Make Room For Sports

Mike berates the NFL draft LIVE FROM PHILADELPHIA: there's a zip line, and the draftees like helping kids, and the traffic was bad. We learn the difference between the films DRAFT DAY and BACKDRAFT, shit talk Malcolm Gladwell, and then decide to talk about quarterbacks for fifteen minutes even though football season is five months away. But eventually–mercifully–we roll up our sleeves and get to the TOP PLAYS OF THE WEEK. Then we decide to learn a thing or two (but no more than two) about tennis, and we help Mikal brainstorm for his new song about the NBA Playoffs. But most important, this week we make podcast history by introducing the PROBLEMATIC SPEECH COUNTER so we can finally become passably decent citizens. Help us help you: makeroomforsports@gmail.com

Our last episode was so replete with errors and misgivings that we spend about twenty minutes this week making amends with America and the world. Then we crack into the HOTTEST SPORTS NEWS of the week: Grayson Allen is returning for one more year of trips and giggles, Blake Griffin has Blake Griffin'd his big toe, what's up with Rondo?, and lots of gum flapping about Houston/OKC. Things take a problematic turn into the world of gangs and sex, but we get back on track with some TOP PLAYS OF THE WEEK. Do it to it: makeroomforsports@gmail.com

We are joined by the suspiciously knowledgeable and charming sports expert Albro Lundy, who puts us through the paces and brings our various ineptitudes into stark relief. After exhausting our baseball knowledge talking about the Marlins' celebrity feral cat, most of the episode is Albro and Dave going full HOOP NERD together in what is, hopefully not for worse, our most professional-seeming episode yet. Help us help you: makeroomforsports@gmail.com

Baby Dash is back on the scene! We have a totally gauche conversation about how much money everyone makes before moving on to the TOP SPORTS NEWS of the week, mainly: Yadier Molina or Tom Brady eats glass or gets a baseball stuck to him, or neither, or something. For some reason, Simon and Mikal role play a patient/therapist scenario, during which the SPORTS BROS get up to date on the best practices in handling panic attacks. After that, things get hard to describe, but for the record: Mikal can't stop thinking about animals that die on the field of play, we're confused about what happens in Detroit or Cleveland or New York, Simon hails from a town of perverts, and we allocate no fewer than four minutes to a delineation of the virtues of CAT NECKTIES. Help us help you: makeroomforsports@gmail.com, or tweet at Simon

Without any regard for our own emotional wellness or audience preference, in what is surely a WORLD HISTORICAL RECORD, we offer a SECOND EPISODE this week: Mike and Mikal pitch a HOOPS MOVIE to Simon, Dave and Simon square off to see who can name more sports in a minute, Simon and Mikal preview the WNBA season, Dave disambiguates the NBA MVP race, and we settle some long-standing feuds and slights. We end up where we always do: talking about the facial hair of the Golden State Warriors and accusing each other of various degrees of political incorrectness. Stand up and be heard: makeroomforsports@gmail.com

It's April Fools' day, but Mikal is wearing compression pants FOR REAL. Mike wins the TOP PLAY OF THE WEEK CONTEST in an apiological tour de force, we talk--yet again--about the difference between Warren and Jimmy Buffett, update America about MARCH MADNESS, and articulate our despair about how long and potentially boring baseball season might be. Plus: Simon lectures his friends about how to chew tobacco and develops his theory of no-pants baseball, Dave improves the show exponentially by keeping a shot clock, and (we're sorry) MUCH, MUCH MORE!!! Helpful links: Mikal's full NCAA song "Don't Drop the Ball" https://soundcloud.com/nastymillionaire/ncaa-march-sadness-dont-drop-the-ball-official-ncaa-theme-song Article and video about Jamarion Styles: http://usatodayhss.com/2017/video-florida-middle-schooler-with-no-arms-hits-buzzer-three Bees on the baseball field: http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/ct-bees-swarm-spring-training-game-20170331-story.html

This is one of our thirteen all-time worst episodes, the lone bright spot of which is the debut of Mikal's new March Madness theme song, "Don't Drop the Ball." Later, Dave scouts the 2017 NBA draft, we meander through the week's "TOP" "PLAYS," talk about punching yet again, and lament our brackets, which are the worst brackets in the world. At the end of the show, Mikal unveils his new segment TOP TALK TOP THREE HOT TODDY, which is worth sticking around for. America has spoken: makeroomforsports@gmail.com

This week on the show, the sports fellows bring their agonizing brilliance to bear on the first two rounds of MARCH MADNESS. Among all the sweet hoops riffs, they manage to MAKE ROOM FOR the all week's hottest sports junk: Mikal's fever dream about the ritualistic cutting of nets, the preponderance of John Turturro haircuts in this year's tournament, the flat Earth: Shaq edition, another round of TOP PLAYS, and reports on the sports movie classics GUS and THE AIR UP THERE as well as popular Japanese anime series KOROKO NO BASKET. We are legally prohibited from not podcasting: makeroomforsports@gmail.com