Your Kickstarter Sucks

Look to your right. Look to your left. Both of the people sitting next to you are Jon Voight, and they are both doing the most insane accent you've ever heard in your life. That's what these teachers in our woke schools want these days, and the Demonrat politicians are just cowardly enough to give it to them! Now what on God's green earth could I be talking about? There's only one way to find out. You're gonna have to go Blair Witch Mode and grab a Sausage McMuckin, and oh my God I just got a "too many characters" warning in this episode description box hahaha. This shit is long as hell (I wrote it in reverse order). ByeMusic for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Now folks, I won't presume to tell you what to do with your own money. But from time time, it's been asked, "Where do I go to get more YKS?" [citation needed] And by god, the only place I've ever found any more

On this week's YKS, we attempt to reconstruct what the show was about despite apparently throwing away the show notes, or maybe never even writing anything down in the first place. Oh wait. That's what I'm doing right NOW!!! Well if you go back and look at the sheet we write out before recording, it looks like we revisited the perfect work-from-home Kickstarter with fresh eyes, which I thought was a smart angle for this. And then we do 6 Kickstarters of course. There's a nasty game for nerds on there, there's a Trump thing, a scam, and a useless niche product designed by a space alien. Plus, we decide what kind of store we would be if we were going to be a store. Dollars to donuts there's some good riffs in here too...but don't take my word for it. Listen to my words! Of it! (By downloading the show now.)Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS, head on o

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these podcasters from the swift completion of their appointed episodes! Just playing. If there was a bunch of heat or gloom we probably wouldn't do it. But there was a shitload of snow by Tennessee standards, and we still managed to turn on the computer and do our jobs. Incredible. On today's episode we're talking about, well, that dadgum post office demon Louis Dejoy, new seating concepts, copsucking comics, and as you can probably guess by looking at the title of the episode, air fryer apologia. All that and more on a very normal episode of YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS, yeahhhh, you're gonna wanna head over to YKS Premium. Jesseuary is starting to take shape, and you're gonna love it, but in the mean time, we got bonus episodes comin out the wazoo over there, and they are ready to d

The first episode of 2022. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more YKS, you're gonna want to download YKS Premium over on Patreon. This past month, YKS Premium listeners got some real treats as we released some heretofore paywalled crossover episodes with professional podcasts Howell Dawdy's Fast Track and The P.O.D. Kast. But now it's back to the YKS slop. Join us for more Kickstarters, more goofin' off, more lines of resolution, and well, more. Five bucks, Eight bucks, whatever ya got, as long as it's one of those two amounts of bucks, you're gonna get some content. Join the familia of YKS Premium.This week's episode of YKS is sponsored by HelloFresh. Holy guacamole, they got some good food there. And heck, maybe they've even got some of that guacamole I just mentioned a second ago. But don't worry, eating these avocados won't keep ya from getting a house

Oppa still on Christmas Vacation style! The boys are back at it again with some YKS Premium Freemium content: an unearthed, probably-new-to-you classic, our interview (?) and Bloody Mary sesh with Birthday and Sloppy Boy Tim Kalpakis. Oh yeah, and there's a little bit extra from your boys thrown in there to sweeten the pot. Actually I just looked and it's like 30 extra minutes. We could have just done a new episode. Oh well. Pour 'em up and enjoy the show! And when you're done, click here to say why it's total bs we didn't do 30 more measly minutes to justify an all-new ep this week: Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucksLook into the mirror, say "funny guest" three times, and what will appear? Writer and comedian Tim Kalpakis, of the Birthday Boys and Sloppy Boys, that's who! Tim pours us a couple of Bloody Marys and talks about some of our favorite topics: Bar Rescue, getting an MRI, and why Mike Mitchell is everybody's favorite. Plus, you know we had to get a former SNL writer (Lorne.) to help us punch up some J

Oppa Christmas Vacation Style! We're taking a week off, but still couldn't let ya leave empty handed...so allow us to introduce, from behind the paywall, an absolute banger of an episode from this past Miketober. It's The Stuff with our friends the Doughboys! Wiger and Mitch join us for a classic rewatch of a scary marshmallow movie, guess some ice cream flavors (pretty badly if I recall), and much more. For new listeners, enjoy this episode ad-free and the rest of Miketober over at Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks, and for those of you who have already heard this crap and hate our guts, please enjoy an all-new intro, outro, and yes, everyone's favorite part, advertisements. Music for Miketober is courtesy of Craig Dickman and Jesse Farrar. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Exec Producer lola butt. Ads time! Well gang, since I'm one of those guys who can barely remember to zip up his fly on the way out the door, you know I ain't memorizing all 5,678 of my passwords. You know what I'm talking about? Well, good ne

Live from Nashville, Tennessee, it's YKS! That really could be what they're saying some day. Until then, of course, we simply have to march around our homes and say it ourselves. We have to say it to ourselves, to our pets, and we have to say it to the car warranty people who call us and make their phone numbers look like ours by borrowing the first 7 digits! But hopefully, someday, we can all know peace...when Mike and JF are the most famous people on the planet. But today is just as good! Because we've got an episode that hits all the big marks: The JF Position, living the Cone Life, and our worst xmas gifts. Plus, we're changing the sweeping paradigm with extreme advances in new combinatorial technology, solving the popcorn car problem once and for all, and finally figuring out how the hell freelancers are supposed to sit down. And not a moment too soon! I haven't gotten a W-2 form in like 7 years. My back hurts!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additi

Hear ye, hear ye! Well if it's anything like his last album, I think I'll pass! On today's programme, we're thumbing through Area Woman Magazine to read up on some Life Pro Tips, and we'll be talking about the guys I don't look like, which believe it or not, are all the wild and crazy and strange looking guys throughout history. Plus, we've got an update on using your balls like a penis, the shower routines of people who don't know how to shower, and finally figure out the right way to make a bicycle move around (shoot it??) It's one hell of a show, and I'm not just saying that because my livelihood depends on lots of people listening to it. I actually think it's good! And you can believe that because if you don't, Santa isn't coming this year. That's right...no presents!! And we LIKE those!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For a present you get yourself with n

Monday morning! Quite possibly the worst time of the week, many were saying, until the saints and kings of YKS Inc. altered their release schedule to give us all a pep in our step. Thank God for those perfect souls! Today on the show, fate smiles upon us once again as the boys are talking Rob Rigglin', the Mither Beath Borger, and the Great Toast Rant. Plus, we got souls of inanimate objects to look at, new innovations in the butter shape space, and European guys hopping around in their living rooms for whatever reason. It's enough reason to hop in your time machine and listen to this episode over and over again. But you gotta start right now! Or else Mike wins!For more YKS this hall of daze season, you're gonna want to head on over to YKS Premium. There's so much extras over there you know we had to fix you a plate. Scoot your butt over there for exclusive video, bonus episodes, merch discounts, and more! This past week on YKS Premium, we once again locked horns with our listeners in a new edition of YKS Liv

We all crap and pee, sure. But what then? What then, I ask you?!?! Well there's an app for that, and oh yeah, the app is a bag. On today's show, Mike and JF are OFFICIALLY back on their bullshit, unless you don't like that kind of stuff, in which case it could not be any further from the truth. But! What they do have, whether you like it or not, is some ribald humor, informative discussion on various topics, and a friendship that will stand the test of time. Plus the crap and pee bags thing from the title of the episode. Check it out, gang, and if you don't love it, you can always listen to it anyway. Not everything is gonna be your favorite. Time to grow up! Want more YKS? Wow! Sorry to hear that? May I ask why not? Oh okay, yeah, I understand. Well, with all that being said, and by the way, I could not agree with you more, these guys are real scumbags. But with all that being said, they do offer weekly bonus episodes and more at the YKS Premium Patreon page. Obviously you won't be taking advantage of their

Now how's this for a Monday afternoon treat -- the thing that I should have posted on Monday morning! Oh well, I guess our old friend Garfield really had it right! And that's all I want to say about him for now. On today's show, Mike and JF go wild and crazy on some bad inventions, and oh yeah, there are no holds barred either! Download this "shiznit" right now for our thoughts on an even weirder form of "minting coins", an upgrade to your Tesla experience (that isn't trading it in for a real car), and playing poo poo games with other adults. Pull your pants up, lock your band's 5 trombones in the van, and grab your phone...it's time for YKS! Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt. Title for this episode from Poochie D: "Just have it be whatever the fuck Mike says at about 45:47" -- you got it, pooch! For more YKS, you GOTTA head on over to the YKS Premium Patreon p

Scam alert! Scam alert! It's time for Mike and JF to don their investigative journalism hats and read the comments on a weird Kickstarter to see if someone else thinks its a scam or not. And maybe it's not, who knows. Not us, that's for sure. On today's episode we fix the entire movie industry, put fireworks likers in their place at long last, and destroy the entire oil industry. Not the really really bad one. Just the kinda bad one. So not really a huge win by us but it's only Monday so give us some time and we will deliver you another big W later in the week. All that, plus a Neighbor Insight, and much much more, only on Your Kickstarter Sucks (name in description for SEO purposes). Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.For more of this crazy nonsense we call YKS, check out the YKS Premium Patreon page, where 5 extra episodes a month, plus incredible video stylin

What if I told you...it was time to write the episode description, but you didn't want to? Would you shrink from the limelight and open another tab on the computer...or would you rise to the challenge, and write the best episode description of all time, a handful of paragraphs enshrined forever in the Episode Description Hall of Fame alongside the one that just says "Buh?" and the one with the copied synopsis from Avatar or whatever it was? Follow me down the rabbit hole and find out what your mind is truly made of...Today on the show we have a bunch of stupid projects to talk about and I think we do about 5 minutes on "poop worms". Enjoy. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Over on YKS Premium, Miketober continues...just kidding! Fuck that shit! We're sick of it! It's all over! We do have the official Squeeze Louise Halloween Mailbag dropping tomorrow, but after

Now Loading...funny ass episode description...10%...20%...25%. ERROR?: Loading not complete? Proceed anyway Y/N? YYYYYYYAlright folks it's another episode of YKS and if you're anything like me you have to be wondering...what could the next 90 or so minutes of my life be like? Let's scour the old notes here for some hints. Well it looks like we drove Goofy's Truck around for a spell and went to Knight School, then figured out what Linux distro Hunter Biden had on his laptop (think we got it wrong? drop us an email from your custom keyboard!) Plus we got a new type of alcohol that really promises to change the game, another product aiming to put the humble plunger out of a job, and what essentially adds up to a lasagna-covered pipe bomb. ERROR: Memory overload. Forgot what computers say when they're done doing computer stuff. Continue...? Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer

In a world...where a man needed every email he'd ever sent, and his friends thought he was crazy...a hero emerged...and it was the man, from before. The one with the emails...Coming soon to whatever the funniest streaming service to say would be...it's The Email Genius. On today's show, we're talking about why I'm so great, how I'm great, why I'm the best, etc. Plus Mike goes Poop Cop Mode and we listen to some Chap Hop! Oh and the projects are like, a porno guy and a shoe and a towel. Not that great but that's why we did all the other stuff. We knew it sucked! That's why we were funny this time!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Miketober continues over at YKS Premium and this week we're doing The Stuff (1985)! A mysterious new treat is sweeping the nation, and its most devoted fans find that they just can't eating it...and they don't want anything else. Who be

e.g., On this award-winning show, we dive deep into the psyches of the world's cereal killers. Does Snap make Crackle Pop? And is Tony really that grrreat after all? All this, and more, from Cereal <--- That's the suggested text for the description box of this episode, so now you can make an informed decision as to whether my descriptions are good or not. I don't have an opinion either way. I'm just sitting here doing my thing. On today's show, we've got not one but TWO top tens for a total of top twenty, a 21 beep salute for our fallen smoke alarms, and also something called Trevr Huntr, I think. Plus, Mike fucks me over on the 6-pack once again. All this, and more, from Cereal. Just kidding.Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Want more YKS? Oh golly! We're plum fresh out. NOT. Check out YKS Premium Presents: Miketober, our exclusive monthlong series over at

Monday morning...Guess it's time to pour a cup of java, head to "my office" to drop some stink off, and tune in to the best podcast known to man. And after I'm done with whatever that is, I'll be listening to YKS, the show for which these next few paragraphs should serve as the description!On today's show we're talking about the wild world of wrasslin' (with apologies to all our friends who love it), possibly renaming Green Knight to reflect how nothing happens in it (Stink Night?), and an Mike's intense love affair with the scroll wheel. Plus, we're blowing away the poopoos with compressed air, sleeping at the hospital in a pine box, and narrating a dog jumping on a fence to millions of adoring fans. It's just THAT kinda day on YKS, folks, and if you don't think that's miracle shit, then it's not for you and very little is!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Wan

Hey everyone well it's a new episode of YKS! Writing these things is fuckin' torture but we're gonna grit our teeth and get through it, okay? Just a couple more sentences. I already did the other parts and this is the last thing I'm doing before I get some lunch. I left my notes downstairs so I'm going to try to remember what we talked about instead. Ok I think there's a social media website on here for sure. And I remember the kids who were trying to do a guitar solo or something. That was pretty funny. Wow we're almost done. Okay, plus! A very frightening update on the pussy steamer from 2019. And we're done. I hope everyone enjoyed that because it took me down to like 2 hp and I need a bunch of beef jerky now. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Want more YKS? Well, I reckon the place to get it is the YKS Premium Patreon. And now is a great time to jump in, ga

Sorry antivaxxers!!! It's time to listen to an episode of YKS: another Wowmazing! show from Dingo Products. On today's show, we're talking about how damn FINE I look in black jeans, plus a bunch of other crap who cares. These jeans, though, wow! They really hug all my curves, and are buttery soft. I've been turning them inside out in the wash so they don't bleed even though honestly that doesn't make much sense to me. They get wet either way, right? If the inside of the clothes don't get wet in the washer, what the hell am I even doing? Makes no sense. But that's what it says on the tag there. Man that's sad about Norm MacDonald, huh? Okay enjoy the show. Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.Need more YKS so much you can't stand it? The place to go is YKS Premium -- now with video! We have a great slate of episodes planned for Miketober but you might as well get i

Another YKS? Zuhhh? Why don't these guys just quit while they were ahead! They were doing so great! I really love them but it makes me so mad that they won't stop doing episodes, and defeating my salty ass in the process! <---- Sadly, this is what many of our haters sound like today as we release another episode of our beloved podcast. Unfortunately we just can't help these people, as they're determined to not be happy by listening to our wonderful show! Assuming they can get over themselves, they've got some great stuff to listen to today: we've got the big toilet paper brand run down, Mike's wistful memories of his wooden car, and yes, finally, nice dogs telling jokes! So give us a Howdy Dowdy Doo and Gobbledy Gobbledy Goo, and pop the headphones in. It's another (sorry haters!) YKS!Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan. Executive Producer lola butt.This week's YKS is sponsored by Honey! W