Baconsale: Hickory-smoked Pop Culture

Hey There Delilah, it’s time for Baconsale to Crank That bracket of 2000s songs from the Around the World (La La La La La) and declare an ultimate winner! As we’re Ridin’ along, no band or artist is Bulletproof, because the one-hit wonder police are here to Shake It up a bit. When some music match-ups Collide, it’s a bit of a Paralyzer for Kent, Joel, and Zack. Nevertheless, The Boys of Summer will press forward and make the difficult decisions as they comb through A Thousand Miles of random facts. And of course, as is to be expected, things get a little Crazy. Go on. Go on. Leave me Breathless by pressing play. And you can download your own advanced 2000s one-hit wonder at Baconsale.com.

Who Let the Dogs Out? Well, that’s exactly what we’re going to try to figure out Right Now. On this episode of Baconsale, we’re talking about one-hit wonders of the 2000s. Everytime We Touch one of these music tournaments, people get a little Headstrong and say we made them have a Bad Day. Nevertheless, we’re going to advance one round on our bracket this time, and after a few Days Go By, we’ll do another episode where we’ll determine which song wins All or Nothing. Wherever You Will Go, Crush that play button, Butterfly! Download our official 2000s one-hit wonder bracket at Baconsale.com.

It was a dark and stormy night, and Kent, Joel, and Jacob are hunkered down in the Baconcave, ready to bring you horrifying true crime stories to end this Halloween season. Beware, the tales we share may be a bit too intense for children, but we’ll still try to keep things as family friendly as we can…while discussing murder. Along the way, [INSERT RUNNING GAGS FROM THE EPISODE] Press play to [INSERT INSIDE JOKE] [SCHEDULED TO PUBLISH ON 10/26]

Two years after The Haunting of Hill House terrified Kent and Joel, Netflix has released the second story in this eerie anthology, The Haunting of Bly Manor. But will this sequel series be as scary as we supposed? We’ll keep the first part of this review spoiler-free, so even if you haven’t seen it yet, you can still listen to this BaconBit. After that, we’ll discuss all nine episodes and give our opinions on the story, the characters, and the way the story is told. It’s you. It’s me. It’s Baconsale. Press play.

Attention, earthlings! You are not alone in this universe. Baconsale is here to talk to you about aliens, visitors from another planet, invaders from outer space, little green men, Greys, Reptilians, Nordics, or whatever else you want to call them. After briefly sharing their personal beliefs and stories about extraterrestrial encounters, Kent, Joel, and Zack are going to discuss the history of UFO sightings and alien abductions. We’re also going to zap through as many alien invasion movies as we possibly can, giving the good ones our stamp of approval. The truth is out there. Now, press play before the government can cover up this episode. And keep watching the skies!

On this episode of Baconsale, we’re making The Descent into horror once again with a new Decade Dance. This time, our Final Destination is a list of the ten best scary movies released between 2000 and 2009, brought to you by Shaun of the Dead. And as we go Behind the Mask on these freaky flicks, we see Signs that Zack has actually seen (Saw?) one or two of the picks on our lists, but not most of The Others. And please don’t hold a Grudge that Joel forgets about a heavy hitter in the horror game. He’s still kicking himself that he Mist (missed?) that one. Don’t wait seven days, press play now!

Joel’s a big fan of scary movies, and he wants his children to appreciate them, as well, so he’s created a four-phase training program to introduce his offspring to the horror genre. It’s not just for kids, though. This evolving spreadsheet of 80 frightening films could be for anyone who wants to dip their toes into the spooky swimming pool. Kent was thrown into the deep end as a kid and has his opinions about the flicks that Joel picked, while Zack is a horror novice who isn’t afraid of clowns, however he’s terrified of lady Gremlins. Press play to be another one of Joel’s guinea pigs in this Baconsale classroom of terror! And visit Baconsale.com to see the spreadsheet we discuss in this episode.

Cryptids are animals whose existence has not yet been proven. And it’s time for Baconsale to put some of these mythical creatures into hypothetical fights where only one of them will be left standing. Our friend Nicole, a cryptid enthusiast, is here to teach us about the folklore behind each contender and help decide who would win in such epic matchups as Bigfoot vs. The Flatwoods Monster, the Loch Ness Monster vs. the Bear Lake Monster, the Jersey Devil vs. the Dover Demon and, of course, Manananggal vs. Gef the Talking Mongoose. Press play to hear some horrible pronunciations during our most random tournament yet! And download your own Cryptid Bracket at Baconsale.com!

If you were able to pick a soundtrack to represent various times in your life, which songs would you pick? That’s the question we’re answering on this episode of Baconsale. Kent, Joel, Zack, and Jacob are all going to select music for things like their high school experience, their dating lives, their earliest childhood memories, and even their farewell songs. Jacob makes some odd choices, Joel was a little girl crazy, Kent sews his own pants, and even though Zack is the youngest, he tends to pick the oldest tunes. Press play to play the mamba with Marconi!

Jacob has taken a break from his busy schedule and his chalupas to join us in the Baconcave with the ultimate Jacob Twist: he’s stepping down as a regular host of Baconsale. This news is a little sad, yes, but it’s also kind of expected, right? It’s not all melancholy and infinite sadness, though. Jacob is going to give his skewed version of the history of Baconsale, Joel and Kent are going to give some of their favorite Jacob moments, and there’s an official passing of the torch ceremony from Jacob to Zack, where they almost burn down the place. It’s not goodbye, he’ll still return occasionally, but press play to hear it all straight from Jacob’s mouth.

The last time Mats was here, he had us watch a bunch of TV shows he enjoyed. Now it’s time for Baconsale to turn the tables on him. Kent and Joel have selected ten films for Mats to watch. These are not all best picture winners, these aren’t the highest-grossing films of all time, they may not even be our personal favorites, but we have chosen them because of their initial impact and the long-lasting influence they’ve had on pop culture. They are, in chronological order: The Wizard of Oz (1939), Psycho (1960), The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966), Jaws (1975), Rocky (1976), Star Wars (1977), Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981), Ghostbusters (1984), Jurassic Park (1993), and The Matrix (1999). Mats had only seen one of these movies beforehand and all of them were released before he was born, so press play to hear his fresh takes, unique insights, and his occasionally incorrect opinions (according to us).

Let’s get down to business to discuss Mulan. Disney had made another live-action remake of a 90s animated classic and decided to make this one a little more realistic. Or did they? Kent and Joel have watched the movie and are ready to share their opinions. We keep things spoiler-free for the first part of this BaconBit, but after that we’ll let you know what they kept, what they cut out, and if this version of the story works. We’ll also tell you whether or not it’s worth paying the extra $30 to watch this early on Disney Plus. Be a man (or a woman) and press play to listen to this BaconBit!

It's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you. And Christopher Nolan has done some very good films. Therefore, it’s finally time for Kent to go full fanboy as we discuss his favorite director’s movies and rank them from eleven to one. Are you watching closely? Because along the way, we point out any and all Michael Caine appearances with poorly done impersonations, Zack expresses some serious “McConaughate,” and Joel continuously reminds you that Nolan has directed Following, Memento, Insomnia, Batman Begins, The Prestige, The Dark Knight, Inception, The Dark Knight Rises, Interstellar, Dunkirk, and Tenet. Why so serious? Stop waiting for a train, a train that will take you far away, and press play to enter the fifth dimension of Baconsale.

Whoa! Did Baconsale just combine two trippy time travel movies into one BaconBit? Yes way, dude! First, we’re going to review the third installment in the Bill & Ted universe, Bill & Ted Face the Music, a reboot long awaited by some. But will it be a most excellent return, or will it be totally bogus? We will also be discussing Christopher Nolan’s latest film, Tenet, a movie that will test the limits of your brain your of limits the test will that movie. Join us for a journey through time and space by pressing play! And don’t worry, we won’t give any spoilers during the first part of this BaconBit.

Kent and Joel have been acquaintances for a long time (8 years & one-and-a-half months, to be precise), but how well do they really know each other? Well, their podcasting relationship is going to be put to the test during The Podlywed Game! Woo-boo! Zack has created a series of questions with help from you, the listener, that are designed to cause lots of warm fuzzies and plenty of cold pricklies between the co-hosts of Baconsale. You’re going to learn more than you wanted to know about their personal lives, including driving records, eating habits, and kissing histories. Plus, since the winner of this self-indulgent episode gets to feed their family, the stakes (steaks?) have never been higher. Press play to start counting the number of bruises on Kent’s and Joel’s egos!

Believe it or not, we’re talking on air about the theme songs you hear on the TV! We had so much fun discussing the greatest music on television last time, that we’ve decided to do it again, and, much to Kent’s dismay, we can’t use any songs that any of us used on the last show. On this episode of Baconsale, we’re picking answers for such categories as Best Theme of The Past Decade, Doesn’t Fit the Show, Gets You Pumped Up, and Most Annoying. There are some strangely dark turns along the way (poor Barney), and Zack gets a few votes of no confidence, but there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls, ‘cause all we see is a tower of dreams, and real love burstin' out of every seam! Put down that tossed salad and those scrambled eggs and press play!

Kids watch the darndest things, and the hosts of Baconsale were once children with questionable tastes in movies. Therefore, on this episode, Kent, Joel, and Zack are all bringing a lesser-known childhood favorite to the table for the others to critique. We even got Jacob to submit a film for this discussion. Our choices are kind of strange—in fact, you may not have heard of some of these direct-to-video picks—but we’ll see if they still hold up decades after they were released. Press play to hear which features were filmed for your family!

Look, we’re not perfect here at Baconsale. And despite many listener believing that we’ve watched every movie and TV series ever, it’s simply not true. So on this episode, we’re acknowledging the gaps in our pop culture knowledge and admitting to popular films and television shows that we have not seen. This isn’t easy for us, and these painful confessions may be shocking for some. However, we’re going to do our best to be sensitive to one another’s vulnerability…for the first few minutes. Press play to hear which classic horror movie Kent hasn’t experimented with, a major martial arts blind spot for Joel, and whether or not Zack will go to prison for one of his omissions.

We couldn’t fit all of these morning beverages into our breakfast food tiering show, so we decided to take another ridiculous dive into liquid refreshment and rank popular drink choices such as orange juice, milk, coffee, energy drinks, hot chocolate, tomato juice, and more on this BaconBit. As we do so, we learn that grapefruit juice can kill you, everything seems to make Zack sick, and Kent cheats…or maybe he’s just bad at math. Press play to enjoy a freshly-squeezed cup of Baconsale!

Breakfast. It’s the most important meal of the day. But let’s face it, some breakfast meals are more important than others. So, on this episode of Baconsale, we’re ranking popular morning dishes, from bacon and the incredible, edible egg to fruit and fancy yogurt. We’ll also talk about the history of these dishes, which may include some ridiculous attempts at foreign accents. Joel has a deep love for most breakfast foods (much like Ron Swanson), Zack is fond of gruel and thinks things just taste better in New York, while Kent has a strange dedication to Pop Tarts and other bachelor cuisine. Wake up, pop a Dutch baby in the oven, and press play to join the breakfast party!