Horror Movie Night

So a blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk into a mansion full of supposedly-dead celebrities... Wait, is that how the joke goes? It's probably funnier when Bruce Willis tells it in 1992's shoulda-been-a-Tales-From-the-Crypt-installment Death Becomes Her. This week is special because everyone pretty much agrees that this movie rules, even Adam - IT'S A MIRACLE! Come on you apes, you wanna live forever?? It's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hop in your fliptop, grab your best girl and pin her up on Lovers' Lane, because this week, the guys are going steady with 1987's Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II! Matt is the square Mary Lou is dating, Adam is the one she's hooking up with backstage at the prom, and Scott is somewhere writing songs about it all. This barely-related sequel to the Jamie Lee Curtis vehicle original has religious parents, teen pregnancy, daddy-daughter tenderness and one of the podcast's favorite topics: ghost sex. Your tux better be pressed and the corsage cooling in the fridge, because it's Horror Movie Prom Night...2! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey theater geeks, do you feel like you've been underrepresented in horror films? Do you demand to be killed off like the jocks that make your life miserable and the beautiful 27-year-old high school girls who won't give you the time of day? Then look no further than this week's pick, the sleek 2014 remake of Stage Fright! The guys are divided, as Matt and Scott were theater kids in their younger days and Adam was probably out smoking behind the school (or wherever kids go to do their tick-mutating marijuana cigarettes in Canada). There are spontaneous dance numbers, brutal murders, and some pretty obvious connections to Todd & the Book of Pure Evil. What more could you ask for? It's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You kids and your suburban problems. You know what you need? A trip to the woods to rough it a little. Nevermind the pervy locals and weed-crazed bugs, you just need a change of scenery. Who's ready to grill? The guys are discussing 1993's gooey giant bloodsucking bug flick Ticks this week, and all of the burning marijuana plants and extreme close-ups of Clint Howard push Matt, Adam and Scott to the brink of sanity. Lose your mind on another installment of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you have a crappy handheld camera and vague reason for believing in ghosts? Of course you do! Bring your lace choker and bad haircuts as we subject ourselves to 2000's The St. Francisville Experiment. Matt and Adam wonder why Scott advocated for this listener pick, and Scott spends most of the episode apologizing for it. We hope you're not scared of farts, because they're in abundance on this week's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well folks, it's time to dredge up the sins of the past with another retroactive episode of Horror Movie Night. This one takes us back to Stephen King's, er, Joe Hill's cinematically adapted (and eviscerated) Horns. Harry Potter fans died inside just about as much as we did while watching this one, and our fury is similar in scope and depth as Daniel Heathcliff's character here, who one day wakes up with hard protrusions he can't explain. Sounds a lot like every morning for the HMN guys... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, ya hosers, it's time to tighten that grip on your hockey sticks and Molsons, because the guys are traversing the wrinkles in the script of 1988's Canadian sci-fi horror romp The Brain! Ironically, Adam hates the fruit of his country's labors (well, maybe not that ironic, he hates everything), but at least Matt and Scott have some glowing praise for this low-budget, alien-filled car chase. The guys suggest crowd-funding the last $5 for The Brain's budget, so bring your loonies to Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What would you do if a brain in a jar was calling the shots? You'd open a vegetarian cafe that actually serves the ground-up flesh of your victims. This week, the guys wade through various limbs and bodily fluids in search of something worthwhile in 1987's Blood Diner. This Troma reject gets the deluxe treatment, and then the guys go their separate ways to shower in bleach. Don't order the pea soup, it's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever wondered what Mean Girls would be like if it the genders were switched, it took place in 1980 and the Mathletes are swapped for a satanic computer program? Of course you did, and for your mental troubles, we decided to discuss Evilspeak, starring the one and only Clint Howard. Get ready to compare 3 1/2 inch floppies in the shower, it's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The luck of the Irish totally snubbed Adam this week, and instead of watching 1995's evil munchkin-fest Leprechaun 3, he watched the original and then overslept. Matt and Scott snagged his missing shilling, picked up a hitchhiking magician's assistant and hit the jenkiest place on the Strip. Shitty limericks abound and the guys try their best to be witty without Adam's unique perspective on all things potato-and-booze related. In the words of Vince Vaughn - it's Horror Movie Night, baby... Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to pack up your bathing suits, beach hats and beer money, cuz we're heading to SPRING BREAK WOOO with this week's pick, 1979's cult classic Tourist Trap! We are joined by Brian Burger (of Jennifer Help Us fame) and everyone but Adam has a blast talking about screaming mannequin heads, murderous mannequin bodies and sexy mannequin singing. Let's hit the ol' swimmin' hole while its geriatric owner pervs on us, it's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey all you PUTSes (that's short for People Under the Stairs...es), no need to fight over the scraps of human flesh thrown to you by your gross incest-y captors, cuz this week we're discussing YOU! The guys get lost and moderately uncomfortable in the walls of the house Wes Craven built in the early 90s after reading the Boyz n the Hood script, but they somehow make it out to tell the tale - though they may never sell Boy Scout Cookies again. Cut out your tongue, cuz there's no talking during Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Apparently, the guys didn't get enough backwater horror with their previous discussion of Jug Face, so they decided to rewatch 1988's alien-in-the-woods-no-wait-it's-a-demon-in-the-woods creature feature Pumpkinhead! Adam yells a lot while Matt and Scott commiserate on the first-class cinematography. Grab your dirt bikes, it's time to run some kids over on Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's that time of year again - the leaves are changing, the birds are chirping, your nose is bleeding whenever your crush is nearby... Ah, love. What a wondrous thing! It fills your heart with poorly-aimed arrows and your stomach with maggoty chocolates. This week, the guys get all hot and bothered with 2000's, so fire up the hot tub and put on your bikini, cuz it's gonna get sweaty - it's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Velcum back to zee Vaxverk! Get rebirthed and listen to the guys discuss the insanity of Waxwork II: Lost in Time, replete with Bruce Campbell's torso, the entire film's budget blown on the Alien scenes, My Cousin Vinny's Reanimated Hand, and the infamous Waxwork rap. Time Warriors unite, it's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We hope you're hungry, because this week we're chewing scene after scene with Billy Zane in 1995's horror comedy (?) Tales From the Crypt: Demon Knight! Adam picked this one on a friend's suggestion, and now has one less friend; Matt and Scott do their best William Sadler impressions, and more disturbing light is shed on Scott's morning habits. Grab your flask of Jesus blood, it's time for another Horror Movie (Demon) Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We hope your full metal jacket is polished and ready, because this week, we dive into the stupidest-looking jungle behind our dead aunt's pool to discuss 1986's HOUSE! There are used Hellraiser props, flying garden tools, babysitting hijinks and a couple dudes with questionable employment decisions to talk about. Believe it or not, it's another episode of Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The end of the world won't come in the form of Rick Moranis, but actually a guy in a sparkly trenchcoat sporting extreme coke nails and a penchant for underaged girls. Which is funny, because watching 1989's Monster High would make even the biggest horror fanatic wish for planetary destruction, just so they wouldn't have to finish it. Lucky for you, we watched it and are here as a cautionary tale. Bring your rolling papers for the monstrous weed plant and your Apple II to replace your dead pal's head, we're playing the Basketball Game of the Millennium on this week's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Picture this: you and your best bro (and the rich geek you talked into driving) are hanging out in a seedy strip club, trying to pick up a lady of the night to take back to the frat house for a party. Through the sea of writhing bodies, stale booze and impermeable shame, you see Grace Jones do the most inhuman, bloodless interpretive dance on stage. You must have her. Forget the hot girl you kissed in junior high! Grace Jones or GTFO! This is the plot of 1986's horror comedy Vamp, so turn off your brains and let the body fluids flow as the guys discuss vampire mythos, 80s racial stereotypes and poorly-pronounced stripper names - it's Horror Movie Night! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you ready to relive the murders of everything you love? You are? Well then you're ready to give a long, hard listen to our somewhat spoiler-free discussion of 2015's killer camp homage flick "The Final Girls!" What started as a short episode (due to the aforementioned lack of spoilers) took more turns into strange territory than a couple of horny counselors looking to bump uglies. Leave your smartphone at home, so as to not confuse the 80s characters, cuz we're heading to Camp Bloodbath on this episode of Horror Movie Night! Movie Spoilers from 17:15 - 20:50 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices