Minion Death Cult

In a supersized episode this week, we cover the dissolution of the Iran deal and the celebratory fervor it unleashed in the Death Cult but, more importantly, we talk about the viral idea of "diaper-change consent" between parents and toddlers, and how it's setting the world ablaze. Subscribe to Patreon.com/miniondeathcult for a premium episode every Thursday including all past episodes

For every episode of Minion Death Cult, visit Patreon.com/miniondeathcult & get a private feed of weekly premium episodes in your podcast app. This week the Cult covers the plethora of bad takes around the music video for Childish Gambino's "This Is America," including such gems as: "Black people care about police shootings but dont care when their friend kills 5 people over an argument." and "How come this music video has to be from a black person's perspective?" also: We cover the single most animating incident on the right wing this week: John McCain denying Donald Trump an invite to his own funeral. It's basically 300 comments of Deplorables telling John McCain, decorated POW, to burn in hell.

Subscribe at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult to get a premium episode every Thursday as well as access to all past premium eps. This week the Cult documents the wall-to-wall outrage over the Boy Scouts' decision to allow girls to join their ranks. We get mind-boggling takes, including a LOT of people who can't stop focusing on children's genitalia. Also: Rudy Giuliani's legendary appearance on Hannity last week, and how the Q-Anon community is taking the news.  

Subscribe at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult to get a premium episode every week This week we cover the rich vein of terrible responses to the Cosby conviction, which range from: "This is cool, but I'm pissed that #metoo gets credit" to "Why weren't these women prosecuted for taking the drugs Cosby gave them?" We also cover the NRA's incredible revelation that guns are dangerous and that their conference with Trump will in fact be a gun-free zone. There are also, surprisingly, some bad takes here. 

It's our Kanye / Stryper episode unlocked!  Kanye endorses Candace Owens after watching her yell at black people to get over slavery and Stryper organizes their righteous army of christian metalheads against the satanists at Walmart, who refuses to sell their new album in stores 

This week the Cult documents awful takes about the Toronto Incel Terrorist from both incels and normies, and we cover the knock-down brawl between comedian Michelle Wolf and Sarah Huckabee Sanders at the White House Correspondents Dinner, including a totally viral clapback from a totally fake Huckabee Sanders Facebook page.

Subscribe at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult for a premium episode every week. If you enjoy the show, support us by rating and reviewing the show in your apple podcasts app. This week The Cult takes on the Waffle House shooting and explains how the young man who disarmed the shooter is simultaneously "one of the good ones" and also a cuck who let the shooter get away. Also: we take the high road and choose not to dedicate and entire segment to the alt right / fascists / nationalists who severely owned us in the comments section of our sponsored facebook post.

Subscribe to patreon.com/miniondeathcult for a premium episode every Monday and access to all past premium episodes.   This week we tackle Kanye's recent endorsement of African American Conservative Spokeswoman Candice Owens, and Walmart is refusing to sell the new Stryper album in stores, probably because of discrimination.  

Subscribe at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult for a premium episode in your podcast player every Monday   This week The Cult solves the Syrian civil war: "Missile strikes are not a war. It's a police action." "Libertarians are isolationist children who would rather chop off their dicks instead of f*ck the Syrian people." "Assad is a monster the likes of which we haven't seen since Abraham Lincoln." AND The Cult takes on the black thugs who were probably going to rob Starbucks and therefore had to be arrested: "Cops were just doing their jobs by arresting innocent black men." (tru) "The black guys planned this in order to cause racism." "You cant just chill at Starbucks. Relaxation is theft."

Subscribe at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult to get every weekly, premium episode This week the Cult takes on the anti-sex worker bill FOSTA-SESTA that was recently signed into law, and how its (possibly) unintended consequences actually pose more dangers to sex workers. Also, we cover Margaret Atwood's piping hot take on Star Wars & 9/11, and the angry nerd reaction it inspired. 

It's a bonus MDC! Here's the Facebook testimony portion of the episode we couldn't contain. "Facebook needs to protect BLM because I, as a US senator will not." "Diamond & Silk are sexy, conservative "sistas" whose facebook account MUST be promoted on the floor of congress." "How come Facebook knows everything I post?" [6 paragraphs of terrible PR advice left for Zuccerberg in the comments section of a Daily Caller facebook post] "I'm so terrible even Amber Alert blocked me."

This week the Cult takes on the FBI's raid against Michael Cohen, Trump's longtime lawyer and bribe-doer. We find a wide range of interesting responses, including: "Lets get all our lawyers together and fire Mueller." "If Mueller were after Mother Teresa, even Mother Teresa would be in trouble." "Let's start a revolution in support of President Trump." Look for a bonus episode on Facebook congressional testimony coming out tomorrow!

Subscribe at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult for a premium episode every Monday & access to all past premium episodes. - This week the Cult takes on the caravan of asylum-seekers and the YouTube shooter Nasim Aghdam: - “Logic is a forbidden tool of the patriarchy" - “Who guards the National Guard?" - "I want to help fight migrants but I can't do anything physical or lift anything." - And "YouTube deserved to be shot because they stole my free speech."

This week the cult takes on Sinclair Broadcast Group and the cringeful, scripted segment they forced dozens of their local news affiliates to read on-air. We cover varying deranged reactions to the viral supercut, including: No, democracy is actually bad Corporate media is socialist Scripted news segments are like Starbucks: good Also, we cover Easter at the White House, and a youtube comment section absolutely DYING of thirst for Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Premium episodes every week at patreon.com/miniondeathcult

Subscribe at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult to hear every weekly premium episode  Roseanne returns to television pretending to be a woke, blue-collar Trump voter, while her sister Jackie is a hysterical, emotional Hillary supporter. It's as fun as it sounds. Also: Laura Ingraham gets put on vacation by high schooler David Hogg, and the internet is pretty upset about it.

This week The Cult stays in California, and we explain how the Orange County Sheriff Department's decision to work with ICE actually fits with our chill California lifestyle. Also: Schwarzenegger says some cool stuff about imprisoning Oil Execs and experiences some good ol' fashioned anti-German racism in the process (yes, we know he's Austrian) Subscribe at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult to get a premium episode every week

Subscribe at Patreon.com/MinionDeathCult to get every weekly premium episode This week, parents want to kill their dumb kids and their dumb kids' dumb teachers for allowing them to walk out in protest of gun violence. We have two exclusive Facebook videos: a Disgusted Dad pulls a knife on a student at a PTA meeting in order to prove a point and a nameless, faceless Dad confronts his son's principal to DEMAND answers from her. He is not satisfied. An extra, personal bonus episode on this topic is also available on Patreon  

Subscribe at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult to get this and every weekly premium episode Trump fires the FBI, Hillary, Obama, and Rex Tillerson, who is now the leader of The Resistance.

Subscribe to Patreon.com/miniondeathcult to get every weekly premium episode This week's all about Stormy Daniels, because we ran out of time to talk about Rex Tillerson, because boy is this content SEXY. We cover several interesting responses to the alleged affair, ranging from "I don't care if Trump did much grosser, oddly specific acts" to "It's gay to talk about sex." Also: deplorable infighting among confused people who are on exactly the same page.

Subscribe at Patreon.com/miniondeathcult for access to every premium episode NRA spokesman Bill Whittle inserts himself into the Matrix and will stop at nothing to prevent gun control regulations from taking effect.