Thank God I'm Atheist

Nothing says "holiday spirit" quite like Christian leaders panicking over a goth-themed Christmas market, and their dramatic meltdown is far more entertaining than anything on the vendor tables. From there, we look at an Oklahoma student stunned that her Bible-based gender essay didn't pass a psychology assignment, the Vatican's latest attempt to police monogamy, and a disturbing story out of South Africa where a pastor's self-appointed authority went far beyond anything resembling justice. Back in Utah, Sweet Salt—an LDS modest-fashion clothing store—is shutting down, and in Austria, three elderly nuns have staged a bold return to their abbey with the help of an unexpectedly large Instagram following. In our closing segment, Dan shares a thoughtful and deeply personal reflection on the recent passing of his mother—an honest conversation about compassion, autonomy, and the realities families face.

The Epstein files have finally started to drip out, and the early reactions are already something to behold. This week, Frank and Dan wade into the bizarre rhetorical contortions spilling out of the right-wing media sphere—from Megyn Kelly's head-scratching attempt to "reframe" things to the Catholic League charging in with one of the most offensive defenses imaginable. We also look at Catholic clergy in Chicago suing ICE for blocking access to detained migrants, and the Vatican's "generous" decision to return 62 Indigenous artifacts to First Nations communities in Canada. Meanwhile, Ken Paxton is threatening schools that won't put the Ten Commandments in every classroom, and the UK Supreme Court finally calls out mandatory religious education in Northern Ireland schools for what it is: Christian indoctrination. To close things out, we talk about gratitude and how atheists can navigate Thanksgiving without a divine recipient of their thankfulness. And if you want to support the work we do, visit: thankgodimat

SCOTUS just delivered a win for marriage equality. After nearly a decade of appeals, lawsuits, and national drama, the Supreme Court has officially declined to hear Kim Davis' case challenging gay marriage… leaving the original ruling in place and the former county clerk on the hook for hundreds of thousands of dollars. What does this mean for gay marriage going forward? We break it all down. This week's episode dives into the biggest religion-and-politics stories making headlines: SCOTUS rejects Kim Davis • Marriage equality remains intact  U.S. Catholic Bishops elect a far-right "culture warrior" to lead the conference Transgender Air Force veterans sue the military after losing retirement benefits HVAC tech sues employer for forcing him to work with women (Billy Graham Rule meltdown) Pastors running as Democrats in 2026 races The UK is building a 168-foot monument to "answered prayers" (and it's… actually cool?) Plus, this year's Holiday Survival Guide for atheists navigating religious family gatherings.

A Catholic school in Pennsylvania put the words "Arbeit Macht Frei"—the infamous phrase from the Auschwitz gate—on the back of its Halloween float. Frank and Dan try to understand how something this shocking made it through so many adults without anyone realizing what it meant, and what it says about religious education and historical ignorance. Also this week: a "family values" lawmaker caught up in the Ashley Madison data leak, ICE detains an Episcopal priest who's legally in the U.S., and the Pope shuts down the "Mary as co-redemptrix" movement. Plus, Bangladesh clerics push to ban music in schools, and churches fail a TikTok test on helping hungry families. Finally, the guys talk about the outrage over New York City's new Muslim mayor, why so many people equate "Muslim" with "terrorist," and what that says about the fear that still drives American religion.

Christian nationalism, hypocrisy, and pepper-sprayed pastors—oh my! Frank and Dan start in Oklahoma, where LGBTQ+ kids are literally breathing easier now that hateful school superintendent Ryan Walters is gone. Then it's on to a Pentecostal whistleblower who got fired for exposing his bishop's embezzlement, Trump's latest delusional threat to invade Nigeria, and Texas judges who just got the green light to refuse gay weddings. We also check in on America's most eyeliner-forward vice-president, J.D. Vance, and learn how Florida's school-voucher crusade is accidentally funding Muslim schools (cue the outrage!). Finally, Frank and Dan dig into an unexpected question: why do clergy still carry moral weight in public protests—and could atheists ever have an equivalent? Support us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/tgiatheist  

Dan welcomes guest host Kate while Frank escapes to paradise (again!). Together they discuss new revelations about creep-o Warren Jeffs and how he forced his wives to satisfy his kinks... but you know: for the lord. This week: Gen Z "Revival" – Overhyped college baptisms; mostly young men clinging to old-school patriarchy. Pew Poll – More Americans think religion's power is rising; hosts say it's just the fringe. Kenya Wine Scandal – Communion wine sold in bars, church locks down supply. Ted Cruz & Nigeria – Cruz invents a "Christian genocide" for political points. King Charles & the Pope – First joint prayer in 400 years; royal-religious absurdity ensues. Megachurch Wealth – Pastors justify riches as God's favor, expose on greed and guilt-shaming. And of course, God's secret commandment to Warren Jeffs. 

Trump’s been thinking about eternity, and apparently he’s not so sure he’s getting into heaven. This week, Frank and Dan unpack the world’s most unexpected crisis of conscience as Trump ponders his afterlife prospects and MAGA faithful insist he’s still God’s chosen one. Also this week: an atheist in South Carolina is barred from working the polls for refusing to say “so help me God,” Oklahoma schools finally ditch their Bible mandate after Ryan Walters’ departure, and a Massachusetts town drops plans for $1.7 million worth of angel statues for police and firefighters. Across the pond, a British court rules that burning a Quran is protected free speech, and the Anglican Communion faces a potential schism over appointing a woman as Archbishop. Then, in the final segment, the guys dive into a new “children’s Bible” project, and the question of whether any version of the Bible is fit for kids. (Spoiler: probably not.)

A Texas pastor has a divine recruitment strategy—he’s telling Christians to “Join ICE for Jesus.” We unpack his unholy mix of nationalism, cruelty, and theology while trying to keep their blood pressure in check. Also in this episode: • A preacher blames the wrong calendar for the rapture’s no-show • Mormons raise nearly $400K for a shooter’s family • Catholic preschools lose their anti-LGBTQ discrimination case • Florida high school gets “Witchy Wednesday” backlash • The ELCA names its first Black presiding bishop Then, we face off over a big question: Should atheists be anti-theists—or can religion still have a place in a secular world?

Trump’s latest executive memo takes aim at “anti-Christian” Americans—and somehow that includes us and most of our listeners! Yep, under his new NSPM-7 directive, atheists officially make the terrorist watchlist. This week, Frank and Dan dig into what the memo actually says, why it’s terrifying (and absurd), and what it means for anyone who’s not worshipping at the altar of Trump. Plus: The death of LDS prophet Russell M. Nelson at 101, a new female Archbishop of Canterbury, Malaysia says you can’t quit Islam once you’ve joined, a Texas megachurch pastor gets a shockingly light sentence, a Nepal crowns a two-year-old living goddess, and the Vatican’s Swiss Guard loses its beloved clown suits.

Oklahoma’s “Trump Bibles” have landed in public schools (special editions stuffed with the Constitution and other patriotic texts), but they're conspicuously lacking the amendments that abolished slavery, secured women’s suffrage, and guaranteed civil rights. Frank and Dan unpack the scandal and what it means for education and politics. Plus: the “Jesus Take the Wheel” songwriter dies in a plane crash, Portuguese bikers get their helmets blessed, Peter Thiel ties AI regulation to the Antichrist, churches resurrect Charlie Kirk with AI generated deepfakes, Ryan Walters quits as state superintendent of schools to join an anti-union crusade, and TikTok Christians brace for a rapture that never came.

What happens when faith and bigotry collide? A Texas preacher made headlines after telling white Christian parents they need to give their kids "the talk” about the supposed dangers of Black people. This week on Thank God I’m Atheist: Trump’s “patriotic education” plan turns the nation’s 250th birthday into Christian nationalist indoctrination. Kash Patel sends Charlie Kirk to Valhalla (yes, really). The Taliban bans books by women and cuts more subjects from universities. A Colorado pastor’s crypto scam crashes and burns. A Texas pastor goes full racist with his so-called “talk.” U.S. military academies start accepting the Christian nationalist CLT exam. And for the big topic: Frank and Dan debate the promise (and horror) of human immortality—would we even want to live forever?

The Vatican has officially canonized Carlo Acutis (the first millennial saint) sparking headlines and debates worldwide. In this week’s episode of Thank God I’m Atheist, Frank and Dan unpack how the Catholic Church fast-tracked a “patron saint of the internet” and why it matters for modern Catholicism. Along the way, they dive into the historic first female preacher at the National Baptist Convention USA, the LDS Church’s 101-year-old president Russell M. Nelson and his record-setting tenure, and the Department of Defense’s controversial Bible-verse-laden videos under Pete Hegseth. They also explore why your Zodiac sign may be 2,000 years out of date and answer a listener’s question about Christian-heavy choir music in an Utah public school. Finally, they close with their candid reaction to the shocking political assassination of Charlie Kirk in Utah and what it signals about America’s religious and political landscape.

This week, Frank and Dan dig into the shocking story of a Florida pastor who ran a $50 million call center cult, complete with forced labor, starvation, and abuse in the name of God. They also cover: Kristi Noem funneling Homeland Security funds to churches, the Taliban refusing to let men rescue women after an earthquake, a chaplain abusing detainees in ICE custody, and a Mormon columnist caught in a predator sting. Listener emails tackle everything from schizophrenia stigma to Dobson’s “strong-willed child” legacy. And in the final segment: the Wall Street Journal’s profile of ex-Mormon TikTok influencers—and why Utah Senator Mike Lee is losing his mind over it.

This week on Thank God I’m Atheist, Frank is joined by Rachel (with Dan off at Burning Man!) for a lively dive into religion’s latest absurdities. Trump’s bizarre new obsession with “getting to heaven” makes the headlines, Kentucky churches are stealing library books in the name of morality, Quebec wrestles with prayer bans in public spaces, and a nurse swaps her grandmother’s medication for “vitamins and prayers” with tragic results. In the second half, Frank and Rachel tackle the empty ritual of “thoughts and prayers” in the wake of yet another school shooting. Why do politicians keep offering platitudes instead of solutions? And what does it say about a country that can't figure out how to protect children?

This week Frank and Dan take a long, hard look at the legacy of James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family and one of the most influential figures of the Religious Right. He spent decades pushing child abuse as “discipline,” spreading anti-LGBTQ hate, and shaping the culture wars that still drag us down today. With his passing, we’re not exactly breaking out the hymns… We also dive into: Mormon women going wild over new, shoulder-baring garments An Episcopal priest who turned psychedelics into his new ministry A Catholic money man trying to steer investments away from LGBTQ rights and Planned Parenthood Bible verse sneakers making their way into the Museum of the Bible Mormon leaders panicking as church members turn to AI to write their sacrament talks

Oklahoma’s Ryan Walters loses in court while doubling down on Christian victimhood, Pastor Doug Wilson’s growing extremist empire in Idaho gets national attention, and Lindsey Graham warns that “God will pull the plug on America” if we stop funding Israel. Also in the mix: Marjorie Taylor Greene picks a fight with Lindsey Graham A Christian charity fires a pregnant gay woman and wins in court New York pushes back against political churches with a bold new bill A Pennsylvania priest rigs a Corvette raffle And in Arizona, a young candidate who says women shouldn’t hold office is… running for office

This week, the Christians found us… and they came in swingin’ (well, typin’). The YouTube comment section lit up with righteous fury after last week’s episode, and we couldn’t resist talking about it. We’ve also got the story of a megachurch pastor returning to the pulpit after prison, a psychedelic mushroom “church” that just beat the state of Utah in court, ICE raids inside places of worship, Missouri’s open push for “Christian conservative” gerrymandering, and the Mormon Church heading back to court over child sex abuse cover-ups. And to top it off, we tear into the most tired, cliché lines believers love to throw at atheists—yes, including Pascal’s Wager.

What do a religious sex club, the Shroud of Turin, and a pedophile at a church fair have in common? They're all part of this week’s wild ride through religious absurdity. Frank and Dan dig into: The airline controversy over booted Jewish teens—anti-Semitism or just unruly French kids? The Shroud of Turin gets debunked with 3D modeling. A Tennessee pastor uses food bank funds to pay for prostitution—and lands in prison. Guess who got kicked out of the state fair? Not the church with the pedophile. The Vatican quietly reinstates a convicted priest after child porn charges. Plus: A Salt Lake City sex club registers as a religion to dodge the law. Is this the ultimate hack to freedom in a theocracy? Watch full episodes + Shorts: YouTube.com/@TGIAtheist Support us on Patreon: patreon.com/tgiatheist

Oklahoma’s ultra-conservative education chief Ryan Walters wants to keep schools “smut-free”—but apparently forgot to turn off his retro porn before a state board meeting. Frank and Dan break down the jaw-dropping hypocrisy and the political fallout. Also in this episode: Indiana’s lieutenant governor proposes the death penalty as a condition for abortion in cases of rape A prominent Christian activist pleads guilty to child porn charges Clergy are quietly letting AI write their sermons Mike Johnson celebrates the IRS giving up on church-politics enforcement And an entire Welsh diocese is caught binge-drinking for Jesus

Ever wondered what it means when a church goes full corporate? Frank and Dan wrap up the episode with a deep dive into the Mormon Church’s 26-story office tower and the billions behind it. But first: witches selling spells on Etsy (and why it violates Etsy’s own rules), Texas making it illegal for secular celebrants to perform weddings, the Magnolia Network featuring a gay couple and triggering conservative outrage, Pride organizers in Newfoundland banning Recovering From Religion, Japan moving to classify forced religious participation as child abuse, and Billy Graham’s family suing over his words being used against Trump.