Psychology Of Eating

It’s no surprise that many people around the world would like to lose weight. In fact, between 2017 and 2021, 55% of all Americans have expressed the desire for weight loss. And unfortunately, many people who are single and would like to find love in their life are instead putting it off until they’re at their desired weight.  That’s the case for 41-year old Shawnna, our guest in this episode of the podcast.  Shawnna would like to lose about 50 pounds, and find a more peaceful relationship with food – one where she’s not constantly thinking about what, when, and how much to eat. As she shares, she’s tired of feeling like food and her weight is holding her back from following her dreams, including finding a significant other.  But despite her best efforts, Shawnna has struggled over the last decade to not see her weight as one of the most important aspects of life to overcome.   She’s tried every approach she knows to lose weight. And she’s tried everything to try to forget about her weight, move on, and have

In this episode of The Psychology of Eating Podcast, we’re going to take a look at why we need to get past the label of ‘body dysmorphia’ – a medical term – and instead look to understand why body dysmorphia is actually present. And to do that, we must explore our personal story from childhood to adulthood – because our history contains the clues for where this pattern developed in the first place. The reality is, many of us have dysmorphic tendencies. Meaning, we see our body differently than it actually is – and not in a good way. That’s the case for Rory, 62, who reports struggling with body dysmorphia since childhood. As he shares with Marc David, he’s never had a problem controlling what he eats. He’s been able to maintain his body fat at 8-10% consistently since his 20s through extreme sports and rigid dieting.  But none of his efforts ever feel like enough. Rory’s body hate runs so deep that he avoids mirrors and glass windows so he doesn’t see his reflection. In his mind, he wishes he had the body of

We all have different reasons for wanting to lose weight: Feeling lighter  Being healthier Fitting into your “skinny” clothes Or sometimes, just feeling more confident… And sometimes, there are hidden reasons for wanting to lose weight that we don’t even realize we have. For Nataliya, 46, weight loss has been a lifelong journey. Nataliya wants to be more confident in her body, and to feel lighter. She jokes that her goal is to feel “like a squirrel” and be able to jump from branch to branch. But what she doesn’t quite realize is that her desire to feel lighter is driven by a part of her that’s thinking some “heavy thoughts.” And as Marc David explains, those heavy thoughts are all about her resistance to something that so many of us would like to avoid: ===> Aging.  Even though she is youthful, has a young child, a great marriage, and is in good health, Nataliya is starting to feel older – and her unwanted weight is just one more reminder of the aging process. She finds herself often longing for the body sh

The desire to lose weight unites so many people around the world. And while it may be a common global phenomenon … what’s not frequently recognized is how unique all of our weight loss journeys turn out to be. The truth is, if we want to lose weight and keep it off, we need to intimately understand our life story and how it affects our journey with weight. In this episode of The Psychology of Eating Podcast, you’ll meet Wendy, 57. She’s been on a strugglesome journey to lose weight. And one thing that particularly stands out in Wendy’s life story is the prominent role a particular archetype has been playing all these years: Her Inner Child. Each and every one of us has an “inner child” – which you can think of as an archetype – or “voice” or “personality” that shows up in different parts of our life. Here are some descriptions of the child within us: Our Inner Child wants immediate gratification. It loves pleasure and fun. It’s a part of us that’s very innocent and naive. Notably, the Inner Child does

In this episode, Marc David works with Richard, 72, who is living in a constant state of vigilance when it comes to his weight and health.  Like so many of us, Richard has developed a belief that his diet must be perfect in order to maintain his health, avoid illness, and keep weight off. And what happens if he can’t maintain the perfect diet? The moment Richard gains a pound, he imagines that he’s just around the corner from a heart attack. He believes that if he doesn’t eat 100% perfectly all the time and at every meal, then his family history of arteriosclerosis will instantly catch up to him. On top of that, Richard has an intense fear of gaining weight … having bounced back and forth between extreme weight gains and losses starting in his early twenties. He acknowledges that his lifelong challenges with weight were born from his early struggles with dyslexia, learning disabilities, and childhood feelings of isolation.  So even though Richard is a mature, successful and healthy 72-year old man, he simply

When it comes to weight loss, so many of us feel that we need to restrict our food, punish the body with exercise, and be in a constant state of worry. We expect our weight loss journey to be an ongoing battle where we can never truly relax and live. But there’s a much better way. In this episode, Marc David works with guest podcast client David, and challenges the belief that weight and health goals have to be difficult. At age 74, David wants to lose weight and eat healthy, but he’s tired of all the hard work.  He knows what he wants, but he’s confused about how to get there.  David would like to enjoy food and not live in a state of restriction, but at the same time, he wishes he could be 40 pounds lighter. Fed up by the cycle of working hard to lose weight, and then gaining it right back, David wonders:  “Can’t I just be me? When do I get to just live my life?” Listen in as they explore the power of cultivating a more natural and easy relationship with food and body. Instead of punishing the body into wei

So many of us are trying to lose weight.  We can put all of our energy, our heart and soul, into fulfilling what seems like a simple desire - just lose a bunch of body fat. When our efforts aren’t working though, things can get complicated. We can become a bit anxious, and adopt the kind of beliefs that are intended to motivate us, but actually hold us back. These beliefs can include:  I’m not good enough as I am I am not lovable Something is wrong with Once I lose the weight, then and only then can I finally be happy If I just work harder, then the weight will come off When we think such thoughts, oddly enough, the body itself does not feel safe.  And when the body doesn’t feel safe, our physiology tends to hold onto weight. That’s the dilemma Marc David helps our guest coaching client Carrie untangle in this episode. After a recent weight loss, Carrie feels conflicted about the praise and positive comments she receives from the people around her. Far from feeling validated by the feedback, it se

When it comes to weight, many people can identify with the concept of “weight extremism” – otherwise known as yo-yo dieting.  We’re “all in” with our health commitments, whether that’s daily exercise, a healthy diet, getting to bed early every night. We analyze, assess – and maybe even obsess about – every little morsel of food we put into our mouth. And then, well – life happens. Tragedy happens. Stress happens.  Our habits start to unravel, and before we know it: our healthy lifestyle is kaput. We’re secret-eating in the dark and binge eating when we think no one is looking.  The weight starts to creep back up, and before we know it, our weight has swung widely to the other side of the spectrum.  And every bite of food is accompanied by terrible, self-attacking thoughts like, “I’m so disgusting. I can’t believe I’m doing this again, I can’t stand who I’ve become.”   As Marc David explores in this episode, the extremist mentality can go way beyond the realms of food and body.  But in every case, our extremis

Food is so much more than just fuel for our bodies. It’s also a powerful connector.  Food brings us together with family and friends, and allows us to express and receive love and appreciation, spark new relationships, create memories, discover and care for the world around us, and even navigate and explore our inner emotional and spiritual landscape. Because food helps us feel connected, we may also reach for it in moments of disconnection, distress, isolation, and loneliness. We can turn to it for comfort, or for a sense of familiarity and reassurance. And that’s because of a foundational, biochemical truth for every human being on this planet:  When we eat food, we feel better.  As Marc David unpacks in this episode, using food to self-soothe and comfort ourselves isn’t all bad. In fact, the conscious use of food to feel better can actually be beneficial. Fifty-nine year old guest coaching client, Debra, endured the death of her late husband several years ago – and now finds herself again grieving the loss

Our culture is quick to praise dramatic weight loss. But it rarely acknowledges the heaviness that so often lingers afterward – the fear of gaining it all back. When we’re afraid of being overweight, it’s easy to see food as the enemy. We’ll often try to skip meals and deny our appetite. And it seems to make sense … After all, it’s food that makes us gain weight, right?  The challenge is, when we fear or blame food – or try to repress our biological need for nourishment, we can develop other unwanted eating habits like “sneak eating” or binge eating. Which often leads us to spiraling into even more fear about our weight. That’s what we explore in this episode of The Psychology of Eating Podcast, where Marc David finds our guest coaching client Tamara at a critical crossroads. Tamara’s journey with weight began at age 10, when she was bullied for being heavy as a child. Through a series of lifestyle changes, Tamara, 48, has lost nearly 270 pounds – and yet, Tamara is still haunted by her weight. With 10 more p

When we’re facing a chronic health challenge, one of the great ways to help ourselves is to turn to food and diet. So many of us have had great success when using the “food as medicine” approach. But what happens when our healing diet routine feels too restrictive?  And how do we reconcile our need to avoid certain foods with our natural desire for freedom and exploration? These are just some of the questions Cecili’s hopes to unpack as Marc’s guest on this episode. Cecili is a nutritionist who’s spent more than a decade self-treating her own inflammatory bowel disease. After rejecting conventional treatments, Cecili embraced a food-as-medicine approach which eliminated her symptoms within months.  Now, Cecili seeks support in one area that continues to confound her – fear and anxiety around introducing new foods into her diet, and their potential for causing unwanted symptoms.  Follow along as Marc supports Cecili to reframe her journey, from a focus on fear and anxiety to the development of self-trust.  “As

When it comes to food and weight, many of us have learned to treat our bodies as a kind of machine.  We know what our Body Mass Index (BMI) “should” be, and we strive to stay within it. We may severely restrict our caloric intake, increase our weekly exercise to the point of exhaustion, or take other extreme measures to lose weight. And here’s the thing: these efforts often work, but the cost can be huge. At one point or another, most of us who pursue weight loss in this way end up feeling starved for pleasure and enjoyment in life. That’s the world that Jacques, 55, has been inhabiting since childhood. As a rabbi, Jacques counsels members of his community and helps them find wisdom in their challenges and tribulations.  But when it comes to his personal relationship with food, Jacques is struggling to let go of what he refers to as his “obsession with food.”  Jacques has tried so many things to lose weight, such as addressing his gut microbiome, taking hCG (Human Chorionic Gonadotropin) for weight loss, and

For so many of us, numbers hold power. Whether it’s our bank account, the calories on our plate, or our final exam score, we give tremendous meaning to numbers. But there’s one number we often give the greatest meaning of all – and that’s our weight. Most of us have a “number” in mind for what we “should” weigh, and we tend to believe in it wholeheartedly. We can place almost mystical significance on that figure, believing that the world – our world – will be so much different when we finally achieve it. In this episode, we meet 52-year old Reni from Australia, who has been dieting since her 20s. At one point, she *almost* reached her weight loss goal of 55 kilos, but missed it by 1 kilo.  As Marc David explores with Reni, that 1 extra kilo held significance for her far beyond the weight itself. Reni holds the common belief that she’ll feel more confident about herself once she loses the weight. And that extra confidence boost could be just the thing she needs to get out of a job that’s draining her soul, and

One thing we learn very early in our journey with food and body is that everyone’s got an opinion. We find no shortage of health and nutrition experts offering a variety of strong, and often conflicting, perspectives too. About healthy eating. About the ideal weight and body shape. About what we’re doing wrong. “But who is right? Will it work for me? What if it doesn’t?” And so we try everything – only to end up feeling overwhelmed, stuck, defeated, and lost. That’s where we meet today’s podcast guest. Hara is an accomplished 55-year-old business woman who enjoys confidence in all areas of her life – except in her relationship with food. Hara first started dieting at age 12 and has felt caught for decades in an unending cycle of perfectionism and restriction, followed by rebellious eating and overeating. Though she managed to free herself from dieting in recent years, Hara says a peaceful relationship with food still eludes her. In her words, “Loving myself didn’t magically make the food conversation go away.

Regrets. They’re something all of us have experienced over the years.  Whether it’s not following a dream career, missing out on the trip of a lifetime, or wishing you had been able to say that final goodbye, regrets can be truly hard to move on from.  As we explore in this episode, our regrets and disappointments in life can not only be difficult to get over, they can end up massively influencing every area of our lives – including our relationship with weight and food.  Think of it this way: regrets and disappointments are a burden. They hold us back mentally and emotionally, and keep us stuck in the past.  While we may not be consciously aware of them, our regrets can be a heavy weight – and we can end up associating that emotional weight with any physical weight we may be carrying.   As you’ll hear in this episode, Marc David works with 60-year old Mardeen around her desire to lose 7 pounds. Mardeen has already lost some weight, and would love to lose a little more. Like so many of us, one of the key beli

When it comes to weight, most of us are focused on improving our physical metabolism. We’ve been taught to think that weight loss is largely about reducing our caloric intake and increasing our daily exercise.  But what’s often not talked about are the role of hidden negative emotions in our weight journey. We may acknowledge the importance of processing and integrating emotions like anger and depression for our mental health. However, emotional metabolism is also essential for our physical health. So in this episode, we explore anger and depression on the weight continuum. Because so many people (especially women) have been taught that being angry isn’t OK … leading to depression, heaviness, and feeling stuck.  And while honoring and giving space for anger won’t necessarily translate into weight loss, it’s a vital step to: ✅ Affirming we are enough, just as we are – paving the way for greater self-acceptance and self-love ✅ Opening up to pleasure, whether we’re at our “ideal” weight or not ✅ Giving anger a v

In this episode, we explore how, for some people, the lifelong desire to lose weight can reflect an unconscious attempt to “fix” parts of ourselves that we think are broken or somehow wrong – something that is common for those of us who have endured childhood trauma or abuse.  As we know, childhood abuse and trauma can take many forms. And for too many, the effects of that abuse linger on well into adulthood, touching just about every aspect of life – from our intimate relationships, mental and physical health, self-confidence, and so much more.  Those of us who have endured abuse, trauma, or abandonment can end up feeling very unsafe in our bodies, or that there is something wrong with us that needs fixing.  As Marc David explores with 50-year old coaching client, Denise, one of the many ways people will sometimes try to re-establish safety or restore wholeness is by controlling their weight and diet. While Denise has largely healed from the childhood abuse she endured, she still struggles with not feeling w

Many of us have had the thought, “I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin.”  But have you ever stopped and truly considered this phrase? When we talk about feeling comfortable in our skin, we’re usually thinking about our weight. We want to be thinner, have a flatter belly, or trimmer thighs. We’re eager to feel good in our clothes, and want to like what we see in the mirror. And it seems like a reasonable desire to have the body that we want.  But as we explore in this episode, there’s an implicit negative belief behind this seemingly innocent goal: that, once we lose the weight, we’ll finally feel good about ourselves, and be happy. And perhaps that we’ll finally feel proud of ourselves, and that we’ve accomplished something important, and are therefore “worthy.” We can finally let go of all the guilt and self-blame, and bask in a glittering pool of self-acceptance. Here’s one thing we know, and at some level, you probably do, too… Believing that we’ll finally love and accept ourselves after losing w

Ask anyone who has diabetes what it’s like living with this disease, and you’ll probably hear a lot. … About the hundreds of decisions that have to be made on a daily basis to manage their condition. … About how scary it often is knowing that blood sugar dysregulation can be life-threatening. … About how depressing it can be knowing this is a lifelong condition. … And about how exhausting it is to do all of this, WHILE managing the other demands of life.   Diabetes management is a big deal, and living with it isn’t easy.  Affecting an estimated 422 million people globally, diabetes is one of the most common chronic modern illnesses we currently face.  And while there’s increasing awareness of how to manage diabetes, there’s not enough focus on the emotional impact that diabetes has on those affected by it. The truth is, we simply don’t hear enough about the emotional havoc our illnesses can play on us.  In this episode of The Psychology of Eating Podcast, we take a special look at the very real issue of emoti

In this episode, we explore some of the gifts and hidden messages our health challenges are here to teach us. For 56-year old Lynn, there’s been a lot of adjustment to her previously active lifestyle since sustaining a knee injury. Previously, Lynn was very active and has always enjoyed helping others. But since her injury, she’s been in such pain that she isn’t moving her body like she did before – leading to weight gain and digestive issues. And yet, Lynn’s spirits haven’t been dimmed. Instead, she’s feeling hopeful and inspired about what’s next.  As she explores with Marc David, Lynn has found her health challenges have taught her a lot. She’s learned that perfectionism is no longer her highest value, and that setting boundaries with herself and accepting “what is” have been key to her emotional and physical well-being.  So in this special episode, we celebrate one woman’s journey in discovering how our health challenges don’t have to be our downfalls – they can be our allies, spurring tremendous personal