Fostering Voices Podcast

This episode features our precious eldest child, Lily, who is almost 12, and has been a foster sibling since she was 7! Some of her favorite things to do are: playing Gaga Ball (What is Gaga Ball??), hanging out with her cousins, and running with her dad. Basically, she is an angel sent from heaven, especially since Jihae hates to run. In this episode, we also talked about: Electives. We completely forgot that word, and it never came to us during the episode. But it's 'electives' (Lily called them blocks), and the ones that kids have to choose from are so much cooler than when we were in Jr. High School. Going to the library! Especially during Spring Break! If you live in our area (Chandler, AZ), you should check out the Spring Break reading challenge they are doing where you can earn free In N Out!!!! Google what your public library is doing! Having a Gardener's, vs a Consumer's, mentality for your relationships. (Taken from ONE, a Marriage Devotional by Jimmy Evans). What this means is that

This week's episode is a book review of 'The Boy Crisis: Why our boys are struggling and what we can do about it' by Warren Farrell, PhD, and John Gray, PhD. This book was LONG and really informative. Definitely worth the time to go through. And it was written in 2018, so it is fresh and relevant, and hopefully in the next few years, we can make it irrelevant! General Synopsis: We are presently living in a society where we are often on one side of the pendulum. Back in the day, the pendulum certainly swung to the side of 'women/girls have no rights'. That was obviously not a good place to find ourselves. But now the pendulum has swung very hard in the opposite direction where women and girls are being heavily encouraged in every area of life (family, business, beyond) - and obviously this is NOT a bad thing at all, but it comes at the price of boys being left with a purpose void. It doesn't have to be this way, but it is. But we can change that! Can we all agree that we have the capacity to encourage b

We just jumped over a massive hurdle in our fostering journey, and it took a lot of prayer, a lot of patience, and a lot of communicating. And you know this is a big deal for us, especially as we are both pleasers! (Check out episode 26) So how do you resolve conflicts with your spouse? It is important to deal with your conflicts with your spouse, no matter how hard they are. Pretending they don't exist only makes them worse. Or even pretending there is peace, when there clearly isn't, doesn't magically make peace appear. Check out this episode to see how we overcame months of being on different pages about whether we should adopt our current foster child. Good Word of the Day: "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.3 Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and t

This week's episode is full of goodness! We are so thankful to have our sweet friend, Grace Sharp, on the podcast with us. She is a new foster mom (3 months in!) but previously worked as a Group Home Manager.  For those who don't know what a Group Home is, it is a house (in a regular old neighborhood like yours and ours), where they usually have about 10 foster kids living in this home. Some people also call this Congregate Care.  We agree with Grace that Group Homes are better than nothing, but foster parents would be a far superior alternative. In a foster home (even one that has 10 kids in it) - the main difference is the stability and the consistency of 1 or 2 primary caregivers. As opposed to hired hands, who often quit because the toll this job can take on a person. In this episode, we learned that: PSMAPP classes, which are now 6 weeks long, instead of 11. This involves a 3 hours class once a week, with 4 hours of online classes through the week. This sounds so good! There is a great book called: 'The

This is the 'Thirst Buster' episode (44oz of sugary carbonated goodness!) Something that is as good as a thirst buster in our home is Cate! She has been living with us for 4 months, and things are just getting better and better. This is because we all have an attitude of trying to out-serve one another. I feed Cate, and she cleans and helps with the kids. It's a perfect symbiotic relationship! The best symbiotic relationships are like this this, and they require people to be vulnerable, humble, and not self-centered. We have admittedly struggled with this in the past (especially as brand new foster parents). But we are pleased to admit that we are growing and acting like buttholes less and less! Progress! So, are you a part of great relationships? Or do you often feel like you are waiting for people who 'owe you' something? Whether it's lunch, watching your kids, or telling you how amazing you are? (Seriously. Check your heart!) The (Good) Word of the Day: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. 

Tax season is officially upon us, and so we decided to have the best tax preparer in all the land join us for an interview. We are thankful that Wes Watson (who happens to be Chris' dad) was able to make time for us, so he could share everything related to taxes for foster and adoptive families. In this episode we talked about: The Keymaster from Ghost Busters. This is what happens when Chris has someone else to talk about obscure movies with. We also talked about how if you have had a child in your care for more than 6 months, you are able to claim them as a dependent on your tax return.  It can be VERY annoying trying to get your foster child's Social Security Number, so start asking your case worker NOW so that you have it before April 15th! If a child was born after June, and wasn't officially in your home for more than 6 months, BUT was in your care for most of their life, you still get to claim that infant. There are changes to many tax laws. The new federal standard deduction for a couple is $24k. HOWE

This episode is all about heart change and the times we have seen God move and change hearts. We've experienced lots of examples of God changing hearts in Jihae's parents. Starting with being ok with Jihae and Chris getting married, to being excited to have adopted and foster grandchildren. This is not always something that is easy for everyone, but lots of prayer and patience helps! Often times we tell ourselves that we cannot do something - from being able to birth a baby without an epidural, to not being able to love a kid who isn't biologically our kid. But when we say we can't do something - then we are right. We can't. But the opposite is true too - when we say we can - then we can!   The Good Word of the Day: "Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life." Proverbs 4:23 Other versions say to "Guard your heart", and too many times we guard our hearts too defensively. Sure we don't want to let bad things into our hearts, but we also don't let good things into our hearts

We are back from a 6 week break, and ready to dive into Season 3! We hope that everyone had a delightful Christmas break, and start to 2019. We ended off the year with 2 kids in diapers, and we are starting off the year with 1 kid in diapers, and 1 kid who pees and poos in his undies on occassion... small victories/failures. This episode starts off with us talking about how our 2018 goals went. Then we break into some goals we have for this coming year.  If you have a goal to be healthier this year, and need a coach, we know some REALLY great ones! Kevin and Bekah Tinter are some of our dearest friends, and they happen to be amazing health coaches. You can connect with Bekah on Facebook, or Kevin, or email them (kevin@tinterhealth.com, bekah@tinterhealth.com ) to get more information. We support the work that they do, and they support the work that we do, which is why they are hosting a GIVEAWAY!!! Check out our social media for more details! A new thing you will hear on the podcast this year is our 'Time of

Episode 39 is for you, Greg Ostertag, because you wore 39 on the Utah Jazz, and because when we first got our current foster baby, he looked like you. And then he evolved to look like Winston Churchill. Anyway, this week is a continuation of last week's interview with Christie Priem. If you have NOT listened to episode 38 yet, please go and do that, and then come back to this one! We are finishing up keys 4,5, and 6 to detecting developmental delays in children. Key #4: Appropriate Sensory Processing  -Many children have different sensory needs that often go unrecognized, and we can help meet those needs to help kids be calmer, and more focused so that they can be ready to learn. -The sensory system has 8 recognized parts:  Visual Olfactory (smell) Auditory (hearing) Gustatory (tasting) Tactile (touch) Proprioception (input to joints, ligaments, tendons) Vestibular (sense of where body is in space) Time (sense of time passing) Interoception (sense of what's going on IN the body) -Sensory seekers are kids who

Episode 38 is dedicated to you - Curt Schilling, of the World Series winning Diamondbacks, with your bloody sock and all. This week's episode features an interview with Christie Priem, an incredible Speech Language Pathologist (SLP). She is also the founder, owner, and genius mind, and loving heart behind Chirp : an online resource to make churches welcoming for those with special needs. Christie has used this verse to guide her in the heart of her ministry: "What is the price of five sparrows - two copper coins? Yet God does not forget a single one of them. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows." (Luke 12:6-7 NLT) . She is caring for the fragile, and often over-looked community of special needs kids, because they are of great worth to Jesus!  In this interview: Our interview with Christie, she shares 5 Developmental Keys (plus a bonus one!) to help parents, and anyone who works with children, to recognize developmenta

Episode 37 is dedicated to Rodney Harrison of the New England Patriots (Reggie knew that off the top of his head), and Metta World Peace, aka Ron Artest.  Random fact:  'Metta' means loving kindness and friendliness towards all, and is a traditional Buddhist word. He chose this name 'to inspire and bring youth together all around the world." So special. Important facts about Reggie and DCS: - Reggie actually entered the world and entered the DCS (then CPS) system. He lived with his mom until he was 7, and then he was able to be raised by his older sister and her husband. Reggie is the 8th of 10 kids. - CPS means Child Protective Services, and DCS is Department of Child Safety - Having worked at DCS since 2010, Reggie has done every kind of job there: investigations, high profile cases, mentoring, supervision, and now he is a data technician as well as office notary. He loves this new position because he gets to support case managers and supervisors Some Promising Foster Care Stats in Arizona: - in May 2017, t

Shaquille O'Neal wore number 36 when he was a newbie basketball player on the Orlando Magic. We love Shaq, especially when he was a Phoenix Suns for a brief moment in time. He wore 32 then, and he promised he would bring a championship to Phoenix. We are still waiting... This week we talk briefly about three tips for people who are thinking of embarking on their foster care journey, or have just commenced. Knowledge is Power. Whether that's knowing the reunification rates in your state, or knowing other foster families, or knowing as much as you can about what you are getting yourself into. Knowledge is truly going to be a good friend throughout your foster care journey. Compassion for your Spouse. Whether you are the driving force of the desire to be involved in foster care, or you are the one who is at home with the kids for most of the day, this is a very necessary step in being success. This isn't the End. Sometimes people are reluctant to start the journey of foster care, because they think that means it

This is the Kevin Durant episode. Not because he was adopted or in foster care. Just because he is awesome and wears the number 35. And we love him. This week we interview the lovely Rhonda Labatt of Redemption Market, a stunning ethical boutique that literally changes people's lives. Maybe not so much the customer's, but definitely the artisans behind the products. Rhonda has a huge heart for serving and loving the least of these, which is what led her to adopt her youngest daughter from Peru. Listen to this week's episode to find out more! Some points that Rhonda mentioned: - An Open Door Adoption Agency , this is the agency that Rhonda went through - $25,000 for this international adoption (7 years ago), but thanks to so much provision and generosity from others, they spent about $5,000 out of pocket. - This adoption from Peru took 2 years, with a 5 week stint in Peru for the whole family, as a requirement for the adoption. - Her devotion to Savina's birth mom, to the pastor who helped at the orphanage, to

This week is Charles Barkley week. Since apparently we are just going to reference our favorite basketball player every week. Though seriously, we talk about "How to Raise and Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success" by Julie Lythcott- Haims. She has a great TedTalk that you can listen to here, or you can purchase the book here. It is a wonderful book that really has given us a lot to think about as we are raising all these kids, and what the negative repercussions of overparenting look like. For example, she talked to the creator of this viral video: We are Millenials. We Suck, and we're sorry. And it's hilarious, and it's the face of what goes wrong when you overparent and raise entitled kids.  So, how should you parent your kids to be adults? Read this book. Listen to this podcast. Talk to your friends. Make some changes. Although, we said something in this episode which can easily be misconstrued, so let me clear the air here: When talking about what we want for our fo

Episode 33 is another great one, featuring an interview with the delightful and smart Maggie Zehring.  But before we dive into the goodness of that interview, Chris and I got stuck in the intro about the number 33, and what it has meant to Chris in his life. We referenced Larry Bird, who was in fact from French Lick, Indiana, as Chris mentioned. But he was actually born in West Baden Springs, Indiana. Patrick Ewing had some very colorful shoes when I was in High School (which was 20 years ago), and shockingly still sells them! This is brand new information! You can buy some here if you are interested. But if you want to be true to the fashion of 1990s, your jeans better be gigantic, and the same color as the shoes. Now, onto the interview! The basics about our guest today: Maggie is married to a great guy named Nick. Together they have 2 bio baby boys, and a foster son smack dab in the middle of the boys. The kids are all 8 months apart. And the eldest isn't even 3 yet. And Maggie is pregnant. And adorable. Y

We went to Rocky Point, Mexico for Fall Break (something that happens here in Arizona. We get 2 weeks off in October, and it's the best!) We opted not to travel with our 5 month old, because - it's the beach. Not the best place for a fair skinned sand eater. So, we left him with two friends of ours - neither of whom are licensed foster parents. Although one of them is in the process. But this goes to show that you can leave your foster babies with people that you deem to be safe, and good care providers. Traveling without your foster child: If you don't have people who can watch your foster kids while you travel, you can tell your licensing worker, and they will find a respite provider (someone who is licensed to provide respite, usually another foster family) for you. The main difference here is that a licensed respite provider will get paid HANDSOMELY for watching your kid - about $1 an hour. Which is about $24 a day. Don't do this for the money people!  So, the main thing that you need to leave with your r

This week's episode is not for little kids' ears! But it is one for husbands, wives, moms, dads, and teenagers. And is definitely a discussion topic for you and your pre-teens. It's a good reminder to also mention that this is not a topic solely for those in the foster/adoptive community. There are many children that come from hard places that have had egregious sins committed against them, but in the realm of pornography and masturbation - this is a topic that affects everyone. Even if you don't believe me. One scary and true thing that was said in this episode is that your children may not be looking for porn - but porn is looking for them! This is a multi billion dollar industry that wants to find new addicts.  We have Robert Watson as our special guest this week. He is a pastor at Sun Valley Community Church, and he delivered an awesome sermon on this topic last year. You can find it here, but he shares all the main points on the podcast today. This is not just a typical sermon. This is a science lesson a

This week's episode is a short one! We read somewhere that most people like to tune un for 20-30 minutes. So, we are giving it a shot! This can't be our norm, since we interview people, and we want to hear as much of their stories as possible. But when we can, we will try to keep the episodes between just Chris and I, less than 45 minutes? Ok? No promises though. We are Chatty Cathys. So the heart of this episode is to have a focus on how you want your kids to turn out. We have a motto for our Small Group, which is "Raising kids who aren't A-holes". And it's funny, and it's true. But after talking with our wise friends, the Worcesters, they told us we need to focus on what we DO want our kids to be, not on what we DON'T want our kids to be.  What we don't want our kids to be is too broad and too vague. But when we have a specific goal for our kids, it is easier to direct them in that manner. The Worcesters also mentioned that some of the most successful people are Kind, Compassionate, and Forgiving. So that's

This week we have an amazing interview with Tia Thompson, an incredible woman, who has an incredible story. Or stories. There are so very many stories. But this week we are just focusing on a few of hers. But, before we jump into the interview, in the intro, we give one life hack, and that is to pursue your passions with all of your heart! Chris read "Crushing It" by Gary Vaynerchuck, and so he was feeling particularly motivational this week!  In the rest of the podcast, we talked about: - Adjusting and adapting! We adjust from being single to married, then again when we have one kid, and then when we have more kids. Tia is the queen of adjusting and adapting. - Part of her story is that her husband has advanced ALS, is homebound, and communicates via fancy computer that he operates with his eyes! He is incredible! And so is Tia. And so are their girls. They don't complain about anything, because this is their one and only glorious life. We could all learn so much from their example! - Tia adopted her three g

This week's episode deals with Life Hacks for your home, so that every person in your home can experience just a little more peace. Cause we all need more peace, right? Especially when you have 7 people living in that house.  So, Life Hack 1: Chores and Money. We recently read a blog article by our friend, Grant Botma, about what he does with his kids. He's a financial expert, so we knew it was going to be good. You can read it here. He discusses how he does not give his kids an allowance, or pay them for chores that are expected of them: "These are cleaning messes you make, doing your laundry, your dishes, and other household chores that are part of being a household member. When my kids are eventually on their own, they won’t get paid to do their own dishes or laundry. As a result, these are tasks they need to do without financial incentive." You just have to read the whole article. Or watch this video. It's so good. We are also trying to teach our kids about taking initiative, budgeting their money, and be