Beauty And Da Beast Podcast W/ Joey Diaz And Felicia Michaels

Bert "The Machine" Kreischer joins us as we chat about Lobster Fra Diovolo being the ultimate leg spreader, who has the aim of a poet, and why "Wow, I really don't care anymore..." is a way better feeling then falling in love. 

What does Marcus Aurelius, ball-gags, Buddha and crabs have in common you ask? Duncan Mutha F*ckin Trussell!!!

Not for nuthin, but those are my balls you're squeezing - not a blood pressure machine. Um, I'm going to lay down on the floor, wake me up one minute before I gotta hit the stage. We were more then friends, we were each other's insurance policy. With special guest Josh Adam Meyers.

This ain't no Jimmy Buffet concert cock sucka, we're leaving NOW! And other things people yell during the middle of a grift. With guitarest extraordinaire Gary Myrick, who illuminates for us the Austin music scene of the seventies. 

I mean honestly, how many times do I gotta ask a California Douche bag to stop kicking the back of my chair!?! C'mon, we want to see your real album collection, the one in the closet near the bottom of the pile. With special guest Law and Order writer, producer and stand up comic Mick Betancourt. Last but not least, all the fun little places you can spritz a little Hai Karate in a pinch.

Let's cut to the chase. When Richard Pryor says to you, "After you're done wiping, do you think you could drive yourself over to Columbia Studios to help me work on a script?" You put the crossword puzzle down, flush the toilet and haul ass into Hollywood. Writer, Director, Producer Rocco Urbisci drops by and chats about all things Pryor and Carlin. Oh, and by the way, it's milk milk lemonade TIME!!!

Comic extraordinaire and all around cool cat, Willie Barcena drops by and shares his thoughts on why mice attack, cows that jog, and learning in the nick of time how to turn your back on anger. Brought to you by Tainted Visions Art.

Screw it! We ain't gonna make thirty.. You mean I dug the grave for nothing!?! It's true, in some circles the man who eats the hole turns to the pole. And yes, a bleeding ulcer can help a fella out during a bank heist. We are joined by Salvatore Polisi, former mobster and witness for the prosecution that imprisoned John Gotti, stops by the studio and chit-chats about infamous mobsters, and how he eventually opted out of the witness protection program. Brought to you by Tainted Vision Arts

Hey, you got fifty and I can get forty, let's go partners on a package! Things to do with a gas mask when you're bored. Going to Houston? You better take some vitamins and start doing some push-ups now. What can we tell you, the Devil likes to eat out... With very special guest Felipe Esparza!

Psst... You need some drugs, or a couple of easy women? No thanks, but do you know where I can get a good sandwhich? Look, I know you're trying to teach me about artistic truth and emotional recall, but it's starting to feel like you're clowning me. Hey, If you're going to shake me down, at least be a man and bring a gun. Red lights never counted, when Uncle Joey needed a package! With very special guest, actor Emilio Rivera from Sons of Anarchy.

Sometimes, linguine and clam sauce can save the day. Don't worry, your father's going to be allright...And other mumblings from a stone cold killer. Hooray! Sinatra just called and heard you had a problem. Look, here's all the juice you paid, but don't get me wrong - I gotta keep the principle. If all else fails, jab to the face, drop your right hand to the body, and bring your left hook up to the chin. This week's guest is former World Boxing Federation Super Cruiserweight Champion - Vinnie Curto! 

What does Joey Diaz, The Captain and Tennille, a "Spoonful Of Sugar," and comic Wendy Liebman have in common!?! Mr. Cool Cat himself... Producer Jeff Sherman. 

I'm DONE! But, If you need me I'll be back.. The story of the little speedbag that could. What sport league was the most romantic, you ask? The ABA BITCHES!!! The girl who needed to believe that Noriega was downstairs. With special guest, Emmy Award nominated actor Nicholas Turturro! Sweet Lord, this episode is FANF*CKINGTASTIC!

So...You're at your desk, hacking away, feverishly wishing that Beauty and Da Beast would devote a whole episode to all things MMA. YOU GOT IT BITCHES!!! With very special guest, Anderson Silva's manager himself, Ed Soares!

Excuse me, is this an open mic or an Al-Anon meeting? The disturbing story of the young man who quit comedy on the day Bob Hope died. Ladies and gentlemen, the man, the Buckeye, Mr. Deathsquad himself... Brian Redban!

What can we tell you, some people will eat a scab off a knee. The few, the proud, the men who use baby wipes when they go boom boom... With very special guest, Pakistan's number one model, comic extraodinaire - Brody Stevens!!!

Look, man to man... That chick in the negligee looks like Joey Diaz in a wig, you gotta get me outta here!!! With special guest Josh Wolf, from Chelsea Lately.

Hooray, Joey's back from knee surgery!!! Television producer, writer and director Ali LeRoi joins us and talks about going against the grain, wanting to send love letters to Lyle Waggoner and how he out punked Bernie Mac.

How to get a degree through the Florida State Prison System. The story of the idiot savant who shopped for porn. The woman who decreed, "Why I could just watch Joey Diaz eat crackers all day!!!" With special guest Bert Kreischer.

L.A. lesson number one, never be eighteen dollars away from a twenty! Cowards, Squares and Satan, oh my... The Comedy Store X-Files: The Paul Mooney Complaint Folder. And finally, the story of the Automaton that could channel the underworld. Special Guest Duncan Trussell!!!