Nerd Poker

Hey, what's a little psychic memory altering amongst chill adventurers? There's definitely something super chill in the mind-flayer coffin. Have a looksee! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

This chitinous alien key and this chitinous door in the quietest corner of the murder dungeon will certainly lead to a room full of lollipops and moonbeams, there can be no doubt. Yep. Let's definitely open the door without really thinking or talking about it and then stride right in there. Like you do. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Hey hey hey, let's head to that sweet lil' loot room in the south west... wait, WHAT is in all the hallways?! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

What do we do when an NPC is silent? We light em up! Ok ok ok, he's in a death dungeon being creepy, but still we're just gonna light him up before we see his face or anything that could tell us who they are (boring!). For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

The Ding Dong Danglers eye their loot, and encounter a very sheepish and non-threatening door, which of course makes the door creepy and terrifying. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Deep in the Undercity, the Ding Dong Danglers (official name) creep closer and closer to sick loot and lich murder. And yes, Nerd Poker, where even the traps are passive-aggressive! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.  

The Ding Dong Danglers emerge from their rest ready for GOODIES in the northwest of the Undercity of Dellsmouth. But they must face... DOORS. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

To the northwest, either an undead thief wizard, a worm god, or trayzure. To the southwest... same. Will the Ding Dong Danglers survive this encounter with a pile of fleshy whoopie-cushions? For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Trayzure ahoy! Now, a short rest before we head into the hallway, where Dan DEFINITELY doesn't have sloppy wet body horror stomping around. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Well, most of the fish army we brought with us is cooked now, but hey, there's a whole room of possible trayzure on the other side of that wall!  For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.  

While the murlocs- ahem- kuo'toa continue to drop, the Ding Dong Danglers begin to recall that they are not just detectives and thieves- their abilities allow them to do a ridiculous amount of damage. Enjoy the festive carnage! Apologies for the late release, it was a struggle to align schedules between TV shows and flights. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

The swamp monsters are munching and crunching on our fish army! Oh boogers. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Now that the slime has come to life and started to strangle our little fish army, it has become apparent that "shortcut" still means "battalion of monsters standing in front of the weak destructible wall." For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Now that we've gone Full Metal on the disintegration statue, let's bust out that magic-shortcut map case and bullet line it to the end of this map. Screw caution, as-the-crow-flies convenience wins every time!  For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Now that we're in the Undercity, it's time for the heist... and maybe destruction of evil. As the corridor looms, Roll20 also implodes. But we have a lovely lich's tomb to explore, and what is definitely a super chill statue in a super chill tiny corridor to just strut past. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.  

Well, we're about to bid the fog of the Fog Campaign farewell (for now?) as we gather supplies for the mud hole plunge. With a well-armed militia of fish folk, we head into the pitch-black depths of the Dellsmouth Undercity. Where there is definitely not going to be a TPK like there just was in our Patreon bonus campaign (whoopsie doodle). For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Now that we're settled into our new lives as thief kings, maybe we should look into what that means. One big heist is left, and it might be useful to understand if we already won the campaign, you know? Nah. Into the mudhole we go! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Now that we've burned a bunch of people alive no questions asked, let's loot their corpses! Wait... hey how come their corpses are gripping their loot, we burned it off of them fair and square! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker. For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.

Nothing like the smell of a smoldering barracks! Those pesky elves and humans were even creepier than the kua toa (probably) so we finally locked them in a building and burned them to a crips. Hooray for zero consequences! Just a good old fashioned Nerd Poker "set it all on fire" episode. For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.  

Time to square things away with Phillip the Plank. Except... um.... we kind of deliberately burned down what he wanted. Time for some last minute improvising regarding whether we want the fish mob boss as an ally or not! For 3 bonus episodes a month and more, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com/nerdpoker . For merch, social media, and more be sure to head to nerdpokerpod.com.