Harkpodcast

It's Ian's birthday (soon)! So he's running the dang podcast!!! For his Birthday Boy's Choice picks, he lands on two classic-adjacent tunes from years not yet covered on the show. "Happy Holidays" by Bing Crosby (with the Music Maid and Hal and John Scott Trotter and His Orchestra) seems like a commercial for hotels masquerading as a Christmas song, but it's actually a stealth New Year's song masquerading as musical theatre masquerading as a Christmas song. "Winter Weather" by Benny Goodman (with vocals by Peggy Lee and Art Lund) is a refreshing clarinet-heavy palate cleanser. The ranking music in this episode is the medley from history's greatest film, Muppet Family Christmas.

We're back on our bullshit! Our bullshit being "dicussing listener requests". We take a look at two songs with a surprising amount in common - "Lonely Christmas" by WALLIS and "Alien Christmas" by Tay Zonday. Both are 2020 Christmas songs by artists who got their start by going viral on youtube - and both beg the question, "ok but is this good actually?" The ranking music in this episode is "Chocolate Rain" by Tay Zonday. Thank you to our #1 Fan TimeMachine for these requests!

We're going to be taking our next scheduled episode off because we're doing some traveling this month. To help prepare us for our trip to the U.S., we're taking two requests for some good old fashioned American country music. "Christmas Time's A-Comin'" by Emmylou Harris is a song from a country tradition we enjoy, namely bluegrass. "364 Days to Go" by Brad Paisley is ... Well, it's definitely better than his other entry on our list. This week's ranking music is "Christmas Time's A-Comin'" as performed by Bill Monroe. Thank you to James for the requests!

This week on HARK, we've got two songs with the same title and very different stakes. By request, we cover "Santa Please" by Bill Medley, a tale of alcoholism, regret and reconciliation at Christmas that leaves us troubled. Then, we discuss "Santa Please" by Toni Braxton, which is basically just four minutes of the singer sexily asking to speak to the manager about travel logistics. The manager is Santa Claus.   The ranking music in this episode is "Please Daddy Don't Get Drunk This Christmas" as performed by The Decemberists.   Thank you to Misty for requesting the Bill Medley song!

Sometimes we take requests, and sometimes we take a while to cover those requests. And sometimes, sometimes, someone who's waiting to hear us cover their request sends us back-up requests in case their first requests were not holidays-ish enough. Thus, sometimes -- specifically this time -- Ian uncerimoniously schedules those backup requests for an episode several years later even though one of them is about a incredibly sad real-world tragedy. Soooo, we're talking about "Christmas Eve Blues" by Blind Lemon Jefferson and "1913 Massacre" by Woody Guthrie. The ranking music for this episode is "Solidarity Forever" as performed by The Mountain Goats. Thank you to Myles for these (backup) requests!

Listen. When the universe gives us two songs titled "Feeling Like a Right James Blunt at Christmas" (by Death of Guitar Pop featuring James Buckley) and "Merry Christmas James Blunt" (by Wash Your Dirty Money With My Art featuring Martin Meincke), what are we supposed to do, NOT theme an episode around it? The ranking music in this episode is, I mean, exactly what you'd expect.

It's that time of year again, baby! Blaze it up with us (figuratively) as we discuss two weed-related Christmas songs, "Green Christmas" by Snoop Dogg featuring Jenn Em, and "Merry Christmas Mary Jane" by Katie Pruitt. The ranking music in this episode is "Roll Me Up" by Willie Nelson featuring Jamey Johnson, Kris Kristofferson, and of course, Snoop Dogg.

Easter and Passover are fast approaching, so as is HARK tradition, we listen to two more traditional, religious songs - one for Christmas, and one for Hanukkah. Except this year, we kind of blew it? You could call these songs religious, and they're both of a tradition, but we're going more folk festival than liturgical this year. "I Saw Three Ships" as performed by Sting offers us some whimsy from his weird phase (~1990-Present). Then, marking the second recontextualized Leonard Cohen song on our list (and thankfully, this time for Hanukkah), HAIM delivers a beautiful, haunting rendition of "If It Be Your Will". The ranking music in this episode is "Sad Trombone" by Sting and Shaggy.

By request, we're taking our first look at the Christmas tunes of music legend Neil Diamond! "You Make It Feel Like Christmas" is nothing if not very, very Neil, while his rendition of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" is a dozen other things he was apparently trying out. The ranking music in this episode is (what else) "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond. Thank you to Nearly Nearly Neil for these requests!

Just in time for Pi Day, we're covering two versions of the greatest Christmas song ever written about having some FUCKING PIE!!! The ranking music in this episode is "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree" by Brenda Lee.

By listener request, we've got two covers of cartoon-related Christmas classics! "The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)" as performed by JP Maurice says a polite no-thank-you to skits, while Khruangbin's version of "Christmastime is Here" is a whole vibe. The ranking music in this episode is "Skating" by the Vince Guaraldi Trio. Thank you to Dave and Dan for these requests!

Valentine's Day is approaching, and we're celebrating with two tracks from one of our favorite (bad) holiday romcoms, Christmas in the City (2013). "You're My Christmas" by Juliet Lyons may have been stuck in our heads for years now, but there's still something a little off about it. After revisiting it, "Christmas Love" by Ashanti feels like a breath of fresh air. The ranking music in this episode is "White Wedding" as performed by Juliet Lyons. If you want to hear Jam experience more (bad) holiday romance, check out Book Club For Masochists new episode on February 7th!

New year, new requester! As suggested by a first-time requester, we listen to two songs off of an intriguing album by a new-to-us artist. "Listen the Snow is Falling" makes its third apperance on the show, this time as hauntingly performed by Thea Gilmore. Then we shoot the shit with Gilmore's "That'll Be Christmas", which is, you know, pretty good! The ranking music in this episode is "Christmas Unicorn" by Sufjan Stevens. Thank you to Dusty for these requests!

For our first episode of 2023, we're reflecting on the Christmas songs we heard in the wild during the recent holiday season! First up is the best of Kelly Clarkson's several attempts to craft an heir to the All I Want For Christmas Is You crown, "Underneath the Tree". Then - and you are going to have to trust us on the fact that we heard this song at a major retail chain - "Date With Santa" by Andreas Weise, which doesn't pose a question as much as provide the answer to a question no one was asking. That question being, "What if Michael Buble wrote a song about Santa being a hot lady?" The ranking music in this episode is "Stay a Little Longer Santa" by Shamekia Copeland.

We're finally here, at that year-end vortex of holiday delights, and as always, we've got a new milestone episode to celebrate it! Ian is charged with finding the best song, and submits a mysterious tune that rides on vibes. Jam is in charge of finding the worst and, after whittling away some very terrible runners-up, presents a slurry mix of cynical shock-comedy and manipulative parasocial-relationship-baiting internet celebrity. Content warning: there is a prominent line in the second song about CSA. The ranking music this week is "Maybe This Christmas" by Ron Sexsmith!

Hanukkah is almost here, and to celebrate, we've got two- wait a sec, our producers are saying something. They say that we didn't do enough CanCon this year. Well, shoot, I guess we gotta scrap the songs that we were- what's that? A producer is now telling me the two Hanukkah songs we're listening to this episode ARE Canadian! Phew, that's pretty convenient! "Happy Hanukkah" by Walk Off the Earth featuring Scott Helman and "Chanukah Christmas" by Shelley Posen bring us two different flavors of Canadian Chankuah celebrations in this- sorry, one moment. Uh huh, yup - a producer is letting me know that we also did this bit in the episode, and so doing it in the description doesn't make chronological sense. Well, that's unfotun- huh? What? "Happy Hanukkah" is originally a Matisyahu song but we didn't realize that while recording because Walk Off the Earth doesn't mention that in their video at all? Wow, thanks for the important correction, producers! The ranking music in this episode is "The Journey Starts Today"

It's that thanking-time holiday in the United States, and so we're expressing our gratitude for our long-time listeners - by covering a repeat requester's request! Long-time listener Liam brings us two UK Christmas #1s from the 1980s, the somewhat perplexing "Mistletoe and Wine" by Cliff Richard and the more straightforwardly fun "Merry Christmas Everyone" by Shakin' Stevens. The ranking music in this episode is "Burn the Witch" by Radiohead, for reasons. Thank you to Liam for these requests!

It's that most wonderful time of year again: BIRTHDAY BOI'S CHOICE. Jam is another year older and thus got to choose this episode's songs! As is their right!! First they treat Ian to TLC's delightful version of "Sleigh Ride". Then they throw a curveball with "The Mistletoe Jam (Everybody Kiss Somebody)" by Luther Vandross, a song with a premise so intriguing and baffling that it makes us completely forget that it sounds like he's saying "Missile Toejam". The ranking music in this episode is "No Scrubs" by TLC.

In this spoooOOOky episode, we listen to two Christmas songs by Halloween-y characters! By request, we've got The Cryptkeeper performing... (checks notes)... (sighs)... "Christmas Rap". And then non-puppet Alice Cooper (along with other presumably human men John 5, Billy Sheean, and Vinny Appice) covers "Santa Claws is Coming to Town". Did you see what they did there? No? You didn't? Well, don't worry, Alice has got your back. Thank you to Charles for the request! The intro/outro music in this episode is The Twilight Zone theme. The ranking music is "13 Nights of Halloween" by Elvira.

This epsiode was going to be themed around light, because Diwali is coming up soon? And then it kinda turned into being themed around requests from CJ, a longtime HARK listener. And theeeen it kind of turned into a third thing? We listened to "Donner and Blitzen" by Thor and "Bohemian Chanukah" by Six13, with open hearts and minds. Some corrections: the light source is probably above them. Also we forgot about challah, and yes of course they already made it because they absolutely don't know better. The ranking music in this episode is "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. Thank you to CJ for the requests!