Everything Happens With Kate Bowler

Every grocery store speaker is now officially blasting “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.” And let’s be honest: sometimes it feels like a demand. The happiest Christmas music can feel like salt in the wound when life is heavy. If this season is not “merry and bright” for you, you’re not alone. That’s why many churches will hold “Blue Christmas” services next week. It’s an American tradition that says out loud what so many feel quietly: the holidays can hurt. These services dim the lights, play gentler music, light blue candles, and make space for grief. They remind us that the story of Christmas itself is no stranger to darkness—Jesus was born into a world of oppression and fear. Joy didn’t arrive because the world was perfect; it arrived anyway. I thought perhaps now, only halfway through the Advent season, it might be a good time to take a peek at the customs and traditions and plans that you’ve got on the calendar a

Life is painful. Period. But are there some aspects of our faith or our posture toward the world that can change how we experience it?  Father Richard Rohr is everyone’s favorite preacher of love. Love for each other. Love from God.  In this conversation, Kate and Richard talk about: How great love and great suffering can move us into a new stage of life  The spirituality of subtraction Making room for mystery of joy and suffering His secret to staying present to God Together, might we all learn when to hold on and when to let go. Subscribe to Kate’s Substack for blessings, essays, and reflections that hold what’s hard and beautiful. Join us for Advent over there, too! This episode originally aired November 2021.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We’ve all seen the Christmas pageants where Mary is very sweet and demure and she is wearing a tablecloth pulled from the church dining hall. Sometimes it’s hard to remember how much impossible courage Mary had from the beginning. She finds out that she is pregnant in a completely scandalous way. But what does this divinely-prepared, teenage girl do when an angel crashes into her life with an announcement guaranteed to upend all her best plans? She sings. But not a sweet lullaby. Mary belts out a protest song: “He has brought down the mighty from their thronesand lifted up the humble.He has filled the hungry with good things,and sent the rich away empty” (Luke 1:52–53). This is not the peace of spa music and chamomile tea. It’s the kind of peace that rearranges the furniture of the universe. That scatters the arrogant and topples the unjust. God’s peace doesn’t politely avoid conflict; it writes the soundtrack for a revolution. And somehow, Mary holds all of thi

The pandemic introduced many to living with uncertainty. But for some, uncertainty has always been their norm. Actress Nikki Deloach has starred in several Hallmark Christmas movies, but her life hasn’t matched the happily-ever-after plot-lines of her characters. Nikki’s dad was diagnosed with an aggressive form of dementia and her son was diagnosed with congenital heart defects in utero… all in the same week. In this conversation, Kate and Nikki discuss how to live with constant uncertainty, how to stay open to both the terror and the beauty of living close to the edge, and how to make Christmas meaningful when hope is hard to come by.  Subscribe to Kate’s Substack for blessings, essays, and reflections that hold what’s hard and beautiful. Join us for Advent over there, too! This episode originally aired December 2020. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Well, here we are. December has arrived (shudder). And with it, the great cultural sprint: decorations, office parties, and the annual anxiety dream about whether you will accidentally forget someone on your gift list (spoiler: you will). Some of you already finished your shopping over Thanksgiving and have a freezer full of perfectly labeled Christmas cookies. (Who are you?! Come to my house and fix my life!) The rest of us are still trying to remember where we put last year’s wrapping paper. It’s easy, this time of year, to let December carry us away. The shopping carts, the streaming playlists, the endless events. Advent, though, asks us to live by a different rhythm. The early church saw this season as one of watching and waiting—not just for Christmas morning, but for the whole story of God’s redemption. They began the year not by rushing, but by slowing down. The prophet Isaiah describes this posture well: “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust

In this conversation, Kate and Anna discuss: How conversations might engender the intimacy we need to get by Fostering the right interpersonal and listening skills it takes to approach a difficult topic (especially when you’re feeling nervous) Best practices for responding to someone’s hard news How learning to listen might bridge differences of all kinds What do we lose when we don’t talk about hard things? And what might we gain if we do? Subscribe to Kate’s Substack for blessings, essays, and reflections that hold what’s hard and beautiful. Join us for Advent over on Substack! This episode originally aired April 2022.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when childhood teaches you more about survival than safety? Poet and author Nikki Grimes joins Kate to talk about growing up with profound instability—and still choosing to see beauty, feel joy, and offer forgiveness. In this moving conversation, they explore memory, trauma, faith, and the small pockets of belonging that shape a life. SHOW NOTES: Books by Nikki Grimes: Ordinary Hazards – A memoir in verse chronicling Nikki’s traumatic childhood; Glory in the Margins – A collection of Sunday poems exploring faith and resilience; A Cup of Quiet – A children’s book about the sweet bond between a grandmother and granddaughter; The Road to Paris – A semi-autobiographical novel inspired by Nikki’s experience in foster care. Poems read in this episode: Holy Architecture – from Glory in the Margins, Habitation – from Glory in the Margins Support guides: When You’ve Been Hurt as a Child, When Your Family is Complicated Subscribe to Ka

Today, we’re sharing a conversation from the More Happier podcast between Kate, Gretchen Rubin, Priya Parker, and Francis Lam.  It’s easy to get swept up in a cycle of holidays that feels more like a relentless to-do list than a source of joy. In this Celebration Roundtable, we talk about how to embrace the holidays as opportunities for intentional connection and meaning.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tim Shriver—educator, author, and longtime Chairman of Special Olympics—joins Kate for a tender, funny, deeply practical conversation about dignity: what changes when we decide everyone matters, how relationships (not information) do the real work, and why service is more than “being nice.” Together they trace a family story from Rosemary Kennedy to Eunice Kennedy Shriver to millions of athletes, swap hospital-and-gymnasium epiphanies, and offer a simple lens for disagreeing better. It’s an invitation to the “really real,” where joy and sorrow live together and love makes people—and communities—more fully alive. SHOW NOTES: Special Olympics — The global movement founded by Eunice Kennedy Shriver and now led by Tim. Dignity Index — A practical tool for scoring how we speak across difference, helping us learn to disagree without contempt. Unite — A bridge-building initiative founded by Tim Shriver to foster common ground and shared dignity

What happens when you live on a planet where grief rewrites the language of everyday life? Kate Bowler speaks with writer and New York Times editor Sarah Wildman about her daughter Orli’s incandescent life and staggering courage while living with terminal cancer. Together they explore the limits of positivity culture, the fierce tenderness of caregiving, the sacred discomfort of truth-telling, and the love that carries us when nothing adds up. This is a conversation for anyone who has lived inside the ache—and chosen joy anyway. Show Notes: Sarah Wildman’s award-winning writing at The New York Times Leonard Cohen’s “Who By Fire” Jewish practices of grief (shiva) and care (bikur cholim) Blessing for Life After Loss Support Guides: Parenting a Medically-Complicated Child, When Your Child is in Pain, When You’ve Been Diagnosed Orli, in all her joy: @orli_halpern on TikTok For those of us who live on a different planet now: Small Talk Survivor Tee | Mug Ka

It’s tempting to be a very serious person in a very serious world. But what if staying soft was the most loving thing we could do? In this vulnerable and playful conversation, Kate sits down with Sophie Grégoire Trudeau—mental health advocate, speaker, and writer—to talk about childhood wiring, the masks we wear, and how we begin the lifelong work of coming home to ourselves. If you’re navigating heartbreak, trying to live in your body again, or just craving a little lightness without losing depth—this one's for you. SHOW NOTES: Gabor Maté – on trauma, addiction, and the pain beneath our coping mechanisms “Innocence is one’s ability to be found by the world.” – A reflection on David Whyte’s invitation to stay open Maslow, Indigenous wisdom, and the reminder that community is what makes us feel safe Support Guides: When Your Child is in Pain, When You've Been Hurt as a Child, Those Who Give and Need Support Come hang out in o

Loving people is a gift—and a liability. The more we love, the more there is to lose. In this hilariously honest and deeply tender conversation, Kate talks with beloved writer Catherine Newman about the strange pairing of love and fear. Together, they explore how parenting, grief, humor, and hospice care shape us into people who laugh while crying and keep showing up anyway. If you’ve ever whispered “I love you” and immediately wanted to bubble-wrap your whole family, this one is for you. Show notes: Catherine Newman’s Work: Wreck (Novel), We All Want Impossible Things (Novel), Waiting for Birdy (Memoir), Catastrophic Happiness (Memoir), Crone Sandwich (Substack) A Blessing for When Love Makes Us Afraid (as read on the episode) Come hang out in our new favorite corner of the internet: Kate's Substack. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When someone you love is in pain—but can’t say the words out loud—what can you do? Kate speaks with beloved Canadian novelist Miriam Toews (All My Puny Sorrows, Women Talking, A Truce That Is Not Peace) about the silences that shape us: the kind that settle into families, into churches, into whole communities where mental illness is unnamed and suffering goes unspoken. Together, they talk about the long shadow of religious shame, the courage it takes to tell the truth, and what it means to stay present with people we can’t fix. This conversation is tender, fierce, and unflinchingly honest. This episode includes discussion of suicide at the beginning and end of the episode. If you're struggling, you can call or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. SHOW NOTES: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Call or text 988 if you or someone you love is struggling. You are not alone. A Truce That Is Not Peace by Miriam Toews — her newest memoir and the heart of this convers

How do we stay hopeful in the face of despair and disillusionment—especially when politics threaten to tear us in two? Kate speaks with Parker Palmer, a writer, teacher, and activist. As you’ll hear, he has gone through seasons of deep clinical depression, and has hard-won wisdom to share with us on how to survive, how to regain a sense of agency, how to remain hopeful despite it all.  In this episode, Kate and Parker discuss: finding agency in the midst of depression and despair (including his trick of redefining achievement) why it is important to recalibrate our sense of reality—especially in the face of 24-hour news cycles and social media algorithms how a broken heart can either shatter or break open into a larger, more compassionate way of being So on a day like today when we all might be thinking about the state of our nation or the state of our world or the realities at stake for our families and friends (....or perhaps, more tempted to keep our head in the sand to just

Joy won't cure you, but it will carry you. After surviving a stage-four cancer diagnosis, Kate Bowler knew she was supposed to be grateful. Alive. Blessed. But she still ached—for more connection, more surprise, less resentment on an ordinary day. So she went looking for joy. Not the toxic positivity kind. Not a 5-step plan. But the type that sneaks in unexpectedly, seemingly out of nowhere. A lemur sunbathing. A belly laugh at a funeral. A dive into the Atlantic with a shark wrangler. In Joyful, Anyway, Bowler takes us on a hilarious and tender journey through big questions and small delights. With wry wit and deep honesty, she explores how joy can surprise us even in the middle of pain, boredom, and longing. This is not a book about fixing your life. It is about how we can all find more—feel more—by making room for small extraordinary moments. For anyone who has ever felt stuck, who is achy for meaning, who feels undone by loss, who feels that joy is just out of reach, who wants, simp

Everywhere you turn, there’s something to worry about. And sometimes that buzzing hum of anxiety is trying to tell us something important—about our body, our heart, our world. In this episode, holistic psychiatrist Dr. Ellen Vora joins Kate to talk about the difference between false anxiety (the kind sparked by sleepless nights or too much caffeine) and true anxiety (the kind that whispers: something isn’t right here). Together, they explore practical ways to tend to our overtaxed nervous systems and how to live with more steadiness and grace in a world that never lets up. Show Notes: The Anatomy of Anxiety: Understanding and Overcoming the Body’s Fear Response by Ellen Vora, MD Join Kate on Substack for essays, blessings, and cultural commentary. Shake it out – Ellen recommends a 90-second shake (yes, really!) as one way to complete the stress cycle. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when love isn’t enough to hold up a broken system? Ai-jen Poo—award-winning organizer and executive director of the National Domestic Workers Alliance—joins Kate Bowler to talk about caregiving in America. Who provides it. Who’s left out. And why we need a system that treats care as the sacred, shared labor that it is. Together they explore: Why more than 100 million Americans are caregiving right now What it costs to support a loved one—and why the math doesn’t add up The long shadow of slavery in how we treat domestic workers today Why dignity and agency are essential in every stage of life What it would look like to build a policy solution that works for everyone If you’re carrying the care of someone else—or fearing the moment when you will—this conversation is for you. Show Notes Caring Across Generations – A movement co-led by Ai-jen Poo to transform the way we care in America. National Domestic Workers Alliance – Advoc

What happens when the life you were supposed to have… disappears? Jen Hatmaker joins Kate Bowler for a conversation about faith, divorce, and the slow art of healing. After the collapse of her marriage and being pushed out of the evangelical world, Jen had to figure out how to live again—how to co-parent, pay bills, go to therapy, and mother herself after decades of being the “pastor’s wife.” They talk about: What it means to lose a marriage, a career, and a community—at once The weight of being a “good” evangelical woman Codependency, caretaking, and letting your kids have their pain The deep joy of discovering you can rebuild from scratch This is for the people who are learning how to live when the story changes. A conversation about grief, grace, and not doing it alone. Show Notes: Awake by Jen Hatmaker – her latest book on rebuilding a life after loss Support Guides — for divorce, caregiving, and rebuilding from the Everything Happe

There are no training manuals for this. Just a child staring up at you with cartoon eyes and an inner monologue that asks: Am I doing this right? Am I ruining them? Kate sits down with Dr. Becky Kennedy—a clinical psychologist and creator of Good Inside—to talk about the heartbreak and hope of parenting. What does it mean to raise (or re-raise) someone with compassion and boundaries, especially when you never learned how? Whether you're parenting toddlers, teens, or the little one inside yourself, this conversation offers grace for anyone trying again. Show Notes: Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy — parenting platform, book, and podcast A Blessing for When You're Not the Parent You Meant to Be  katebowler.substack.com — essays, blessings, and community reflections Support Guide: When Your Child is in Pain — for parents supporting kids through emotional struggle Support Guide: Those Who Care for Teens — compassionate care for older children See omnystu

When someone you love is in pain—whether they’re sick, addicted, or falling apart—you show up. Again and again and again. You make the calls. You hold the line. You carry what you can. But what happens when love, loyalty, and devotion blur into something harder to name? When care turns into codependency, and compassion starts to erase your sense of self? Kate sits down with best-selling author Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love; Big Magic) to talk about the toll and the tenderness of caregiving. Liz’s new memoir, All the Way to the River, chronicles her years caring for someone she loved deeply through addiction and illness—and what it meant to finally let go. Together, they explore: What it means to walk someone you love to the edge of life How codependence disguises itself as devotion The permission we need to be more than someone’s lifeline This conversation is for anyone who has ever loved to the point of exhaustion. Who wonders if love is meant to cost this muc