes a surprising turn and is one of the most revealing conversations so far.

When you see Kim Rosen on stage performing poetry, she exudes a distinct sense of certainty. But the truth is that for a period of her life she suffered from a particular type of fear that was profoundly painful. Her prayer to be released from it's confines would be answered two different times. And both times that grace came in the form of a poem. In the end, Kim’s story wasn’t about making her fear go away. It was about meeting it and doing life anyway, in a most extraordinary way.

The next episode of Epiphany features Kim Rosen.  Her story will make you believe in the power of courage.  Coming up on September 20th.

Gangaji has always said that inquiry isn't theoretical, it's about real life. This episode is a perfect example of that. Gangaji experienced a serious injury recently. She's going to give us an update, but we're also going to take this as an opportunity to continue our conversation on the body. Difficult things happen to people, no matter their level their awareness, so how does that play out with someone like Gangaji? How do we face our fear of losing when unexpected things happen in life? Gangaji addresses all of the above, and more, on this new episode of Gangaji Radio.

The body is the first way we're identified in this world. It's our unique gateway to experiencing sound, touch, seeing beautiful things, and it's a way we connect with each other. But in times of pain or challenging emotions, being in a body can seem like a burden. If we could just fix it, make it look the way we want it to, then maybe we would be liberated. The question is, do we ask too much of these bodies of ours? This month, Gangaji explores both the bliss and the existential crisis of being in a body.

Kenny Johnson was trapped in a life that seemed impossible to escape. You could call it a kind of hell. He spent more than twenty years in prison, sometimes just fighting for his life. What he wanted was just to be free. What happened to him was beyond his wildest imagination. This month's epiphany story is about amazing grace. It's about discovering light in the darkest of places.

Preview our next Epiphany episode, The Last Hustle.  Kenny Johnson spent over twenty years in prison.   What he wanted was to be free.  What he got was something he could have never imagined.  Coming up May 17th.

It's easy to experience silence or stillness in the midst of deep meditation or in a moment of appreciating the beauty in the world. But what about the times when we're upset or angry? How about the times when our sense of well being is swept up in whirlwind of fear or sadness? How do we know that who we really are is silence and why is it important? We'll also be talking about difference between space and spaciousness, where intelligent thought comes from, and much more.

A lot has been said about the subjects of karma, fate and destiny. Is the course of our lives predetermined? How is it that some people seem to live a life of abundance while others face huge difficulties? Most of us have probably experienced a bit of both. Is it possible to change our karma? What is the difference between choice and choicelessness? In this episode Gangaji also shares her thoughts on responsibility and the power we have over our karma.

In October of 1998, a talented musician named Craig Johnson, along with millions around the world, was rocked to his core by the brutal murder of Matthew Shepard. It was a hate crime, a hate crime against gays. In the years that followed Matthew Shepard's death, although they never met, he and Craig would become brothers in the deepest sense. At the core of Craig's story is the question, is love present in the midst of the unthinkable?

Coming up this month on Epiphany Grammy Award winning musician Craig Hella Johnson takes us on a journey that began with the 1998 murder of Matthew Shepard.  It asks the question, can love be found in the midst of the unthinkable? Look for it on February 15th.

The bubble of me is made up of my body, my thoughts, my worries, as well as my hopes, dreams and desires. In and of itself, it's neither good nor bad. It's just part of being human. But sometimes there can be a preoccupation with this bubble of me, which perhaps is a distraction from a deeper anxiety. In this conversation, Gangaji also looks at the bubbles we create around our political, social or spiritual beliefs. Is it important to reach beyond our own bubbles? And if so, how do we do that?

 When we feel back into a corner, asking for help can be seem difficult. In fact, it can be sort of an act of courage to do it. In those moments when we call out for help, if we let go of what that might look like, is there a guarantee that our prayer's will be be answered? What about other categories of help, like giving help? When does offering help serve and when does it interfere? When is it actually a distraction? When we move beyond our daily hopes and fears, is there a final prayer just to be free?