Untitled: The Long Trek Home

UPDATE: libsyn did something wrong and originally cut off the ending of this episode. you may need to refresh your feed to get the full version?? -- these are some bad kids, folks! chelsea and SEM talk season 3 TOS episode "And The Children Shall Lead," where kids are evil and you can't trust angels. oh, there's also a mass suicide in this one. in space!

The crew lands on a planet and Kirk promptly falls in a hole and gets amnesia. Chelsea and SEM try to deal with the episode's events as best they can. This time, Long Trek Home discusses the Star Trek TOS season 3 episode "The Paradise Syndrome" ...!   It's a weird, weird episode. 

NOTE: An updated version of this episode was uploaded on 7/19/2017. If you notice voices playing on only one stereo channel, you may need to redownload the episode or refresh your podcast feed to get the corrected version. -- Hey, this episode's pretty good! Chelsea and SEM watch "The Enterprise Incident," the second episode of Star Trek: TOS season three. That's half of season three that's tolerable already! Anyway, Spock gets a rare love interest, Kirk needs a nap, and the Commander is your hosts' new collective fav. The Romulans have a point, Scotty's amazing except for his hair, and - did we mention the Commander? 

jeff comes back to help chelsea and SEM deal with the first episode of star trek: the original series season three, "spock's brain."   oh jeez. just ... oh, jeez. oh no. oh boy.   note: this episode is out a week late because SGDQ happened. oops? oops.

At the end of season two, we got an e-mail! We also talked about season 2 and listed our favorite episodes. C'mon down and check it out.

we watched the final episode of star trek TOS season 2 - "assignment: earth" it's a failed pilot for a show that never happened, and your intrepid hosts don't need long to figure out why. chelsea and sem get on a conference call with guest host jeff to talk about conference calls, failed pilots, and stock footage. google teaches us all about half-remembered history. also, there's a cat.   bonus: listen to this dope mashup of 99 red balloons x 99 problems

this episode forces us to dig into the nitty gritty of slavery and also jesus. chelsea doesn't go in depth with marxist theory. modern day rome has a tv station that is a point of contention between the hosts. spock and bones do a lot of fighting for plot purposes. kirk has a dubious interaction with a woman. merikus is a tragic figure, but like, in the classical sense probably?   just read the water margin instead of watching this episode of star trek. but definitely listen to this podcast first.   CORRECTION: toward the end of the episode - it was emperor constantine, not emperor augustus. 

  We watched "The Ultimate Computer" from Star Trek TOS season 2! It was really good! unionize now and then you can rise from the dead update: now the file is louder 

In this very special Memorial Day episode, which was absolutely recorded that way on purpose, we swear, we watched Star Trek: TOS episode "The Omega Glory." You should absolutely watch "The Omega Glory" ASAP. Please, it is incredible and neither of us can figure out how or why it got made.   Things get patriotic, we solve an anatomical riddle of the future, talk about mummies, and recite the pledge of allegiance as badly as possible. There's a bullshit space disease and a mad captain, which would be a fine episode if left on their own, but then ... well ... uh ...  Something something red scare, I don't know.

We're still watching season 2 of Star Trek: The Original Series! This time, we watched "By Any Other Name," an episode about horrifying tentacle monsters who basically just look like human beings who make slightly off fashion choices. This episode is extremely topical because we make references to orbs again, the hot new craze everyone loves and worships. Oh, and the Enterprise gets taken over by secret tentacle monsters or whatever. Seriously, we never see their true forms. Scotty makes a beautiful sacrifice, Kirk is a femme fatale, and Spock is secretly pretty conniving. Also: the secret origins of our Soundcloud beef REVEALED!

it's the nazi episode. there's nazis, but in space!  this is a weird, weird episode. but it's not bad? there's unsubtle metaphor, non-metaphor, and just so much heil-ing. so much. we barely mention it in the episode, but trust me, it's ever-present in this episode. this is why you don't break the prime directive, kids. anyway, nazis bad, enterprise good, spock wears a bunch of hats. listen to the episode to hear us puzzle over many things!

We're still on season 2 of TOS, folks, the Star Trek season that never ends. This time we watched "Return to Tomorrow." A terrible man of online haunts this episode like a grim spectre. Bodies are stolen, women are real, and we love orb. Chelsea gets mad at a lot of things this time. SEM knows what's going on, and appreciates the details of science. Neither knows what warp speed actually is.

Warning - This episode has some pretty heavy themes, including some very rape-y bits. Our mission to watch all of Star Trek continues. We're in the middle of season 2, and watched "A Private Little War." Anyway, hey, this episode sure is a Vietnam War metaphor, huh?????? Boy howdy. Nona has an amazing vest. You may notice an episode missing in the feed! Various disasters transpired and that episode is temporarily lost - having the program crash and the file get corrupted TWICE while trying to edit'll put a dent in posting, you dig? It will be up eventually but may be out of sequence.   Also, we're so sorry for the delay in posting anything! There were vacations, conventions, the aforementioned crashes and file corruptions, and a bunch of other things that got in the way. Hopefully we'll be back on track now!

You know that episode of Star Trek: The Original Series where there's just a whole planet full of gangsters? This is that one. People get kidnapped over and over, the phrase 'a piece of the action' is said about a hundred times, and Kirk wears a terrible hat. There's an entire society based on a novelty oversized book about gangsters. Knife kid is gone too soon. We love this episode. Please watch it.

The quest to watch all of Star Trek continues, this time with TOS episode "The Gamesters of Triskelion"...! Chelsea watched this episode two weeks before the episode and can't decipher her notes, SEM is the only one who can pronounce Ayn Rand, and we all learn important lessons about Jiffy Pop. For once Chekov doesn't want to fuck, synonyms for slavery are discussed, and bets are placed. Also, we have questions about Lars.  Oh, also dinner trays are great teaching tools.

we've been doing this show for a year, so to mix things up a little, we read a book!!!! it's a star trek book, don't worry. it's called "mudd in your eye" and it is certainly a piece of fiction that was published. by the way, we're taking next week off because chelsea is going on vacation

this episode is an absolute auditory hell and there's nothing i can do about it. im sorry. we had two guests and things went awry. kirk lied, tribbles died both hosts' moms are guests on this episode!!!!!!

what is a psycho-tricorder help

We're a podcast dedicated to watching all of Star Trek, forever. Every episode. Even the TOS episode "Obsession." This time, Leslie dies, a cloud fries, and Kirk ... okay, he doesn't cry, my rhyme scheme's falling apart already. I tried. We learn about cobalt bombs, diamonds aren't that strong, and there's a cloud. This is the worst Moby Dick episode so far.

I love space socialism with occasional money   IMPORTANT REFERENCE MATERIAL AS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE: https://imgur.com/a/c5V4c     note: chicago is having summer in february so there's A Lot of ambient noise, enjoy