Harkpodcast

Whether or not blue snowflakes have started to fall in your part of the world, signs of the holiday season have begun to appear. If you're already sick of eggnog and Christmas music, this episode - in which we cover two songs about what a bummer Xmas really is - is for you.

This week's episode comes out on Diwali, the festival of lights celebrated in India and around the world! In honor of this bright and joyful holiday, RJ and Ian listen to two upbeat winter holiday songs about light - "Candlelight", a light-hearted Hanukkah parody by The Maccabeats, and "Light of Christmas", an odd and uneven Veggie Tales anthem by Owl City and tobyMac. Thanks again to Emma for requesting "Candlelight"!

This episode features HARK's first guest - Ian's sister, Emma stops by to help celebrate RJ's birthday, review two glam rock Christmas songs, and make a live request - stay tuned 'til the end if you want to find out what we're listening to next week! Thanks again to Emma for joining us and being such wonderful company.

Hello herald angels... and hellish an-ghouls! This week's episode is spooooky! Maybe not as spooky as a ghost, but like, as spooky as Tim Burton. Happy Halloween, and don't forget to turn your clocks back on November 1st! Need some holiday reading? RJ highly recommends Herschel and the Hanukkah Goblins: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/496802.Hershel_and_the_Hanukkah_Goblins

Meedley meedley meedley meedley! This week we explore some hot licks in our first-ever foray into holiday metal. By Dave's request, we cover the poorly named "Heavy Metal Christmas" by Twisted Sister. Then we heal those wounds with the soothing/awesome vocals of the late Christopher Lee. Check out our snazzy redesign at harkpodcast.tumblr.com! Also, we neglect to mention in this episode that RJ started a new twitter account related to the podcast: nihilist_abba.

New Year's Day - a time to reflect on our failings, to drink away our regrets, and to make promises we do not intend to keep. Nothing matters. Enjoy ABBA. Also, Snoop Dogg and some other guy do a thing. (In case you've never seen it, here's Nihilist Arby's: http://twitter.com/nihilist_arbys)

For World Space Week, RJ and Ian take on a request for "Christmas Tree", a sexy beep-boop song by Lady Gaga and Space Cowboy. We then cleanse our ear-palates with the infectiously upbeat "Space Christmas" by Shonen Knife. Thank you to Dylan for requesting "Christmas Tree". I guess. (We love you Dylan.) The War Rocket Ajax episode that we mention can be found here: http://www.warrocketajax.com/2013/12/23/episode-187-the-2013-yuletide-solstice-podmass-podcast-podbash-blast-bash-cast-jax-fmatt-fraction-and-maggie-serota/ As we've mentioned before, the WRA dudes have been a big inspiration to HARK, so definitely go give them a listen!

For "Maple Leaf Day", an obscure Canadian cousin of Arbor Day, we're celebrating trees. But expect the unexpected - sorry, no Tannenbaums. Instead, we review "Hanukkah Tree" by The Klezmatics, a Klezmer tune with lyrics penned by a famous goy, and a version of "Rockin Around the Christmas Tree" with a poorly-executed plot twist performed by Canadian sensations Michael Bublé and Carly Rae Jepsen.

The Muppets' return to TV may be in the news, but we're keeping it old school. In honor of Jim Henson's birthday, we discuss and rank two songs from the greatest Christmas specials of all time: John Denver and The Muppets: A Christmas Together, and RJ's own personal Citizen Kane, A Muppet Family Christmas. In case you were wondering what quote made RJ cry, it was: "My hope still is to leave the world a bit better than when I got here."

Bite tongue. Deep breaths. Count to ten. Put in headphones. Listen to this podcast instead of having awkward interactions with family members. This week, we cover two songs about the misery of holiday togetherness: "Home For the Holidays" by Gentleman Auction House and "Just For Now" by Imogen Heap. Also: we experience a Christmas Miracle in September. Thank you to our #1 Fan Time Machine for requesting this week's songs! Check out Time Machine's podcast, "I'll Show You", at jessandjoshshowyou.squarespace.com!

Hey, you know what's cool? Everything. It's true - or at least, it will be - in this week's selections: "Everything's Gonna Be Cool This Christmas" by Eels and "Everything is Cool" by John Prine.

In an attempt to populate the list with some underrepresented decades, Ian and RJ look to the pleasant, predictable Christmas classics of the 1940s and the abrasive holiday hits of the 1980s. Listen to us pontificate on the cultural status of Rudolph and puzzle over the inexplicable popularity of Max Headroom. Seriously, what was that dude's deal?

Having reviewed so many songs from the 21st century, this week we reach back in time to the early days of recorded music. The radio-play-esque "The Fairy On the Christmas Tree" and Fats Waller's "Swingin' Them Jingle Bells" transport us to the 1930s, and we enjoy our stay.

This week, we look at two more Christmas comedy songs born on YouTube. First up is the criminally under-watched "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas" by Crudbump, which might be our most explicit song ever. Then we peel back the layers of one Froggy Fresh, a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in John Cena pajamas, and his simply titled song, "Christmas". Meet @drewtoothpaste on twitter in X mins if u want an ass kicking: https://twitter.com/drewtoothpaste/media

It may be a hot and humid outside, but it's always sweater weather in our hearts. This week, listener Jenny points us toward an ode to Christmas gear from a highly unusual source - "Holiday Sweater" by the San Jose Sharks. We also consider a song about alternative festive threads - "Christmas Sweatz" by Rhett and Link.

Our theme quickly goes off the rails this week as we cover another Bing Crosby classic (but one we hate) and a recent pop original by Colbie Callait (also bad). Corrections to some of our statements in this episode: Hawai'i was invaded in 1893, not 1898 - it was annexed in 1898. The Hawai'ian language is considered vulnerable, but not dying. Heroin, like alcohol, does not cause hallucinations. We hope this has been an informative preview of the episode.

There's a lot of music of one particular genre populating the bottom of our list: country music. This week we give country its fair shake by reviewing two country Christmas songs we actually like, "Hard Candy Christmas" by Dolly Parton and "Pretty Paper" by Willie Nelson. Grab your harmonica and get ready to get melancholy, y'all.

What do Summer Glau, Karl Malone, Lynda Carter, Banana Yoshimoto and our co-host Ian all have in common? They were all born on July 24th! In this week's episode, we celebrate Ian's birthday by listening to Christmas covers by The A-Teens (member Dhani Lennevald was born July 24, 1984) and actress Daveigh Chase (born July 24, 1990). Also mentioned in this episode: Jingle Bell Rocks, the documentary about Christmas music and it devotees, which we liked a lot! See the trailer here: http://jinglebellrocks.vhx.tv/

We've covered a number of crappy pop songs from the late 1990s and early 2000s on HARK. But the world of crappy original pop holiday music from this era is vast and diverse, as illustrated by this week's songs, requested by Katelyn. Hilary Duff gives us the uninspiring but possibly science-fictional "Santa Claus Lane", while Canadian wunderkinds The Moffatts deliver the maddeningly catchy "Earl the Christmas Squirrel".

How did we decide to follow up our 50-song milestone extravaganza? With a double dose of Mariah Carey, of course! We cover the pop songstress' modern Christmas classic (you know the one), as well as her more recent - and more peculiar - take on the New Year standard Auld Lang Syne.