Legally Clueless

Kindly take this short survey, your responses help shape future episodes of Difference She Makes and track how these stories are landing:https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/diffshemakes Kenya’s 2010 Constitution is often praised as one of the most progressive in the world, but a constitution alone does not create justice. People do.In this opening episode of Difference She Makes, host Adelle Onyango sits down with Anne Ireri, Executive Director of FIDA Kenya, to explore how women helped shape Kenya’s constitutional journey and the everyday work required to protect those gains.Anne reflects on her full-circle journey from intern to leader, the behind-the-scenes resistance women faced during constitutional reform, and why vigilance is essential to prevent gender equality from being watered down by culture, politics, or complacency.This conversation goes beyond legal theory to ask a deeper question:What does it really take to turn “We the People” into lived reality especially for women and girls? In this episode, we

What happens when shame quietly teaches you to perform instead of be? In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with Kenyan comedian, activist, and writer Justine Wanda for a deeply honest conversation about shame, identity, adoption, grief, and unlearning survival modes. Justine shares how growing up adopted shaped her sense of belonging, why humour became a shield, and how much of her early life, from school to university, was spent performing to avoid being questioned or exposed. She reflects on the slow breaking of that performance, and the relief that came with realising that everyone is carrying their own invisible struggles. This episode explores:How shame can turn your entire life into a performanceUsing humour as protection and survivalIdentity after adoption and lossNavigating grief, belonging, and chosen familyLetting go of who you had to be to surviveLearning to be seen without performingThis is a conversation for women who have ever felt like they had to be funny, fine, or

Setting boundaries is often framed as empowering and it is.But what we don’t talk about enough is what comes after.The quiet.The emotional exhaustion.The loneliness that settles in when you stop over-giving, over-explaining, and abandoning yourself for the comfort of others. In this Mid Week Tease episode, Adelle Onyango explores the rarely discussed emotional aftermath of boundaries, especially for women who have spent years being the strong one, the reliable one, the emotionally available one. This conversation is not about “how to set boundaries.”It’s about what it feels like to live with them.In this episode, we reflect on:Why setting boundaries can feel lonely before it feels freeingThe emotional exhaustion that follows when your nervous system finally slows downHow boundaries expose relationships built on access and emotional labourGrieving connections that couldn’t meet you at your new levelResisting the urge to undo your growth just to avoid discomfortLearning to sit with space long enough for healthi

In Episode 361 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, we share Part 1 of William Genga’s story, a Kenyan man who made the decision to be childfree at a very young age and spent years defending that choice in a society that insists everyone must eventually become a parent. Born and raised in Kericho, William reflects on growing up parentified as the firstborn, constantly caring for younger relatives, and how those early experiences shaped his relationship with responsibility, autonomy, and choice. In this deeply honest episode, William opens up about:Why he decided he never wanted children, as early as primary schoolBeing repeatedly told he was “too young” to know what he wantedNavigating sexual relationships while being firmly childfreePregnancy scares and the emotional weight of reproductive responsibilityThe double standards around family planning for men versus womenDoctors refusing to take his decision seriouslyHow regret, accountability, and bodily autonomy intersectThis episode explores childfree living in Ke

In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with writer, filmmaker, and cultural commentator Abigail Arunga for an expansive, deeply honest conversation about shame, desire, pleasure, and what it truly means to arrive as a liberated woman. Together, they explore how women are socialised to shrink themselves, emotionally, physically, sensually and what it takes to begin unlearning that conditioning. From confronting internalised shame to reclaiming pleasure, body autonomy, and self-trust, this episode invites listeners to reflect on their own relationship with desire and personal freedom. This conversation also weaves in:Why pleasure is often framed as “frivolous” for womenHow religion, culture, and colonial history shape sexual shameThe difference between sexuality, sensuality, and embodimentWhy personal liberation is inseparable from collective freedomLearning to listen to your body without guilt or apologyThis episode is thoughtful, reflective, and empowering, a must-listen for women o

What does it mean to choose a life that doesn’t come with a ready-made script? In this episode of Mid Week Tease, we sit with the quiet, complex reality of being childfree, not as a debate, not as a defence, but as a lived truth.Inspired by Part Two of Hekaya’s story in Episode 360 of Legally Clueless, this conversation explores what it really means to opt out of motherhood in a world that assumes it is every woman’s destiny. We talk about the grief that can coexist with certainty, the identity work that begins when womanhood is no longer anchored to caregiving, and the ways relationships shift when your life doesn’t follow the expected path. This episode is for women who:Are childfree by choice and navigating misunderstanding or pressureAre questioning the assumption that motherhood is inevitableHave grieved imagined futures without regretting their real livesAre redefining legacy, care, and belonging beyond parentingThis is not an episode about convincing anyone. It’s an episode about witnessing and remindi

In Part Two of Hekaya’s story, the conversation deepens into reproductive choice, healing, and what it means to consciously choose a childfree life. Hekaya reflects on getting pregnant while in university, choosing to terminate the pregnancy, and navigating the experience largely in silence. She speaks candidly about relief, guilt, and the shame that followed and how she continued with life before she had the language or space to process what had happened.This episode also explores Hekaya's journey toward identifying as childfree, not as a reaction, not as fear, but as clarity. She unpacks the societal pressure placed on women to justify not wanting children, the erasure of women’s identities within motherhood, and why choosing not to have children can be a deeply intentional and loving decision. Hekaya shares how healing came later through slowing down, therapy, inner work, unlearning religious conditioning, reconnecting with her body, and finding community that allowed her to feel seen and understood.This i

What happens when siblings grow up under the same roof, but carry very different emotional experiences into adulthood? In this Mid Week Tease episode, inspired by Hekaya’s story on the Legally Clueless podcast, we explore the quiet complexity of sibling dynamics, birth order roles, comparison, and emotional safety within families. Many of us were raised believing that shared parents automatically meant shared childhoods. But psychology tells a different story.Drawing from the work of trauma-informed physician Gabor Maté and psychologist Alfred Adler, this episode gently unpacks why siblings can experience the same household in entirely different ways and why naming your truth doesn’t make you disloyal or ungrateful. In this episode, we explore:Why siblings raised in the same home often have different emotional realitiesHow birth order and invisible family roles shape adult identityThe long-term impact of sibling comparison and quiet competitionWhat it means when siblings aren’t emotionally safeHow to honor yo

In this first episode of 2026, we open the year with Part One of Hekaya’s story, a deeply reflective and honest conversation about family, identity, and the long road toward becoming yourself. Hekaya  shares what it was like growing up as the last born in a family where expectations, religion, and control shaped how safe she felt to express who she truly was.She reflects on sibling dynamics, loneliness within family systems, creativity as a lifeline, and the subtle ways shame can be inherited and internalised. This episode lays the emotional foundation for a larger story, one that also touches on Hekaya's experience with terminating a pregnancy, the guilt that followed, and her journey toward healing and self-compassion. That part of her story continues in Part Two, which will be released next week.This is a conversation about understanding yourself beyond the roles you were assigned, and about recognising that even siblings raised in the same home can experience entirely different childhoods. If you’ve ever

In episode 358 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, Victoria shares Part 2 of her story, a powerful journey of leaving an unsafe marriage, rebuilding life as a single mother, navigating fear and displacement, and eventually experiencing deep love and devastating loss. Picking up from childhood trauma and survival patterns explored in Part 1, this episode focuses on healing, agency, community support, and what it means to choose life after years of endurance. In this episode, we explore:Leaving an unsafe marriage with childrenRebuilding life from scratch during COVIDCommunity support and dignity-centered helpNavigating co-parenting and safety fearsFinding love after traumaGrief, loss, and continuing to live fullyVictoria’s story is a reminder that healing is not about perfection, it’s about persistence, courage, and choosing yourself again and again. Listen to Part 2 now.Share your story with us:forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8Join the Legally Clueless Africa community:Newsletter: www.legallycluelessafrica.com/Instagra

As the year comes to a close, there’s often pressure to reflect, reframe, and rush into hope.This final episode of Mid Week Tease offers something different: a pause. In this episode, Adelle invites you into a soft, honest moment of witnessing, not to extract lessons or tidy the year up neatly, but to honor what the year truly held. This is a conversation for anyone who feels emotionally tired, quietly proud of surviving, or unsure how to carry this year forward. In this episode, we explore:When the year didn’t turn out the way you expected and why that doesn’t mean it failedThe invisible things you survived without recognitionRelationships you outgrew or quietly grievedReleasing versions of yourself that could no longer keep upFatigue that comes from carrying too much, not from lazinessThe episode closes with a gentle reflective ritual no homework, no fixing, just presence:Three things you’re laying downOne thing you’re proud of survivingOne truth you’re carrying forwardThis is not a wrap-up.It’s a deep exha

In Episode 357 of the Legally Clueless Podcast, Victoria shares part one of her powerful life story, growing up away from her mother, navigating multiple homes and boarding schools, and learning independence at a very young age.From her childhood in Nyeri, Karatina, and Garissa to her school years and early adulthood, Victoria reflects on how emotional absence, instability, and silence shaped her sense of belonging and connection.In this episode, we explore:• Growing up separated from primary caregivers• Childhood loneliness and emotional neglect• Boarding school experiences at a young age• How early instability shapes adult survival patterns• The quiet ways trauma takes rootShare your story with us: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8Join the Legally Clueless Africa community:Newsletter: www.legallycluelessafrica.com/Instagram: www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafricaYouTube: www.youtube.com/c/LegallyCluelessYoutube

What does it really take to build a sustainable fashion brand in Kenya, without overnight success, investor hype, or a perfect plan? In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with Zia Nyamari, fashion entrepreneur and founder & creative director of Zia Africa, for an honest conversation about building a business from the ground up, fear, faith, intuition and all.Zia takes us back to her very first business idea at 10 years old (selling popcorn on the street), through years of importing clothes in suitcases, quitting employment, navigating family pressure, and eventually opening a flagship store at Village Market. She shares the behind-the-scenes realities of growth, the fear of dead stock, imposter syndrome, and why consistency matters more than speed. This episode is especially for women who are:Thinking about starting a businessGrowing slowly and wondering if they’re “behind”Learning to trust their intuition alongside logicNavigating fear, faith, and self-beliefIn this episode, w

What happens when your growth starts to shift your relationships? In this episode of Mid Week Tease, Adelle Onyango explores the quiet, often painful realization that not everyone in your life knows how to sit with your light.This episode unpacks how dimming yourself can show up subtly, why some relationships struggle when you expand, and how to let go without bitterness, blame, or drama. It’s a reminder that you don’t need to make yourself smaller to belong and that release can be an act of self-respect. In this episode, we explore:Why personal growth can make some people uncomfortableThe subtle ways we dim our joy, confidence, and presenceHow to recognize relationships that require self-erasureLetting go without villainizing people you outgrowGrieving relationships that can’t meet you where you areChoosing yourself without guilt

In this final episode of Gachambi’s three-part story on Legally Clueless, we sit with the quiet, life-altering chapters that come after survival, grief, sobriety, faith, and the ongoing work of becoming. After being admitted to the bar in November 2023, Gachambi reflects on navigating unemployment, rebuilding her legal career at her own pace, and confronting the reality that being without work is often a systemic failure, not a personal one Gachambi 3. But the heart of this episode lies in the personal. She speaks openly about grief, losing her father, realising years later what “life without dad” truly means, and learning that grief does not have a timeline. Instead of trying to heal “correctly,” she chooses to honour her father by living fully and truthfully Gachambi 3.Gachambi also shares her sobriety journey, quitting alcohol in 2022 after years of heavy drinking, alcohol-induced health issues, and emotional numbing. She reflects on the clarity, discipline, and emotional presence sobriety brought into her

In this fearless and deeply educational episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle sits down with Dr. Kristina Sule, one of only two cosmetic gynecologists in Kenya, for a groundbreaking conversation on vaginal health, vulva education, harmful practices, and what intimate wellness truly means for women at every age.Together, they unpack topics we were never taught, including:The difference between the vulva and the vaginaHow millions of nerves make the clitoris one of the most sensitive organs in the bodyWhy the vagina is a self-cleansing organWhat’s actually “normal” when it comes to vulva appearanceHarmful Practices & Dangerous Myths Dr. Sule breaks down the real risks behind:Vaginal steaming“Vajacials”Yoni pearls, oils, sweets & insertsDIY lightening creams… and how some contain substances potent enough to cause vaginal cancer.Safe Alternatives & The Science of Cosmetic Gynecology We explore medically sound options for:TightnessLubricationDryness after childbirth or menopauseAesthetic concernsInti

As the year comes to a close, the pressure to reinvent ourselves starts to rise. “New year, new me” culture tells us we must transform, overhaul our habits, set 20 resolutions, and show up in January as a completely new woman. But what if you don’t have to? In this Mid Week Tease episode, Adelle Onyango offers a soothing, truth-filled conversation about stepping into the new year gently, without burnout, shame, or the pressure to rebuild yourself from scratch. We explore:Why January reinvention culture creates unnecessary pressureHow the self-improvement industry profits from women feeling “not enough”What gentler, more realistic growth models look likeWhy healing and change don’t follow calendar timelinesHow to honour the version of you that carried you through this yearSoft, sustainable shifts you can embrace instead of drastic reinventionsThis episode is for anyone feeling exhausted, uncertain, reflective, or overwhelmed by “new year expectations.” You deserve a beginning that feels kind, not punishing. Li

In this episode of Legally Clueless, Adelle shares Part 2 of Gachambi’s powerful and deeply honest story, a testimony of resilience through toxic workplaces, repeated exam failures, sexual harassment in the legal world, and the long, winding road toward becoming an advocate of the High Court of Kenya. After passing only four out of nine bar exams, Gachambi faced disappointment, self-doubt, and the pressure to keep going when giving up felt easier.She takes us through the emotional weight of resitting exams over two years, the inner dialogue of remembering “the smart girl she once was,” and the moment she finally passed her final papers in 2023. But her academic journey was only part of the story.In this episode she also opens up about:• Surviving toxic legal workplaces that drained her mentally and physically• Sexual harassment from seniors in the profession — and the silence surrounding it• Being fired just weeks before her admission to the bar• Navigating unemployment, anxiety, and the pressure to “have it

Journalist and writer Kui Mwai joins Adelle for an unfiltered, deeply relatable conversation on adult friendships: why they end, how they evolve, and what it means to outgrow people you still love.In this episode, they unpack:✨ Why Kui revisited four former friendships for her viral Vogue article✨ What really happens during friendship fallouts, guilt, anxiety, disappointment✨ Why adult friendship feels so different from school-era connection✨ The loneliness and emotional risk of solitude✨ Navigating boundaries in a culture that isn’t always taught them✨ The pain of friendships that “fizzle” with no explanation✨ How to rebuild connection without losing yourself✨ Why friendship seasons are normal and nothing is wrong with youKui also opens up about her writing journey, her upcoming novel, and what solitude taught her about inner strength. If you’ve ever questioned your friendships or felt guilty for choosing yourself, this episode will feel like a warm exhale.LINKSNewsletter signup: www.legallycluelessafrica.co

This week on the Mid Week Tease, Adelle opens up a gentle, grounding conversation for anyone who feels emotionally out of sync with a season that demands joy. If you're navigating burnout, numbness, sadness, or simply feel “flat” during the holidays, this episode offers validation, psychology-backed insights, and practical tools to help you honour your emotional truth.We explore why joy sometimes feels far away, from allostatic load and emotional blunting to comparison culture and end-year fatigue and how to give yourself permission to feel exactly how you feel. Adelle also shares personal reflections and science-supported exercises to help you reconnect with yourself in soft, realistic ways. Whether you're overwhelmed, exhausted, or just not in a festive mood, this episode reminds you that you’re not broken, not behind, and not alone. Your humanity is welcome here.In This Episode You’ll Learn:Why some people feel numb, low, or disconnected during the festive seasonHow burnout and emotional overload affect yo