He Just Loves The Hallmark Channel

Les, Jason, and Kurt go off the rails right out of the gate when Les and Kurt are blindsided by the new show open that Jason made. (Working on that “Kurt Fitzpatrick, Gay Icon” merch, stat!). Plus, the guys imagine a world where Blac Chyna dates Fiddler on the Roof Star Topol (obviously). Then, they dig into Hallmark’s 2019 movie Winter Castle, a movie that wants us to be happy for people so awful that they’ve scheduled a an expensive and unnecessarily last-minute destination wedding in a very cold and very remote area.  In fact, everyone in this movie is terrible from the guy who’s stringing his not-girlfriend along, to the family trying to end this guy’s non-relationship, to the lead pursuing this guy, to his not-really-a-girlfriend literally sneezing in someone’s face. Really, the only redeeming person in the movie is a side character that may have bought a very specifically intimate gift at Tiffany which is definitely nicer than the snow before the maple syrup hit it.  Facebook : alifetimeofhallmark Insta

Les, Kurt, and Jason are joined by their always super-special guest, the super fantastic Meredith Thomas from LMN’s The Wrong Life Coach starring Lifetime royalty including Vivica A. Fox, Tracey Nelson, and Eric Roberts (but not Jackée Harry, because A.I. got it wrong). Plus, Kurt has some provocative Blac Chyna news: Tokyo Toni may be trying to get with Blac Chyna’s exes! Then, it’s time to dig into Lifetime’s first Wrong movie in a long time about a profession that can lead people astray, especially when the profession doesn’t require any credentials. Meredith didn’t just play one of the life coaches in the movie, she was also the movie’s Second A.D. and cast some of the roles! There may not be any black hoodies here, but everyone is coming in hot! Plus, there’s a passive aggressive marriage proposal and a Lifetime movie detective that actually does their job, and Power Ranger not a Power Bottom!    Facebook : alifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Theme song generously donated by purple-

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back for an amazing 2024 ahead after missing what would have been their final recording of last year (since Les was in France with poor internet)! But now they’re back and have opinions about Jo Kay hosting the Golden Globes (just like everyone else). Then Kurt has Blac Chyna news about her joining the Itty Bitty Bitty Committee (her words). Then, the guys are ready to dig into Dying for Fame, a Lifetime Movie Network thriller for which Les got invited into the inner circle bye going to a screening with the directors/producers/cast/crew (thanks to our friend and listener Samantha!). Important note from Les: even the “creepy” people from the movie were hot in person (noted!). Justice for creepers! Despite this movie not having any black hoodies, it did feature a diverse cast, a radio station that doesn’t really exist, and tips for hiring a stalker on LinkedIn. Plus Jason makes a joke that falls as flat as Jo Koy’s Golden Globes monologue!   Facebook : alifetimeofhallmark Instagram : li

Les, Kurt, and Jason convene from 3 different parts of the world this week as Les is in a hotel lobby in London, Kurt is on the East coast in the US, and Jason is on the West Coast, and they’re ready to conjure up some opinions on the movie Genie. But first, Kurt has some Blac Chyna news that has the guys pining for the days of wilder and crazier Blac Chyna stories! Then, it’s time to rub the box instead of a bottle because all the genie rules you think you knew are thrown out the window… including the ones laid out in this movie. A really likable and funny cast (Melissa McCarthy! Paapa Essiedu! Alan Cumming! Luis Guzman! Marc Maron!) can’t make this movie make sense, no matter how many wishes this genie grants. But at least we get a genie choosing a new outfit makeover montage, a truly insane subplot about accidentally stealing the Mona Lisa, and a scene that may have been written in hopes of at one point getting Eddie Murphy to sign onto them movie.  Facebook : alifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhall

Les, Kurt, and Jason are ready to dissect a Lifetime movie that SHOULD hit the sweet spot, Lifetime's Ladies of the 80's a Divas Christmas starring Morgan Fairchild, Nicolette Sheridan, Donna Mills, Loni Anderson, Linda Gray, and Christopher Adkins. But first, we get the Blac Chyna news that she and Tyga are now getting along and sharing joint custody of their son. Kumbaya. Then, the guys test whether or not THEY are as powerful as a Siskel and Ebert review that once got Alen Zweibel's son bullied as they dig into this week's movie. Even stacked with so many 80's icons, this movie's many lapses in simple logic make it a rough watch that needed more actual tension between the characters that's not even saved by using (potentially) scalding hot gravy in a food fight and winning an Emmy by showing one's gray hair.  Facebook : alifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

Les, Kurt, and Jason are doing something they haven’t done for months: watched a Hallmark movie for their podcast about Hallmark movies (and Lifetime movies, and now so much more). It’s especially fitting to dive back into that world with a movie starring Hallmark royalty (pun intended) Lacey Chabert as she reunites with her Party of Five big brother Scott Wolf. But first, Kurt and Jason wonder if Les himself is secretly a royal, Jason sent Kurt a filthy underwear ad to underscore last episode’s very descriptive conversation about what makes one… um… powerful. Then, Kurt reports on Blac Chyna’s beef with Brian Austin Green, sufferer of vertigo, and Les gets to casually and unironically use the phrase “my in-laws’ yurt.” Then, it’s time to talk about Hallmark’s A Very Scottish Christmas. Producer and star Lacey Chabert was adamant (as were we) that she and Scott Wolf were NOT to be romantic interests in this movie. Instead, we get siblings who are blindsided by the fact that their mother has been lying to them

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back with one more piece of pop culture WTF before diving back into Lifetime and Hallmark movies because the SAG-AFTRA strike is finally over! One person not in love with the new contract is Justine Batemen… and that sends the guys down a rabbit hole about other Family Ties cast members. It also ties into this week’s featured selection because of a Billy Very and the Beaters connection. But before that, the guys reminisce about Matthew Perry, Jason and Les teach Kurt the difference between a bossy bottom and a power bottom, and Blac Chyna’s daughter’s party was thrown by Khloe Kardashian! Then the guys start dissecting a show that could have stood for a LOT more dissecting before it made it to air, 1987’s Roomies. Starring a post-Rocky Burt Young and a pre-Lost Boys Corey Ham, Roomies features a premise so insanely problematic, that the worst thing about the show isn’t even the singing trio that all seem to be on the same bowel movement schedule. Put on your Vagina University hoodie,

Les, Kurt, and Jason support the SAG-AFTRA strike, but they are comin’ in hot regarding the guidance about not dressing as a character from movies and TV shows. But Jason has found a loophole: he’s dressing as Ken THE DOLL who is also a fan of Oppenheimer THE HISTORICAL FIGURE. Then, Blac Chyna is accused of Witchcraft! And the guys circle back to their episode about The Tortellis and get an update on Kurt’s quest to get the (formerly) little boy on the podcast. (Update, we’re SOL… emphasis on the S). Then it’s time to dive into the 80’s masterpiece that is nonetheless problematic AF, Moonlighting. The show revived Cybil Shepard’s career, jumpstarted Bruce Willis’, and cast someone that Les spotted on his very first night living in LA!  If you’re looking for a show that starts with a similar premise to Schitt’s Creek, features an EVIL Bob Newhart lookalike, and that has a cameo from someone whose MAGA credentials the guys questioned openly, then you’ve found the right show in Moonlighting!   Facebook : alifet

Les, Kurt, and Jason ditched their plans to watch Moonlighting this week to pay their respects to the late, great Suzanne Somers. But first, we get the latest on a current America’s Sweet Blac Chyna and her custody battle with Tyga. Then the guys talk about their love of Apple TV+ show The Morning Show, and find out about how Billy Crudup was the object of affection for a woman Kurt was on a date with… while they were on the date. Take note, if you’re looking to date someone, write them a handwritten letter! Then, the guys take a look at a very Chrissy-centric episode of Three’s Company, Chrissy and the Guru. Ripping straight from the headlines of the rampant cults of the late 70’s, Three’s Company serves up a guru named Rama Mageesh. His charms aren’t enough to get Jack (John Ritter), Janet (Joyce DeWitt), or the Ropers (Norman Fell and Audra Lindley) to part with her money (though Helen would be happy to part with her mumu for some fun with Stanley, the guru IS able to lure Chrissy. Or maybe she was lured b

Les, Kurt, and Jason were gonna watch Moonlighting this week, but time constraints mean that will have to wait until the next episode (along with Les’ lady detective fantasies). Instead, this week the guys dive into the Cheers spinoff that isn’t Frasier (nor is it the Frasier re-boot on Paramount+), 1987’s The Tortellis. But first, we find out about Kurt taking his mom to her midday mid-week high school reunion, mediocre chicken marsala and age shaming included! Plus, if you’re going to be a doll, at least be one that people are afraid of! And, Blac Chyna is now doing appearances at Chiropractic offices in Orange County with her crispy bones!  Then it’s time to dive into The Tortellis, a Cheers spinoff that was launched in the very same season Cheers had to introduce Kirstie Alley after the departure of Shelly Long. The Tortellis was either a painfully unfunny spinoff, or one so painfully unfunny that the producers used it to keep the network off their back when it came to the mothership show.  Not even a chi

Les, Kurt, and Jason apologize if feel compelled to watch this week's pick, the 1977 Dr. Seuss special “Halloween is Grinch Night.” But first, Les’ husband wants to know if he’s allowed to eat the Beyond Chicken McNuggets (he can!), and Kurt is familiarizing himself with current popular music (like Dojo Cat and SZA). Plus, in Blac Chyna news, Kurt reports that Blac Chyna is selling a bunch of her clothes on consignment. Then, it’s time to dig into this prequel to How the Grinch Stole Christmas. But while the Christmas special had a cohesive and heartwarming story at the center of it, this Halloween special has bland colors and exactly ZERO mentions of Halloween. Did the makers of this special do a substantial amount of hallucinogenic drugs AND cocaine? Was Max the Dog suffering from Stockholm Syndrome or is he a spy? Is this entire special an ill-formed metaphor for racism/the Cold War/ child abuse? Possibly (allegedly)!    Facebook : alifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Theme song genero

Les, Kurt, and Jason are happy that the WGA Strike has ended, but are still venturing beyond Lifetime and Hallmark movies since SAG-AFTRA is still on strike! The guys discuss the big topics on their mind like couples that share a Facebook account and whether or not Jeffrey Dahmer is cancelled. Not cancelled: famous morning radio DJ Roman Polanski). Also not cancelled: Blac Chyna… she may have found love again! Then it’s time to take a look at the pilot to the 1986 first-run syndicated sitcom What a Country. While this may seem like it was a Yakov Smirnoff vehicle, it’s actually an adaptation of a British sitcom. One can only wonder if the British version featured countless painful racial stereotypes (many courtesy to a super racist school principal not played by Don Knotts). But the bigger thing you’ll be wondering is “Just how glamorous is it to coach a high school soccer team?” Side note to those that will be in the Philadelphia area: Kurt has more performances of his show Behind Every Great Mariska Hargita

Les, Kurt, and Jason were so energized by Don Johnson’s Heartbeat in the previous episode (the promotional movie moreso than his actual pulse), so they’re tackling some more music videos this week. But first, THE Pepper MaShay came to see Les’s show, as did Lesley Ann Warren and Lifetime of Hallmark SUPERFAN Samantha (thanks for listening). Then Kurt shares what may be newly specific news about Blac Chyna as it relates to sobriety. Fun fact: Les is kinda dickmatized by Dick van Dyke (a conversation started after a June Squibb spotting). Then it’s time to get into 3 different defining (?) music videos of the 80’s, starting with Journey’s “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart).” The Sherrie of Steve Perry’s “Oh Sherry” almost killed this video, but she doesn’t have to because it dies on its own (though without a soundtrack since the instruments keep disappearing). Then, the guys took a look at Slade’s “Run Runaway” video, complete with a kilt-wearing dude swinging a giant phallic telephone pole all around a well lit cas

Les, Kurt, and Jason have gathered to experience one helluva an experiment in the 1980’s music industry: making Miami Vice’s Don Johnson into a rock star! But first, Jason saw Les’ show The Real Black Swann: Confessions of America’s First Black Drag Queen and is ecstatic to report that it is FANTASTIC! Get tix here: https://ci.ovationtix.com/36684/production/1173212 Then, the guys try to figure out why is everyone defending Martin Short (Jason has a conspiracy theory about it related to the SAG AFTRA and WGA strikes). Then, we find that Kurt went to a gay bay with Les not dragging him there (at least not directly). Then, Kurt tells us that TokioToni is upset the Beehive! Then it’s finally time to talk about the EPIC(?) multi-video multi-story Don Johnson mini-movie that is Heartbeat. Was a music exec so d**kmatized by Don Johnson’s very MTV-ready presence that he didn’t he didn’t think it would matter that Don can’t sing? Probably! But thanks to that probably very coked-up executive (maybe, allegedly), we get

Les, Kurt, and Jason have reconvened to ask the important questions like, “Does Les get craft service during his tech rehearsals?” And “Did Wilford Brimley pull some serious tail back in the day?” Plus, Kurt reports that Blac Chyna wants Tyga to stick to their custody schedule! Then, the guys tackle their first animated show for the podcast, 1981’s “Laverne and Shirley” (aka known as Laverne and Shirley in the Army to not confuse it with the live action counterpart). While this Laverne and Shirley doesn’t have Lenny or Squiggy or Carmine Ragusa, it does have a pig voiced by Horshack from Welcome Back Kotter and giant space birds. Jason thinks the show may have been borne out of the last actor’s strike while Les thinks this is the horniest cartoon he’s ever seen. Take a look at the rocket that all of the characters are quite confident they can fly and judge for yourself!   Facebook : alifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com

Les, Kurt, and Jason have decided to stop promoting Hallmark and Lifetime movies when there’s a strike, and instead focus on pop culture’s unusual past, and this week it comes in the form of a 1988  pilot starring Morris Day! But first, Jason strongly objects to Les’ “funny idea” that someone be murdered at/near one of his parties. Plus, Kurt’s Blac Chyna news lets us all know that tattoo removal hurts, and we learn the Celebrity net Worth of Robin Givens and Pauly Shore! Then, it’s talk to talk about Heart and Soul starring Morris Day, Tisha Campbell, and James Avery, but NOT Will Smith. But at least there’s Barry Sobel and his very popular act (yet wildly offensive). What COULD have been a great fish out of water story instead turns out to be the leading to a movie about Ted Bundy not starring Redd Foxx.    Facebook : alifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com

Les, Kurt, and Jason have referenced the 1983 NBC sitcom Jennifer Slept Here many times on this podcast, so they’ve decided to finally dissect the pilot episode along with a look into the state of of TV in the early 1980’s. But first, Jason is trying really hard to get Les and Kurt to take the hint that it’s time to move onto the Black Chyna Report! Then, it’s time to start the Ann Jillian deep dive, talking It’s a Living, the SAG-AFTRA strike then and now, and Walt Disney’s input into Ann’s career. Then it’s time for Jennifer Slept Here. Ann Jillian may have top billing on this short-lived series, but the real heavy lifting of the show is done by (*checks notes*) the kid that played Randy Quaid’s son in National Lampoon’s Vacation, John Navin. John may be the person that uttered the very first line of dialogue on Cheers, but here’s he’s doomed from wearing a fedora multiple times. Maybe Jennifer should have slept somewhere else (like with the Family Ties Keaton family, or within Wilfred Scott’s weather repor

Les, Kurt, and Jason will not be deterred by the SAG-AFTRA Strike (and WGA Strike), mostly because this podcast isn’t in violation of union rules. Les has been spotting all kinds of famous faces on the picket lines (including presidential candidate Marianne Williamson), but the most famous face on the picket lines may now be Les Kurkendaal-Barrett himself thanks to a ton of worldwide coverage an image of him has experienced. Khloe Kardashian considers herself a third parent to Blac Chyna’s daughter Dream Kardashian, but it’s all from a place of love… much like Kurt’s love for Vanessa Lengies, the star of this week’s Hallmark Movie Take Me Back for Christmas. This is Hallmark’s version of a multiverse movie, so of course the guys discussed cinnamon poppers.    Facebook : alifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com

Les, Kurt, and Jason are here with the discussion you didn’t know you needed about the Tom Cruise cake and the Olivia Wilde Salad Dressing in a tale so layered, it makes this week’s movie seem quaint in comparison. But first, in Blac Chyna News, Kurt delivers the news that Tokyo Toni is saying some incredibly (hilariously) filthy things involving buckets in front of her granddaughter when she can’t figure out how to get Alexa to stop talking. Then, the guys jump down into the silo known as Lifetime’s movie, My Professor’s Guide to Murder. Stephen Hawking isn’t in this movie, but if he were, he too would need buckets (and a lot of them!). Kurt almost needed a new pair of Converse sneakers, Jason needs a fabulous traveling professor house, and Les needs to find someone else to drag to Musical Mondays.    Facebook : alifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com

Les, Kurt, and Jason return after a very very long break and so so so many Gay Prides! Yes, prides have parades, and Les sat through part of a really long one before being coerced into marching IN one, but Jason will only watch the parades if they’re done at the posted speed limit (flying drag queen wigs be damned)! Then, Kurt has some Blac Chyna news (that may or may not be from before our long break). Then, the guys take a dip in Hallmark’s Big Sky River which is, apparently, a movie they all watched. Despite the over-priced gas in this small town, it still has what it takes to attract residents like (not) Reba McIntyre, and a woman going through an (oft-mentioned) “terrible divorce.” This movie has an extended scene involving grabbing a chicken. It also has a friend hint that one of the characters should have a fling. Get your air horn, cuz this ain’t your mom’s Hallmark.    Facebook : alifetimeofhallmark Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com