Tread Perilously

Tread Perilously starts the summer Total Request Live with the debut episode of the forgotten ABC TV series The Charmings.  Waking up after a 1000-year sleeping curse, Snow White Charming, her husband Eric, and their sons find themselves in 1980s Los Angeles. They attempt to re-establish some sort of life with a home, new neighbors, and a new school for the boys. But when Snow's stepmother, Lillian White, suggests they'll never fit in and a note from the school's psychologist puts the family on blast, will Snow and Eric accept that they must lie to make modern life work? Erik, of course, watched The Charmings when it aired. Justin wonders, "why is this?" The pair try to determine all the things the pilot is missing. They also try to figure out who would've been the "budget John Mahoney" at the time. A digression about The Birdcage happens immediately. The endless abyss outside Castle Grayskull becomes incredibly important. The problems with the show's premise are explored -- including a solution to its bigges

Tread Perilously's summer grab bag continues by finally returning to Cop Rock for its second episode, "Ill-Gotten Gaines." Following the death of unarmed man, Hollander tries to pin it all on LaRusso. Meanwhile, he also assigns Gains to Rose, who is still grieving the death of his partner in the pilot episode. But making things worse, Gaines thinks it is okay to sing Motown classics at Rose. The mayor and the chief continue their cold war. Ruskin makes a fateful decision after talking with Quinn. Also, Rose sings a eulogy to his fallen comrade. Erik tries to compare the episode to the second hour of The Shield. Justin isn't so sure. The pair also end up finally talking about The Acolyte. They try to determine when creator Steven Bochco knew about what was happening at Rampart Division. Justin compares Cop Rock to Tequila & Bonetti and various natural disasters. A wild 1980s sax man appears! James Cameron gets celebrated for his asshole tendencies. The show's status as a bad musical is once again confirmed

After a long absence, Tread Perilously returns to the world of Tequila and Bonetti with an episode called "Fetch This, Pal." When Tequila and Bonetti are called to the scene of a possible bomb scare, they are accosted by the head of the LAPD's K9 unit (guest star James Tolkan) who refuses to give them access to the building. Soon, Bonetti signs Tequila up for a certification test the dog has no intent on passing, even as the stakes get higher. But will any of that matter when bomb scares become real bombings and the prime suspect appears to have history with the K9 unit? Erik declares the episode to be both inefficient and irritating. The tonal whiplash also works against it with scenes becoming too dramatic and too comical at the same time. Justin is confronted with another television series he can't tell is real. He also imagines other actors as Tequila even as the character earns a new voice. Don Fanucci makes a surprising appearance. George Lucas turns out to be a fan of an obscure Ewan McGregor film. A

The Ballad of John D. Cort continues with an episode of Baywatch called "Old Friends." Mitch, Craig, and Garner take a few days off to hang glide in the Santa Monica mountains. Well, Garner is more interested in reading and dozing. But when Mitch crashes into a tree, gets bit by a snake, and subsequently falls into a quarry, it's up to Craig and Garner to get him out of the wilderness. Meanwhile, Cort is reminded of a friend who died a year earlier. But when he visits the widow, he gets the sense things may not be as it seems. Will it turn out he was a patsy all along? Erik and Justin realize Baywatch's time has passed. They also call for the return of Geocities and webrings. Colonial Marine Trevor Wierzbowski becomes an unlikely mascot. Mitch's fall down the cliff becomes the lynch pin of the entire outing. The love fest for John Allen Nelson continues. Captain Thorpe makes a very special appearance. David Hasselhoff's ego gets examined. Manwë joins the pantheon. A brief guest turn by Hope Marie Carlton lead

Tread Perilously's month of treading safely concludes with a top episode of Night Court: "A Day in the Life." When Judge Harry Stone's courtroom is called upon to adjudicate 200 cases before midnight, Dan's salacious plans are threatened. Will he, Christine, Harry, Mac, Roz, and Bull survive an onslaught of would-be gods, dueling Moses-es, amateur magicians, irate Nielsen families, and Barry Manilow? Will NBC boss Brandon Tartikoff be called upon as a character witness? And will Dan get to score with his recurring, um, "sex interest" in her van before she drives away to California forever? Also, will slow talking prove to be the most important form of comedy ever devised? Justin once again reveals his mother let him watch Night Court as a child, which hits differently after this episode. He also explains the show doesn't really coalesce until season 4. Erik defends visiting New York, but can't imagine living there. Justin warns people off watching any season 9 episode of Night Court. John Larroquette once aga

Tread Perilously continues its month of treading safely with one of the best Columbo episodes ever filmed: "A Stitch In Crime." When Dr. Barry Mayfield's (special guest star Leonard Nimoy) ambitions to become renowned for a new anti-rejection drug are threatened by the head of the project, he plots to murder him in the slowest way possible. When his plan goes into motion, Mayfield kills the nurse (special guest star Anne Francis) who suspects him of sabotaging their boss's heart operation. Columbo soon arrives on the scene and makes life a living hell for Mayfield. But will the smart doctor fall for Columbo's ruse or is he an adversary unlike anything the lieutenant has faced before? Erik and Justin are right to invoke logic when discussing Nimoy, who proves to be a superb antagonist for star Peter Falk. They also fall in love, again, with Nita Talbot, who guests in the episode as Anne Francis's roommate. Justin declares the story "shockingly modern" thanks to several recent shows indebted to Columbo. Erik nu

Tread Perilously engages in a normal human podcast by watching an episode of What We Do In The Shadows called "On The Run." When a mysterious vampire tracks down Laszlo over the matter of an ancient debt, he abandons his life on Staten Island to become "Jackie Daytona" -- a beloved local fixture and bar owner in Pennsylvania. Much to his surprise, Jackie becomes invested in the success of a nearby high school varsity volleyball team. But when the vampire who forced Laszlo to flee rolls into town, will Jackie walk away just when the volleyball team needs him most? Meanwhile, Colin Robinson makes an awkward proposition. Erik tells the tale of his conversion to a What We Do In the Shadows fan. The pair debate how to say Mark Proksch's last name. Justin enjoys Harvey Guillén's weariness as Guillermo while Erik ends up really taking to the styles of Proksch, Natasia Demetriou, and Matt Berry. Mark Hamill also proves to be a great guest star. The actual placement of the episode in the show's history becomes somethi

Tread Perilously flips the paradigm for June with a month of Tread Safely. And to start: the curious episode of Psych called "Dual Spires." Shawn and Gus receive an invitation to enjoy the Dual Spire Cinnamon Festival, but a day in the woods somewhere north of Santa Barbara feasting on hot cider and cinnamon pie turns into a mystery when young Paula Merral is found dead. Wrapped in plastic. Soon, it becomes clear all is not as it appears as town secrets are exposed, Shawn keeps his relationship with Juliet quiet, and everything in Dual Spires feels strangely familiar. Erik and Justin delight in all the Twin Peaks references. Justin reveals his history with the show. For Erik, it's only his second episode. The pair once again wonder why Dana Ashbrook never got another high profile series. See also: guest star Sheryl Lee. The monkey bread conspiracy is exposed. The riff on the theme song is examined, as is Gus's reaction to the citizens of Dual Spires. The presence of Robin Lively is welcome, even if Justin wis

Tread Perilously's Failed Prestige month takes an unscheduled trip on Pan Am for the episode called "We'll Always Have Paris." Kate's first trip to Paris is filled with excitement and terror as her mother decides to book a seat on the flight. Also, her CIA handler wants her to deliver a package to a courier in the city. Meanwhile, Laura has reasons of her own to avoid her mother, Dean continues his search for Bridget while maybe starting something with Colette, and Maggie's choice to defend herself leads to Ted trying -- and failing -- to be her white knight. Erik uses the wrong microphone and discovers the scheduled show for the week, Vinyl, is currently unavailable. Justin finds the spy plot to be the most laughable and declares that Pan Am fails in a very special way. The pair try to find a better role for star Kelli Garner. Christina Ricci remains a Tread Perilously favorite, though. Margot Robbie also proves a welcome presence even if she fails the "zoo" vocal test. The male cast, however, prompts many n

Tread Perilously's month of failed prestige TV continues with the pilot episode of Manhattan: "You Always Hurt The Ones You Love." When Charlie accepts a blind offer to work at a government facility in New Mexico, he is shocked to discover he will be helping to design an atomic bomb. His wife, Abby, adjusts to the strange way of life out on the plains as no one can grow crops in the local soil and all the wives build a society of their own. Meanwhile, renegade scientist Frank Winter must prove his theory to Oppenheimer to save his group from being shut down. Erik and Justin end up having a spirited discussion about history, historical inaccuracies, and the Super Soldier Program. Erik gets distracted by star Rachel Brosnahan in 1940s outfits while Justin can't completely wash away co-star Ashely Zuckerman's resemblance to The Office's B.J. Novak. John Benjamin Hickey's strengths as Frank are also called into question. The filmography of episode director Thomas Schlamme leads into the weeds. A wild Katja Herber

Tread Perilously's Failed Prestige month continues with the second episode of Hap and Leonard, "The Bottoms." Hap is still trying to find the bridge from his childhood that will lead to the river that, in turn, will lead to the money Howard hired him to find. Leonard is less sure as Howard's goons are both dumb and dangerous. He also gets a phone call that will force him to leave town. Later, Hap finds himself in a show of bravado with Howard and facing renewed affections from his ex-wife, Trudy. Will it turn out she's been withholding the real location of the river? Erik is thrilled to see James Purefoy in a series, but is unsure about the episode as a discrete segment of story. The rest of the cast, which includes Michael Kenneth Williams as Leonard, Christina Hendricks as Trudy, and an almost unrecognizable Neil Sandilands as one of Howard's goons are also welcome even as the plot flounders. Howard's actor, however, ends up being the one Erik and Justin want to recast. Justin tries to recall if he finished

Tread Perilously's Failed Prestige month continues with the Terriers episode called "Dog and Pony." When Hank's $30,000 check becomes evidence in the case against his client, he tries to drum up business to cover the deposit he still owes on the house. He soon finds a $5,000 bounty on a man wanted in connection with a liquor store heist. He and Britt encounter him only to find he's taller and stronger than the bounty notice let on. Their next step: scare his half-brother into doing something. But when that uncovers a further crime, will Hank and Britt turn it to their advantage? Erik and Justin once again get lost in the Geography Corner of a show set (again) in San Diego County. The presence of The Shield's Shawn Ryan in the creative team proves to be a positive. Star Donal Logue's corrupt cop aura also lends itself well to Hank -- so much so, Erik refuses to call him anything but "Donal Logue." Magneto goes to law school. Hulk start to worry about heart health. The pair try to determine a better name for th

Tread Perilously begins a month of would-be prestige TV series that failed to connect with the debut episode of John from Cincinnati -- "His Visit: Day One." Retired surfer Mitch Yost is spotted on the water by an ambitious promoter and a mysterious man who repeats what he hears called John. Back in town, Mitch's son, Butchie -- also a retired pro surfer -- is anxious to score, but discovers his heroin has been cut so much, it might as well be nothing. Meanwhile, Butchie's son, Shaun, is looking to participate in his first surfing competition and maybe get a sponsorship from the promoter hounding Mitch. Do any of these things matter? And why does Mitch spontaneously hover two feet in the air? Erik and Justin confront one of the most infamous examples of failed prestige: John From Cincinnati. They laud a deep cast which includes Rebecca De Mornay and Bruce Greenwood, but are unsure about some of the less-seasoned actors, including the person who plays John. Geography Corner gets into detail about the Interstat

Tread Perilously's annual Doctor Who month concludes with Tom Baker's final story as The Doctor: "Logopolis." When The Doctor determines he must measure a real police box as part of a chameleon circuit fix, The Master springs a space-time trap on him. Meanwhile, newly hired air hostess Tegan Jovanka makes her way to Heathrow with her aunt Vanessa. Also, a mysterious Watcher observes as all paths lead to a motorway bypass some miles from the airport. Will Tegan find her way into the TARDIS? Will The Master get his revenge on The Doctor? And just who is the Watcher? All will be revealed. The moment has been prepared for, after all. Justin is affected by the funereal tone of the whole story. Nevertheless, he is pleased to see Mrs. J in her first adventure. Tom's somber performance is critiqued. His treatment of Matthew Waterhouse on set also gets a discussion. Erik reveals his dislike of Baker's final Doctor costume. Block Transfer Computation gets a lot of mileage despite not making a lot of sense. Writer Chris

Tread Perilously continues to celebrate 90 years of Tom Baker with the Doctor Who story called "The Invisible Enemy." When the Virus of the Nucleus of the Swarm makes contact with human astronauts on a relief mission to Titan in the year 5000, The Doctor and Leela are also caught up in events. Soon, The Doctor is infected with the Nucleus itself while Leela is strangely immune. The pair arrive on a medical asteroid. The Doctor asks renowned scientist Dr. Marius to clone him and miniaturize the clone so The Doctor can take a fantastic voyage inside his own body. Will it stop the Swarm or will Leela prove to have the best solution? Erik and Justin are surprised to see actor Michael Sheard twice in two weeks and go on about his time as both Admiral Ozzel in The Empire Strikes Back and Hitler in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Louise Jameson and Leela prove to be standouts even as the script constantly mentions how dumb the character is meant to be. Erik discusses the work of producer Graham Williams while J

Tread Perilously's celebration of Tom Baker's 90th year continues with the Doctor Who story called "Pyramids of Mars." A quirk in time and space forces the TARDIS to land at UNIT HQ some 60 years before it is built. Instead, they find a priory owned by archeologist Marcus Scarman. For his part, the explorer has been possessed by Sutek, an alien imprisoned under a Saqaara pyramid for millennia. Will The Doctor and Sarah Jane figure out the Osirian's plan before he launches a rocket at Mars or will the bodies of hapless Edwardians keep piling up? Erik points out the Robert Holmes hidden in the proceedings. Justin enjoys the silliness of it all. Elisabeth Sladen proves to be the MVP as Sarah Jane snarks her way through the adventure. The Scarman brothers prove to be compelling guest characters even as Justin and Erik can't help but riff on Sutek's genocidal tendencies. Ancient Aliens comes up every so often. The presence of a poacher leads to a lot of discussion. The many highs of the story are tempered by an un

Tread Perilously returns to Doctor Who as Erik and Justin celebrate 90 years of Tom Baker. First up: Tom's debut story, "Robot." As The Doctor comes to grips with his new incarnation, a string of curious thefts activates UNIT to investigate. But, somehow, the Fourth Doctor already knows the break-ins will allow nefarious individuals to make a disintegrator gun. Meanwhile, Sarah Jane Smith's visit to an advanced scientific think tank leads her to believe the group may have disturbing intentions. Are the two things related? And will The Doctor figure himself out in time to assist UNIT in stopping a giant robot?  Justin and Erik witness as Tom Baker portrays The Doctor at his most "Tom Baker-ish." They also discuss the circumstances that led to The Doctor's regeneration. Tom in a UNIT story leaves Justin perplexed. The fascy antagonists, though, are quite clear to him. Erik discusses producer Barry Letts' place in Doctor Who history and why "Robot" serves as an epilogue to his era. Ian Marter's first appearance

Tread Perilously's month of AfterSchool Specials concludes with Schoolboy Father. When high school junior Charles Elderberry learns his summer camp girlfriend gave birth to a son, he learns it is his and attempts to do everything he can to block an adoption. The frustrated social worker gives him one week to learn the ropes of being a parent while also still being a high school student. Will Charles Elderberry grow up in just seven days or will he accept the wisdom his ex already understood after nine months of bringing a child to term? Also, why is Charles Elderberry's friend, Jeff, so into Mrs. Elderberry? Erik, literally, cannot get over the presence of Rob Lowe. A long conversation about the actor follows. Justin calls Schoolboy Father the most "AfterSchool Special" of the specials they watched this month. Erik praises the use of a novel as source material as it creates texture that would be missing from an original teleplay. Justin recalls summer camp movies. Jennifer Connelly and Optimus Prime become th

Tread Perilously returns to ABC AfterSchool Specials with What Are Friends For? After Amy moves across the country to Santa Monica, CA following her mother's divorce, she meets Michelle Mudd -- a neighbor girl whose mother is also a divorcee. None of the other girls in the building like Michelle Mudd very much, but Amy is strangely drawn to her. Michelle Mudd likes to lie, steal, and dabble in the dark forces of the hoary underworld. But will Amy catch on that their friendship may just be another Michelle Mudd's playthings? And will she learn what friends are for? Sarah Madden returns after a long absence to chat with Justin and Erik about the special. Erik confirms director Stephen Gyllenhaal is exactly who you think he is. Justin tries to determine if the book the special is based on was published in the late 1960s or 70s. Sarah determines the answer to the special's key question. Michelle Mudd's father is re-imagined as a used car salesman while her mother "owns a boutique." The presence of Melora Hardin i

Tread Perilously's month of AfterSchool Specials takes a detour into a CBS Schoolbreak Special with Ace Hits the Big Time. When Horace Hobart moves from an unnamed New Jersey city to Manhattan, he is offered two choices: join the Purple Falcons or get "chewed up" by a rival gang called the Piranhas. Instead, he creates a third option by reinventing himself as "Ace" on his first day at school. Soon, the Falcons see him as the protection they need from the Piranhas. But all of that takes a back seat when "Ace" gets the Falcons parts in a movie. Or, is all of this in Horace's head? Erik and Justin get lost as the episode feels more like the afterschool special format's death spiral than a genuine hour of television. Justin tries to find the moral. Erik gets obsessed with the plot's "violence gang" understanding of inner-city crime and tries to determine if the Falcons were invited to Cyrus's meeting. The name "Horace Hobart" inspires a lot of riffing. The actor who plays him, Rob Stone, does not. The pair rememb