Light Hustler: Making Your Mess Into Your Message

Blogger and screenwriter Ben Mandelker is one of the most quick-witted people out there. He created and then sold the website TVgasm years ago (he still blogs, mostly about TV and food, on his own well-trafficked blog, BSideBlog). But here's the really interesting part about him—and the part that earned him an episode of his own: for 30 years, he was 100% in the closet. As in: we were friends and I had no idea he was gay until he came out to me a few years ago. In this episode, he and AfterParty's Anna David talk about what it was like to live with a secret like that for your entire life—the compartmentalization needed, the shame (and online porn) required to maintain the ruse you're somewhat convinced people suspect isn't true anyway. They get into all that as well as how the recovery movement in a way mimics the gay movement in terms of societal awareness and the attempts many people make toward removing the shame about something you can't control and isn't your fault. They also reminisce a bit about the da

TV personality Georgia Hardstark is one half of the dynamic duo known as Alie and Goergia but she's a fascinating woman all on her own. People came to find out about her after she and Alie Ward made a video of themselves concocting  ajoke cocktail called a McNuggetini and the video went viral; next they were being profiled in The New York Times and starring in the Food Newtwork's Drinks with Alie and Georgia. The Cooking Channel's Classy Ladies with Alie & Georgia and their highly addicitve podcast Slumber Party with Alie and Georgia followed. But it hasn't been all pretty dresses and TV appearances for Hardwick; a troubled teen, she got into meth, was sent to rehab and wised up quickly. She's also struggled with eating disorders, esteem issues and all the other issues that come along, all too often, with just being a woman—er, person—in society today. Here, she and AfterParty's Anna David talk about wild youths, finding stability and what happens when best friends fight, among other topics. [Note: in thi

Comedian Jesse Joyce is a New York-based comedian who's appeared on Comedy Underground with Dave Attell, @Midnight, Last Comic Standing and Red Eye (among many others), has written on numerous Comedy Central roasts and award shows and performed in over 15 countries. He's also sober after booze almost destroyed his health (and got him a DUI). The guy's big on giving back to the sober community, too, performing regularly in Alcohol Awareness programs. While he and AfterParty's Anna David veer off into the nitty gritty of comedy (and whether living in LA or NY is better—Joyce is Manhattan all the way), they also trace Joyce's first drink at 20 to his last one at 26, his family's history of alcoholism and how he manages to be a happy alcoholic, among other topics.

WTF regular and clinical psychologist Dr. Stephen Dansiger has lived many lives while the rest of us were inhabiting only one: once a CBGB regular who played drums for the bands King Missile and Pianosaurus, he ended up getting sober, having a breakdown and finding peace again through a year-long residence at a Zen monastery. The practing Zen Buddhist for the past two decades then got a doctorate and masters in psychology to start running groups at treatment facilities. Now he and Dharma Punx/Against The Stream's Noah Levine have opened an outpatient addiction treatment center BLVD. Here he and AfterParty's Anna David discuss sobriety, rocker rebellion, breakdowns, meditation and much more.

Author, comedian and actress Susanna Brisk is an outrageous Aussie with a penchant for the shocking. Her AfterParty stories have documented her feelings about sex and mental health and her memoir, I'll Be The Death of Me, and blog Malibu Mom provide even more details. Here, she and AfterParty's Anna David discuss if being a dry drunk counts as sobriety, parenting, mental illness and whether or not Brisk can leave the podcast office with a phone number (spoiler alert: she does).

Actress Janie Haddad Tompkins has appeared in more TV shows than could fit in this space—Desperate Housewives, Criminal Minds, Monk, Happy Endings and Modern Family, to name just a few—and just as many comedy sketches and storytelling shows (she's married to the comedic genius Paul F. Tompkins). She's charming as can be and seems to live a charmed life but in fact spent years involved with and engaged to a sociopath who was leading a double life. Here, she and AfterParty's Anna David talk about what makes people suspectible to toxic relationships and what can be learned from them, among other topics.

Professional athlete Lewis Howes and host of the podcast The School of Greatness is also what's known as lifestyle entrepreneur. The short version of the story is this: sidelined by an injury while playing professional football, Howes had no money, nowhere to live and no interest in doing anything but the sport that he could no longer do. So he took to his computer and managed to become a social media maven in just a few years, earning millions in the process and then coaching and inspiring many others to do the same. As it turns out, he was also dealing with having been sexually abused as a child—an event he never shared with anyone until recently. Now he's doing what he does: telling others about it so that they can be released from their own shame and then become, as he would say, great. Here we talk about dreams, passion, finding inspiration and handling adversity, among many other topics.

The legendary comedian and host of the immensely popular WTF podcast needs no introduction but we're giving him one anyway: he's spent a couple decades honing his craft, has appeared on Conan more than 40 times, stars in and writes a TV show based on his life and, whether he likes it or not, does a better job of spreading awareness about addiction and recovery than perhaps anyone else out there. Here, he and AfterParty's Anna David discuss cocaine psychosis, taking meds for mental issues, how success has changed his recovery and much more. 

Storyteller Brian Finkelstein is an Emmy-nominated writer, a regular performer at the Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB) in LA and the host of the LA Moth Storyslams. He's also performed one-man shows all over the world, including a recent tour to New Zealand to do First Day Off in a Long Time, a show based on his years working at a suicide hotline. Here, he and AfterParty's Anna David talk about getting through depression, whether or not saying you wish you'd never been born is depressing, not taking medication and what it would be like if this podcast were the only thing to survive a world-ending earthquake, among other topics.

Writer and comedian Sara Benincasa is a memoirist, a novelist, a performer, a delight and also completely open about her issues with mental health. After having her first panic attacks as a child, the New Jersey-reared lass managed to later overcome agoraphobia and write a book (currently being developed as a TV show) about it. Here, she and AfterPartyChat's Anna David discuss finding the right medication, whether or not regular therapy is necessary and why remaining grateful while staying confident is the perfect balance to strike, among many other topics.

Comedian, actor, writer and podcaster Dave Anthony is the first non-alcoholic guest as AfterPartyPod opens up to welcome not just addicts but also those who have overcome major life obstacles and can speak about the transition. The son of an active alcoholic, Anthony hit a wall of anger before joining Alanon and while still a bit on the angry side (it's part of what makes him so hilarious), is now a happily married father with a hit podcast who also writes and stars on IFC's Maron. Here, he and AfterPartyChat's Anna David talk about dealing with abusive family members, how humor doesn't work in an Alanon setting and why they were both obsessed with the Woody Allen scandal, among many other topics.

Comedian Eddie Pepitone is a national treasure to the part of the nation that knows him. This was the theme of The Bitter Buddha, the critically acclaimed documentary about his life, and is also occasionally a part of his stand-up act. As a comedian and actor, he's been on WTF and Conan repeatedly, as well as on The Last Comic Standing, The Sarah Silverman Program, Happy Endings, Flight of the Concords, 2 Broke Girls, It's Always Sunny and many more. He's also a sober addict and spiritual seeker (see doc title) and though he's billed as bitter (see doc title), he's also seemingly ever delighted and amused. Here, he and AfterPartyChat's Anna David discuss how he rebels against his sobriety, the various shenanigans of the alcoholic brain and everything and more you might want to know about parking in LA, among many other topics.

Hills and Laguna Beach star Jason Wahler played up his reality star bad boy image to the extreme by getting arrested multiple times (in multiple states!) But when he washed up on the Celebrity Rehab shores, it became clear that he wasn't a bad guy, just a sick one suffering from addiction. Not only is he now sober but he also works full-time in recovery at Northbound, a treatment center in Costa Mesa, California. He and AfterPartyChat's Anna David talked about sneaking off to do cocaine alone, getting arrested by a cop on a horse after an MTV Awards after-party and how to get high naturally, among many other topics.

Bestselling author, ultra-endurance athlete, plant-based nutrition advocate and sober father Rich Roll has been hailed as one of the world's fittest men. He also graduated from Stanford and Cornell Law and built up a successful law practice all while drowning in alcohol. Then, after years of sobriety, he realized he was anesthetizing himself with food the way he had with drinking and what started out as a cleanse turned into—well, one of the world's fittest men. Here we talk about familial expectations, being an alcoholic in New York and the spiritual aspects of recovery as well as the tragic death of Philip Seymour Hoffman.

TV and radio host Riki Rachtman may have the tattoos and rocker guy persona of a tough guy but make no mistake—he's a sweetheart. The host of MTV's Headbangers Ball and former owner of the Cathouse club, Rachtman now hosts Racing Rocks on over 120 radio stations and also lives a life free of drugs and alcohol after a multi-year battle with the substances. (No, he wants to assure you, he's actually been absolutely sober for a lot of the "stupid shit" he's done over the past 20 years.) Here, we talk about what got him sober (a drug that starts with m, ends with h and has et in between), how he lives today and everything in between.

Actress and author Kristen Johnston needs no introduction but we're giving her one anyway: the Emmy award-winning star of Third Rock From the Sun who's now starring on TVLand's The Exes (Wednesdays at 10 pm!), Johnston is also the New York Times bestselling author of Guts: The Endless Follies and Tiny Triumphs of a Giant Disaster, which details her struggle with and recovery from addiction. Here we talk about the nitty gritty details of her stomach exploding (that's what taking too many pills will do to you), the part fame played in her addiction and her plan to start up sober high schools in New York.

Mackenzie Phillips had, from the outside, the most glamorous childhood that could be imagined: the daughter of the Mamas and Papas lead singer John Phillips, she starred in American Graffiti and on the hit TV show One Day at a Time as a teenager, while also hitting every club on the Sunset Strip. But her career was stymied by addiction—until 1992, when she went into treatment. After a bout of long-term sobriety, she relapsed and was eventually arrested with heroin in her while on her way to New York for a One Day at a Time reunion on The Rachel Ray Show. The release of her book, High on Arrival—and the revelation in it that she'd had a 10-year consensual sexual relationship with her father—sent the media (and her family) into a tizzy. Now sober again and arguably as enthusiastic about recovery as anyone in the world, Phillips is the Recovery Advocate for the Pasadena Recovery Center and a sought-after speaker on spiritual matters. You'll see why when you listen to this episode.  

Permanent Midnight author Jerry Stahl is, bar none, this generation's king of junkie lit. Dark and hilarious, Permanent Midnight was an insta-classic that was made into a movie with Ben Stiller as the lead and Stahl has followed it with a succession of other nihilistic novels—including his latest, Happy Mutant Baby Pills. He and TheAfterPartyGroup's Anna David have known each other since Stahl blurbed her first book in 2005. Here they discuss heroin, sobriety, swearing, life coaches, meditation, yoga, writing and so much more.

Dead Kennedys drummer D.H. Peligro has been to rehab 31 times. He's also been in the Red Hot Chili Peppers, lived with a whole bunch of crazy addicts in San Francisco and LA, stayed half-awake through an operation when he had a liter of pus extracted from his leg and lived to tell the tale. He and AfterPartyChat's Anna David talk about his newfound sobriety (he was a few days from checking out of a treatment center the day of the interview), his brushes with death, the way his trauma caught up to him and his new book, Dreadknaught: King of Afropunk. 

Musician and actor Michael Des Barres has had many lives: he's been in bands with John Taylor and Steve Jones, performed at Live Aid, co-written hit songs ("Obsession," which Animotion made famous, and which Des Barres admits is about cocaine), had memorable appearances on TV shows from WKRP in Cincinnati through Melrose Place and Nip/Tuck (as well as many in between and since) and is now, at 65, hosting The Michael Des Barres Show for TRadioV. He and AfterPartyChat's Anna David met over a decade ago, before she was sober—when he called the fact that she was doing cocaine "so very 80's." Here they discuss Michael's childhood in an English boarding school, his time doing drugs (with several shout outs to Quaaludes) and the fact that he's been sober since 1981. Also in there: singing! Reminiscing about the date they once had! And more.