Liars' League (london)

We welcome in 2016 with our special Clean & Dirty Valentine's event, featuring dirty dictionaries and OCD romance, marriage inspectors, vengeful cleaners, sex in IKEA, and at least two things to do with Marigold gloves. CLEAN & DIRTY WINNING STORIES (in order of reading) Coming Clean by Sherry Morris *NEW AUTHOR*, read by Lionel Laurent Zoe versus Zita by Michael Button *NEW AUTHOR*, read by Louisa Gummer The Marriage Inspector by Niall Boyce, read by Greg Page INTERVAL & BOOK QUIZ Gloves by Elisabeth Simon *NEW AUTHOR*, read by Katy Darby Saving Face by Emma O'Brien *NEW AUTHOR*, read by Kim Scopes Selfie Stick by Mike Clarke, read by Lois Tucker

The five winning stories from our National Gallery competition for short stories inspired by paintings. Featuring models, virgins, Duchesses, conquerors and tigers - to name but a few ... WINNING STORIES RUNNING ORDER Authenticity and the Madonna by Ingrid Jendrzejewski, read by Sarah Feathers, inspired by Madonna with the Iris, workshop of Albrecht Durer Stilleven by Gregory Jackson, read by David Mildon, inspired by Still Life with Pewter Vessels and Crab by Willem Claeszoon Heda The Lost Species by Jenny Ramsay, read by Miranda Harrison, inspired by Surprised! by Henri Rousseau Desperately Seeking Hephaestion by Elizabeth Hopkinson, read by Nicholas Delvalle, inspired by The Family of Darius before Alexander by Paolo Veronese, The Ugly Duchess by Fiona Salter, read by Claire Lacey, inspired by An Old Woman (The Ugly Duchess) by Quinten Massys

Six stories of creativity & insanity: naked artists & obsessive scientists, Apple "geniuses" & prog-rock guitarists, ingenues & surrealists, crazy love & beautiful misfits ... WINNING STORIES - RUNNING ORDER Last Night by Peter Higgins, read by Jim Cogan I Married a Lunatic by Thomas Kearnes, read by David Mildon 1% Inspiration by Brigid Mahony, read by Grace Cookey-Gam & Tim Larkfield INTERVAL The Persistence of Mnemosyne by Michael Skansgaard, read by Gabriel Moreno The Schoendecker Archive by Joel Blackledge, read by Gloria Sanders The Island of Kevin Quickfingers by Alan Graham, read by Tony Bell

It's the season of holiday heaven (or hell), so our June event was a travel special, featuring trains (model and life-size), planes, cars, ships, bikes, trucks and even buses, as well as stolen identities, missed flights, sinister AA men and - what else? - the end of the world as we know it ... WINNING STORIES for PLANES, TRAINS & AUTOMOBILES The Connection by Ingrid Jendrzejewski, read by Sarah Feathers A Model World by Owen Booth, read by Jim Cogan The Anonymity of Buses by Robert Paul Weston, *NEW AUTHOR*, read by Silas Hawkins INTERVAL & BOOK QUIZ Arkham Roadside Assistance by Gregory Adams, read by Katy Darby Greenlanders by Cherry Potts, read by Tim Aldrich 500 Miles by Liam Hogan, read by Max Berendt

Enjoy explosions, escapes, killer gum, beastly satire, Shakespeare, and murders which are almost certainly sexually motivated in our showbiz spectacular! PLAYLIST: One Beautiful Day by Elizabeth Stott, read by Carrie Cohen Proving Grounds by Sunny Teich, read by Gloria Sanders Portrait of the Artist as a Young Pig by Bernard O'Keeffe, read by Nicky Diss INTERVAL & BOOK QUIZ Wet Patch & the Wad by David Turnbull, read by Greg Page The Mad Scene by Tom Heaton, read by Sarah Feathers Trutch! or Chekhov's Woman by Dan Timms, read by Nick Delvalle

Ten stories of one hundred or one thousand words each to celebrate our hundredth event; featuring life, death, sex, money, darts, clocks, supercomputers, magical curses, balding, and the difference between Woody Allen and Woody Harrelson. PLAYLIST: (100) One Hundred Years by Joanne L. M. Williams, read by Lois Tucker (1000) Ripples by Jason Jackson, read by Greg Page (100) Uncle Phil by Tom McColl, read by Nicholas Delvallé (1000) Candle by Liam Hogan, read by Sarah Feathers (100) Impact by Katy Darby, read by Judith Quin (1000) Baldhead by Sean Preston, read by Adam Diggle INTERVAL & INFAMOUS BOOK QUIZ (100) Life. Sentence. by Gordon Williams, read by Carrie Cohen. (1000) One Thousand Rupees by Abigail Lee, read by Nicholas Delvallé (100) Fifteen by Joanne L. M. Williams, read by Miranda Harrison (1000) Asking Friends by Guy Russell, read by Gloria Sanders

A criminally good line-up of fiction, featuring disputed virginity and disgraced royalty, absconding prisoners, eager-to-please executioners, a taste of post-apocalyptic justice, and the thoughts of an actual fly on the wall. JUSTICE & MERCY WINNING STORIES (in order of performance) Crimes of Passion by Michael Skansgaard *NEW AUTHOR* read by Silas Hawkins Judgement Day by James Smyth read by Miranda Harrison Jailbreak by Steve Moran *NEW AUTHOR* read by Lin Sagovsky Mercy Road by Liam Hogan read by Jim Cogan Rated by Matthew Harrison *NEW AUTHOR* read by Carrie Cohen The H-Meister Gets Hitched by Quintin Forrest read by Alex Woodhall

Six stories, no holds barred ... Yes, this Christmas the League can boast all the seasonal classics: angelic visitations, magic toyshops, haunted jumpers, hookers in antlers, psychotic twins and vehicular manslaughter, all sprinkled with the joy and horror of festive family fun! KITH & KIN WINNING STORIES in playing order ... The Old Toyshop by Anne Neumann (read by Clareine Cronin) A Flawless Campaign by James English *NEW AUTHOR* (read by Silas Hawkins) Yule Never Walk Alone by Jim Cogan (read by Carrie Cohen & Louisa Gummer) INTERVAL & BOOK QUIZ A Time of Gifts by Elizabeth Stott *NEW AUTHOR* (read by Clive Greenwood) Yule Never Walk Alone by Jim Cogan (read by Carrie Cohen & Louisa Gummer) Christmas Presence by Alan Graham (read by Max Berendt) MVP AWARDS!

Our five fantastical fictions feature impossible meetings, sexy scientists, playable dreams, mermaid strippers (naturally), Prince Harry on drugs (obviously) and the moon on toast. STORIES: A Very Important Meeting by Jon Stubbington *NEW AUTHOR*, read by David Mildon Moonpeel by Anton Rose *NEW AUTHOR* read by Paul Clarke Research Failure by Alan Graham, read by Miranda Harrison The Strange and Epic Saga of Mermaid Strippers, Disaster, Salvation, Gold, Capsizing, Fire, Hiccups, Mutiny, Shipwreck, A Cult, Prison, Escape, and Mermaid Strippers Again by Peter Saul, read by Gloria Sanders The Mad Prince's Dinner Party by Quintin Forrest, read by Alex Woodhall

The grand finale of our haunting Hallowe'en special, featuring haunted toys, werewolves and little vampires. 1. The Magic Slate by Pat Black (as first seen on EmeraldStreet.com) read by Lois Tucker 2. Beasts of London by Dan Coxon *NEW AUTHOR* read by Lionel Laurent *NEW ACTOR* 3. Mother's Milk by J.A. Hopper *NEW AUTHOR* read by Liz Bower

The first half of our haunting Hallowe'en special, featuring ghosts, jungle monsters and sentient zombies. 1. The Hotel Entrance by Brindley Hallam Dennis, read by Silas Hawkins 2. Kalimantan by Lisa Beyt *NEW AUTHOR* read by Nicky Newman 3. Locked In by Liam Hogan, read by Carrie Cohen

Five cryptic tales featuring escapologists, conquistadors, thieves, hard-drinking "gentlemen's retreats" and hipster sex parties - on day release just for you! LOCK & KEY STORIES Lightfingers Morgan by Charles Whitting *NEW AUTHOR*, read by Will Goodhand Key Party by Sarah McAllister *NEW AUTHOR*, read by Louisa Gummer The Fantastic Fritz by Nigel Robinson, read by Greg Page The Consular Agent by Phil Berry, read by Andrew Baguley The Baggage Handlers by Jim Cogan, read by Ray Newe

A transfusion of fresh fiction, featuring organ couriers, school bullies, Hollywood stunts, Government-sponsored witches, car crashes, and a man waking from an eight-year coma. ACCIDENT & EMERGENCY STORIES His Shane McKenna Voice by Tom Ryan, read by Silas Hawkins Problem Child by Phil Berry, read by Tony Bell Miscellaneous, Spooky, Weird by Liam Hogan, read by Carrie Cohen Fault Lines by Jennifer Steil *NEW AUTHOR* read by Louisa Gummer Comma Coma by Will Adam *NEW AUTHOR* read by Adam Diggle Fool's Leap by Alan Graham, read by David Mildon

"You find yourself in a low tavern, surrounded by all manner of disreputable, strangely-dressed cityfolk sweating profusely as they order tankards of the head-spinning local ale. Suddenly a thin, intense-looking man strides on stage and cries "WELCOME to Liars' League!" And your breathtaking quest begins ..." On your journey, you will encounter Welsh chimaeras, monster-haunted labyrinths, well-endowed Amazonian swordswomen, feisty princesses and probably the scariest literary dragon since Smaug. Hang on to your polyhedral dice, brave adventurer - it's going to be quite a ride.

Featuring dragons, armed robbers, kidnapping grannies, estranged mothers, fertility clinics and a divorce meeting at the Little Chef. STORIES: - Destiny's Children by Rosalind Stopps read by Carrie Cohen - Mei Ling's Story by Anna Giokas *NEW AUTHOR* read by Rebecca Yeo - Bulletproof Papoose by Liam Hogan read by Clive Greenwood - Breakfast on the Motorway by Andrew McDonnell *NEW AUTHOR* - Wandering Eye by Phil Berry *NEW AUTHOR* read by Sophie Morris-Sheppard - How to Change your Dragon by Francine Castile *NEW AUTHOR* read by Kim Scopes Our special Parent & Child night was held on Tuesday June 23 at the Peckham Pelican to raise awareness and cash for The CATS Foundation, a charity funding research into the devastating genetic childhood diseases Tay-Sachs & Sandhoff.

Five extracts of newly-translated work by rising and established authors from Germany, Poland, Lithuania, Slovenia and the Czech Republic. These wide-ranging pieces feature witches, war photographers, smugglers, New York mistresses and comic book artists, bringing new flavours of European fiction from all across the continent. The Near & Far event was presented as part of European Literature Night VII, 13 May – 9 June 2015, www.europeanliteraturenight.co.uk, organised in partnership with EUNIC, Czech Centre, Goethe Institut, Lithuanian Culture Institute, Embassy of the Republic of Lithuania, Polish Cultural Institute and Republic of Slovenia Embassy in London.

Six stories of human furniture, sadistic gym instructors, ruthless politicians, sentient puppets, TV samurai, vengeful genies and, naturally, a lesbian take on Jeeves & Wooster. MASTER & SERVANT ORDER OF SERVICE Rhuar Dean, WORK OUT *LL debut* - read by Alex Woodhall Lisa Stout, SLAVE TO THE BOTTLE - read by Susan Moisan Gotham Mamik, SAMURAI SAM *LL debut* - read by Kevin Shen (in his LL acting debut) Jonathan Pinnock, author of VENTRILOQUISM FOR DUMMIES - read by Tony Bell Sunny Teich, FOOTSTOOL *LL debut* - read by Beverley Longhurst Alan Graham, TARTS AREN'T GENTLEMEN - read by Helen Belbin (in her LL acting debut)

Our eighth birthday event features alien encounters, draconian fathers, awkward teenagers, dead writers and sexual experimentation, but oddly, no legal stories. Probably for the best ... TRIAL & ERROR STORIES Skimming the Surface by Sarah Evans *NEW AUTHOR*, read by Patsy Prince The Biographers by Simone Haysom *NEW AUTHOR*, read by Louisa Gummer 33,333rd Time Lucky by Jim Cogan, read by Paul Clarke INTERVAL & BOOK QUIZ Calling Out by Jennifer Rickard, read by Paul Case Best of 20 by Simon Barker, read by Nicky Diss

This month's four winning stories feature Polish pick-up artists, financial cruelty, Deptford dockers, people jumping off buildings, Japanese translators and really a LOT of swearing. (Fly Like a Dolphin is definitely NSFW). WINNING STORIES Black Cod by Gregory Jackson, read by Gloria Sanders The Chip on your Shoulder by Imogen Hermes Gowar *NEW AUTHOR*, read by Lois Tucker *NEW ACTOR* Fly Like a Dolphin by Rob Passmore *NEW AUTHOR*, read by Max Berendt BONUS STORIES (PODCAST ONLY) Button B by Niall Boyce, read by Greg Page Your Next Bestseller: "A Collateralised Debt Obligation Too Far" by J.P.E. Bucket by Kassalina Boto, read by Peter Noble The Project by Anna Mazzola, read by Michael Lyle NB: The Wallet (RADIO 4 CHOICE) by Joshan Esfandiari Martin, read by David Mildon is excluded from podcast until after BBC broadcast in April.

From black magic to sexual electricity via seal spirits, Satanists, cads, tarts and prisoners, we have a darkly desirable selection of stories for the month of love. Featuring fiction by David McGrath*, Jim Cogan, Lisa Stout, Geoffrey Heptonstall, Alan Graham and Arike Oke with readings by David McGrath, Greg Page, David Mildon, Paul Clarke, Tony Bell & Eilidh Nairn (*after Summer 2015)