Light Hustler: Making Your Mess Into Your Message

Blogger and screenwriter Ben Mandelker is one of the most quick-witted people out there. He created and then sold the website TVgasm years ago (he still blogs, mostly about TV and food, on his own well-trafficked blog, BSideBlog). But here's the really interesting part about him—and the part that earned him an episode of his own: for 30 years, he was 100% in the closet. As in: we were friends and I had no idea he was gay until he came out to me a few years ago. In this episode, he and AfterParty's Anna David talk about what it was like to live with a secret like that for your entire life—the compartmentalization needed, the shame (and online porn) required to maintain the ruse you're somewhat convinced people suspect isn't true anyway. They get into all that as well as how the recovery movement in a way mimics the gay movement in terms of societal awareness and the attempts many people make toward removing the shame about something you can't control and isn't your fault. They also reminisce a bit about the da