Building Confidence In Young Athletes1

When parents and their young athletes gain some understanding of how the nervous system works, they can better cope with fight, flight and freeze reactions. Sports performance consultant Pomai Miyata explains that nervous energy can be helpful. But when kids freeze, their nervous system is working against them. She gives tips for helping kids who tend to freeze up.

Often, parents focus too much on ensuring their kids are having fun in youth sports, which results in kids dropping out if the experience isn't fun or entertaining, says Jonathan Edwards, Olympian, speaker, coach and author of "An Athlete's Guide to Winning in Sports and Life." But kids don't drop out of math or English when they're no longer fun. What should parents focus on instead?

Body image worries. Fears of excelling and being chosen to lead. These issues undermine girls’ experiences in sports. Girls and young women not only worry about how they look; they’re concerned that other girls will be angry with them for doing well and being chosen for leadership positions, says Breanne Smedley, a certified female athlete Confidence Coach, former college volleyball player, youth sports coach and founder of The Elite Competitor. Girls and young women also mirror their mothers’ confidence issues, she says.

Communicating feelings, deep breathing and exercise are just three activities that help boost resilience in sports kids, says Dr. Randall Bell, a former youth sports coach and sports parent, a socio-economist and author of "Post-Traumatic Thriving: The Art, Science, & Stories of Resilience." Coaches and parents can help kids bounce back after setbacks by encouraging them to talk about how they feel, helping them practice deep breathing and ensuring they get exercise. It's also important for coaches and parents to acknowledge kids' feelings and use positive language, he says. Coaches naturally help accomplish these goals by providing an outlet for exercise, holding team meetings and being good listeners, he says.

Parents need to remember that sports should be the kids' journey, not the parents', says Amy Oliphant, a former Division 1 tennis player and founder, Transcend Mental Training, which provides mental conditioning coaching. What other tips does the youth sports coach and mom to four athletes suggest? Kids should play multiple sports, rather than specializing early and should help young athletes focus on the process.

"Trust the training," says Mark Jeffery, a London-based former Army officer and Army tennis champion who is helping organize an online summit, "Winning Summit," which includes a Sept. 19 event for sports parents. https://earlybird.winningsummit.com/ Jeffery explains how sports kids can turn off their tendency to overthink and just go for it, or trust the training. His suggestions are based on his experiences as an Army officer in the UK.

When gymnast Simone Biles experienced the "twisties" during the 2021 Olympics and withdrew, was the move due to a mental toughness lapse or a mental health challenge? Lisa Cohn chats with her brother, mental game expert Dr. Patrick Cohn, about the incident. What can sports parents learn from Biles' experience? Did Biles let down her country or was she brave to express her fears and difficulties?

Chris Meyer coached his son's team for nine years, from kindergarten through 8th grade. In this interview, the author of "Four Months...and a Lifetime," explains how he focused on teaching the young athletes life lessons. He reveals what he learned from his players, and gives sports parents tips about ensuring their kids are happy and confident in sports.

What does it mean when sports kids are "in" their hindbrain as opposed to their frontal lobe when practicing or competing? Pomai Miyata, a sports performance consultant, sports mom and founder of ICE Mental Game, explains that young athletes are more likely to perform intuitively, "just go for it" and get in the zone if they're in their hindbrain. She explains how parents can help their kids make the most of their hindbrains.

Sports kids may feel anxious about changing the routines they developed during the COVID pandemic, says Elizabeth Englander, a Ph.D psychologist, researcher, professor and author of "The Insanely Awesome Post-Pandemic Playbook." However, playing sports is a good way to transition to normal life, she says. She gives tips for helping sports kids make that transition.

Parents can connect with kids many ways when their kids are playing sports, says Dr. Harley Rotbart, pediatrician, sports parent and author of "No Regrets Living." One opportunity is helping them through losses or mistakes. Parents can teach kids to focus on being grateful for what they have, not on their losses. He also gives tips for focusing on growth, rather than winning.

Ryan Colby, a mental health specialist for athletes, is seeing a big jump in the number of kids experiencing anxiety and depression during the pandemic—and that includes sports kids who were already feeling pressure. “I’m seeing crazy spikes in anxiety and depression,” he says.

Kids can learn a number of “superpowers” by participating in sports--traits such as courage, resilience and character. That’s the message from Beth Brown, an educator with a Ph.D in sports psychology and the author of the children’s book series, “Adventures with Divot and Swish.” She’s also a former member of the University of Oklahoma basketball team as well as the conference champion women’s golf team.

Jack Canfield, co-creator of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series, peak performance expert and author of the new kids' book "I Can Believe in Myself" tells how to turn kids' "I can't" beliefs into "I can." He gives tips for helping kids step out of their comfort zone and explains how this helps them build confidence and learn life lessons. The father of four describes some of his experiences as a sports dad and coach.

Emotional contagion can run wild in youth sports teams, says Jess Woods, Ph.D, a sport and performance consultant, sports parent and youth sports coach. She explains how kids can "catch" emotions from parents, coaches and teammates, and how this can hurt--or help--a team's performance and perspective. She gives parents and coaches tips for helping kids avoid being negatively impacted by others' emotions in sports.

Resilience is an important trait for kids in sports. It helps them bounce back after losses, injuries and other types of adversity. Psychologist Kathryn Den Houter, author of Resilience: A Workbook: Powering Through Adversity to Find Happiness describes how parents can help kids be resilient and flexible. Dr. Den Houter is a former sports mom to a successful equestrian.

What's it like for a teen athlete to play sports, especially during the COVID-19 crisis? Deacon Clark is a high schooler who runs track and plays basketball. He discusses identity issues related to being an athlete, sports kids who aren't team players and what it was like feeling pressured to play basketball when he was injured. He described playing basketball in a school that didn't prepare well for COVID--and why he changed schools.

Why is it so important for young athletes to seek a balanced life, rather than focusing exclusively on sports? Hernan Chousa, a former tennis pro and sports dad to a Division 1 athlete, says that kids who lack balance will burn out more quickly and experience other challenges. Chousa will talk about parents in sports during a presentation at "The Winning Summit." https://2021.winningsummit.com/talks/parentshift/#

It’s important to build teams that focus on inclusion, which will boost all players’ confidence and success, says Nadine Haruni, a lawyer and author of “Freeda the Frog and Her New Blue Family.” She gives tips to help teams create inclusiveness and empathy for kids of color, as well as kids in non-traditional families. As a mother in a blended family with five kids, she speaks from experience.

For Cami Hawkins, CEO of Marathon Kids, which provides resources for schools to start running clubs, motivating kids is all about setting small goals and celebrating success. Hawkins describes how the organization’s coaches set goals that are specific to kids’ interests and abilities. They also celebrate participants’ successes