Lawrence.com Podcasts: Punditocracy

This installment of Punditocracy requires husky pants, because it's a fatty! Marvel as Aaron and Gavon create more terrorists than the Iraq war, search for Bill Clinton's shoe buried deep within Chris Wallace's ass, and hunt for racist, animal mutilating senators from Virginia! This episode is so big you'll have problems stuffing its decapitated head in a mail box! It's a morbidly obese (and just plain morbid) politics and culture front-butt!

Our inevitably award winning coverage of the 2006 elections continues. (You listening, you bunch of Peabody Committee douche bags?) Paul Morrison, the Democratic candidate for Kansas Attorney General, tells us why he thinks the current occupant of that office sucks at his job. The Kline campaign then responds with a tersely worded verbal wedgie. It's a politics and culture campaign smackdown!

This episode of the politics and culture podcast is chock-full of slander, inaccuracies and partial nudity! Hey, we're a "docudrama"...we can make up as much crap as we want to (and wear as few pants as we see fit). ABC's historical hatchet job on 9/11 and Steve Irwin's non-shocking death both get the revisionist ray sting.

Punditocracy's triumphant return attempts to stimulate more than just your gag reflex. We have a couple of (not fake) interviews: one with former Republican Kent Goyen, who's running for for the Kansas House as a Democrat, and another with KU Prof. Don Haider-Markel, who thinks that running away from the plague-ridden G.O.P. isn't such a bad idea. It's a semi-legit edition of the politics and culture podcast!

When we weren't busy ignoring the World Cup or burning photos of the Jolie-Pitt Anti-Christ, we found the time to speculate on how many virgins await Abu Musab al-Zarqawi in martyr heaven (Hint: He ain't in heaven and Ann Coulter ain't a virgin). Other chaste mentions include Britney Spears' manny, the gay marriage ban and Wesley Crusher. It's a politics and culture abstinence pledge!

Over the Memorial Day weekend, we didn't let those pesky casualties in Iraq get us down...we went to the movies! Join Punditocracy as we shirk our civic responsibility and dish about Tom Hanks, Al Gore and other frivolous wastes of the freedom that our armed services have sacrificed so much trying to preserve. We lower our flags to half staff in honor of the fallen warriors who gave their lives during the making of X-Men III. It's the politics and culture summer movie extravaganza!

Concerned that the government is tapping your phones? Afraid that a Mexican is diluting your precious bodily fluids? Forgot to take your medication? Just pop a Punditocracy and let the politics and culture chemical lobotomy melt your problems away! (Warning: Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean that Tom Cruise isn't out to get you.)

The politics and culture talk-show straps on some fish-nets and gets freaky! Join the street-walkin' pundits as they turn tricks on former CIA chief Porter Goss, Republican Poker (We Hardly Knew Her) Parties, and more. As Jack Abramoff says in frequent phone conversations with Karl Rove, "It's hard out there for a pimp." Of course, if you were working for the NSA, you'd already know that...

In honor of Rush Limbaugh's recent arrest for prescription drug fraud, we're doing the entire show baked on Oxy! Yay! Join the piss-tested pundits on parole as we shoot-up some immigration reform, free-base Donald Rumsfeld and drop Tom Cruise's baby (metaphorically speaking, of course). It's a politics and culture plea bargain!

Repent! The End Times are nigh! Here are but a few signs of the coming rapture: Nuclear War with Iran! Crash wins best picture! Frenchmen rioting (well, that's not exactly new)! Nintendo releases a genital controlled console! And, most Apocalyptic of all...PUNDITOCRACY RETURNS! Join the one, true politics & culture podcast as it descends locust-like upon the heathen masses. Don't be Kirk Cameron and get left behind!

Join Punditocracy for a celebratory tea-bagging as we marvel at the Democrats' rudimentary cajones. The recent elections, Iraq withdrawal and Madonna's disco-cooter will warm your cockles and prevent shrinkage. It's a politics-and-culture vasectomy reversal!

It's an orgiastic gang-bang of liberal nay-saying! The pundits dance on the graves of Harriet Miers' and "Scooter" Libbey's political careers, all while barely stifling mean spirited giggles. For balance, we brought back our token conservative. We couldn't really hear what he was saying, since we were too busy moaning in self-righteous ecstasy. While we towel ourselves off, enjoy the latest installment of Punditocracy, Lawrence.com's politics and culture talkshow!

The politics and culture talkshow surveys the political damage wrought by Katrina (and soon Rita), discuss the blinding whiteness of soon-to-be Chief Honky John Roberts, and for some reason spends an inexplicable amount of time waxing rapturously about the career of veteran character actor Terry O'Quinn (that bald guy from "Lost"). Hey, it's not "The Situation Room"; it's Punditocracy! We can only hope to be half as funny as Wolf Blitzer...

After sunning in Crawford while the Gulf drowns, we put our fiddles down long enough to admire President Nero's flailing administration. It's been awhile, but Punditocracy is back! Let them eat FEMA cake!

Yes, Punditocracy is back from posting purgatory! We recorded this episode almost two weeks ago, but unfortunately Karl Rove ate it and passed it through the length of his oily sphincter. Since being partially digested by the Prince of Darkness himself, the sound quality is stained and the ending was pinched off by the unholiest of the Unholy's holes. Consider it a recently recovered "lost episode" covering the aforementioned Fecal Flower, dated Supreme Court speculation and Harry Potter fisting.

While attempting to keep perspective in lieu of the London bombings, we try to find some levity in Judith Miller getting prison tats and Lance Armstrong's testicular fortitude. Join us on Punditocracy, the politics & culture talkshow! (It's either us or being lectured to about third-world debt relief on a Live 8 bootleg by Motley Crue...you decide. )

On this Independence Day edition of Punditocracy, we launch a bottle rocket up the Supreme Court's pooper, we toss an IED on Bush's Iraq policy, and we drop a crazy bomb on the "Church" of Scientology. Crack a brew-dog, chomp on a weiner, let freedom ring.

The politics and culture talkshow tackles whiny Republicans with Hitler mustaches and neck fat who want little Timmy to go to school in a cardboard box at Guantanamo Bay. Get bogged down in the quagmire that is...Punditocracy!

We here at Punditocracy have been invited to the Neverland Ranch for Michael Jackson's celebratory beer-blast/child-orgy, so we're taking the week off! Grab the K-Y Jelly and Schlitz...it's time for a road trip! While we feast on a buffet of jail-bait, we've assembled a compilation of some of our favorite bits from the KJHK days. The topics are a bit moldy, but our invective is as crisp and bitter as freshly brewed malt liquour. Phil Kline, BTK and Martin Scorcesse's body hair are but a few of the targets we take aim at.

On this week's installment of the politics and culture talkshow, the pundits put down their water pipes long enough to debate the Supreme Court ruling on medicinal marijuana. Also, we take a really big toke off of the controversy-spleef that DNC chairman Howard Dean is rolled up in. You'll laugh, you'll cry...you'll want to eat an entire bag of Cheetos.