Expert Advice From Helpmesara

Hello Sara, I am a mother of two. My son was born a month ago and my daughter is almost 3 and half. She's unravelled and thus so have I.I thought I prepared her but unfortunately for all of us she has a very defiant and jealous streak. I'm not sure who needs the therapy me or her. I feel like I'm failing her as a parent. Her tantrums, defiance, disrespect is making me fall to pieces. I'm shocked and angry. Everyone keeps saying it will pass and she will get used to her new brother but I can't help but think that although the time will pass and she will adjust, something within her is drastically changing and our bond is being affected.I used to watch episodes of The Nanny and think "How could things get so bad?". Well, in the last three weeks suddenly my reality has totally changed to one of those embarassing episodes.Please help.

Hello Sara, I was listening to CBC radio the other day and heard your discussion on divorce. I am recently separated and my ex is very angry, bitter and does not say nice things about me in front of our 10 yr old daughter. I make a conscious effort not to do this about her dad, however he did it even before we separated. My question to you is what would you recommend I do in this situation? Also what book could you recommend? I really enjoyed listening to the radio program although I did not catch it from the beginning. Thank you for your assistance.

Hi Sara, I'm so glad I found your website! I had alot of unanswered questions and your article about children & a new partner gave me comfort. I need some advice on how a 5 year-old can accept someone else in place of their father. Although she isn't attached to her father she might be jealous but then again its not the right time to introduce anything at the moment right?? I just need some brief advice, anything will do :) Thx for your time, appreciate it!

I am a grandmother for the first time and simply adore my little granddaughter who is now 17 months. My problem is that I am very nervous when she sleeps overnight. I have tried it twice - once when she was 6 weeks and once at 5 months - and I get so nervous that I get the runs and cannot sleep at all. I worry that I will be too tired to look after her all night and all day. How can I just relax and be myself with her and not worry so much when I take her all night? I love looking after her during the day or even in the evening while her parents are out (I KNOW they are coming home eventually so I'm okay). ANY suggestions would be so helpful as my daughter-in-law has again asked me to take her overnight or for the whole weekend and I'm in panic mode!!! Lori

Hi Sara, please help me. I'm a mother of 2 children who are 3 and 4 years old and a stay home mom. My 4 year old goes to school from 9am to noon and my 3 year old is at home all day. I want to get a job but I have to consider my husbands work schedule - from 4pm to 2am (or even until 6am if they're really busy). Everytime we fight this becomes the issue, following the money issue. I also have a jealousy problem and my husband did something stupid that he thought it would help me but it just made me crazy. If you could give me advice I would really appreciate it.

Hi Sara, I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over 2 years now. During the past year my five year old son and my boyfriend have been hanging out at least once a week, no sleepovers yet. My son likes my boyfriend but whenever he is around my son misbehaves - he whines, cries and just isn't himself.My boyfriend wants us to move in with him eventually but if their relationship doesn't improve I dont see it happening. How can I get my son to behave appropriately around my boyfriend? I think my son views him as a friend and someone to play with. Your thoughts?

Hi Sara - I would really appreciate some feedback on this topic. My maternity leave has ended, and so I started looking into home care & daycare providers. I myself had a bad experience with a babysitter when I was younger and, as my husband likes to say, I'm an "overprotective" mother.I'm having real trust issues when it comes to leaving my daughter as well as an overwhelming feeling of guilt. It seems like no one is good enough to watch her unless they're a close relative; and even then my cell phone is always in my hands or beside me. I'm tempted to stay at home but money would be extremely tight and I've been considering home care but alot of people say it's really hard work, and I should do it because I want to, not because I have to.Do you have any suggestions as to how to make up my mind and feel confident and happy with my decision in the end?

Hi Sara,We have a great but extremely talkative boy who will be 5 in June. He has a great vocabulary, but doesn't possess any natural shyness. When on elevators, in the store, no other child is safe from him chattering endlessly about his toys, likes or talents. Other kids often just stare, mouth agape, not knowing how or where to begin. He scares away potential friends, which scares me. I want him to be well-liked and know how to relate to others, as he will begin primary school in the Fall. How should I address this issue without squashing his exuberance?

Dear Sara, My son is 19 and is overweight (275 lbs). He was consistently in the honour roll during high school and graduated as an Ontario Scholar.He received a scholarship during his first term at university in September 2009, which was also his first time living away from his family. When his grades were released we found out that he failed his 3 core courses. He told us that he was overwhelmed with his first university experience and had procrastination problems. He had also gained more weight and told us that he was always sleepy. He retook the courses but he again failed those same 3 core courses. He told us that he could not explain what happened, he knew what he needed to do but was just too lazy to do more. He also mentioned high expectations from us and we told him that we only expected him to pass this term. We told him to find a summer job and to find a way to get out of the rut he is in. We know that addressing his weight problem is the priority and are having his health assessed. We are scared to

I have been divorced for 11 yrs from my daughters Dad. We still do a lot of holidays and birthdays together and had another child who is 3 years old.We never remarried and parted 1 year ago. I found someone who is 14 years younger and my daughter wont have anything to do with him. She doesnt know him but tells me that she doesnt feel comfortable around him. They've met 3 times and I have known him for about 2 years. How can I help her get to know him? She tells me if I choose him then I can only see her every other weekend!I don't know where to start with this...

My eight year old daughter is already paying a lot of attention to her private parts, especially with the shower head, she said it is because it tickles.Is this normal for her age?

I have a 4 1/2 yr old son and an 8 yr old daughter. Both are great kids except they cry at the drop of a hat and my husband & I are at the end of our rope! My daughter is getting better as she gets older but my son cries because his pants are too short or because he's not as good at Super Mario Wii as his friend. I try to tell him that it doesn't matter and he will get better with practice but he doesn't believe me and says he'll never be good. If he gets into a fight with his sister and we have to step in they both start to cry. When they get angry they end up crying. When they are frustrated they start to cry.The other day I was going out to the store with my daughter and my son was going to stay home with my husband. When I told my daughter to get ready I looked over and my son was sobbing. I asked him why he was crying and he said "because I'll miss you" and he said he wanted to go with us. I said no, he had to stay home with his dad and they would probably watch TV. He's trying to stop sobbing and wi

Sara, I have no idea where to turn anymore when it comes to potty training. I think we have done it all and our patience with our 3-year-old son has run out. I am expecting my second child any day now and my plan was to have my oldest son trained before the arrival of this baby. My sitter is wonderful and has had great success in the potty department with my son. I believe he has been going for her since he was around two. To make life easier for her I started buying Pull-Ups and he never seems to wet them when he is at her house. So to keep the pattern going I asked her what it is she does at her home. She simply calls him and says "Owen go potty". He drops whatever he is doing and goes all by himself. At home we have tried to do the same but it has failed. We have tried bribes (smarties, stickers, etc...), we have taken him shopping to pick out "big boy underwear" recently but he wore them and dirtied them.It seems that if we let him run around without anything on he will go potty by himselfbut as soon as h

I am a new mum and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy last month but I am already worried about how to bring him up and knowing if he is developing normally, especially with his speech. My question is how do I know that my childs language is normal?

Hi Sara, my name is Jennifer, I might be in a hard situation and was wondering if you can give me some advice. I have a 2 and a half year old son whose biological father left me when I was 2 months pregnant. He has never called to find out how his son is, has never seen him. I have been with my fiance for over 2 years now and we have an 8 month old together. My older son has been calling my fiance his daddy, and thinks he is his dad; my fiance and I would like him to adopt him. My son doesn't know anything about his biological father and I'm scared to tell him about him. My dad ran into my sons biological uncle recently and was told that my sons dad, after almost 3 years apart, wants to see him. I am very upset about the whole thing and am terrified for some stranger to just walk into my sons life like that. Would you know anything about what we need to do in order for my fiance to adopt my son?Please and thank you,Jen

Sara, I love my kids so much more than any regular father. My wife and I were the primary care givers and took good care of the kids since day one but my wife laid false criminal charges against me and has blocked all types of communication between me and my kids. I am going crazy here. We have been separated since September 3rd 2009 and I've only been able to see them twice since then. We have not been able to get a court date earlier than March 10th 2010 and the judge does not like to bring an emergency motion for access before a case conference. Please tell me what to do. I wake up in the middle of the night crying for my kids. My kids are my life and can not live without them. They need me more than anyone else. Please advise me.