Radio Free Tote Bag

In this edition of Radio Free Tote Bag we drop a clip from Mr. Oizo's Let The Children Techno, because Arthur can't resist. We ponder the inevitability of weight gain, engage with the teens, bang out as many as we can, tease apart some hidden feelings, get two bobs in, and almost say slurs TWICE. God damn it, we're bastards! Change your shitty, misogynist t-shirt!

This one? Right here? This one is for AMERICA. We get itchy, just in time for a hot date. We set some boundaries re: boning outside the relationship and also re: Bolivian marching powder. We meet some new friends in public restrooms and ponder whether lonely boys should stay lonely. Being calm is nice, but if you're too cool we're never gonna know you're into us. OH and we hit that question box. We hit it so goddamn hard.

Golly gee we sure hate hiatuses. Donovan went to Europe and Arthur messed up his old man back but we're back and we're never leaving ever again. We talk about Irish people, expired relationships, creepily worded pre-relationship questions, boat dog duty, unwanted grandma hugs, the ceaseless march of death and decrepitude, some ridiculous-ass analogies from /r/sex, sex fart anxiety, uncouth houseguests, and a Dick! On! Strike! DickOnStrike. Support us on Patreon and help us keep the lights on! https://www.patreon.com/radiofreetotebag

Dang these teens are out here with the clinical language! Where's the poetry of youth with these young folks? Dono went to 'Roo. Arthur went to a young person's birthday party. They both lost their nicotine machines. Congestion smudges the recording but we soldier on. Smile! Don't make a face! You look like a California Idiot! Step up the plate and swing the relationship bat!

Whether you're down at the fishin' hole, the bowling alley, or you're out on the lynx, watch out for bad dads. Give 'em your hashtag Snapchat if you want to keep in touch. Just make sure you don't spill the beans on your friends with benefit if your bro is now dating her. Dono buys booze for 'Roo. Arthur struggles with density. Death Grips has a skeeting disorder.

Dono is so congested but he cares about you beautiful people so much so he tries to beat it. We talk Arthur's questionable Tinder hookup, fancy ass scotch and other liquor, a bad situation with a friend from Donovan's past, boiled frogs, SOs with too many questions, guilting someone into staying in a relationship, crappy objectifying dudes, depression outreach on campus and surrogate parenthood with a friend. Arthur ninja-catches a beer before it can spill. P.S. I'm at the airport super early rn to fly to DC for an interview and I want to sleep, I hope your day is going better.

Ira Glass stops by to share a glampse into a dark future, we cross the pond, preserve the idea of Harvey Dent and hit the horns on 'em. Donovan is very polite to the text. Arthur asks the hard questions.

This week we have our first product review and we try to remove some of the stigma from male sex toys. Also there is mention of cats and psychiatric medication and, once again, the need for communication!

Oh GOD what a downer. Arthur sorted questions by controversial this time which just results in nothing but break up downer questions. His air horn hand is now broken and we may never be able to air horn again. Air horn. Anyways we smash the hell out of these questions, hear some hell stories from retail, talk 30-nostril mutants, discuss men's weird hatred of condom, shrimping, how Tinder for "meeting friends" while in a relationship is bullshit, long distance relationships, young shitty love, and a super abusive dickhead boyfriend.

Arth-uh-Adele sings the intro and wow is it beautiful. We talk about Mr Plow, excessive PDA and a lot more but it's 2:45am while I'm writing this and ya boy needs rest so you'll have to listen to find out!

Arthur can legally drive now! We talk retail, LA traffic, my old car, dirty roommates and filthy SOs, our emoji histories, secret revenge porn, and we share the sweet sounds of our stomach gasses with you, the listener. As they say, you can never get enough Radio Free Tote Bag!

I forget what my name is in the first sixty seconds of the show and Arthur is a monster and leaves it in. We talk Easter, a great idea for a Christian Star Wars, cringey moments from the preteen years, argumentative boyfriends, inappropriate coworkers, shitty music and good food from Cincinnati, and more Reddit questions. My audio fucks up so many times but Arthur saves the day. As always, thank you for listening you are all wonderful.

Clogged toilets, hoarder families and smiley faces with three mouths. We read and respond to this week's anonymous question box questions. I have garbage level energy at the beginning but am returnted to form by some quality role play with Arthur. Arthur is on point as usual.

We take user submitted questions from our anonymous question box and we answer the absolute hell out of them. We also hit a couple Reddit Qs as is tradition. Submit your own question anonymously at http://freesuggestionbox.com/pub/ohiwqnz

We crush a role play of a girlfriend who loves to cook but isn't very good at it and her boyfriend who needs to break the news as nicely as possible. Realistic tears ensue. We also discuss wasp-filled boxes. AND we have new outro music by friends of the show The Heyfellows! Check em out at theheyfellows.com, instagram.com/theheyfellows, Spotify and everywhere else good music resides!

We drink beer and talk about being way too drunk in college and then answer some dang Qs. Our audio sounds real good.

I get a pop filter, talk into the mic, and stop squeaking my dang chair. Arthur sounds lovely as usual. Our flow is p good on this one.

We finally got it together and made a podcast. My audio is a bit off and my chair is squeaky but Arthur sounds crispier than a cool October morning.